Thread 40810204

Old, Decaying, and Forgotten Edition

PREVIOUS: >>40784444
QOTT: what type of goddess would you be if you could ascend? example: i would be a goddess that lets hons and john 50s turn into beautiful biological women if they self harm in my name (this is just an example)

how do you cope with being a failure and wanting to kill yourself

>>40810204 (OP)
Funger is suc a mainstay here that I think this is like Ma'habre
Given the question ,it may be

>>40810420
Mtfg is literally Ma'habre. Thats why I made it the picrel. There is nothing left but darkness and the denizens of darkness

>>40810446
Lets go I got it

How the mighty have fallen.

Why does my hand smell like poop wtf

Ohayou
Sleepy Sunday today..
also I'm up during the morning! Unusual!

Tell me to kill myself and i'll do it. i'm right there. Please

>>40810842
love yourself NOW

>>40810846
Stop. Tell me what i want to hear. Please

>>40810849
after the rain the rainbow

>>40810851
whatever

>>40810842
Goon your clitty to sissy hypnos!

>>40810933
Nta but can I?

What's stopping me from raping you sissies? Really? What the could a weak little sissy like you do kek?

>>40811167
post hairline and gut

>>40811211
Do you prefer anal or vaginal sex?

TIL; The pathetic Bookie Rizzle is Englands most abusive man child
snew won
navy won

kat told me snew has a beard now

>>40811490
kat told me mongo cheated on her, verbally and physically abused her, is a rapist, starved her and is a cat fish (much uglier IRL than on pictures)

worried is true?

>>40811543
I honestly think it's so beautiful to imagine Jelle and Nick having sex. Two naked men cuddling together in bed with little boobs on their chests. Jelle pulls out his penis and rubs it against Nick's butthole. Nick made sure to douche so his hole is clean and there is no poop. Mono enters him. Their two males tongues embracing a long, wet kiss.

It's beautiful and always teaches me that LGBT rights matter.
Hatred and homophobia have no fucking place in this world.

stfu jfc

>>40811939
mono won, nigga

snew rubbing his beard on nicks thigh cuts…. jelle walks in and kills them both and then himself

started a new vn

How're yall this fine navy day? I'm just hangin with my friend Sarah still and eating reeses pumpkins. It's been a very lazy comfy weekend for me I hope yall can say the same

nobody asked terry

erm hi sister I had an idea...what if we all decided to worship chud penises? I think it would fix most of our problems and chuds normally have nice big penises to worship!

>>40813389
The people need to know

at what age do you have to start getting mammograms

>>40814019
40 springs

>>40814026
yeah i'm just paranoid because i'm scared as fuck of getting a mammogram as a manmoder

do you got any mtf friends who are namefluid?

>>40814097
You’ve got to be kidding me, how do you even have relationships with people who aren close friends at that point

>>40814128
she’s managed to keep the same discord name for almost a year now. i know her dead legal name and new chosen name. i also told them my own legal name. so there is s trust with us.

ruined my future and dreams
i always ruin everything no matter how much i try
can't see a reason to go on

>>40810380
it's not your fault probably. maybe your idea of success needs to change.

>>40814190
nta but people will always blame you even for the slightest thing

>>40814169
Live just to spite the people who've wronged you. That was my reason for a while and it got me through till I learned to be happy again

>>40812419
What is this

Evening already..

need to help friend inventory parts warehouse with hundreds of parts no idea how we're going to do it

>>40813181
>fake friend Sarah
>inb4 "Sarah" starts to post here
>not eating reeses pumpkins
>weekend full of sneed and feed
Another day another larp

>>40814428
Ugh i wish you were rite, my tummy hurts

>>40814450
sponsoring your dentist with that american filth

>>40814502
Still no cavities at 56 years old I think I'll be fine

>>40814636
Agp are retards

>>40814252
those people sadly revel in my demise. Its too late to see things differently now and ive done a lot of bad myself so i deserve it. i should have heeded my friends warnings about them. an important lesson to be taken away, too blinded i was.

though i learned that unexpected messages coming through the void from friends from a long time ago do liften the weight and remind me not everyone is as lost as i thought. some very kind souls out there still haven't forgotten i exist, that feels nice and makes the future a bit more hopeful.

>>40814340
time to fuck off then.

>>40814411
jedi mind tricks!

dw everybody, I have just received news that next week will be more productive
I can't wait tbqh

>>40814815
Congrats on increasing productivity!!

i hate """love"""

>>40814846
it's for everybody carol, you have to make the most of next week and read a lot mhm
>>40814859
I guess, did something happen?

>>40814859
aye agree
always "love this and that" but never committing and then it destroys you when that "love" is obliterated over the most simplest reasons just because they avoid committing to it.
why are humans like that
the only way out is to just never risk falling in love and dying alone as a bitter wine aunt

Hiii idk what to say I'm just posting because I'm tripping on acid rn and I wish I had a cute emo trans girlfriend to share it with so badly like I'm just staring at yuri and longing so hard rn

I want a gf so badly and idk how to like contain it anymore help how what do I do :c

>>40815074
you can find like 5 here now, how many do you need and for how long do you need them?

