Thread 24644541

"Not Making it Out Alive" edition

Previous: >>24631247

/wg/ AUTHORS & FLASH FICTION: https://pastebin.com/ruwQj7xQ
RESOURCES & RECOMMENDATIONS: https://pastebin.com/nFxdiQvC

Please limit excerpts to one post.
Give advice as much as you receive it to the best of your ability.
Follow prompts made below and discuss written works for practice; contribute and you shall receive.
If you have not performed a cursory proofread, do not expect to be treated kindly. Edit your work for spelling and grammar before posting.
Violent shills, relentless shill-spammers, and grounds keeping prose, should be ignored and reported.
(And maybe double-space your WIPs to allow edits if you want 'em.)

Simple guides on writing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pHdzv1NfZRM [Embed]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whPnobbck9s [Embed]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAKcbvioxFk [Embed]

Thread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcTQCNntGEs

I made a goof in the thread title. I hope the well-adjusted members of /lit/ don't rip me to shreds over it

Hey guys ! What's the hardest sentence you've ever written ? Here's mine —
>Aninini crested the Black Hillock and gazed over her lands; she could see the Castle and the Town, and beyond, she could see her destiny... stretching into the infinite horizon.

>>24644578
"Soldiers of Karkassia! Today we inscribe our names in the blood and bone of eternity!"

>>24644578
>Anininicetits breasted the Black Hillcock and glazed over the glands; beyond, she could see her butt-whole....stretching into the infinite horizon.
I made it harder.

>>24644608
Wow ! That's a real riveting tour de force ! Kudoes !!

>>24644578
Here's mine:

Her menstrual blood flowed like the waters of the Tigris and the blood of slaves and tyrants and fools and like fell like the stars upon the stone basin of the Earth.

>>24644611
Anything would be an improvement over "she could see her destiny dot dot dot"

Also wouldn't it be "toward" the infinite horizon, instead of into? Is Anininicetit's destiny being swallowed up by the horizon, along with the few brain cells you have left?

>>24644641
I'm just fucking around man. I wrote the sentence and all the replies as dumb drunk jokes to entertain myself because Sundays are full of drudgery and flat darkness

>>24644578
How's mine ?

She walked into the room on seven substances, glowing like the sunrise; like lonely flowers, all faces turned slowly towards her, basking in her chemical radiance.

write a story about this picture.

>>24644810
I was made in Foshan by a mother of three whose fingerprints had been worn by work to nothing. I spent three months in a container and crossed three seas. I lived three years at a store with my kind that laundered money for the Triads. I was bought by a drug dealer and cast upon the floor in a trap house. When the police took him I was dragged in the dead of a cold night out to the woods and I've been there ever since. They come and have bad sex on my back and once a baby was born that did not live the night. My fabric holds remnant of urine and semen and blood. Sometimes the sun breaks through the trees and I am clean, for a while. When it rains I never dry. I am proud of my life. The tweakers call me the aids mattress. I do not mind the name.

I finished my screenplay and I would like /lit/ to read it. If this is shilling I won't do it for more than a few threads. I'll be reading in return itt.

>"Sometimes on a Hill a Salamander"
https://files.catbox.moe/prm82t.pdf

I know screenplays aren't usually written like this (although there is less standardization than people claim), but screenplays can and have been used as mediums in themselves, providing more than the blueprints for an eventual movie. In fact if you read your favorite writer-director's screenplays, they're probably more prose oriented than you'd think.

>>24645011
I will read it anon. I cannot guarantee it will be to the end, but I will read it. Are you looking for feedback or is it final draft ?

>>24645047
thank you. this is more or less a final draft after having revised it for a few years. you can drop it guilt free after page 25, and definitely after 35 if it hasn't hooked you.

>>24644541 (OP)
I'm planning on including an alchemically created version of gold in my story's setting, and I need a name for it that isn't Orichalcum or Aurum (Or "Alchemist's Gold). Does anyone have any suggestions for me please?

