Thread 41091185

pushed everyone away again:(

confess things, vent, say things that you wish you could to someone you can’t, pray yr person readds you, or whatever

i will probably crazy post :(
good luck everyone <3

I hate you more than you'll ever be capable of understanding

There are people posting on this board right now who have fucked me over so severely in real life that I am now so hopelessly far down the social and economic ladder to know where to restart my life

>>41091210
to ppl who clock op as me i didnt post this at myself or the cringe gif but there is no way this anon hates me more than hate self its cringe i act like kicked dog over it i hope new tranny hardship backs me into enough of corner to finally have no other choice then to not wake up

>>41091294
you are genuinely an ugly hon

>>41091312
i blocked my brother and sisters phone numbers

>>41091185 (OP)
This boat is ruining my mental health. But I KEEP. FUCKING. COMING. BACK.
Nothing here brings me happiness and every is so fucking miserable. I CANT TAKE IT I WANT TO SCREAM UNTIL MY LUNGS GIVE OUT.

>>41091185 (OP)
I remember you I thought you killed yourself. Will you please post more nudes?

>>41091370
i hope you stop coming here good luck im sorry<3
>>41091383
:(

i hope i get beaten to death at work tomorrow by right wing mob

In transitioning because I want to be a tranny. It is the only scenario I can actually get off to. Maybe trooning for sex is bad but imagine a life where you can’t have any enjoyable sex. I have no major dysphoria but I do feel better presenting as a woman. If I woke up tomorrow looking like picrel with nice tits, an ass and an 8.5 in fully functional cock I’d be ecstatic.

>>41091185 (OP)
i don't hate you and i think you deserve happiness. the world is a more beautiful place with you in it.

>>41091588
thanks fren the world is more beautiful with you as well sorry i blocked you<3
i blocked everyone i was currently talking to

>>41091617
i figured. made me a bit sad but i understand.

>>41091623
i’m really sorry it’s so dumb i do this i do really like talking to you im gonna readd if you want to add me back if not is okay but im going to try and sleep bc work early :( thank for posting and being nice to me<3

i still look at your posts every single day to make sure you aren't talking about me. it's doing psychological damage to me, especially seeing your face. the same face that screamed at me and threw tantrums at the slightest inconvenience. i'm not sure why i stayed with you all that time, maybe it was just me feeling trapped and tied to my own abuser.

speaking of abuse, you sure do love playing the victim. you love doing it so much that you told my friends i was DARVOing you when the exact opposite happened. i did everything to try and help you, and the worst part is that i thought, at least for a time, that it was helping. but people like you aren't satisfied unless they have everything. I'm glad i moved out without telling you. thanks for making this year start off miserably.

anywho, why were you so close to me in that picture you posted today? i don't like that you were 5 minutes from my work. we've had many close calls, and i actually saw you on the train platform one time when i was going to work, but you were too busy looking at your phone. good god im lucky you did that. im not sure what i would even say if i got confronted by you. probably like... "talk to my lawyer"? dunno, I'd probably actually just be in shock from all those times you manipulated me. I'd start crying. i hate thinking about you, but i also can't get you out of my head over the looming thought of you telling all my family and friends about my secret porn drawing account (which you've threatened to tell everyone about).. not very Peace, Love, Unity or Respectful by the way. since you love preaching that. seems you're faking those principals as well.

anyway glad you dropped that lawsuit.

you wouldn't have won. i have a witness and many recordings.

p.s. it's been two whole years and you still havent received that fursuit. i'm sure you feel ever so amazing about that financial decision, don't you? you always could were good at finding a way to screw yourself over without telling me first

Delete discord.
Only socialize with real people.
No problems.
Online drama is as easy to remove from your life as clicking a button.

