Thread 40925843

My trans gf has only been on hormones for a few months. We met online and she basically catfished me with a picture of when she was younger (if it was even her) all done up. She sent a real picture and she just looked like an average guy. I stayed cause I didn't want her to an hero. I met her for the first time in person and she looked as she did in the real picture, but her smiling face triggers a flight response in me I can't overcome. I feel sick and stressed out, like I'm with a serial killer. She is perfectly fine with makeup on, but when she doesn't have it on, the gut wretch happens immediately. I am hoping it gets better over time and with her changes, but I don't know how to deal with it right now, is there anything I can do? Should I tell her this? I don't want to hurt her unecessarly.

Pic not her

do you have reason to believe she really would an hero without you? i can understand feeling a moral obligation to stay but she has to understand that having catfished you you had no idea what you were really getting into, and on top of that, i'm sure it's not at all uncommon for people to discover they aren't as compatible as anticipated when they meet in person for the first time.
i think you should tell her that you just aren't feeling the attraction you thought you would anymore. that you're sorry and you care about her (it sounds like you're do) and you don't think it's going to work and that you think it would be unfair to the both of you to continue a relationship which is doomed to fail eventually. it doesn't have to be any more complicated than that.

t. ranner

>>40925843 (OP)
>I feel sick and stressed out, like I'm with a serial killer.
not ideal for a long term relationship i'll be honest.

>>40925843 (OP)
life lesson advice i've learned is a relationship can not start off with a lie, the very reason you met is because of a false perception of who you were talking to, there is no foundation if it was set upon lies, it won't last

>>40925843 (OP)
It seems pretty clear that you just aren't in love with her. I know when I met my online trans gf irl for the first time it was love at first sight all over again and I was stunned by her beauty and charm. If that's not the case for you, then you're better off being honest that your feelings aren't true.

>>40925891
She's talked about killing herself and how I saved her from really dark times and how much my presence brightens her day, how I'm the only one that cares about her, etc. I've tried to pull her up where I can, pushed her to make friends, go out and do things with them, drop bad habits, etc. I do really care about her, I want her to find happiness.
She knows I'm not physically attracted to her as is, I've told her as much very gently, and said she'd do anything she could to make herself attractive for me, which would be fine if I didn't have a flight response with her as is. Do you think it's not likely to change? She said hormones will change her face a bit and if it still doesn't work she'd do surgery, I just don't know if it's going to change the gut response from me.

>>40925843 (OP)
Breaking up with her
Upsides:
>I won't be lonely all the time like I was before
>She won't an hero
>She will be happy, which makes me happy
>the flight response might fade as time goes on and her face changes
>She is getting better with makeup such that she can keep her face in an attractive state for most of the time (hopefully)
Downsides:
>I will continue to have a flight response when I see her without makeup, which she usually is without for likely a long time to come
>I will be lonely again
>prolonging the potentially inevitable may make things worse
>she may leak my nudes
>she may an hero

>>40926045
ur gaslighting urself into staying with her & your relationship isnt like a gold mine like u dont even trust her with not leaking nudes which is like,,, such a basic requirement?

u started seeing her because of a false premise & now ur staying because something "might" happen in the gloomy hope that hrt, a drug that takes a very long time to act or surgeries, which take a long time to access, will fix your perception of her.

u wont be happy & she will notice & she wont be happy about that either. staying with her & then inevitably dropping the bombshell that u found her ugly this entire time when ur inevitably frustrated or drunk is going to hurt her far more than breaking it off now & just staying friends. that way u both still wont be lonely all the time because as u said u do think shes a genuinely nice person.

I just dont see this working out for either of you at all & staying in an unhappy relationship will mess you both up significantly.

brutal, i know exactly what you mean as well, like when they smile and the whole facade falls away and you can see the man behind all the artifice.

>>40926117
She is happy, she tells me how happy I make her. As long is it remains online, the happiness remains, but in person it is evident. I couldn't hide my discomfort when we met, but I still hugged her and cuddled with her, and that felt fine as long as I couldn't see her face.
She knows I'm unhappy with her appearance, just not quite as badly as it is.

>>40925843 (OP)
You're a self-centered asshole and your savior complex got in the way of common sense. Break up and maybe go find a cis woman you goober

>>40926152
If it was just a man that'd be one thing, but it's super creepy for some reason, I don't know why. She isn't even ugly for a guy, but her smile just triggers something in me that tells me to run. Maybe it's because I care for her? That I have a view of her in my head and it just doesn't match that at all? I don't know.

>>40926186
bro if i was her i would rope or detransition or both.

wtf do you mean you couldnt hide your unhappiness with her appearance, she needs to get away from you before you hurt her even worse than you have already

>>40926203
I don't think you see this person as a human and certainly not as your equal. You need to take a break for a couple years before you date again. Fix your shit.

>>40926204
its her fault for putting him in this situation in the first place, if she hadnt catfished he wouldnt be unhappy or facing this dilemma

but yes, please please please anon just break it off like i said
>>40926117
nothing good will come of this for either of you

Thanks for the advice, everyone. I'll talk with her about it. See what she thinks. I hate hurting her, makes me want to curl up in a ball and die, but it's for the best, I guess.