>>40814894
I've never dated anyone who actually cared about me. I'm just a therapist whore. They don't hesitate to berate or ditch me the moment my sex aversion kicks in or I need some help
Just broke off with a guy I was with. never again
>>40814956
for real. I'm going to die alone in a trailer in the woods. I'm like Ted K if she trooned out

>>40815074
I love acid, have a fun trip ^^

>>40814859
but you love hate

>>40814636
shirt size xxxl lol

>>40815186
I get it, but don't turn to the dark side
don't become bitter just cos someone who was never going to appreciate you ended up not appreciating you
that's honestly probably entirely their fault, not yours
>>40815239
fits me tbqh

>>40815239
>shirt size xxxl lol
It's large, not xxxl. I'm only 200 lbs

https://www.youtube.com/live/Xq61_Dc-RXc

SHAKSPEIR IS STREAMING

>>40815312
is that you or a friend?

>>40815390
friend

>>40814190
that's definitely part of it, and I think actually trying to do things that I currently write off as not doable due to anxiety

>>40814323
the house on fata morgana
the first story had incest in it which was a turn off but it didn't get as bad as I was expecting. I thought there would be rape but it was only attempted, not completed, and a part that I thought was scalping was just giving someone a haircut so it felt pretty range and also made me feel like I might be a bit fucked in the head that my natural assumptions are worse than the horror genre game's actual plot lol
it's pretty ok though, not as good as animamundi the dark alchemist but that vn is very niche and appealing to me so I'm not surprised

>>40815285
lol is that really too
I recommend a change of wardrobe at the very least

>>40815186
It's been a mixed bag, lots of ups and downs, went from "I'm so pretty now wow young me would be proud" to "Goddamn I'm one ugly ogremoder jfc". I hope you find love anonette <3

>>40815629
anxiety is such an obstacle. the most useful perspective I've heard about anxiety is that it's a signal that something is important to us, so it helps us distinguish what matters to us and to take care when approaching those things.

>>40815865
yes and sometimes there are so many signals sometimes it's hard to discern what is what rather than getting overwhelmed, shutting down, and withdrawing. gotta put in the legwork to grow up and do stuff though, even if it hurts

love only destroys
it only hurts
every mistake, as minor as it may be, gets you ghosted and destroys everything you once had and you never get a chance to fix your mistakes
they go from loving and trusting to hating and despising you in a fraction of a second and you don't even get a chance to explain yourself.
its best to stay alone forever so you don't have to repeatedly be traumatized by the experience

>>40816366
relatable

how many days of taking care of a kid does it take to essentially have common law adopted them

>>40816682
You're their mother. Don't fiddle them.

>>40816705
jesus christ fuck you
but nah this one isn't mine
I mean it kinda feels like im their mom at this point but he was born when I was like 16
which is crazy young but I guess not far off from when my kiddo was born
his actual parents are just not really around

>>40816366
Yea been there for sure, best bet is to just move on from people like that though. The people to focus your efforts on are the ones that love you enough to give you chances and not freak out over tiny mistakes!

>>40816811
those do not exist
ime

>>40816789
you're parenting someone else's kids while not being there for yours? where are they, parenting your kids? is this just musical chairs?

loving sex and making out with mono sesh

>>40816874
I love this pic so much

>>40816395

Is Monos BBC not enough Kat??? pls don't break jelles heart
SHE IS YOUR SOULMATE

>>40816865
I've found a few, just takes luck and work.

>>40816911
When they were split up, k said m can't get an erection and they're an asexual couple. And that m made k live in a spare closet lmao

>>40816901
it's art honestly

>>40816932
Why was mono bragging about his dick and how hard he gets it with pills and how much kat enjoys being pounded anally? Just lying like always? Figures I guess lmfao

>>40816962
Yeah mono is a cringe retard like Navy, still needing to cling to the idea of being a big cock male stud while literally growing breasts and getting feminization surgeries. Lack of maturity.

>>40816988
No way Mines small ugly and Jewish everyone knows rhat

>>40816911
that ain't me I posted this pic before nice try impersonating "anon"
im not getting fooled by moids after my past experiences again dude
same for trannies
always ends the same way fuck that

and for the rats lurking ready to whisper lies into certain ears: go and kill yourselves you subhuman snitches.

genuinely fuck people like that, especially the ones fabricating fake personalities

praise snew btw and inshallah Sophie shall get deported

>>40817129
>im not getting fooled by moids after my past experiences again dude
>same for trannies
why you repeat yourself

>>40817160
rat spotted
sanctified suicide got some guides for you

>>40817129
You're genuinely psychotic for posting in chasergen and then trying to gaslight people about it a minute later. Your faggy chasergen post even got immediately deleted at the same time as your posts in this thread got deleted. But I don't mind it too much because mono deserves getting cheated on and cucked cause he did the same to you.

>>40817129
https://archiveofsins.com/lgbt/search/image/0q1Ze590_64XStrRIhCWUA

huhhh

>>40817073
a shekel for a schmekel

>>40817266
I literally just looked at it and a ton of posts there are deleted
literally didn't post there
sldo nobody gives a shit I was cheated on, In fact nobody gives a shit about anything about me
anyone talking to me just wants to be glazed by me to stroke their ego while pretending to care and then they ghost/attack me if I talk about my issues
psychotic narcissism on crack it's fucking unreal

give me the actual ban hammer mods I'm done arguing with catfishes and manipulating psychos

>>40816873
i don't get to see mine...
custody stuff, interpersonal drama nobody here would really understand probably
>kids
only have the one daughter
every other kid ive taken care of isn't mine by direct relation
sometimes not even by blood
really I wish I could get a house and just share it with my family and we could all take care of each other
but things dont work out like that
we dont get a perfect world we just have to make due with the flawed one we got
anyhow it's rewarding work regardless of the who's who's and why

>>40817292
posted in private some time ago when hair was still that color
really limits who could have posted it tho thx for getting the nothing joggin

>>40817366
>I literally just looked at it and a ton of posts there are deleted
https://archiveofsins.com/lgbt/thread/40810204/#40816366

Lil bro still lying
your whiny blog posts ITT also got deleted with your chasergen posts looking for BWC

>pic
that's not the pic you posted in chasergen tho
fr fr

>>40817335
Isn't schmekel the name of the money in the world with the big stairs from Rick and morty

>>40817392
>IT WASN'T ME GUYS IT WAS.... IT WAS SOMEONE IN PRIVATE THAT I SEND THIS PICTURE TOO!
nick you got a track record of getting caught in chasergen looking for chaser cock not the first time not even mongo is gonna believe this pathetic attempt of deflection rip bozo

>>40817485
>>40817476
Who cares?