>>24645013
>>24645128
I have read twenty-five pages, and I will read the screenplay to the end. I have enjoyed it very much so far. The words are as clear and clean as a mountain stream. The children's dialogue is believable yet quite beautiful. I loved the uncommon diction placed between the clarity of language: the use of 'breve and semibreve', 'subsequent repearts', festooned', 'minim', all musical and delicious. Excellent and inspiring descriptions of movement and articulation. And the specific details: the Aldar tree, the runeberg tortes, the fuchsia jersey. This is the first time I have read a story set in Finland, and the place names and name names gave it a sense of both grounding and the faraway.

The hook for me came at the 'I want to eat the world' line from Mari. I did feel the start was slow, but it is a screenplay after all. I'm looking forward to getting into the world-projected-inside-a-world. Well done. I can feel how much love and time you put into this.

>>24645579
thank you very much :) very kind. if you do read it to the end, pay attention to a certain pen and the time of the private lesson to get the most out of it.

>>24645261
Aurumchalcum

>>24645261
Imali

was watching a video where the screen writer for taxi driver gave his method of how he wrote taxi driver

its

personal problem--------metaphor-----------plot

problem: feeling alienated and disconnected

metaphor: a lonely taxi driver

plot: you all know the plot to taxi driver


So, not a literal story, but an experience disguised as a story

so like if you were gay in the closet, you lead a double life, you could write that as an action spy thriller

>>24645831
>anon learns what a conceit is
everyone is doing this already

>>24645865
i know what a conceit is, he just explained it so simply instead of overcomplicating things.


*shrugs

>>24645831
i'm glad you had this insight anon. now you can finally read books.

>>24645831
imagine being deniro in that movie and having to dleiver that line to jodie foster when she was a little kid

On a particularly rainy day, medieval role players practiced fighting historically accurate battles in an open space under cover of the pavilion. Their coach was a history buff who made sure everyone fought in ways that they would have in real life. While many worked on their form around the sides, the first battle was between two soldiers in chainmail who each carried a short sword and square shield. They circled each other with their shields raised and swords positioned in a way I hadn’t seen before. Instead of holding the sword before themselves as though they were fencing, they carried it on their shoulders with all the energy ready to be unleashed- crashing it down before swiftly returning it where it rested. The opponent would block with their shield and perform the same whipping motion with their sword as they tried to wear one another out. After a few minutes one could no longer raise his shield and the fight ended.

The next fighters were two guys in leather armor who carried long wooden poles, the tips of which were blunted and had cloth wrapped around them to prevent actually hurting someone when they jabbed. The historian explained to everyone around that two spearmen would rarely fight direct battles, instead they would form long lines and get into a deadlock against another long line of spearmen. Death often came not from the guy directly across from you but diagonally, like a pawn in chess.

He set their spears on the ground and measured a few lines where they couldn’t cross that would represent a formation of spearmen. He then had them stand at these spaces about 10 feet apart while they tried to stab each other with the blunted sticks without moving left or right. The fight between these two was much more tense than the previous, their inability to move resulted in a labored effort to maintain leverage against the other’s spear to prevent it being thrust. Eventually one executed a brilliant flourish and smacked the other in the helmet with the end of his stick, ending the battle.

How do you address complex topics like characters’ gender identities and sexual orientations in your narrative, especially when the story is not about queer topics per se?

>>24646172
this is probably the single worst place on the internet to ask that question, unless you are laying irresistible bait for the common-spotted Chudfish.

>>24646172
>when the story is not about queer topics
they you don't deal with it

>>24644578
"As soon as I shove this hot poker up my ass, I'm going to rip my dick off!" the Pope shouted to a roomful of stunned cardinals.

>>24646216
Yup that's hard as a mf. Which pope exactly ? Boniface ?

>>24646192
You still need to get to know the characters, don’t you?
>>24646179
Lol this place doesn’t even have downvoting.

>>24646220
It's speculative fiction, so it's a Pope that hasn't been elected yet.

