>>41546105
do you want to do a double sui to cleanse ourselves of our sins?
>>41546118
we dated for a few months and everything was good. we twlked every day and then things changed because he said he "wasn't codependent anymore". he said he didn't actually like talking to me, he just felt forcedto. he also started saying he didn't really view me as a person. it felt like he lost interest in me so i sent my nudes to 3 people and told him about it to make it clear i didn't care (i did care) that he didn't care. this happened another time, a month inbetween. i don't know what i thought it'd accomplish. it made me feel awful and i feel bad for hurting him because he was a really sweet soul. he ended up breaking up with me and getting back together with me repeatedly over the course of 9or so months. spent valentines day alone, spent our meeting anniversary alone, he broke up with me while i was on a vacation, we had a fight the night before my birthday. he admitted he had no actual intention of flying out to meet me and insinuated i was planning on raping him for offering to cover the costs of the flight and hotel.
the breaking point was him finding out i dated someone (for like a week) on one of his "breaks". i stopped being friends with her out of respect for him afterwards but that wasn't enough.
our last fight was me sobbing and apologizing over call and him getting annoyed at me. i don't think he believes i'm genuinely apologetic for all the stuff i did. i don't really know if i hurt him or just hurt his ego. i hate myself for not being enough to keep his interest in the first place. always had to be the one who said "i love you" first and stuff. i wish he really intended to fix things when he came back but it always circled back to me doing something to irritate him and him leaving again. i am a massive piece of shit and i deserve everything so it's really hard to blame him.
the captcha was his name. holy shit my life is a joke.