>>40817485
every tranny spams chasergen for attention blob

>>40817518
nta but speak for yourself, I don't

>>40817499
remove hayato's cock from the back of your throat for a second and think back to just a few days ago of you arguing with nicky boy about who is cheater and who isn't

>>40817538
They call it transbiangen now because it's filled with transbians that soak up attention and ghost when you try to get to know them.

>>40817292
You will never escape your master. Understand the grip I have around your soul, your body, your... everything.

>>40817539
Posting thirst trap in chasergen to get validation (you)s is normal af we all do it and shed have no reason to lie when it's so normal. This not interesting drama/b8 is all I'm saying

What does it mean if cis women think I'm cute and say I look 17 (when I'm 22) but also say I look tall (I'm 5'9")? Do I have luckshit genes or are they just hitting on me? I've only been on HRT for 2 months.

>>40817557
>when you try to get to know them.
are you a chaser

>>40817560
Hehe

>>40817567
they're being nice, could be for a few reasons, maybe it's out of pity because they think you don't measure up

>>40817564
>monogamous relationship with mongo bongo
>posts in chasergen that she is looking for a boyfriend and dick, asking if anyone is in the EU
>lies about it
oh sorry forgot you're a cheater too so this is normal for you

>mom's boyfriend of half a year broke up with her because she never changed her facebook relationship off of "single"
And boomoids call us snowflakes holy shit

>>40817598
Siphoning pathetic chaser attention isn't cheating heh

>>40817602
makes me wonder if my fetlife account still exists

>>40817614
Then you never got cheated on either! :3

>>40817642
Honestly, that's a pretty wise perspective hmm. Something to consider tho ig in private is more meaningful and cheaty to me? Hard to remember the feelings at the time

I streamed movies with some friends today c:
Good day

>>40817595
But they do it without me fishing for compliments.

>>40817664
pity then

>>40817657
What movies?

>>40817702
A bootleg recording of Book of Mormon, Gehenna: Where Death Lives, and another movie I forget the name of

>>40817560
the nose always gets me. every time

>>40817722
have you seen Friday?

>>40817678
I don't think so lol

>>40817917
you have much to learn about how women do social interactions

>>40817937
Thank god tranniez are autistic failed men wearing girl clothes and not women

>>40817958
don't crash out sweetie

>>40817937
then why have multiple girls told me I'm cute and I look young

>>40817917
it's a funny movie but sort of scary

>>40818105
consolation
>2 months hrt
are you out to them

>>40818179
no they're literally just random women I've met once or twice. One of them seemed genuinely surprised when I told her I was in college.

video games....suck

>>40818314
have you played forza with a ffb wheel?

>>40818325
nope not into racing games

>>40818314
Play fantasy life 2 the girl who stole time

>>40817598
bitch you are so fucking clueless lmao

now kill yourself

>>40817722
you too btw
pls record and sent me the clip of ur fent zombie "mom" getting deported and her so1bf arrested for buying dope

there's something wrong with me but i'm not sure what yet, need help but don't know where to get it, need a job, but don't have any skills, i'm lonely and touch-starved but i'm too mentally ill for someone to love me
kms feels inevitable

>>40817883
No, what’s that about? Right now am watching this really weird Chinese movie about like there’s like a bandit guy who is betrayed and then ends up amnesiac and he becomes a monk and like also there’s stuff with a monastery and his old bandit gang and they’re trying to steal the great seal of China
It’s
Really trippy and confusing

>>40818490
same desu
Ive been trying to figure out what household items could provide the quickest and most painless way out but unsuccessful so far

pretty sure ur on a better situation , like not having ur future taken from you, so don't give up yet u likely will be fine

Why'd I have to be born in this shithole country...

oh god i had no idea i spend that much money wtf

>>40818605
>lyft, delivery food, subscriptions
no wonder you retarded millennials keep complaining about money

>>40818605
Bet it's mostly the delivery. I started just goin and picking up my food I don't cook myself and it's insanely cheaper. Also started using plex and pirating everything again. Fuck the corpos

>>40818605
nigga is using AI for financial advice LMAO

>>40818629

i hate millennials

>>40818645

it takes 2 seconds for it to read my statements

Damn avocado toast eating millennials

>>40818655
you needed ai to tell you that getting delivery is bleeding money?

>>40818682

yes. i also use it to see if my tiny white pecker is really small according to peer-reviewed sources

>>40818693
but you're not white

>>40818682

i didn't realize how much i was spending on delivery and lyft it's a hassle to tally all of it up also constructive criticism is helpful it's like if i sent my parents my statements

>>40818523
what happens if they get the seal?

