Thread 41652998

Keanu edition
>QOTT: Who is your favorite celebrity?
Previous thread: >>41610702

AAAAAAAAAAAHHH I HATE HAVING FUCKING TRANNY THOUGHTS BUT ALSO BEING ATTRACTED TO TWINKS FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE

not the keanu again

i’ll never be happy and that’s okay (:

>>41652998 (OP)
I never really liked celebrity culture all that much but David Tennant's a cool guy.

I'll never be a woman and that's okay, life is too brief to worry about this sort of thing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2j9czKavFFc

>>41653105
im just deep down a chill guy who goes with the flow

>>41653119
>im just deep down a chill guy who goes with the flow
let a man cope a little D:

>female coworkers regularly go on tangents about why being a woman sucks
ok all of their takes are real and completely understandable and i would complain as well if i were female but still don't need to rub it in like that

Bros I had dysphoria every day for over 3 months and it seems like it completely stopped last night. Do people just achieve integration eventually?

>>41653178
it'll probably come back in a day

>>41652969
How well does that work?

i hate irl women but i want to be a hot anime girl

>feeling bugs i can't see
repchads do you have a solution

>>41653119
Is this you?

I wish I had the strength to start hrt but I'm retarded and think I'm faketrans and that I'm gonna regret it in the future
can a lobotomy safe me or do I just rope
>captcha has hrt in it

i love feeling insane, even if i tried to get on hrt i'm too far gone to ever like myself anyway
>>41653975
dig em out obviously

>desperately want to get on hrt but am too broke to afford even diy
god is sending me a message to keep repping

>>41654737
trvth nvke. bf who helps me with this transition when

This is all just a psychosis, nothing more

>>41653056
I had this really cute twink coworker who was obviously into me at one point, but just standing next to / hulking over him made me want to kms because of how much more innately feminine he was than I could ever hope to be

Maybe i can cope if i get a nice VR headset and a good voice changer, so i can be a girl in a virtual world

>>41654550
a year's supply is like 50?

my life is such a joke and i really need to end it

>>41655433
same
I just don't know what to do or have the drive to succeed at what I know I should

>>41655621
i know what i have to do but yeah i just can't
i hope things get better for you

>see post ffs passer
>manvoice
I'll never understand these gooners, voice is what I'm most dysphoric about probably and I'm basically mute because of it

who here /nnn/?

>>41655763
cringe and reddit

>>41655763
lost day 1

I only come here to make myself feel like less of a freak, validate myself and commiserate. My own mother called me a freak when I said I wanted to be a girl. I told her it was just a phase and she likes me again. Which is sort of true. I don't feel the same obsessive, life halting desire to transition and can recognise how stupid it would be considering how my body looks and that I would never be able to perform femininity, will be off-putting and and eyesore to others etc. but I still get faggoty agp urges.

>>41655290
I'm trying to live vicariously through forcefem fantasies and genderbend stories. If I just read them and don't look at myself I can imagine I'm a girl.

>>41655821
you know she is lying to you, right? unless she's some mormon gypsy woman without internet access she is fully aware you're a tranny. you've opened pandora's box by telling her

>>41656061
>repgen
>manmoder
leave

>>41656083
I haven't started hrt yet, it's more the dread that this could be my life

>>41656072
Cisoids don't know much about trannies. A lot of them legitimately do think it's a phase.

>>41656091
when I was trans and dating cis women they'd all ask about my breasts like surgery was the only option. They don't even know hrt exists beyond this nebulous destructive castrating therapy news hints at

>>41656091
Its amazing how little they know, and you cant correct them without outing yourself

my sister once asked me if I wanted to be a woman when I was in a femmy goth phase and I always wonder what she would say if I answered yes because my family is otherwise firmly in the "they let people identify as cats and now they have to install doggy doors at schools so they don't feel excluded and can crawl through them" camp of deranged

>>41656101
Why’d you detrans? Are you still dysphoric?

>>41656188
I didn't really pass and being trans makes you a pariah here.
Yes, but it's a dull pain now.

damn i'm just going to be a gross old moid seething about not being a woman

>>41656072
I don't think you read my post right... What did she lie about? And I may be spiritually a tranny but I haven't acted on it in anyway Beyond makeup and crossdressing like, twice.

