Thread 41564698

realmoder x fakemoder yuri edition
QOTT: can a passoid and a brick ever find true love together?
prev: >>41546081

>>41564698 (OP)
no, the fakemoder will torment and ruin the realmoder because it's just in their nature

>>41564698 (OP)
im the hon

god i wish i were a girl so i could cry without feeling gross about myself

undiagnosed autism + untreated adhd + untreated gender dysphoria = me

>>41564920
get treated then retard

>>41564927
I can't, especially for the latter

>>41564939
why?

>>41564943
I'm too masculine, I'm already on HRT but it's like with stage 4 cancer, sometimes in very rare cases chemotherapy and radiotherapy work to treat someone (but leaves them sick still)
I'm a terminal stage 4 cancer person but for gender dysphoria
if I had it treated when it was still stage 1 or 2 I could've survived probably but I wasn't treated so now it's too late I'm going to die

>>41564970
cool

>>41564984
it's not cool
I could've done so many things but my life is ruined now
just another retarded depressed tranny now

not real

>>41565014
you can still do it retarded and depressed
fix your gay tranny mindset

>>41565022
I don't want to be retarded and depressed and that makes me not want to do anything but lay in bed all day

>>41565032
nyooo :3 get up

>>41565037
why

>>41565014
well you could try treating the things you say you can't without actually explaining why

>>41565047
because you just gotta

>>41565055
if I get out of bed and go do things outside I'm forced to be a man in society

does anyone wanna makeout in a dark alley

>>41565086
hi

>>41565094
not you

>>41565069
sorry

back to train posting

>>41565132
can you come pick me up

>>41565117
why not

>>41565086
no not really

>>41565137
you know exactly why

>>41565136
wya?

>>41565143
not losing much I'm not a good kisser :/

>drinking all day
>stopped going outside
>flaking on social and work obligations
>repeating out loud I'm gonna fucking kill myself
yeah I'm depressionmaxxing

>>41565178
the goonstate

>>41565186
me

>>41565186
have you tried drinking more water?

im not good at managing my anger i get angry very easily and shout to my mom
i think its because she doesnt listen unless i get angry she keeps doing or saying the same stuff even though i ask her to stop and now im ruined forever because of it

>>41565187
damn, i’m in a different “the g_____ state” :/

>>41565222
i do what he does and drink water

>>41565218
yeah just enough to keep my lips from getting dry and flakey or getting headaches

>>41565222
just drink water

I couldn't stand up for myself and now my life is ruined forever

>>41565222
I'm great at managing my anger until the second I'm not and my invisible rage meter pops

I feel so lonely this sucks

>>41565235
>>41565218

>>41565265
how's your love life

>>41565254
i drink more water than you

>>41565265
the second i let my emotions get even the mildest hold on me i snap so i have to spergmode if i want any chance of not acting as an antisocial retard
its either be nothing or be annoying, no wonder i dont have friends

train 2, featuring some bullshit someone spilt presumably hours ago

>>41565276
have u tried drink water?

>>41565295
nobody drinks more water than me. my waking hours are made up entirely of drinking water and pissing.

crimes of the future is boring asf

>>41565446
cronenburg is overrated yet foundational and necessary

the final train, a subway :3

My body is too feminine for mens clothing but I'm literally 6'2

i haven't worn women's clothing in years

if I don't hide my tits and wear women's skinny jeans and underwear but men's everything else, and I am 100% male in all of my social interactions, am I a fakemoder?