>>41091234
Are you literally me

bump

To A from A. Yeah, you know I have feelings for you. I just DON’T KNOW what to do about this feeling tearing through my body all the time. What the fuck!!! I keep watching one video you sent. You look sleepy and cozy and I know it would feel so safe in your arms… I’m ACTUALLY going crazy over you. I’m so sorry. I’m so embarrassed. I didn’t want to catch feelings. I can’t believe we kissed. I’m so sorry for causing trouble in your relationship. I wish I could just change into a cis girl for you. :(

i miss everyone i wish i could bpd more but i just feel more complacent in death i hope desperately i can actually kms i know i could if i got a nitrogen tank but idk where to get one too scared to go somewhere irl and all the ones that ship to you come empty i never want to be seen again and i wish i never knew my family any of them i wish anything i did contributed anything to anyone but all i do is fall apart and even if i didnt i would still have a negative impact on everything i come into contact i dont want to know touch and i dont want to feel in my body i dont want consciousness just moping around and being negative like i cant do anything is an act of hatred toward everyone and it only makes me hate myself more but i constantly am reminded and know the limitations of my existence its so stupid i shouldn’t be here doing anything i’m a 30 year old brickhon that just annoys anyone unlucky enough that i can’t control bad vibes im such a retard i hope i can actually do it i was so tainted beyond repair being raped as a child if they do the gas chambers it’ll be an easy way out i’m sorry for hating everyone

whoever called me a narcissistic sociopath at that bar last night, you were right, i dont care about all these people in my life because they dont count to me, theyre not like me.
also might kill myself out of boredom

i want to splatter your shoes with my blood

u bailed on me first and i really wanted to meet up with you i wish i could have chilled and us just been friends but ik all our interactions were hollow and you were just using me i still wish i just let myself be used

>>41096238
what?

i will never pass and thats ok

>>41096039
because you’re a creepy weirdo.
why did you drop trip and spam your crossdressing pics last night? you deleted the first one because you posted with your trip. you always deny posting as anon but you got caught this time.

>>41088683
>>41088792
>41088836
>41089150
>>41089482
>>41089819

i hate this feeling i hate this feeling i hate this feeling i hate this feeling i hate this feeling

i think i got into a relationship with someone who loves me too much. she's insanely horny (bc she won't stop taking her prog she doesn't need) and I can't keep up. i'm not sure i'm even that attracted to her anymore, i think i ended up here because i have no idea how to say no. i struggle to set any kind of boundary because i don't really believe i've done anything to deserve them, so i kinda stumbled into this mess i suppose

idk if i love her, i know she loves me and a part of me wants to stay for her sake. but i've never broken up with anyone before because i'm a desperate clingy bpdemon that's very unhealthy so most people break up with me rather quickly

sometimes i wonder if i'm even worth the oxygen i breathe

nonas... what do i do

>>41096676
Why are other posters allowed to post outfit pics without being harassed? Winemom, bpd, and a few others post pics so why can't I ?

>>41096720
because you’re a non-hrt sexpest crossdressing sissy who enjoys harassing transwomen

>>41096763
What are you?

>>41091185 (OP)
I gave my mom genital warts and she thought my dad cheated on her and got it that way

Couldn't recover a photo of panty sniffer

i have no idea if what is happening is normal hrt shrinkage or prostate cancer, or something else, i don't know if it's just temporary or permanent, but today i did some manual maintainance of that thing and it looks weirdly shaped (i heard it maintains the health of the tissue and decreases the chances of prostate cancer) o_o and i'm scared because i don't know if it's supposed to look like that...

>>41096924
Let me see it

>>41096941
obviously i can't show that, but it looks weirdly mishaped, like a bell with a tip smaller than the end instead of a cylinder

i don't have any problem with the size or anything, but i'm scared i might have broken it or may have discovered a symptom of something

>>41097061
Post an unsee, genuinely curious to see if it’s normal or not

went to get my passport with my updated name, fuck when I saw the photo in it, I just knew I couldnt trust anyone in my life, they say I look good, that I pass, but I look so hideous and basically an ogre in it, I started crying when I got it.

HahaahahaahahhaahahH
Oh to be a non assaulted white man and not some overreacting brownoid good god

>>41096773
the fuck

>>41097081
apparently posting on unsee requires a login now, i don't remember that being the case, but i also only ever used it once, maybe twice

>>41097587
That’s dumb, there’s other alternatives but idk if you wanna go that far just for my curiosity on how misshaped your pickle is

>>41091185 (OP)
I miss you a lot and I don't know why you blocked me. I'm sorry for whatever I did.