>>24646265
Let's pray your speculations are sourced from prophecy. I shall count the days until Pope Poker's coronation.

>>24644810
zimmy
wuz walkin innawoods
wen he spotted
a mattress
& thoughted
>that
>will go nicely
>in
>our tunnel
so he tooked it
& putted it
in2 their tunnel
where it stayed
until the nyc dept of buildings
& the nypd
put a stop
2 all
the
שפּאַס

>>24646224
Here, silence and few replies are often great compliments. You will know when anons disagree.

>>24646303
my stepmom used to type like this. we called it meth stanzas. do you perhaps hold similar hobbies ?

>>24646224
if it's such an issue for you to deal with and your story is not about it, you are not required to use such characters

Anyone care to read through a Chapter 10 excerpt that's 2.8k words long? It's political low-fantasy and I'm asking for feedback regarding prose and scene-building, the latter my biggest struggle in writing.


https://medium.com/@panosfrag/chapter-10-excerpt-p-78d5e902cec1

>>24645011
i did
12 pages

its
breddy gud
& i am there in that world
& i want 2 c wat happoons next
& i want 2 c wat happoons @ the end

i like how
it opens in a lot of
eventful quiet
with the
back & 4th between
the room
& the tree
& the scenes of mope
& then in2 the uno
& then the first words
from her

its meditational

its
breddy gud

melikes

are there any pros to using scrivener over something simpler like word or google docs?

>>24646441
Scrivener tries to be more than a word processor and feels bloated for it. It wants to be an outlining tool, it wants to help you organize research notes as "subdocuments", it even wants to be version control software for editing and revising. The UI for Scrivener basically forces you to incorporate it into your writing process at every stage. I don't care for it, because I've been writing for a long time and already have well established methods for doing these things. Plus, I don't like being locked into a specific software suite for these things.

>>24646441
>using anything
>"moar" than
>txt

https://lorakanlighthouse.blogspot.com/2025/08/the-ham-size-of-hitler.html?m=1

Someone read my blog and tell me where I need to improve. Danke

>>24646396
The brawl scene was a little short and undetailed. I like your short paragraphs and generally your writing is professional. I found one or two grammar mistakes, but overall high-quality.

>>24646701
Thanks for the feedback. I didn't mean it to he a sprawling brawl but more like a shout-off between the various attendees, sort off like those political debates where one political representative talks over another and there's an overall ruckus brewing.

Perhaps I did not make that clear in my writing and I'll need to revise. Multi-character scenes will always be my bane. I'll always either generalize their reactions ("the crowd", "the attendants", etc) or I'll just fill the page with proper nouns.

>my chapters are only about 1k words
It's over. I suck at writing.

>>24646801
Mine are like 5k lul

>>24646801
Is that their final length, or your first draft length? When writing a novel, your first goal is to just get your story/plot/characters/themes/etc. out of your head and into a tangible medium. The first draft can be too long in places and too short in others; that's OK. Trust that it'll come together during editing. Your first editing passes will be more like "elaboration"; at some point, during the normal course of daydreaming, you'll come up with ways to expand on what you've written already. When your novel has incorporated the effect of several of these, it'll finally be time to edit, which doesn't just mean to trim things down, but to adjust what you've written to achieve the sort of pacing you want. In other words, you're not doing anything wrong; just let the process of novel-writing happen the way it has to.

>>24646839
Don't people normally trim down their stories after the first draft, instead of expanding them?

>>24645773
>Aurumchalcum
Ha ha ha.

>>24645778
>Imali
Why this?

>>24646682
i read
1 of urs
the other day

it was about
boredism serving autists
&
i thoughted
it was
breddy gud
& worthwhile
& i bookmarked it

>>24646841
There are no hard-and-fast rules. Do what is right for your text. After the first draft, there will be parts that aren't as developed as they need to be. This is normal. So develop them. Only trim down when it's appropriate.