>>40818671
Paste eating Welsh zoomers

>>40818721
Oh it just finished

Well they wanted to sell it for money ig
The chief mc guy got ahold of it but then the old monk died and encouraged him to become a real monk during that and so the chief mc guy then felt bad and then his ex gang in cahoots with the British kidnapped a local village and tried to ransom them for the seal but then the two remaining monks and the mc guy fight them and then an army of warrior monks from elsewhere deus ex machina the ending and then the mc guy throws the seal into the sea so that people stop fighting over it
And then takes a bunch of religious vows

do you trannies like my artwork pls respond I feel so lonely

>>40818746
sort of like lotr

>>40818750
are you ok?

>>40818711
lil nigga. its kinda common knowledge that delivery services and lyft are kinda pricey. subscriptions? idk what that’s for but you do a lot of tech gizmo autismo shit which is kinda pricey in its own right

>>40818762
no not really but I don't think I have ever been ok
on paper things are going great and that's the most I can hope for I guess

>>40818750
You’re honestly getting better. Keep drawing. Once you git gud enough, maybe you’ll finally get over your ex best friend and stop being a mentally ill retard

>>40818793
fingers crossed! and thanks!

>>40818758
But Chinese ig

>>40818216
yes and
do they also say you have nice hair?

While I was injecting into my thigh I started getting pain in my lower leg. Did I hit a nerve or something? I obviously stopped and picked another site which didn't cause any pain, but now I'm worried that I hit something or was accidentally injecting air into a vein.

>>40819084
you’re going to fucking die

>>40818808
yeah you're definitely improving.

>>40818711
I mean owning a car is probably more expensive unless you need to drive 5+ days a week. And delivery kinda evens out because nowadays it's more expensive to buy ingredients and spend hours cooking and cleaning

>>40818750
Is that fucking Negan lmao

https://youtu.be/EvkcJ1k5rT0
One of these types of nights, I wish tomorrow would never come

I know a trans women from Florida who is Cuban and her family owns a mansion that is being seized from the state because her uncle is a drug lord.

so you're saying there's gonna be a vacant mansion in florida soon

>>40819613
lol I didn't know who that was, no it's not but I see the resemblance

>>40819687
maybe it's an archetype

if i post my post-ffs face even navy would chase me desu

i'll never be able to afford ffs and that's ok

>>40820680
u scared me nigga stop posting that shit

I need advice I've wanted to transition for for almost 5 years at this point when I started being real with myself. I'm around 6'6 with a feminine build/hips and boyish facial features and have been called pretty before and I didn't even start growing little facial hair until 24 I'm 25 now. My main concern is not being able to voice train because trachea damage that I'm still trying to get looked at. Is it worth it to still try and transition or do I just cope and live vicariously through a tgirlfriend

>>40820822
>6'6
>thinking anything is feminine
lol, lmao even

>>40820920
underweight twink would get mistaken for a girl in pfps with my face no filters, jealously is a disease get well soon

>>40820979
I wish I was 6' 6". Not trans but I think it would be neat to tower over people like that.

>>40820979
pictures do not accurately reflect how giant you are

good night everyone, I think I'm finally done with this shithole

>>40818968
my mom did

>>40820979
My guy, my dude, you are a fucking 6'6 ogre. There's not a single piece about you that is feminine. Simple as.

>>40821203
>my guy my dude
rather be an ogre than a bandkid

if you're gonna be massive, at least be funny

wish I had motivation to finish even one of the dozens of unfinished and unplayed games

>>40821264
It's funnier knowing you're not even a passoid

ayo we got a 6 foot 6 nigga in this bitch acting like they can pass if they trooned? i'm weakkkkkk bruh i'm WEAKKKKKK

>>40820822
nobody is going to be able to live your life, and you can't live yours through someone else
the fact someone else might be more feminine isn't going to put you at ease
I'm not saying things won't be difficult, but if you're sure, then what choice do you really have?

>>40810204 (OP)
So apparently some trannies online are upset that people who are in the closet IRL but very much openly trans online are stealing valor or some shit.

That's honestly really dumb because there are so many people who are trans but not obviously so. Like, obviously the stealthoids. Boymoders who look like women count for this too. And the closeted manmoders, do their experiences not matter?

It just seems like such an asshole thing to say. Like the only trannies who matter are the honmoders

I can play tic tac to on my arms rn

>>40821713
I guess, but reductionism and equivalency of lived experience isn't nice either
try reconciling it while not being horrible towards one group or the other

>be me, closeted boymoder
>meet someone, introduce myself with male name
>they know I'm LGBT right away and ask me about pronouns
Fuck

im still wearing the bra

>be me
>go pee
>piss is a masculine shade of yellow
FUCK

>>40821953
Bro yellow is a girl's color. Are you a girl or something

>>40821953
at least it's not red, right?

>>40822009
You think my yellow pee is girly?

>>40822021
Yeah, that'd be scary... Then I'd really be manly...

>>40822030
have to get the balance just right, just enough hydration and kidney disease to make it light pink

こんにちは
I awaken

damn it
if that had posted just one second later...

>>40822221
My condolences

How come trannies are never cute or attractive like cis girls?

>>40822793
cause we ain't real girls dawg it's not that complicated

Making soup again :D

>>40822809
But even in terms of personality, you can at least act like real chicks even if you don't look like them

>>40822993
*fart and poop on you*

>>40822062
Whatever happened to the pissing blood anon?

>>40823528
whoever hasn't leaked a lil blood hasn't lived tbqh

>>40823548
Pedro stfu

>>40823566
sounds like early onset dementia is taking hold

oh, oh
I'm jonesin'
for a bonin'
yea yea
give me a knife cuz I'm a ronin

>>40810204 (OP)
funger funger funger

>>40824132
Go watch some sissy hypnos or something. Freak.
You aren't an anime girl.