>>41097650
i only drew a picture of it, i wouldn't actually take one just for that, i'm just gonna manifest that it'll be fine, i didn't notice anything was off before and maybe it's just one of those things that happens

>>41097714
Lmao now I’m more curious on how the pic turned out lol.

>>41096681
this isn’t me for the record i don’t have webbed ass crack

>>41097828
it's so messed up, i'm never using lotion on it again just to be safe, the memes can't be trusted

some anon said i should be fine eventually, i hope so

>>41091487
what a gooner. kill yourself now to save you the trouble after you spend $200k failing

>>41099642
Does it look like it’s been inflated?

>>41099825
idk what that would feel like, it just feels regular

>>41099939
Nah a friend jerked off and her peen was inflated as heck lol

>>41097661
if this is at me i’m really sorry i get scared and i block everyone it’s stupid and has cost me a lot of friendships if you lmk which person you are i will unblock am kinda scared because ik some are angry at me or im too scared to know their reaction and ik some dont think im sorry i think about it a lot ik i am very sorry my brain is fucked

>>41100048
i misread, it does look inflated, like i have foreskin or something

>>41100531
So she usally humps her urges away and never strokes she thinks it’s because of that

>>41100564
i use both methods, and i haven't noticed anything off before

>>41100582
Oh hmm well maybe you went too hard lol hope your peen gets better Nona

>>41100685
i hope so too

>>41099761
I already semi pass dolled up. FFS would be a game changer and will not cost that much.

>>41100821
>>41099761
honestly i don't understand how anyone would be so attached to being a guy yet only realize it after years of living as a woman, being on hrt and surgery

M,
...
-M

>>41100973
Right? I’ve had this desire for a while and I think the only reason ive put off doing something serious about it is denial, fear and basically beating those repping thoughts into my head

to the friend who blocked me i rly hope you readd you can still say yeep yeep and n as and sorry as anon i told you not to and sorry i said i hate you and i miss you a lot i wish i never blocked you first none of the gross posts in the thread are me and i hope the ppl who are gross posting have good luck and such sorry i still think ab you and hope you add me i am still doing my blocking nonsense with other bc im unbearably cringe but i have calmed down a lot about you still makes me so sad though good luck whatever you are working on these days

I walked ten thousand miles, ten thousand miles to see you
And every gasp of breath I grabbed at just to find you
I climbed up every hills to get, to you
I wondered ancient lands to hold, just you
And every single step of the way, I pay-hey hey hey hey
Every single night and day
I searched for you
Through sandstorms and hazy dawns I reached for you

>>41101395
how often do you comment this in these threads?

>>41101430
What a mouselike question.

>>41101457
do i know u? why do i always get called mouselike?

I wish you knew me and wanted me. I wish things were different.

>>41101613
There are two possibilities.
>I know you, and seeing a single post by you was enough for me to make the connection due to how mouselike you are.
>We're strangers, and you're so mouselike that more than one person has called you mouselike in your life.
What do you think? Which is it?

>>41101675
ig second? i thought maybe you jus assumed i was op bc i am and used to regularly make these threads idk. you could just call people mouselike too much :p why don’t always post lyrics to that one song?

>>41101749
do you always*

>>41091185 (OP)
I been teaching a cisfemale friend part of me being a tranny and I feel so bad because finally I made a friend who accepts me as a tranny.

I always think that I would hurt her and our friendship will go to the trash... I already lost my last partner after being such an idiot

>>41100077
I think you probably aren't the person I was talking about. want to be friends though?
prosopon

we can do better than these

>>41102574
how so?

>>41102590
i don't want to hear about sissies and self hating repressors talking about their fetish. i want to hear vulnerable confessions and high stake secrets from interesting people

>>41102869
oh yeah it’s a weird confession thread i feel like im the only person spiraling on 4chan rn i think its the charlie kirk stuff

>>41091185 (OP)
How do I stop using grindr to find league duo? I literally been playing with people I meet on grindr because I thought it was funny but now... I have 8 dick pics and also messaging two guys although I have no fucking interest because I hate gay men?!?!