>>41565670
this is so erotic

>>41565697
i guess it depends on if you’re treated as a woman or man. malefailing is the make or break for fakemoding, imo

>>41565339
i hate peeing so much but i feel so awful if i drink any less than i do

>>41565742
I honestly think I don't pass as either anymore either but my demeanor, voice, and stature mean it's 100% malewins with no malefails at all in years now

>>41565670
giwtwm

>>41565670
i’d say you can absolutely girlmode. i’m 5’11 and saw a woman a good bit taller than me like 15 minutes ago and there was no mistaking her for a man

what porn should a manmoder masturbate to?

third reich rpf

>>41565810
My face looks really bad

>>41565866
in that case i’d say the issue is more your face than your height, imo

>>41565914
But my height is still a problem

these hoes don't want a solution

i need to be beat choked and raped IN THAT ORDER

Someone made fun of the size of my hips one day

>>41566038
fakemoder

>>41566140
I'm 6'2

>>41566038
hot

>>41566038
because they’re large or they’re small?

today's chores for maximum Pretty Princess Points
>get work stuff done for work
>enroll in insurance
>go outside to smoke and get more beer
>shower
>laundry
>clip nails
>shave legs
>take pills
>eat
>get fountain to say animal crossing town is perfect
>don't kms (lol)

>>41566457
fakemoder

can't relate since this one is me

>>41566478
subblanchiate your aim

>>41565670
>my body is too feminine
>amab
lmao

>>41566488
too real too real

>>41564698 (OP)
trvemoders we look like this

>>41566488
i unironically look like that

>>41566488
me after socially detransing and not finishing electro but still running an hrt femboy grift on twitter

>>41566681
you dont do that

>>41566690
correction; it is what i will do when those things come to pass

i'm such a boozemaxxed alcpilled drinkcel

>>41566712
same bestie

all you bitches do is complain

>>41566731
yeah, so?

>>41566731
what do you do

is sugaring a gimmick or is it really better than waxing does anybody with high density estrogenized male leg hair have experience with it?

>>41566731
this is bitching and moaning general

>>41566739
im watching mythbusters :3
>>41566738
do something else :/

>>41566748
gimmick, just wax

>>41566764
>do something else :/
why?

>>41566690
you will never ever do that

I am a gay homosexual man.

>>41566832
>>41566708

>>41564698 (OP)
The only cure to gynpehilic demonic impulses is rope.
i or i will be not gynephilic or i will not be, sooner or later i will hang myself and gynephilia will be a direct cause.

>>41566841
same bro

>>41566842
is that a challenge?

>>41566874
a challenge you will lose

>>41566866
you made up half of these words

>>41566866
liking women doesn't make you evil, get help with your schizophrenia

>>41566881
aight bet catch ya later

>>41566542
I was lying

IM SO MANLY

>>41566906
it makes me a agp degenerate and not a woman.

>>41566992
according to who? not even the fraud himself claimed anything like that
get off of this website and touch grass

play went over even better than last time i think! my friends specifically really enjoyed it too :)

>>41567039
cool good job

quitting HRT again, this is the second time within five months.
Let's see how long I last this time! :)

>>41567170
you'll be back

>>41567204
I really hope not

>>41567170
who gives a shit

she's a fakemoder blow her up I'm gonna go take a shit (epic high iq reference btw iykyk)

>>41567252
(You) apparently

i wore a dress and did makeup for halloween and have felt kind of sad since

ahaha

>>41567313
I was going to but didn't and I've felt kind of sad since

subway back :3 my friends are laughing just out of frame

i have four fully functioning testes

i have a singular teste that works quadruple hard

train 2, my friends and i are all sitting together, perhaps too close :3

I want to get rid of my testes but I wish I could just turn them into ovaries instead

imagine having friends

>>41568313
gay nigga

I am a balding middle-aged man with no friends or family.

>>41568382
same, worstie

every 24 year old zoomer thinks they're middle aged now

i'm a geriatric 27 year old. probably gonna die of natural causes soon.

transition goals

you don't even remember 9/11

>>41568542
I was on my way to school and it was on the radio, I remember I made some edgy remark about the big apple getting worms and my mom was furious with me then the other kids and I spent all day debating who dun it while our hippie teachers had us sing songs together and gave us spaces to cry and hug it out

i actually do remember the TV coverage

How do I cope with the fact that I cant take the trans route because Im tall and have an oblong face,long philtrum and low set eyebrows?