>>40824164
i prefer a recommendation for a painless method of suicide

>>40824424
dying in the arms of your beloved

>>40822870
what kind? I might make some today if I feel better

McDonald's or innout?

i’m so fucking hungry. me and my gf haven’t eaten much in a month bc she doesn’t get paid until the end of the month. im loosing my curves, sisters. its never been so over…

>>40824488
both are mid. I watched reviewbrah sip a blue and pink milkshake from McDonald's so get that

>>40824424
What would you do if you got raped and ended up getting boypreggers?

cis bi guy here

I would date a trans women, but they need to be super muscular. I want to be ridden into oblivion by their neovaginas in the same way cis female bodybuilders did to me.

>>40824433
>of your beloved ones
gone, like tears in rain...

>>40824508
ok I'll report back with my review

fard

nothing sorts me out like a fag and a diet coke. lush. looking cute today too and it's sunny. it's been a lovely day

Test

The waitress at the Indian place put her number on a card, so I'm guessing this means I'm getting even more handsome. Hru troonsexuals doin today? Good i hope :)

>>40825756
don't say it like that, it's gross ...
I'm doing well, still taking notes from le deuxieme sexe, hbu?

>>40825814
Sounds fancy, I as a simple country boy do not know what that is. Am doing well though, considering buying a small parcel of land by one of the local rivers so I can camp ansld kayak a bit easier.

>>40825859
ugh! surrounded by country bumpkins! nah it's just an old book by an old french lady in the 1940s
land sounds nice tho, you can have like animals on it and stuff, then get up early and watch them wake up

>>40825947
I might get enough for animals but I think at most I could have chickens. Definitely gonna plant some fruit trees though!

>>40825756
>Hru
i am doing good! i took the makeup stuff i learned and put it into practice today. i looked really good i think. i went to a bbq with some people i've known since i was a teenager. including an old friend who is now a mom. i spent most of the afternoon playing with her 4 year old. we played spider man and he couldn't remember my name so spent all day calling me 'her' which i thought was funny. then on the way home i stopped for a drink with two strangers i ran into which was weird but a lot of fun. it has been a lovely day

>>40825962
like a lemon tree for sure, maybe a goat or a rabbit
>>40825967
hey that's wonderful, are you going to see any of them again soon?

>>40826006
the strangers or my old friends?
well i just moved city to somewhere my old friends live. i have a weird relationship with them (in the way transition often leads to) so its been nice reconnecting. they seem to want to keep that going. im going to do karaoke with a couple of them, and they said they'd invite me to their regular board game night thing. so yeah!
if you meant the strangers they said i should go back to the bar i met them at to say hi sometime so maybe i will as i've not found my new haunt here yet

>>40826071
wow that sounds amazing anon, I'm happy for you, you've got a whole new life coming together
it sounds very exciting

>>40826188
aye its cool! not the first time this has happened this is now 'whole new life' for the third time h-aha
you get better at it each time tho and i have a nice apartment now so feeling more positive about this one :)

>>40826224
ahh yeh, sounds wonderful
I mostly just go from meh to meh, but it gets me around and where I need to be, y'know?

>>40825967
Sounds like a good one anon, I'm happy for you. Fingers crossed your days continue to be filled with fond memories
>>40826006
I was thinking like an apple tree, a pearl. A cherry and maybe one other. Will prob be like 1 acre at most

>>40826324
Pear*

>>40810204 (OP)
I want to be a woman but at the same time I realize im completely male socialized I dont act anything like a woman, I dont socialize like a woman, I dont have interests that women generally have, I dont know the first thing about being a woman. I wouldnt fit in socially at all even if by some miracle through HRT and surgery I "passed" I even doubt thats possible at the point I am in life.
Should I just put this to the furthest corner of my mind and forget about it? These feelings wax and wane right now theyre strong but sometimes I can forget about it. I have taken HRT in the past idk it made me calm inside but didnt fix how I felt if that makes sense.

its nice to read that others can still find happiness and move up in the world

makes it easier to leave the world to those that deserve it. its bittersweet but my world has lost its colors, i hope the next one will be prettier. maybe ill be a rainbow, just there for a moment but full of colors
that would be nice. people remember pretty rainbows.
happy for you all

>>40826495
Depression can be addicting ngl, but it's possible for anyone to get better, improve, find happiness, etc. You are not an exception i promise silly anon. If I could dig myself out of my misery anybody can

>>40826324
>>40826366
oh yeah, I guess you could eat apples and pears too, and pearls would make you p rich ngl
>>40826452
idk, nobody can really take responsibility for that except you, and it's like you also have to learn to accept things might not be perfect
everyone is different of course, but who can really say, and only you know what is acceptable
>>40826495
stooooop!! don't do it anon! don't give up! don't fall into a pit of darkness!! grit your teeth, struggle and push yourself up, don't give up! even with the taste of blood in your mouth you should never stop!
we were all going to fake it all until we make it remember? everybody was supposed to make it so don't give up, you have lived this long, you have to become the queen of lies and put on a smile and fight back the tears!
keep going and someday, don't know where, don't know when, but your struggles against fate will surely make you sparkle and shine bright and then you will be like rainbows too!
never give up until you can see that distant scenery of the promised future...

>>40826764
Dang that was some beautiful advice you gave to anon. Good on ya

>>40826764
But I could be worse off if I transition because I wont fit in as a woman, Im not socialized as one. I act more like Beavis and Butthead despite wanting to be a girl. I just hate feeling like im not being true to myself..
also theres not really a go back option, once you have boobs and stuff you kinda have em for good

4... 8... 15... 16... 23... 42...