I started talking to someone recently who I like a lot but I am fairly sure she does not give a fuck about me and would never message me again if I stopped initiating. I am entirely aware that this will never go anywhere, yet I will probably psychologically torture myself for the next few months hallucinating about a future together
>>41102574
Sorry mine isn't interesting either but I needed to bitch about it

i come here to talk to trannies because they're usually really sweet and as lonely as i am, feels nice desu. helps me feel a little less lonely for a while but I don't think i can keep doing this. i can't find people to open up to irl because i'm ugly probably autistic and retarded, i can't bring myself to fix my appearance. i have zero motivation to fix anything i'm losing my shit.

>>41103447
same :(

>>41103472
sending virtual hugs anon! ;-;
i moved places and that's making stuff worse, i had 1-2 friends back home but i don't know anyone here. people back home somehow got over my disgusting appearance.

i want her back so badly even just as a friend i’ve never meshed with anyone like her same language interests and similar loved experience i wish i never blocked her or told her i like her just stayed friends or reveled myself a hon just let her know my angle fraud not getting harrased one time at work i believe she made something to make fun of me idc i never had a friend like her it’s sucks i fell for her lost control it’s so stupid why do ppl here tell me my nudes look good i hate myself it’s so stupid fart anon knows all my trauma i hate understanding anything wish i could go out and do things with ppl instead of bailing on everyone the last 5 years i did move across the country and im grateful yet trapped my partner is glad i have no one bc they hurt me if i do and doesn’t matter how much i play it over in my head lost ffs mom dead dad death threat uncle rape or type it here i kno i’m far better ceasing to exist and not knowing anyone or anything im not suicidal im not suicidal im not suicidal they are right transitioning for most is a heinous activity ik it is for me ik i was a woman since little but my body cannot let me be one i need starve myself again and get the surgeries i can but live as a man bc charlie kirk died for it and ik my body no matter who tells me what i do not want to miss out on being gassed all my thoughts are abuse even in doing favors is my hatred pls let me have the strength to kms

>>41103603
your partner hurts you?

>>41103632
yeah idk physically only once and it was barely anything but they are happy i don’t talk to anyone bc if i do they constantly accuse me having a crush on whoever i talk to which ig is fair bc one time i did and it was a big mess but they also accused me of having a crush on that person before i even did so idk also im too stupid to even be in that relationship and should bc ik my curse

why did people say its trutrans when i posted my nudes here in an attempt to push me to suicide idgi

>>41096449
maybe even leave a piece of my brain in your jeans

>>41103684
:(

>>41103603
will you please stop coming here

>>41103742
confession threads?

I really hate what you've done to me! I hate when you text me! I hate seeing your face! I wish I never met you!
I also love you more than anything else in the world and think about you constantly...

I'm sorry for being a BPDemon, I recently had to deal with one and they weren't even nearly as terrible as I was, and it still hurt my self worth a lot dealing with her. I see how my actions comes across to others and affects them now and I feel terrible for what I did to you. I'm so sorry for being self centered and awful, you're genuinely an amazing wonderful person who didn't deserve the way I treated you. The more time that passes from what I did, the more it sets in what I did. I'm sorry, you deserve the love that you crave so intensely.

>>41101758
It used to mean something to someone I loved, once.
It serves no purpose, really.
She'll never see it and even if she did, she wouldn't respond,
and even if she did I wouldn't answer back.
I guess I just find some catharsis in posting it.
Like looking up at the stars and knowing there's a slim chance she's looking at those same stars at the same time, something like that.
I never want to see her again and I know she feels the same, yet some small insufferable and nagging part of me compels me to do stupid things like this, to have these tedious thoughts.
Imagine having oneitis while knowing how stupid, toxic and ridiculous that is.
Couldn't be me.