>>24644541 (OP)
>characters name is a secret clue to his intentions
>like Mr. Malum is the twist villain
>mallum is evil in latin

How do I go about this? What's the proper way to do it? Or just, avoid this trope entirely?

Do you guys read some books of the genre you want to write your own book in, or just go with your gut feeling?

>just broke 40k words on my nonfiction project
>i'm only 4 months into the story
>it's supposed to go on for a year

it feels kind of good but on the other hand fuck bros is it going to be too long? I get to skip a month out of the year where I do nothing but that's it
Into the wild was like under 60k words, down and out in paris and london is like 65k, on the road is 76k

>>24647073
I read some of the genre I'm writing it helps to see how some authors handle certain sentences

>>24647073
i just
read
all the time
&
write
all the time
so
it all just
blends in 2gether
abstractly

>>24647073
The former

>>24646841
you should definitely trim the final draft

Is it okay to focus more on descriptions of appearances rather than physical sensations in smut scenes?
i.e.,
>she kept looking back at him, hair swaying as her head turned, expressions alternating between sultry smile and helplessly aroused with her eyes closed and mouth open as she panted.

>come across a character design I really like
>write a character in my story loosely inspired by the design without knowing anything about that story
>later read the work the original character was from
>the charcter is EXACTLY the same as the one I wrote
how the fuck? Now what do I do? Rewrite every scene starring the character? FFFUUUUUU

>>24647495
I would say yes, rewrite, and drink down your bitter lesson deep, so that you will never forget it — don't steal without studying your mark.

>>24647503
I specifically avoided the work so I wouldn't even unconsciously copy the original character. Guess the designer did godlike work to capture the character's essence so well.

>>24647104
xir, you don't write with enough mass to justify gobbling up everyone's screen space with your ridiculous spacing. your methstanzas do not qualify as poetry. please just respect the pixels, or articulate your thoughts with more artistry.

George had a car. It had been parked in front of the office the other day but now he found it lodged in someone's fucking skull, after it had been bashed in. It turned out that he was a pansy who couldn't for the love of god understand just how it happened. Even after examining the spot where it happened, he was just as confused as he was two days ago.
Ergo, etum, etum. He thought of something. What if I made love with this corpse?

>Writing Autobiography
>Feel like I want to focus on 1 transformational year
>Also feel like I have to write about all my years so I can understand that one year
>So all years get written about but only 1 makes it into a book
Anyone have experience with this?

>>24647605
You're what, 20? Why would you want to write an autofellatio?

>>24644549
Ok goofball.share me your discord server of your dead poets society.

>>24647605
>Let me tell you: I've lived a life. A hell of a life. People often stop me in the street and say, "I can see you've seen some shit." I'm gonna tell you, dear reader, the same thing I told them: I've seen some shit. There was the time my bicycle overturned, when I was thirteen, and I banged my head upon the gravel driveway and raised a bump the size o' a baseball; there was the time I was a passenger in drunk driving incident (which is deeply illegal), and there was the time I choked on a watermelon pip, and approached the Pearly Gates. I even saw St Peter! He winked at me! (We're buddies now).
Alas, readers, it has been a hell o' a ride. Let's start at the beginning. We-ell it was plumb spring day in 1997, when my parents were feeling a little, let's just say, they were feeling a little "frisky" heh-heh ..

just start like this bro

tfw my neighbours caught me jacking off on their lawn at 11pm

>>24647656
It's just what's on my mind presently.
It's more of write it to get it out of my mind and done with, so I can move onto something else.
I'm 32. Focusing on when I was 14. Stuff that happened at 24 and 25 is more interesting but 14 is what is asking to be written about.

Do I have like a cut off age so I can refer to the memories I had when i was 14 but none afterwards. Do I write from the 14 year old perspective or who I am now, or who I could be in the future?

So many options.

>>24647656
>autofellatio
kek if it's a misinput.

>>24647693
that shit was completely intentional you fool

>>24647692
I'm my humble, 32 is comedically young to write a autobiography unless you're Buffalo Bill. Why not write simply self-insert literary fiction, as is common ? This way you get the catharsis without the obvious self-indulgent masturbation.