The isolation that attends the duties associated with Station 3 may tempt you to try and utilize the computer for communication with the outside world. This is strictly forbidden. Attempting to use the computer in this manner will compromise the integrity of the project and worse, could lead to another incident. I repeat, do not use the computer for anything other than entering the code.

>>40826764
i tried nona but i was not made for this world, its people
i don't belong here and im tired, tired of this tug of war between the search for a little happiness and the overwhelming force of dread and loneliness
sometimes you cant win, you got to let go
and hope things will be different on the other side

I hate when I'm concentrating on something and there's sudden bursts of noise and my concentration dies T_T

>>40827042
what were you concentrating on carolfren
>>40826324
ty! i hope so too
>>40826314
icic, well i hope you find the next step is meh to nice! sorry random one but is this mariemoder?

they keep it so unbelievably cold at work it’s horrible and i can’t wear a sweatshirt or ill look like a weirdo if i do anything after work because its like 100f outside


lol i cant this janitor is banning me over and over again because i posted a screenshot of a 2 year old ban on my mobile network that wasn’t even meant for me. ive literally been doing that for like a decade now. and what’s really crazy is that he does all of this for free!

>>40827693
>for free
a full time employee of the fbi i wouldn't exactly call it free labor

>pic
Obviously you do. This isn't even "humble" bragging, just outright bragging. Fuck off.

Postpaid cell service is such a scam

>>40826845
Nobody here has been "socialized as a girl".

hey does anyone have experience with corset trainers? im looking to get into rib binding so if anyone has any advice (like, is it worth buying name brands or will aliexpress ones work) it would be greatly appreciated.

>>40828867
you should buy name brand for the material. cheap ones make you break out. might as well give yourself costochondritis in style

wonder as a cispooner detroon if I will ever be transvestigated and people think ima female

>>40829632
Half of these words cease to exist when you unplug the internet

>>40829720
ur too realitypilled should be more doomer hikki neet goblinmoder

is it possible to fuck your cptsd away

i want to build a 90s gaming pc

>>40828867
Need real steel boned one specifically for waist training but they do work

>>40830069
you can still do it

>>40830069
agp

>doomer hikki neet goblinmoder
you called?

>>40830090

everyone cares about arbitrage these days when i was a kid i could go to the recycling center or the flea market and find pentium 2/pentium 3 era parts for practically free as well as crts. i had like 10 pentium 4 optiplexes, apparently even those are now in vogue... now it costs just as much to build a new pc as it does to build a vintage one. is it really worth it? not really imo.

>>40830098

isa

>>40830089
what brand?

awhile ago I posted about my mom dying in the hospital from substance abuse issues. despite the doctor's saying it was over she survived. she's not ok at all but she's alive. idk why im even coming here to say this nobody cares but I guess im happy she survived it and wanted to tell someone

>>40830404
What Katie did

This is a satire post @ law 3nforcement. Just me being silly. I am just pretending.

after some trial and practice i think i got it right now.

fuck the tranny curse, the loneliness, the abuse PTSD, the abandonment.

s@nctified su1cide ligature strangulation

im out, unknown tranny nobody will miss signing out.
Apologies to the Hotel staff tomorrow.

>>40830661
Wouldnt you rather like talk about it with someone? I can be an ear for you anon.. I know I'm basically the most hated person here but I promise I'd listen.

How should one dose enanthate to maximize estrogen but minimize boobs? I think 5mg/week is too much

>>40830740
>maximize estrogen
>minimize boobs
pick one

>>40830661
i hope you changed your mind

I have detransitioned and it feels better than failing as a hon, but I still feel like I absolutely wish I was a woman. But feeling better about myself going around acting and presenting fully masculine again makes me wonder if I was never actually trans to begin with.

>>40832227
ur a full whole serving size nigga then. why u here lil bro?

>>40832356
Most of my adult life was spent as a transwoman but now that it's over with, I have no idea who I belong with or where to go, so I kinda just defaulted to posting here while bored. I guess it's not really my place now. I dunno, anon

>>40832227
never detransition

>>40832385
It feels like a weight lifted off my shoulders, though. I no longer hate myself and my appearance, even though I still am not happy with it. There's no more staring in the mirror in horror at how bad I look, now it's just a distant dislike that I accept. There's no more anxiety whenever I go out, I can laugh again with strangers that make conversation with me every now and then without feeling like I'm about to have a panic attack. I don't know anyone that's felt like this and it doesn't seem normal to feel this good to detransition. Most people get more depressed, right? I'm doing better, I just don't know why. I clearly still have the woman habit of talking about myself too much though.

>>40832227
Same, we are the truest of moders now.

>>40832413
I have not done my injections for a week and I already hate how I look so much more - but then again... boobs...

>>40832427
I didn't get any of those even on injections. HRT did almost nothing after 5 years even though my levels were always good. I never once felt any euphoria or whatever. It's been like a year since I've taken HRT. I'm covered in hair. It just doesn't bother me much anymore. It just felt like I can't polish a turd, that there was no possibility to feel good about my appearance or presentation as a whole being built the way I am. There was no outfit or makeup that made me feel good, even passing in public didn't feel good. There was just no point.

Why do you not want boobs?

>>40832418
I'm sorry you didn't make it.

>>40832413
is this what having a weight lifted off your shoulders looks like at 3am on a weekday?

>>40832465
Compared to what I was like before, hell yes. I was ready to kill myself most days of the week, and now I don't even humor it.