How it feels to reincarnation cope

>>41656288
How does it feel knowing your entire personality can change with some brain trauma? Why would the gray matter that makes up your sense of self persist?
We have one life and yours is an unhappy one

>>41656300
Personality ≠ consciousness
And I've had a skull fracture and a concussion 2 separate incidents and I really didn't change much.
I would actually be happy if my personality changed if I reincarnated.

>>41656273
imo she's lying about liking you/not seeing you as a freak anymore as you said
At least in my experience once you tell people you're a tranny you're branded for life and at least I wasn't ever able to overcome having told someone, no matter what I did later. Maybe that's an issue with me tho, sorry if I misunderstood you

>>41656346
most parents don't believe their child can be trans, maybe others but definitely not their child

>>41656315
real. honestly, the only way to fix me is to get me a new brain altogether, this one is no good.

>>41656353
This. My parents actually found my hrt once, and it didn't even cross their mind that I may be trans.

>Dysphoria from being masculine
>Take hrt
>heavy anxiety and worsening dissociation 5 months in, likely reverse dysphoria

I wasnt supposed to be alive anyways

>>41656411
This happened to me as well, and I've detransitioned twice because of it. Someone suggested it might be due to too high estrogen levels, but I never got my levels checked, so I didn't know whether that was the case

>omg take your hrt now!!
>wdym you still look like a man? it's only been a year, give it time.
>still getting called sir? it's only been 2 years, things are still going to change!
>it's only been 4 years
>it's only been 5 years
>it's only been...
>you know, passing isn't everything
the troon ideology only works if you pass eventually, and it completely falls apart once you tear up the lies that HRT can do that for everyone.

>>41656460
If you're not already androgynous don't bother.

>>41656425
hardly related but when I first took prog I had the worst bout of dysphoria I've ever felt. Not reverse dysphoria though

>>41656353
>>41656384
could be, my mother's a terf and kinda homophobic so I haven't really taken my chance with coming out, not that there's any reason to since I'm dryrepping anyways
glad you could repair your relationship with your mom if that's the case

>>41656523
I really wish reverse dysphoria wasn't a thing. It's the only thing keeping me repping

>>41656425

This is my second time as well though the first time wasnt this long. I have no way to check my levels atm. I am going to try and adjust the dosage but if that doesnt do it it might actually be over

Or im just this much of a retard because thats possible too

>>41656549
you're not trans tbf

>fapping spree
>feeling nice and gay and cool
>wholesome gay attraction starts wearing off
>start fapping to women again
>trans thoughts begin to appear

>>41656616
Yay, being a man is awesome! It definitely doesn't make me want to skin myself alive, no no. I love it here

>>41656300
if only you knew

>>41655849
My fantasies are about having the power to shapeshift into a girl even if it’s just for a limited time, or possession, but that last one feels evil so i try not to think about it
>>41656896
>i hate my health
It really sucks taking care of yourself and having people tell you stuff like “looking great man” only to still feel disgusting inside

i fantasize about being raped after being feminized forcibly

>>41656896
you have reverse dysphoria though?

>>41657204
that'll get you 10 years behind bars in the UK

>>41657426
why?

>>41657414
I do, but I wish I didn't so I could stop being a man. I can't be anything but a man though

>>41657435
thoughtcrime

I wish I was trans but the truth is I can live with being a man even if I wish I was a woman

>>41655781
I want to look like her, and do very nasty things with her. Thought my libido had died recently with the suicidal depression, but I guess it's still lingering

>>41657204
This has been my fantasy many, many years now. I wanna say it's a common one amongst us rep types.

>>41657169
>possession
i can imagine entering some stacy i hate, masturbating with her body, then setting her up for death or outright getting her killed if my soul returns to my body

I WISH I WAS A WOMAN

>>41657548
same bestie

>>41655252
I guess I wouldn't really say I'm into skinny shorter guys, but I do prefer men who are attractive in a more beautiful or feminine way. But I know I'm not supposed to be.