>>41568626
manmode on hrt?

do it anyway : )

>>41568637
that would be a waste of money especially for a poorfag like me

>>41568644
cool well this is the thread for people who do that and the alternatives are repression, which doesn't work, or just listen to >>41568640 and do the normal troon path

>>41568644
get a job whore

>>41568644
hrt is dirt cheap

>>41568668
yeah this if you're in the US it's literally free if you're broke unless you're too young and/or in the wrong state, diy is affordable too

>>41568670
I live in eastern europe

no train 3 :( my friends insisted on ubering because it was like a 50 minute wait
>>41568347
on the gay board, shocking i know

>>41568679
go look at >>>/lgbt/hrtgen and get on diy
manmoding means you are an amab who takes hrt while not socially transitioning

>>41568679
great, one of the biggest names in DIY hrt is Ukrainian (and yes she's still making it)

>>41568683
loser.

>>41568679
marry me so i can emigrate

>>41568725
sorry :/

>>41568864
never apologize to these fools

>>41568870
fuck you

>>41568905
loosen your binder

>>41568910
what?

>>41568940
it's making you angry

>>41568956
of course here comes the mansplaining, typical

>>41568981
shut the fuck up forever preferably

>>41568988
I'm so fucking scared are you going to hit me

>>41569002
yes

computer, delete all namefags. reset time index to 2021. resume program.

my boosb hurt and I feel like I'm drifting away from reality

Repping is getting too hard. I have no intention of ever socially transitioning, but if it do hrt there's a lot chance I would semi pass. Is it possible to maintain a somewhat masculine life as a permamanmoder?

>>41569469
it is possible to maintain an entirely masculine life as a permamanmoder, but you might grow tits and you'll get softer skin and feel different in ways that might make you behave differently and those changes might be visible so you might get treated differently

never rep

>stop repping so you can be a miserable freakish manmoder like me
lol

>>41569556
>posts in mmg
?

>>41569556
loosen your binder

>>41569563
speaking from experience obviously

I'm less miserable and dead inside now but it's still over and I'm still dying alone and I still will never be a woman

>>41569593
you're a woman right now

>>41569620
don't be mean

>>41569556
if you’re gonna be depressed and suicidal either way you might as well aim for the life you want and hope things work out later

>>41569641
i'm not being mean

>>41569415
they’re really painful the first month. the extremeeeee pain phase is really short though only 1-2 days

>>41569654
this tbdesu
I'm on the verge of giving up entirely but I at least gave it a shot and that was worthwhile

>>41569660
it's been years... and they hurt a LOT off and on for a few months, now they still hurt a little every few weeks

>>41569593
it is ok chudette, that is life when you are ugly

I am going to hire Russian mobsters to purify your body on live TV, you Satanic demon;
you are a gay little boy;
suck my Brown cock clean, Eastern European savage.

I will sniff cocaine every day while taking every impoverished mother in your economically precarious country to bed with me, you ass-eating faggot.

>noo don't flirt with her she's mine to hit!
mmg first bizarre love triangle

>>41569918
loosen your binder

How do i cope with knowing my bf is a flaming homosexual for being with me and he will never be the redneck country boy (hetero) ideal i've constructed in my head?