>>24647699
all creativity is masturbation
write or die. all gradations are meaningless noise

>>24647697
It would be more funny if it was unintentional tho

>>24647699
Nah man, Im the next Thomas Mann, this is my Buddenbrook

>>24647701
Expression is only uniformly masturbatory in that it contains an aspect of expulsion (of self); within creativity there is a massive disparity between a soliptic autobiography and a historical fiction. It's unfair to equate the two.

>>24647704
In that case, I wish you great success bro.

>>24647707
>historical fiction
LOL

>>24647699
What if you spent your 20s like Kerouac and Kesey

>>24647720
I'm just referring to the level of relative self-indulgence across those respective genres, not which is better, beloved.

>>24647722
Then I would read it. As long as you don't seek to imitate their voices. As long as it is sincere.

>>24647701
>all creativity is masturbation
Masturbation is pleasuring yourself, so it can't be masturbation if it's painful and not pleasurable

>>24647605
Sure. Kamala Harris just had an autobiography of her written called "107 Days". I haven't read it, but it's safe to assume it contains a lot of flashbacks while describing the period covered by the book.

>>24647728
I definitely wasn't trying to imitate any voice or style aside from maybe the stream of consciousness conversational method of prose

it's running long so I'm kind of unsure about the narrative focused direction, I think it reads well enough and does a good job of introducing the reader to the lifestyles presented while also giving tons of anecdotes to keep them hooked. Anyway because of this narrative and plot focus there's little room for flowery nice descriptions of everything like how Kerouac did

>>24647801
On the picture alone I can see you've lived man. Go write. Don't forget the dexedrine.

I'm nervous to post my first short story to substack bros.

>>24647879
Have you posted it here for the many kind and erudite anons to critique ?

>>24645011
I didn't like it. Dropped around page 15. Thought the descriptions were self-indulgent and inappropriate for a screenplay (even with your disclaimer >>24645013, which I've heard before, and which has pretty much become a red flag for me). The dialogue wasn't very believable or interesting. The reaction over the cat felt melodramatic because we don't spend enough time with it to care. The scene transitions are really bad (people just saying goodbye to each other--this is screenplay 101 stuff). Most of the scenes felt like filler. There's a strong sense of place, but that's about it, and its not enough to make this watchable.

My suggestion would be to either just write straight prose or to sit down and learn how to write a working scene. My guess is you're too attached to this piece for too long. It would benefit from being put aside for a while and returning to it after you've improved your skills substantially from working on other projects.

Would anyone here actually buy a book from someone who frequented /wg/? If you saw Anon's diary in the shops, would you support?

>>24647953
Of course, if it was something worth reading, but not on the basis of pure commonality alone. It would need some redeeming factor.

>>24647959
That's encouraging. I'm working on a book now that some have read here, but due to the subject matter, I don't think it will ever reach the mainstream.

>>24647971
That much israeli child rape huh ..

>>24647976
Sometimes I question this place

Should I include mandatory warnings in a web serial if it's going to include content like a sad ending?

How do you include a subject like suicide but make sure not to seem like I’m idealizing it? Would trigger warnings be enough? How do I do this within the context of the story?

>>24648067
Ask the web novel general.

>>24648077
Idolize it and talk frequently about the noose in your room if readers leave too many mean comments.

>>24648081
That's not for writing.

>>24648103
Oh lmao? Then what exactly are the folx there doing? I've never been inside. The smell wafting out over the precipice always stupefied me.

How do you guys go about rewriting? For me it's being a painstaking proccess, albeit I'm changing the ending because I didn't like it and that's forcing me to change other things and create new things to justify the new stuff.

>>24648111
It's for reading, same as every other non writing general. Stop LARPing as a leftoid while you're at it.

>>24648135
You're unbelievable. A nonsentient amoeba.