>>41657169
I don't feel evil because cisoids are all stupid bitches and deserve it.

>>41656155
When I was a budding young femboy my parents said 'do you want to be a girl'. I kinda wish I had said yes. They're pretty progressive but I don't know how they'd react, but also I think it's better to just get it over with. I'm too much of a pussy to come out now.

>>41656114
The worst thing is that they all think they're actual experts on it. Like they'll lecture you on dysphoria and biology and social acceptance based on some shit they saw in a tiktok, and expect you to be amazed at their incredible unique knowledge.

I've been thinking about this a lot and I legit don't think I'm into guys physically. Keep trying to find excuses for why I don't enjoy having sex with them (nerves, anxiety, body issues etc). It's like I'm forcing myself because it would make my dysphoria feel more real and valid... which sounds stupid, and probably is stupid, but I'm clearly stupid. Can't find a girl to either to test this theory out, and escorts wouldn't work either because of the transactional nature of it. Hate my stupid retarded brain so much.

>>41655433
i think this sentence daily

>>41657610
god incel trannies are the worst...

I just feel disgusting all the time. I want it to stop.

>>41658557
im an incel tranny but i dont act like that how can you want to be a woman and act like that ew

>>41658557
inceldom and trannyism are both linked

>>41658607
We say these things because we can't be women so we end up hating those who can.

i had a dream a week ago where i was hanging out with some girls (about 5 people including me), near what seemed to be a distorted version of my high school. the place looked familiar, but the entrance was very different.
we kept talking about random stuff, and then, out of nowhere, the mother of one of the girls shows up. she sits in the other side of the bench i was sitting in (3 of the girls were standing, me and someone else were sitting, but the bench could fit 3 people), and she justs starts talking. not sure what exactly she said, but it didn't seem very important.
then, the girl next to me moves her head, preparing to get up, and the mother sees me. cue the most intense stare i've ever felt, basically picrel.
she immediately starts barraging me with questions, like who i was, why i was there, where i came from. i didn't answer. she immediately goes on about how i'm a terrible influence for the girls and that i shouldn't be near them, and although she never said it, i knew it was because i was a dude. then she gets up and walks away without breaking eye contact.
then i woke up.
i can't get a break from this even in my dreams. doomed to be male even in my own head.

>>41658832
no??? i want to be a woman so i try to act like one and think like one and youre a moid for hating them

>>41658907
this is some cringe performative mindset. Lots of women hate women.

>>41658907
I am a moid. My time to troon out has passed. I'm sick of all these luckshits who were born with tits and act like they're the greatest people on Earth for it.

>>41659014
I'm sick of the moidshits putting them on pedestals too

>>41659063
Genuinely, if you're a hot woman you can get away with murder. Some of them seem actively insulted when I treat them like a regular person instead of a perfect angel.

>>41658955
yes i hate some women duh but i like to think of myself as a woman and not treat women like some distant single group
>>41659014
im also super not passing and ngmi, sorry nona :( im very envious too

>>41657548
>I want to look like her
Thankfully for you, BBL's always an option. Can't say I've seen one of that scale on a troon, though.

Fuck my life.
I have my ups and downs but these past few days I have been so depressed that I can't force myself to do anything. I have to work on a project and the deadline is itching closer and closer yet I have not worked not even a single minute on it in the 10-ish days. I feel like throwing up from when I wake up until I fall asleep even though I did not even throw up not even once since this started. I also feel like I lost some weight. I just sit on my ass and stare at the wall and lay in bed all day.
I'll turn a year older soon and I can't get these horrible thoughts out of my head of how I wasted my teens and my young adult years because I was too depressed to do anything. I don't know how to get back on track from this state and work on that project, /repgen/.

i think there is a repper at my job

>>41655323
yeah i'm BROKE broke

repgen feels a lot worse recently

>>41659725
you sound like you're fishing for a christmas present

>>41659843
worse how

>>41659875
I posted here and ruined the thread with one (1) post.
Sorry

>>41659845
fuck no i'm not retarded enough to give out my personal info to someone on this board, i'm just here to whine like everyone else

>>41660087
technically you could just ask for crypto and then take care of the rest yourself

>>41660096
i guess but i'll stick to whining, thanks. anyone willing to give out free hrt money to random anons should give it to someone younger and hotter than me

>>41656288
>those digits
we're making to hyperborea in the next life sister

I think I'm going mad.