>>40832413
>I clearly still have the woman habit of talking about myself too much though.
No dude. Thats not a women thing. You’re either a self-absorbed drone who yaps non-stop or an autist who talks too much. You were never trutrans who have an indestructible delusion that they’re women. You’re just a dude who faced the truth and accepted the responsibility of having to live with your original inherent features. Congratulations

>>40832427
>>40832418
>>40832490
>>40832488
take the medicine and stop being retarded

>tfw voice giga-passoid that people fawn over when they know me over discord voice chat even though I'm shy and don't talk much, I trained my voice really well
>tfw body semi-passoid but ruined by chronic health issue that's making it impossible to gain weight
>tfw bridge troll ogre goblin faced gigahon with bone structure that could be fixed by FFS if not poor as fuck but horrible skin despite doing everything right and currently having clear skin
Why did my parents do this to me

>>40832527
It's a test from god

>>40832527
why are you blaming everyone else for your problems? you estrogenized failed males always do this. im not surprised that homosexual low test males like you seek escapism via tranistion rather than facing the music

>>40832557
I'd be ugly as a man or a woman. I'm too short and too feminine framed to be successful as a man and my ugly face doesn't help either. Taking hormones at least stopped the acne and hair thinning which is an improvement. At least I can go out in boymode and not feel like I wish I would die literally on the spot. The way I'm treated by other people significantly improved after I was on hormones and just reinforced my belief in lookism. The most important thing in this world other than money is being beautiful and the two can go hand in hand. Being beautiful leads to getting money, and having money can lead to being more beautiful. I have neither.

>>40832548
Why

>>40832575
you’re just another incel moid who fell into the incel-tranny pipeline. nice. just what this shitty board needs

>>40832575
Who knows the mind of god?

>>40832413
i think you are not describing something positive so much as the absence of something negative but you know that. like this is not a 'good' situation for you, so much as its just a relief from the stuff you were struggling with as a trans women. which from what you gather seems to have been poor self image, anxiety, fear, stress. all very understandable and relatable. but also all things that can, with persistence and effort, be worked through. i suppose with that in mind this to me comes across as picking easy relief over the long term, difficult work of building self esteem and resilience. and i wonder if repression (because you are a repper now) will eventually feel painful once the relief from your suffering wears off and it becomes mundane.

i worry for you anon because if that happens you'll have ended up cooking on T more and so the self acceptance and such will be a lot harder should you retrans

>>40832575
are you an actual transmaxxer then
weird

>>40832649
you sound like a delusional man on estrogen. most guys who detransition tend to hate it. I know most of you trannies hate detransitioners because the concept of detransitioning invalidates your delusions. sorry but the world isn’t black and white

>>40832610
No I'm not bitch, I've wanted to be a girl since I was literally single digit age and couldn't understand why I felt that way. I literally would try to change my voice even back then to sound more girly and cute. Everyone thought I would be pretty when I was little too but they were fucking wrong.

>Everyone thought I would be pretty when I was little
um wat

>>40832686
despite everything you said before, you start backtracking the moment you’re caught red handed. its over, lil bro. now, we know you’re a short incel loser moid who fell for the pinkpill. just confront the truth and accept it

>>40832714
That shit pink pill red pill black pill shit didn't even exist when I first started transitioning and taking HRT, but go off being retarded if it helps you feel better.

>>40832696
They said how beautiful I was and would be and so on. Shit like that. How all the nurses wanted to hold me when I was a baby because I had a full head of blonde hair and big blue eyes.

>>40832666
>it would be a shame for you if you repress and john 50
yeah such a weird delusional thing to think.

you are clearly also a repper or some other form of tranny who was not brave enough to get over herself and do what needed to be done. you are content with feeling miserable and taking it out on trans girls who made it. pathetic and i look down on you. every day you look a bit more like your dad

>>40832636
Well I wish God would let me be happy at least for some of my life because I don't know how much more suffering I can take. Like I feel like I need a miracle at this point.

>>40832725
>OOOOO IF YOU GIVE UP YOULL JOHN 50 OOOOOO
yup, thats typical black and white autistic thinking. ever thought that transitioning isn’t simply for everyone? not surprised that line of thinking surprised you because you’re an autistic man pretending to be a girl

>>40832747
how long did you last before you detransed anon? does it hurt?
>ever thought that transitioning isn’t simply for everyone?
yeah i know. its not for those too weak or cowardly to go all in. some of us are less pathetic and make it. couldn't be you i guess. sad!

the funniest thing is its not even that hard it just takes time and persistence. it really is telling on yourself to be like this anon >>40832764. shows how weak of character you are. i can be sympathetic to those who find it too hard but keep it to themselves. but god imagine being like this guy. imagine aging into looking like your father because you were too scared to do your eyebrows lmaooooo
>i feel bad doing girly stuff :(
weak willed

>>40832764
>he resorts to sarcasm for being called out on his autistic male thinking
>he doesn’t try to disprove my point either
LOLLLLLLLLL

>>40832789
im not being sarcastic, im saying very genuinely you were never going to make it because you are worse than me. see >>40832773

>>40826803
nah I kinda suck tbqh
>>40826845
I guess... I never had much choice, I'm like the vampire lestat something about a choice I never had tbqh
>>40826972
please don't say that anon, I will not know how to find you in the next life to make sure ur ok, I am not good at that sort of detective work, so it's gotta be this life that we can talk to each other don't ever give up
>>40830661
nooooo anon please don't stop posting! we will never become friends this way, please don't ruin our friendship... I am praying so much rn please funpost tomorrow or today ig
>>40830740
iunno, you get them after a few weeks, but maybe that was due to the immune condition...
>>40832227
>>40832413
wow what a story!
>>40832725
>>40832747
I support everybody, everyone can identify as any age they like, I'm like 56 tbqh

>>40832867
are you cute?