>>41091185 (OP)
im going insane without you

I think you're the most beautiful girl in the world, idc about what you perceive as flaws in yourself, I love them too. People are not perfect, i love your flaws.
I don't care if you hate me, I don't hate you, and never will, its not in my nature to hate your personality type, I love the fact that i know that you RAN to your friends to go "talk shit" about me. Its funny to me, that as adults we call it talking shit, and as children we call it talking to your friends about that cute someone you are in fact really interested in. I love that the clumsy in you is not gone, Its still there and you know that i see it. Its insane how much of the exact same actions we take when it comes to each other. It makes me smile, Im to old to be blind to peoples intelligence. Its wonderful, im STILL in lust with it, ( yeah get that out of your head right now, people dream about kissing you, Literally everyone on earth fantasies about stuff like that)
Im sorry too. my issue is that i know i should have grabbed you turned you around and kissed you right there on the spot. I know you wanted it, i wanted it too. I am aware that i come off as someone who has their pick, ( i do) but i don't want anyone, not anyone perfect anyway, i thrive on symbiosis, if i can read right away that we can really help each other if we got together just ads to my attraction. You're right, i Do know what you want to know, and i CAN do the thing you want me to do, but it will take a little time because i am also (obviously) messed up. I'm still hoping i could still get that kiss. (have to start somewhere right) everyone already knows im gay as hell, i don't have to hide. You're just as jittery on the topic, only when you are starring dead at me though, again, i do the same. Don't Trip Potato Chip

we are in the same boat. I can almost feel your heart racing in just my writings, (there are reasons people tell me i should write) please don't fret, Im a lot, and its NEVER my intention to scare you, but i do want you to feel the emotions that make me so skittish around you. (im attracted to you, im gonna look like a retard) Im not mad or hurt about what you did or said, I'm more butt hurt about the fact i wont get to see you anymore. Not the way i want to anyway. You're still wonderful to me, and even if you're pissed at me, i will never be pissed at you. My opinion is bias, dont ask me about that woman.
heh madding isnt it... ^_^*

>deleted posts
Don't trip, potato chip.

>>41104642
kek! Thanks

>>41091185 (OP)
I love you, but every week I see less and less of a possibility of a future together. And I'm tired of pretending it's all me. I'm putting in so much effort, every single perceived slipup you meet with such overwhelming anger and indignation and your tendency is to just explode and end a relationship. I can't deal with that response every time I dare to slip below 100%.

I miss you.

im sorry. i want to call you, but i know its for the best that i dont. i wish i could hear your voice again. im sorry.

It feels unfair that you crumble over nothing. I do so much to comfort you. That doesn't bother me, because I love you, but I feel like I will never get that in return. Maybe that's my fault, I don't know how to seek it out, but it's not like you try to either, half the time you push me away. I don't matter anyways. I think my feelings are childish. But sometimes I wish you would ever want to talk me through it. I've been around mentally ill people all my life. I feel like there is no room for me to have improper emotions.

browsing this board makes me feel better abt myself. its probably not great for my mental health to be here long term (it never is) but in small doses it makes me very grateful for what i have in life. thanks guys i hope things get better for you too

>>41100685
i woke up today and it's normally shaped, i'm literally invincible lol

I’ve been emotionally abusing a trans girl recently. We met on here a while back and things were going good. But then I realized she’s a pushover. She’s a coward. She’s a pathetic loser. I started to take advantage of that. I started to make her isolate herself from her friends. I started to make her wear ridiculous things and do ridiculous things.

At one point she was so manipulated and isolated that she would literally send videos of her prostrating to me, bending and praying to me. She clings to me like sticky tape. The moment she wakes up, she is constantly messaging me and asking me for validation. One time I told her to force herself to throw up and she did it right there on call. And all the while kept asking me if I was happy with her.

I’ve abused this girl so much. I am so happy that she’s mine. She’ll never be Normal again. My lovely little Girl.

>>41106524
holy peak

>>41106524
i think this would fix me

>>41107613
If you don’t mind the fact that I have another toy, I could add you to my collection. You’ll be so happy.