>>41568870
i'm just too shinji-like

>>41569346
>2021
hey, that’s when i started using this board! the moders love me <3

play with penis

>>41570101
fag

yummy cummy fun time

i should uhhh detransition

i win the ugliest creature award

estrogen was so ineffective for me that i didnt even stop fitting in with cis people, in fact i fit in with them MORE than i fit in with trans people and also i fit in with trannies way less than when i was cis. strange

>>41570241
why are you like this

it's gay to get pussy

pussy should be banned

pussy is lowk based when being a straight man is the vibe

pussy makes me PUKE

im lowk a freak like that

>>41570323
pussy is so scary. i gave up on it after a few times and got on hrt. also spooning a woman to sleep made me suicidal after doing it twice. that should be me

i get hrt soon because i finally emerged from my shell and got a life so now i can do things, lets fucking go

I miss pussy
I should go c4t but it's literally just cishet except I have tits

>>41570338
im gonna be a real certified manmoder soon

im a gold star gay! im a real faghgot im no agp freak which makes me so much better than all of you. i kissed a girl once though

the Roman Empire never fell
the CIA is blocking God
the so-called "Christians" of the modern day are agents of the Devil himself
the neo-Roman emperor is torturing true believers in a black site in Turkey
the empire rewrites religion into propaganda
the anti-Christ is risen
the end times are here

>>41570356
kissing girls is AGP

spurt spurt in my mouth, please

>>41570360
true actually, and troonyism is a way to cleanse the population of spiritually gifted genetics

the true purpose of Israel is to make West Asia unsafe for Jews by increasing anti-Semitism worldwide
they want to remove Jews from the United States and send them to Israel
they want to remove anyone whose mind isn't enslaved by Satanic CIA child-murdering demons

>>41570378
>spiritually gifted
your etc etc, cultist

people might not like this but the reason jesus forbid gay sex and crossdressing was to ensure faggot genes are passed on in perpetuity or at least until the blessed kingdom of christ nullifies birth and sex

>>41570378
it's true that transgenders are spiritually gifted. i have found many among you whose minds are attuned to the universal frequency. we are God's army. the time has come to destroy Babylon. show no mercy to the agents of the Devil

spiritually attune deeze nuts you stupid bitch

should i kill myself for being a faggot with prickly legs or should i kill myself for being a faggot with a tummy or should i kill myself for being a faggot with a flat ass or should i lock in and become a hot faggot

The Kingdom offered was a humble, open shore;
The cruel revision is a fortress built for war.
Bid the weary home, with a smile of false accord;
A hollow safety, sanctioned by the sword.

i have never loved

>>41570441
I'm gonna kill myself for being fundamentally incompatible with others and the ensuing terminal loneliness

you cannot understand the magnitude of my faggotry
it is not for the rational mind
>>41570441
cum in my mouth

>>41570452
youre never alone if you allow men to use you for sex

your suffering will be immeasurable
your throat will be so dry you will not scream
and there will be no comfort but sleep
until the morning you finally don't awake

having completely dry orgasms cant be appealing to a single person i really ruined the shred of sex appeal i had because of a mind virus

>>41570467
nah i just want you to use my body to make you feel good

reppers and manmoders LOVE writing shitty poetry

roses are red violets are blue i want to stick my dick into you

>>41570492
my mouth? yum yum!

>>41570478
i dont think i could do that

What is the Third Estate? Everything.
What has it been hitherto in the political order? Nothing.
What does it desire? To become something.

are you listening to me through my phone

>>41570526
blah blah shitty fash larp poety

>>41570544
only because you're listening to me through mine

>>41566457
managed it all except the perfect town, can't tell if I have tiles without enough trees... still time to kms

I HATE WOMEN
I HATE BITCHES
I AM SEXIST
I HATE BEING AWAKE
I WANT TO SLEEP FOREVER
I DON'T WANNA
I DON'T WANNA
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

>>41570646
ok tranny

i wasted years being weird asf instead of lasering my body and now im cooked

got the perfect town I'm so cool and awesome and everyone loves me

>>41570928
you will never experience this in a world that matters

>>41570933
real life is gay

cut again

i need to be choked to death

once i lose weight and get rid of my body hair and accept my male face i will be happy

im a gay man

just had orchi

>>41570992
yes please cut a bit

if i get ffs will that mean gay men wont like me anymore? im starting to like my face despite being a never ever never passer

>>41571091
yes if you start looking like an adult woman, pedophiles won't be interested in you anymore

>>41571133
im not neotenous though im just a man

>>41571144
then gay men were never interest in you

>>41571151
but they are though

>>41569654
The life I want is someone who's not me. Every time I work towards that I just feel like I'm pretending. I want to go back to how I was, something broke in me that made me behave differently and now I can't change.

