Thread 40925000

Sad gay man here, please tell me about your boyfriends, what you love about them

I have been alone for most of my life, I’m a total loser. I dated a guy for around 3 months, he made me feel so safe. Every insecurity I had he comforted me on, he made me feel special. Hearing him call me his perfect boyfriend felt like I was finally healing after an entire life filled with self hate. One day he just left, vanished, no good bye. I found out a month later he moved away. He unblocked me on instagram a while later but didn’t reach out, when I finally noticed i was unblocked I saw he lived in a different state now with a new boyfriend. He looked so happy and his new man was gorgeous. It hurt a lot to see that.

I’m asking you to tell me about your significant others because I just want to be assured that love exists. That there will be a day when I can wake up and not look in the mirror and think “there is nothing here for anyone” thank you in advance anons, I hope nothing but the best for you and your partner

>>40925000 (OP)
bi mtf
i dated him in the beginning months of our transition. he called me his boyfriend through the entirety of it. he also routinely lost it on me and according to my therapist emotionally abused me. after breaking up with him he stalked me for two months. so yeah

>>40925000 (OP)
>>40925000 (OP)
gay man here

My boyfriend is a lot shorter than me. He has beautiful blonde curls,dark blue eyes and a goregeus smile.

We met on tinder and our first date was more like a hookup than anything else. At first I didn't even like him that much. I only liked the way he looked. We are very different people and back then I didn't know how relationships or love or any of that would or should work like. I thought, in order for me love someone and in order for anything to last for longer than a year we had to be very similar in pretty much everything. But we weren't and still aren't. I think a lot about all sorts of stuff - he doesn't so I tried to force convos about "deep" topics. I used to be very depressed and miserable at the sight of global issues and I wanted him to be as depressed. I tried turning him into what I thought I should love. I failed. We kept meeting nonetheless and I thought about breaking up with him a number of times because I just couldn't see this working. At the time I was 19 and he was like 18. It was both my and his first real relationship. Imagine a chud and a normie trying to be together.

I don't know what happened. I don't know what he did to me, but after like 1,5-2yrs of being together I felt feelings for him that I would describe as love. I gave up trying to change him. I fell in love with the HIM, not his body. I love so much about him. He's so goofy and not as shallow as I thought. We don't have much in common but we don't need to. I'm just happy to have him around. He's suprisingly witty and at tries to comfort me when I feel down. He forgives my quirks and annoying habits. I don't need him to be anything else than what he is.

I don't know if I'm just massivly coping but at this point I can't imagine myself to be with someone else.

>>40926007
>I used to be very depressed and miserable at the sight of global issues and I wanted him to be as depressed. I tried turning him into what I thought I should love. I failed
based bf uncucking your mind

>>40926007
OP here! very happy to hear this I hope I can one day fall in love like you have, its hard though after that first 3-month relationship I feel like my guard is always up and when I lower it its not gonna be pretty, I’m not very emotive nor do I have a creative outlet so my emotions stay bottled and I’ll probably cry like a baby the next time I let someone in

>>40925506
OP here, I am glad you got out of that toxic I wish you nothing but the best, and may that kind of abuse never fall on you again!!!

>>40926182
it probably will

>>40926113
he didn't even say or do anything specific. he just didn't respond or responded shallowly. It just didn't allow me to keep talking about stuff so I eventually just stopped thinking about it and adopted his rather defeatist or nihilistic additude.

>>40926171
I understand. Your situation sounds horrible and I would've felt the same seing him being so happy with someone new when he didn't even say goodbye to me.
Why don't you look for a diffrent outlet for your emotions? A lot of people turn to sports

>>40926997
since the breakup I’ve worked out constantly, one of my insecurities was my weight but he made me feel safe and that I didn’t need to worry about him seeing me as beautiful. The issue is working out makes me feel kind of mechanic, like a robot, I don’t really feel enjoyment from it even though my friends always tell me about the endorphin release. I would love to express myself through fashion or drawing but I live in a pretty conservative area and my family whom I live with is more business and technology oriented so they look down on the arts or any expression of one’s self, but being a debbie downer won’t get me anywhere so all I can do is work out and focus on college or maybe just drop out and get a big boy job and save up scratch to gtfo

very happy for you and your bf though its very inspiring

This is my pooner BF. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

My pooner BF is my best friend. It is my life. I must love him it as I must love my life.

Without me, my pooner BF is useless. Without my pooner BF, I am useless. I must kiss my BF true. I must hug him straighter than my enemy who is trying to steal him. I must hug him before he hugs him.

My pooner BF and I know that what counts in love is not the days we fuck, the laughs of our jokes, nor the kisses we make. We know that it is the intention that count.

My pooner BF is human, even as I [am human], because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its body, its clothes, its passions and its thoughts. I will ever guard it against the ravages of weather and damage as I will ever guard my legs, my arms, my eyes and my heart against damage. I will keep my pooner BF loved and happy. We will become part of each other.

Before God, I swear this creed. My pooner BF and I are the defenders of our love. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life.

So be it, until love is thriving and there is no enemy, but peace!

>>40925000 (OP)
sorry that happened op. true love will find you