I've been practicing prose. "Show, don't tell," is often said about prose - you should show something happening, rather than say it's happening. Instead of "boredom evident on her face" you should write something like "eyes glazed as they followed nothing in particular."

I'm not sure I entirely agree with this. I feel like sometimes you should tell the reader what emotion the description is trying to evoke. People like being told how to feel - you see it on the news, by streamers and youtubers, and movies. Stating the emotion in plain English makes it easier for some of the readers to pick up what's happening and how they should feel about it. Books don't have dramatic music or exaggerated facial expressions that can do that in a more subtle way, therefore "anger marred her expression."

What do you think? I'm a shitty ESL still trying to learn prose, so I'd love some feedback from people who might know better.

What do you guys think about that royalroad story blowing up to a 25k usd/month patreon in 2 months of posting on a new pen name, with no prior following or shout-out/author collusion?
Why can't you do that? Don't you want to quit your shitty dayjob?

>>24648494
I think what "Show, don't tell" actually means has more to do with inference. It's about supplying hints/data to the reader to allow them to reach some conclusion rather than telling them that conclusion explicitly. It's actually more important to understand why you would do this in the first place, which is for two reasons: one, there's a certain pleasure the reader gets from putting things together (it's a form of "learning" which likely releases dopamine), and two, it's a shortcut for arousing emotions in the reader (because the act of inference seems to aid in arousing emotion).

>>24648553
which story was that?

>>24648553
i unironically write for apollo and athena. i'm retarded, yes, but not retarded enough to ever depend on writing for financial sustenance.

>>24648572
https://graphtreon.com/creator/ArcaneCadence
https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/118891/new-life-as-a-max-level-archmage

>>24648494
yes it's complete horse shit

the rule is always to just get the fuck on with it

>>24648553
>why don't you guys just win the lottery?
I often ask myself the same question.

>>24648593
It's only a small percentage luck

>>24648553
>>24648578
I'd honestly rather grind my shitty day job than write garbage like this.

>>24648596
If that were true then it'd be replicable consistently.

>>24648606
big name established authors do launch new pen names and take off consistently with them

>>24648617
No they don't.

>>24648604
You don't have an actually shitty day job then. You're probably an office cuck whining about his soft and easy life.

>>24648619
Yes they do.
The same level of success, every time? No. Like I said it is some percent luck. But knowing how to write an appealing story is a skill, not magic.

>>24648629
Popularity has never had anything to do with quality and never will. To insist otherwise is cope.

You just keep trying until you get lucky. There's nothing else to it.

I've published 2 of my poem in two different legitimate magazines but have grown disillusioned ever since in a kind of a good way?

My motivation for reading and writing fluctuates sometimes I go without it for months or even a year or two but I always go back to it and essentially a kind of calling for me. I got published when I was 17-21ish. Usually how it comes about is I just write because I enjoy what I'm reading, and during these times I'm reading a lot steeeped into it. It's coming again for me, but I'm just writing a lot for myself and a lot of its unintelligible, opaque, some I can see being published but least enjoyable process of trying to publish is finding where to send it. I might send my stuff the same place but I just like writing for myself really now.

Out of the thousands of little magazines online what do you really have to show with some little publications here and there maybe a website once to make your chapbook a reality but I just don't see where you are gonna get discovered in all of this even if someone wants to publish your book. I made a twitter account to go with what I'm doing right now but I honestly hate almost every single thing about that type of community, its a must though.

I'm getting a remote job soon and I'll have more time to be isolated and focus. Yet I'm worried if truth and quality really prevail in contemporary nature of the literary world?

>>24648632
A pro who knows their genre in and out can and will write fiction that consistently sells across pen names. To deny this simple fact is cope of the classic definition: you making excuses for your inability to craft salable stories.
>doesn't correlate to quality
for your definition of quality, perhaps, but that isn't the topic at hand

>>24648652
>A pro who knows their genre in and out can and will write fiction that consistently sells across pen names
They can't and they don't.