Every time I tried it just feels like a mask, an act, doesn't feel genuine. I don't actually care about anyone. I think I'm like a narcissist but one that just self pities itself all the time and thinks how I have it bad.

RIP my nigga i miss you so much already ;_;

>>41564698 (OP)
this guy really invaded that lady's apartment and got raped, this film is hilarious

pass?

>>41571620
fuck off scane

>>41571422
same worstie

>>41571620
as a lib? sure

Pussed out of asking the doctor about dysphoria again. Guess im going back to repgen

feeling awdul because of the things an anon said to me again

>>41571501
can i get raped?

>>41571738
We have so much in common, so when's the first date?

Also thinking about this more, some folks say well might as well try hrt if you'd kys, but I know I won't. I unfortunately made a promise to myself I'll keep going, I'm unfortunately too much of a coward as well

«this is your Stop, young Man» —tha Bus Driver
why errBody call me yung Mann tho
anywhy, tha bus inna small City free or $2, so why tha bus in muh big City cost More; fuck the Mayor bro i send his Ass to Islamic State for tha deHeading Vid.
>>41571620
>hates America
>hates Russia
>hates Saudi Arabia
>hates Israel
based
fuck the CIA and their Plan, my dear Cracker
TRANS POWER
TRANS POWER
>lesbian
>Minecraft
>Breaking Bad
>Salmon Nigiri
>WataMote
>GooTube Transbian
>radical Left Lunatic
muh Cracker, yeah! #relatable
come smoke Crack with mi. i'll suck your Dick

>>41571620
>atheist
of coourse!
of cooooouurse!!1
le Tranny Mind Virus is my only Religious
hail our People
hail Victory

The bus fare in your city is more expensive because that's how economics work, you simpleton.
Maybe if you spent less time on 4chan and more time educating yourself, you'd understand basic concepts.

get painkiller
still have pain

>>41564698 (OP)
no bc anyone who calls herself "realmoder" seems exhausting to be around

>>41564698 (OP)
no I started dating guys because it's too painful to date girls. I just get so jealous because I wish I could be pretty like them so so bad. and even my parents know it's hopeless for me to achieve that. they both separately made comments asking if I thought I was late in life to start hormones at 18.

>qott
no I started dating guys because it's too painful to date girls. I just get so jealous because I wish I could be pretty like them so so bad. and even my parents know it's hopeless for me to achieve that. they both separately made comments asking if I thought I was late in life to start hormones at 18.

>>41572556
but what if theyre a real moder what then

>>41572687
gross faggot

>>41572889
the brain is one of those things that will always feminize its the nost malleablee
no surgery nexessary

>>41571620
>filename

>>41571897
take your FUCKING hrt, retard

i wi nbaw

>>41572158
i will never get this, literally what's stopping you from taking hrt? maybe the estrogen makes you emotionally instable enough to 41% impulsively! and if youre not gonna pass anyway (like me), it quite literally does not matter whether or not you take it

im not dating you before you take your fucking pills first

it's not easy being a pro-israel 'moder

>>41573136
forcefem gf >_<

>>41572889
wow. so true.

>>41573143
probably very easy to be white and annoying all things considered
>>41573136
yeah i agree. i got on hrt as a last shot and i pass now. incredibly surreal past 2-3 years

Good afternoon, I hate men

Hang me from the gallows in front of 'em all
Look at me dead and say, "Problem is solved"
Is it so wrong, if I want to die, want to die?
Is it so wrong, if I want to cry, want to cry?