>>40925843 (OP)
this is why i can't ever date trannies as a tranny. 99% of them just look like men no matter how much they try or how "luckshit" they are. especially if they started hrt when they weren't teenagers anymore.

not saying im so much better either, but just my opinion.

>>40925843 (OP)
Just fucking love her and tell her she's pretty and she will want more and go above and beyond to stay pretty.

>>40926307
Its so over

>>40925843 (OP)
cant believe what I'm readingy

you got catfished bro. let her blow you once for validation, unless you feel its rape of course, then ghost the fucker.

tldr you got catfished and GET OUT OF THERE

>>40925843 (OP)
Like how bad was the deception was she much much younger in the first picture.

This tranny - I've seen pictures of his young boy face and she was super cute as a boy, not so much no after years on hormones. still cute, but much more neanderthal in proportions.

>>40925980
She's blackmailing you.
Just by saying "you saved me from a hero" she's saying "stay or I a hero". That's sick

>>40926440
She didn't specify the number of years, said she wasn't sure. It was a huge night and day, though, like a cute trans girl into a straight-up man, body and face. A twink, but a man.

>>40926462
Yeah but I believe her and I realpy realpy don't want that.

RUN NIGGA RUN SHE CATFISHED YOU IF SHE LOOKS LIKE A MAN THEN SHE'S A MAN!!!

>>40925843 (OP)
Why would you date a hon who’s only been on hormones for a few months? Stupid ass. 5 years on hormones AT LEAST. You are with A MAN

>>40925843 (OP)
>but her smiling face triggers a flight response in me I can't overcome. I feel sick and stressed out, like I'm with a serial killer.
some chasers actually prefer that kinda of clockiness.
let her find such a one.
even Vieo says he gets hit on by guys and he is straight out a hairy dude lmfao.

men are supposed to look manly when we smile. we smile at girls - that's when we are trying to impress women, and evolution takes care of the the rest. Your response is not surprising. Trannies don't understand how manly smiling makes them look

>>40926880
WHAT KIND OF CHASER WOULD WANT THIS

>>40926544
It's her choice if she a heroes.
It's not your responsibility.
Or put a paper bag on her face

>>40928350
He says men sexually harrass him, because his skin is so soft now.

That sounds pretty familiar, though not as drastic. I guess that sort of thing is typical

>>40925843 (OP)
>but her smiling face triggers a flight response in me I can't overcome.
IT is ogre. O-V-A-H: ogre.

>>40926217
>Fix your shit
Yes, truly OP is a monster who needs to do soul-searching. Not the noble, catfishing liar.

>>40925843 (OP)
Anon real talk, this is like buying bitcoin early. If you stick it out, stonks.
The smile, if she starts to learn to smile by lifting her cheek muscles rather than widening her mouth muscles (lots of autistics do this) then she'll immeriate look cuter. With enough laser, HRT, maybe some FFS down the line, she'll probably be really cute! Anyway if you can't handle the gay vibes for a couple of years, then a much luckier chaser than you will likely lap her up.
>She's talked about killing herself and how I saved her from really dark times and how much my presence brightens her day, how I'm the only one that cares about her, etc.
This however. Probably not gonna fix itself any time soon. If she's still that deep in ideation and stuff she's gonna be years away from any kind of meaningful recovery. If you had the life experience and you're solid as a rock, there's a slim chance you could fix her. But probably what's gonna happen is y'all will be very unhappy and it'll get ugly and you're both gonna get hurt. Maybe it's best if she's someone else's problem/responsibility.

>>40929500
bro really wants to quit without being held responsible for the kids an hero doesnt he.

>>40925843 (OP)
>Pic not her
Obviously.

>>40925843 (OP)
>She is perfectly fine with makeup on, but when she doesn't have it on, the gut wretch happens immediately
aint that the truth
never edating a tranny again

> I am hoping it gets better over time and with her changes,
the only time it actually got better for me was when i DIDNT want to date the person and was friends with her but she ended up growing on me and i started crushing on her.
gonna try and meet more trans women irl

>>40926616
is 3,5 years valid too
other trannies told me im cute

>>40925843 (OP)
bro trannies need to transition young to be a real delight for a real chasers. above a certain age, you need to see them 3 years in for it to be satisfactory.

>>40931009
I love this clip so much, what match was this?

>>40925843 (OP)
Get Outside Son! Fresh Air is Miraculous!!!!

>>40925843 (OP)
>(if it was even her)
damn. pays to pay attention to the asides and details in this story.

>>40930363
Her mental illness is not his responsibility, period.

>>40932282
an example of the hero complex if ever there was one.

I'm so afraid this is how my bf feels

>>40926440
Picrel is when you photoshot a girls head to fit a big hulking male body, except its a real person, a trans woman.

>>40928545
All trannies say this kinda of stuff. They don't know what real harrasment is.