>>40832898
of course not, I'm very old

>>40832903
wait you're not mariemoder?

>>40832867
hey kirakishou . how do you feel about the feeling that you get inside of government institutions and bureaucratic buildings. do you think it's a different kind of feeling from the standard corporation. for me there is always a visible difference. also can you post your phone number? i want to sign you up for one of my favorite message hotlines so that you can call and check it out, but they're closed for public calls and you have to register. after you post it i'll add you on there and then you can call. (270) 301-5797

>>40832909
iunno what that means anonypie ~<3

mannnnnnnn i had chipotle for dinner and it was pretty yummy going down but i am absolutely paying the price for it rn. been on leak mode, bussy straight brown pissing for the past 1-2 hours many trips god damnit

>>40810204 (OP)
a lazy goddess that does nothing but watch anime and play video games

>>40832968
oh! sorry. i am the anon who moved city and was talking to you about makeup. i thought you were another trip called marie but im not sure why. i think for a small while she had a trip that starts with a k and i got confused lol. are you actually that old? how long have you been transitioning nona?

>>40832967
what! I don't really know about working the phones...
I find that I am quite suited to institution life, such as for example analysis and unspecified diplomatic duties
>>40833036
aww anon I am glad you have a lovely dinner, but sorry that other stuff happened to you...
>>40833050
oh, yes, it's all quite confusing, we are all shades and figments of identifies that coalesce for but a moment and then fade away...
I am quite old I find, and my biological age is thru the roof, and my tissue can age ten times as fast as normal!!! how cool is that?!
I was built for perma old age!

hip and lower back pain never going away just kill meeeee

talking to my grandmother in her 90s on the app, then someone she knows looks over her shoulder says hi and says I'm beautiful...

>>40833362
Shoulda whipped ur pp out and asked how fem it looked

>>40833397
but how? besides I was raised catholic so I am repulsed by your humor, hmmph!!

>>40833418
yeh u don't pass hon

>>40833443
aww if u say so, hru anon?

>>40833449
Jesus & God both hate you for the mockery you've become.

おはよう :D

>>40833519
aw no they don't, they're pretty nice dw we're cool
I've got pews upon pews of franciscan monks praying for my success and health
by the power of infinite poverty and prayer, infinite compassion and humility, infinite peace and forgiveness, I literally cannot fail or falter
on the day of my judgement I've got a nice spot reserved with the philosophers and we'll all have some tea
tee hee hee~!

>>40833632
wait a second... it's not morning for you!

>>40833675
yeah but I'm just getting up
so its basically morning

>>40833681
oh carol... in three and a half weeks you will be back to normal at least...

>>40833725
why 3 and 1/2? :o

>>40833733
I have calculated it, if you keep getting up a lil later eventually you will loop back around... I am a genius...

Farts smell extra good today yay :)

>>40833048
ciel looks like that now??

i have decided to claim my birthright and chavmax

one of those days where i miss being able to jack off and cum

does anyone have this meme of a propoganda poster where bayonet-fixed kalashnikov's are stabbing parachutes which represent psy-ops?
was posted ages ago and can't find it in archives :/

>>40834732
yeah i got it

>>40834652
I woke up with an erection, again

Do you have good bussy?

ok this time with soup making
I think the tofu hasnt broken up yaaay

>>40834981
horaayyyyy
did you try the firmer one? :)

>>40835192
I put the tofu in at the end instead of at the start
tho I kinda wish Id done the frying it thing..

>>40835212
ah! yes this is very important especially with softer tofu. braising it is good yeah, you can get the edge rly crispy. and when its crispy like that it soaks up liquid rly well, which is nice for soup

Why are trans "girls" so bad at cooking? Arent women meant to know how to cook?

>>40835422
im a great cook tyvm. i'd give your mum a run for her money

>>40835422
I'm not that bad at it T_T

>>40835658
you're literally learning and for your age cook way better than most, cis girls included. so don't worry

>>40835784
Most cis girls I've met enjoy cooking and have already learnt how to by the time they're adults

>>40835801
and carol knows how to cook and enjoys it too? like shes improving just as anyone does with any skill through their entire lives. pipe down you donkey you're making a fool of yourself

>>40835784
How old is carol?

it's official I've wasted 25 years of my life to the day :')
wut do i do now frens?

Hey gals! Just came home from spending a few wonderful days in the Netherlands with Mono and Kat. Things are much better in person than boring internet drama would make you think.

My favorite memory happened on the second day when Mono invited me into the living room.
She sat naked on the couch, stroking her erect cock. Next to her sat Kat, trying to hide her penis, but I could see she had a powerful boner.

"Come, join us. We are gooning our lesbian woman clitties."

She didn't have to tell me twice. I sat down and so the three of us started stroking our dicks.

>>40835422
maybe I suck completely idk
but my christmas dinner went well enough last year my families trusting me with it again this year
feels like a good sign as far as anything can be

>>40836784
I thought they're German

how do u girls farm attention on twitter

>>40837084
meds

Naz go raise your kid. Stop being a deadbeat dad

>>40836744
Happy birthday Naz!! You can now listen to this song!! https://youtube.com/watch?v=6vJsyCmvQAI

>>40837771
thank you anon :>
gud tunes, it's been a nice day today
finishing the owl house then I'll probably watch even more cartoons
wud go out if I could but not a bad settle desu
it's comfy