>>41106524
You need to stop this or she's going to attempt suicide. I was in something similar and I was scared as fuck to leave and emotionally dependent asf. It's coming up on 3 years now and I'm still traumatized as shit and in therapy and I became an alcoholic to cope. I am in a wonderful supportive relationship and I struggle to work a job or get on with my fucking life despite all the support bc of how bad this shit fucked me up. The panic attacks are constant. When it gets too much, one day she will quietly block you everywhere and never speak to you again

>>41107870
You say that now. But think about how good you felt when u were there. Being completely obedient, completely subservient. Listening to his every command. Sure, you can be your own person. But when he tells you to do something, you’d drop everything and do it. Admit the truth. It felt good. I’d bet that with ur current relationship you’ll have those moments where you wish ur partner was more dominant. More decisive. More assertive.

She doesn’t suffer from any of that. She loves me a lot. I don’t abuse her, she WANTS to obey now. There’s a difference

>>41103447
kind of same back in the day, and even now as I'm starting to fix my life, I still occasionally come here

>>41104027
I sometimes feel the best way to learn how it felt for others is to get a taste of our own medicine. Hopefully it was a gift from fate to allow us to be better people in the future.

>>41106524
>We met on here a while back and things were going good. But then I realized she’s a pushover. She’s a coward. She’s a pathetic loser. I started to take advantage of that
lol this was my ex but genders flipped

>>41108035
i've been trying to fix my life too, but idk i keep relapsing.

>>41105883
adult emotions are fine to have, just dont let them define you.
obligatory hypocrisy accepted, Im ill, when you figure out how to do it, tell me how.

>>41107924
whaow, you ARE STILL A SATIST!! why doesn't anyone kirk you? You just fuck up everyone around you, then fuck up even MORE people because of the gravity of shit you wallow in.

>>41108420
You aren’t denying anything I’ve said. Get upset at me all you want. The truth remains. People like me exist because people like you want it.

i've been experimenting a little bit with psychedelics recently and my last trip made me sort of face the fact that my life is genuinely absurd and fucking boring 95% of the time i'm awake and not even in the way that you can romanticise or say is suffering in the name of a greater good. i do a bullshit job that contributes nothing to society where i genuinely don't even know what half of my coworkers do but i support them in doing what i'm told, i make just about enough to scrape by in a foreign city i don't even want to be in that much while my boss is buying his third house, sure i have hobbies but all that really happens is i go to work for 9 hours a day, go do one of my hobbies for a couple of hours and feel alive for once, then go back to my empty flat where i could genuinely probably lay dead for a week without anyone noticing. once you step back and take a good look at it you realise it's a horrible way to live. i haven't really felt connected to anyone or anything all that much since i transitioned all those years ago, i've been arm's length with my family since and haven't even so much as set foot in my home country in five years. don't get me wrong, it was a shitty environment, but at least i was part of something.

ever since i had this trip i've basically been so depressed, like no matter how much i sleep i'm still so tired i can barely keep my eyes open at my desk, i only feel happy when i'm working out and doing my hobbies. i'm seriously considering just trying to negotiate severance at work (honestly they're probably conspiring to make me redundant anyway) but what then? i could move to be closer to the person i love and simultaneously be in a country that uses my native language again for the first time in seven years. would it help? not in and of itself but maybe i'd be on the right path. maybe i should go back to tutoring french to schoolkids like i did for income in college. at least teaching kids a language contributes something to this world.

I wish I was a transbian instead of a pooner

As a cis man, I hate my body, it's not as masculine as I'd like, and it's just mid, not fat, not fit, just there. I try to fix it, but I get burnt out immediately, my joints start to cry for help, and I just can't keep up an exercise routine to get toned, on the other side, I just avoid eating, so I don't gain weight.
And it's there. Mid, worthless, insignificant, an obstacle, my face? Attractive in some angles, a round lump in others, I take many pictures, but I would never post one for a dating profile, all of my pics are worthless, even the ones that are supposed to be cool.
I just suck, I hate myself, I will never get a partner

>>41107655
i can’t but does sound nice to be a part of your collection though

>>41110552
why cant you? whats the fear and hesitancy for? just think about it.you'd feel so good being dolled up, being praised and being bred by me. you wouldnt have to worry ever again.