>>41659725
NEED broke repper gf to share hrt with

>>41660516
need another neet repper gf to cuddle with even though were both ngmi and look like man

>>41652998 (OP)
take your HRT, retards

>>41660516
you could make me do little tricks for it... holding it above my head while i hop up and down...

>>41660588
pls be in england

sum a' ya mite naught agree
cuz ya prolly likes a lotta misaree
but think a hwile an ya will sea
broken harts arr four asswholes...
so wutcha gonna doo...
cuz yer an asswhole...
meyby ya think yer a loanly gye
ore meyby ya think yer two tuff too cruy
so ya wen too da graipe juss to gividda try...

>>41660340
marcille wouldnt say that

thinking about getting heavily into jacobitism as repper cope
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wxJuwqIPxL4

>>41659843
when has this thread ever been good
>>41660649
no

>>41660744
im so sorry :( im not
i really hope you can find someone like this nona goodluck

>>41661090
>t. 18th century repper

>>41660744
LONDON

>>41661436
>forsooth verily i say i will never pass
>*cries into powdered wig*

Men are hot and love their strong bodies and love how they can penetrate. Women are hot and I want to stick my pp in them. Trans people are just weird and unattractive. They have the wrong genitals. Even trans people with surgery look wrong. It's just all wrong.

>>41661369
Heartbreaking news

>>41661444
Also heartbreaking

>>41661545
wya?

>>41661600
I'm a little outside of Manchester

>>41661489
>the monty python blokes preferred to dress up like girls and pretend to be girls instead of just casting girls for the roles
>they're all transphobes now
britain is really the ultimate repper nation when you think about it

>>41661644
It's because they're all so ugly you can't tell the difference.

Why not just be a feminine gay man without hrt?

>>41661754
balding

>>41661772
duta, fin, hair transplants, many things you can do for that besides estrogen
derma-rolling
minoxidil

>>41661754
I'm 6'4

>>41661790
>duta, fin
only stops further loss so if you're already obviously balding they won't do much
>dermarolling, min
will help a little bit but unless you're a hyperresponder they're not going to fix a fucked up hairline
>hair transplants
just be rich bro

>>41661790
duta gave me breasts fuck this recommendation

>>41660649
Glad to see you nona.

>>41661790
>duta
poison
>fin
slightly less poison
>hair transplants
You still need to take one earlier poisons and they're expensive and don't last forever
>derma-rolling
>minoxidil
Stopgap

>>41661754
I'm not into men, and believe me, I've tried so hard to be

>>41661961
straight men don't exist

honest question for the hrt reppers itt: does it help at all? i'm never gonna pass, i've accepted that, but i always see people saying "even if you don't pass estrogen will still make you feel better, it's like an antidepressant for dysphoria, etc". is that stuff true or is it just cope?

>into men
>just as forcefem
I would probably crack if I ever did though

>>41661975
You misspelled lesbian women

>>41660649
If I did, my life would explode in ways you couldn’t possibly fathom

>>41660744
>england
a fate worse than repping

>>41662139
it's ok. I'm stuck in a shithole town though, but I still manage to find some moments of peace even in this hellscape

>>41658846
oooooff im sorry faggot there is no escape and its traumatic
also this is relatable

>>41661793
where are you from anon

I just cant get over how being trans is disgusting. I would never be happy as a trans person. I want to be a real woman. If I can't then no matter how much I could pass, I would rather just be a cis man.

what are the optimal repper habits? i get stuff like:
>getting on fin/duta
>growing out hair
>skin care routine
>get some friends
>religion cope
>exercising lower body to have a more feminine shape
but what else? i'm honestly warming up to the idea of just being a feminine man, so give me some tips, please.