>>41572556
mean

>>41573169
kys

>>41573149
it's only forcefemming if hrt actually works for you lmao

palliative care general for some
teehee uwu boymode for others

i should be killed during sex fo bing a disgusting failtroon man

i should be given more painkillers

I should be heeded, worshipped, and adored

i should stroke my little chode till i nut

>>41573584
i fucking swear some of you are femboys

cried a lot today but not for tranny reasons

>>41573734
I'm a fem-MAN

>>41573136
I mean it does matter, it gives you boobs, makes you infertile.

And I'd rather not kill myself or become more emotionally unstable. As much as I find my life kind of numb and meaningless I do want to see it through

i'm a mascman
like a femboy who's not fem and too old to be a boy but otherwise the same

im twinkdead with cones on my chest

if you got to be a twink i hate you and wish you pain

>>41573873
does this apply if i was a fully grown muscular man by 18

i looked like skinny christian bale when i satrted hrt

>>41573873
twinks are adults retard

>>41571133
how are you so constantly obsessed with pedophilia any topic there is you draw conversation into it

>>41573916
>>41573885

i gained 60 pounds as an 18 year old instead of starting hrt

>>41573895
SAME

>>41573935
i found pictures of myself and you can see my ribcage jutting out from under my shoulders even when i’m like 16 bmi lmao

>>41573998
ok mine was only 19 but still... lol it was bad, I was skinny coping as a last ditch effort

third degree oat made transitioning have 0 downsides for me

>>41574024
yeah idk how i brainwashed myself into that one… it made me so ugly too i looked like a skinwalker

some people get on hrt and get to be women while i have to be an ugly man for the rest of my life

my new haircut makes me look like a guy :(

i dont know what to do with my hair, its just kinda unkempt and long

>>41570544
are you kissing me through the phone?

>>41573785
>want to see it through
legitimately, why ?

>>41574268
i think they were already women before hrt tbdesu

>>41574648
i was a woman before and hrt turned me into a man

>>41574616
There's still a lot of movies I haven't seen, games I haven't played, cool tjpw wrestling matches to watch, death stranding 2 on pc.

But also just because I'm curious if it really does get better because it seems like it'll just get worse, no irl friends means no social support network when my parents eventually die

>>41572556
then why are you in the real moder pissing contest thread?

>>41572556
fuck yeah I am

>>41574536
same :/

>>41575079
i think about going to the hairdresser often but i dont know what to ask them for that might be okay and itll just end up making me look more male because im an adult man so obviously they will cut me like one

people holding doors for me will never be not funny
>>41574824
beats me

>>41573919
what. I was just being homophobic desu

>>41575142
exactly, the idea of going to a hairdresser and asking for a more feminine cut is kind of terrifying, and with all the stories i hear about butch women ending up with feminine haircuts because their hairdressers said they didn’t want to make it too masculine make me think i’ll just get the reverse. instead i just trim it every so often and hope it doesn’t look too terrible

>>41575528
i just wish i could have something that didnt look so autistic and maybe hide my skull a bit, but alas
at least winter is upon us so i can wear hats all the time finally

my dysphoria is still bad

>>41575723
ahaha

>>41575566
i cut my own bangs to help hide my skull

I push my fingers into my EEEEEEYES

old moders mentally still in high school

>>41575965
I never left the year 2003

>>41575965
i feel like im mentally in middle school
maybe thats just because i dropped out of high school

>>41575972
I look like this and say this

my transition failed

>>41576063
me, too
even bing is calling me a jew, now
i am the ultimate jew
i already ate a bagel and a kosher hotdog today
it has come time to accept that i will always be 1,000% semitic
even bing calls me jewish
this is actually insane
it calls me jewish repeatedly
i knew i was the jew
i knew it all along
why is everyone lying to me just to protect me from the truth of how fucking jewish i've become