>>41662566
>hrt

>>41662566
>meth
>also meth
>more meth
>even more meth

>>41662554
Having a dick is kind of cool at least, it's like a stress ball that's attached to you

What are your “tranny thoughts” like? I think my masculine persona is really awkward and when I let the femme out I’m way more confident and clear but it ends up being really incongruent with my appearance. Like it isn’t male femininity.

>>41662827
mine are less "thoughts" and more genuine, raw discomfort. i don't think of myself as a woman in a man's body or anything of the sort, i just feel physical anguish over my form. as such, i do not have a "male" or "female" persona i wear at different times.
i do wish i could be more "truetrans" in a mental sense, even thought that would just make things vastly worse for me, but at least i'd get some confirmation that i am, in fact, a tranny, and not some porn-rotted freak that's going to reap what he sowed. i'm not a woman in body or mind, no matter how much i dream of this being different.

It's hard to know anymore who's actually trans and who's just coerced into it by the harsh expectations for men.

>>41663445
I think the later group is smaller than you think and is more likely to fall into the boomer sissy clique than the repper clique.

>>41663445
Well that’s a bit of a philosophical problem with “being trans”. Gender is a social construct, you aren’t born with a sense of gender. It’s internalized over time, mostly during childhood but refinement happens over the course of your lifetime. So you can say “you’re only trans because you’re trying to meet society’s expectations” and you’d be largely correct. However you can’t simply opt out of gender, it’s not possible. Your life has to be liveable, and that means your gender has to be intelligible to others. Hence the distress at not matching what you identify yourself to be.

>>41663493
>>41663552
I think LGBT roles are mostly determined by the people that we hate and view to be evil.

>>41663602
I don’t know what you mean

>Get AGP thoughts and decide to shave my legs for the first time ever
>get extremely horny over how soft and feminine they look
>genuinely considering buying thigh highs
My legs are the only part of my body that can kind of pass off as feminine and it makes me horny but also sad that the rest of my body doesn't look as nice :(

>>41663602
I think that's nonsense. The first time I ever started having tranny thoughts was pretty much a quiet little revelation without any stigma attached to it, because I was too young to know about any of this. Meanwhile I realized I was bi after I had performatively started hating gay people to fit into my family. So for one my 'role' developed organically without ANY outside exposure, and for the other my role developed even after investing in ''hate and view to be evil.'
>>41663552
I also think this one is incorrect, because kids have been shown to develop an innate sense of gender. It's at least partially biological, if not entirely in the roles themselves, at the very least in the basic identification with male or female.

>>41663622
Faggy queer effeminate person is always understood to be inferior or wrong in some way.

>>41663700
I’m sure biology plays a role but kids are socialized. There’s psychology involved and much of what we ascribe to sexed behavior is just gender, social norms.

The internet is just one big fucking brainworm

>>41662566
alcohol

>>41663445
>>41663493
I'm definitely in the coerced group maybe this is too armchair psychologist but i think i know exactly what happened to me, i used to look extremely feminine as a kid to the point that literally everyone thought i was a girl then around 12 i had an early puberty and got really tall with a wide frame which made kids my age make fun of me a lot while my relatives literally told me shit like "aww you used to be so cute you looked like a girl" at the time it didn't make wish i was a woman until way later but it did make me wish i was more feminine/girly looking.

I like attractive men, but even that is malebrained

i've decided that dying as john 27 is slightly more dignified than living to be john 50, so i'm checking out. hope all you guys/girls find happiness in whatever forn it might take. see ya

it is kinda weird the feeling of resignation that i'm going to be nonfunctional the rest of my life. like the only things left for me are increasingly bad nervous breakdowns between the periods where i think i'm fine, then killing self
>>41664300
godspeed and don't pick a method that'll leave you too bad off if you fail

If I were to kill myself I'd go full larp mode and cut my stomach open harakiri style.

Holy shit straight female pov porn is so rare it drives me insane

i don't have the balls to kill myself so i'm probably a fakerepper

>>41664300
i love you, i hope it doesn't hurt too much, goodbye....

SOMETIMES I THINK ABOUT CUTTING MY DICK OFF AND BECOMING AN ASEXUAL BUDDHIST MONK

>>41653056
go outside