>>41576136
you're like a 5'6 grandmamother stfu

>>41576136
get your israeli citizenship

>Peter Doherty was born in Hexham, Northumberland, to a military family. His father, Peter John Doherty, was a major in the Royal Signals, while his mother, Jacqueline Michels, was a lance-corporal in Queen Alexandra's Royal Army Nursing Corps. His paternal grandfather was an Irish immigrant from Cheekpoint in County Waterford; his maternal grandfather was Jewish, the son of immigrants, Moise Michels and Chana Peress, from France and Russia.
i don't think i can get any more jewish than this
and i was just eating challah bread with lox only days ago
this is the truth inside
i have finally unlocked the genetic truth
it's the ancient jewish DNA that makes me so schizo
it's my jewish powers that allowed me to get straight As in high school while also having social anxiety
all because of the jews
not only was jewish what bing labelled me in literally every suggested search
but the first result on pictriev? also genetically semitic. this explains my big nose
i have finally become the most feminized incel
the ultimate weak, short little jew
and every day i become shorter, weaker, and more jewish
>>41576141
you ignorant fool. the internet called me a jew. therefore i have become jewish. it's definitive proof. the AI says i am a jew therefore i have become a member of the hebrew nation. you can tell by my face i am probably related to jesus

>>41576136
>>41576258
what's your 23andme say?

>a man taking a picture of himself in a mirror, inspired by Ion Andreescu, reddit, wearing tall combat boots, dark minimal outfit, fullbody photo, non-binary
I am the only real manmoder

>>41576266
i am not giving my DNA to the CIA
another reverse image search says i'm Palestinian. it's literally in the first result. this makes sense, since Palestinians and Jews are from the same place, right? so they're probably genetically the same
clearly i am being targeted by the CIA because i am a member of Hamas now. i can see it all now clearly. death to America. death to Israel. victory to Islam. i am Palestinian now. where do i go to join Hamas? is there a recruitment center in New York i can show up to? i am moving to New York now that i know i'm Jewish. i'll be the first Jewish member of Hamas and bring death to America from inside its borders. hail jihad! hail our people! hail victory!

when do i get to marry another man

>>41576362
shut up wife beater

new thread
>>41574579
>>41574579
>>41574579

>>41576450
MTFS find me STRANGE and UNSETTLING because they can see my ESTROGENIZED SKIN but I LOOK LIKE A CHAD and they dont know WGMHAG IT MEANS

>13 year old me
>know I'm trans and dysphoric
>choose to do nothing thinking I will kill myself before I become an adult or that somehow everything will be alright
>22 today
>6'2 manmoder (3 years HRT) with size 10.5 feet (men's)
my life is a total joke and I ruined it myself

i just want a man to beat me to death for an orgasm

>14 year old me
>know I wish I was a girl but don't know about hrt or dysphoria or anything but cross-dressing and surgery like susanplace and maury hons
>choose to dodge and deflect questions about my identity and lack of masculinity or wanting my body hair gone
>36 today
>6'0 manmoder (5 years HRT) with size 10.5 feet (men's)
life is a total joke and I'm just here to laugh

>>41576590
I brought up transitioning to my mom and she just ignored me

>>41576599
I didn't really know it was something you could do or how it worked besides basically being a drag queen or getting fake tits/pussy so I didn't even ask, but my parents shut it down when I said I wanted to be a girl as a really young kid (and I still don't remember what they said or what happened but I started repressing actively then)

>>41576450
actually got me :(

>>41576599
real except sometimes they would laugh in my face, sometimes they would argue with me, and sometimes they would ignore me altogether. i also got many impassioned speeches about how women dont like bisexual men so i cant be gay despite me being a gold star not a bifag

stop lamenting and start living the now

but my body?

>>41576702
I am trying

I found a way to change my name for free so I'm thinking about doing but it would absolutely nuke my chances of employment (they're already 0)

>>41576702
i cant get a clean shave

>>41576587
i hope you mean for him to have an orgasm