This is a fiction invented to help people cope, and also to help the successful person in question pretend that they didn't just get lucky and achieved something on their own merits. In other words, it's cope.

>>24648553
>royal road
this is not /wng thread, sir. please back to containment thread

>>24648663
They can and do, retard.

>>24648711
We don't sign our posts here.

>>24647906
>Dropped around page 15.
thank you for the time nonetheless. interesting to see very polar reactions.

>>24648711
lol this is a very foolish line of reasoning you've presented(hardly any), there's so much work involved in getting successful and the idea that you could become successful in a second hidden place based on the quality of your work alone and without doing anything else like marketing is absolutely hilarious
you can look back at any extremely successful author and see that they often had many unpublished or unsuccessful stories before they struck gold, leading their previous works to be suddenly looked at through a new lens that allowed audiences to get over the shit they couldn't get over before - likewise many successful authors who only struck gold once but who went on to have a very successful career as a writer because their name carried them

>>24648729
I'm curious anon, if you wouldn't mind sharing — what inspired the screenplay? Are you Finnish? What would be your dream medium for the script to be produced in?

>>24648733
It's obviously true that once you get a runaway success publishers are willing to give you more lattitude, but it's simply not true of a reader. If you're not consistently producing work that scratches the reader's itch, you will eventually get dropped because you're not making the sales. Popularity doesn't coincide with quality in the way you've defined it, but it does coincide with meeting market demand.

Nothing has changed really. Successful commercial fiction is still about figuring out what the reader wants and then giving it to them. This is not an intractable problem (though it's been recently obfuscated in traditional publishing by identity politics).

>>24648760
In your supposed secret fanfic theory how is stephen king going to get read and heard if nobody knows its stephen king? You suppose it's him who made the secret story on royalroad?

>>24648565
I see. That's a really good point. I wonder if you could use this as a way to teach the reader to read your prose too. Some of the time in the story you make the reader infer the emotion and other times you use a similar construction where you explicitly tell the emotion. That way readers have a clue to what was meant the other times.

>>24648785
>how is stephen king going to get read and heard if nobody knows its stephen king?
The same way he did before he got famous? By publishing something readers want to read and then getting spread by word-of-mouth (which is what it ultimately comes down to in book publishing anyway).

Are you really suggesting that if King submitted absolute doggerel of the sort that goes unread even on Royal Road it would still get published and become a best-seller just on King's name and brand? That his readers wouldn't rip him a new one or his editor wouldn't simply veto him straight off?

>>24648785
I'm not the guy you're responding to, but this story is almost certainly not a big name author. The story is far too similar to the Japanese light novel The New Gate. I'm glad for it, because I liked The New Gate, but Archmage is much easier to read although it has no boobs.

>>24648812
>although it has no boobs.
This is blasphemy to the flat justice movement
Petite elf waifu is peak

>>24648802
>The same way he did before he got famous?
He got famous by luck. It's all noise and you're coping if you think otherwise.

>>24648802
I'm suggesting that if you dropped one of his lesser works had been done by anyone else unknown or under a pseudonym they wouldn't have reached the popularity or success they did being released under his name

Without his name something like Cell or Under the Dome are just diamond dozen novels that wouldn't have suddenly catapulted the made up Stephani Kingslayer into the reading list of every bored cat lady

>>24648802
>would still get published and become a best-seller just on King's name and brand?
it will get published. big name authors will always get published and they can publish anything. look at guys like salman rushdie always shoveling out shit and the editor and publisher is never going to say anything about it. once you are a big name author, you have a certain license that new authors do not have. this also goes for word count. they will publish a 1000 page book if you are a big name author. it doesn't necesssarily mean your steaming pile of shit will sell well though.

>>24646682
The presentation is quite readable.
>who might not be well-known without the existence of Hitler,
Might not have been
>Churchill, on the other hand, will known forever
Will forever be known

But the argument is completely ridiculous for obvious reasons. WWII or the holocaust didn't happen for media about it to please. Vegans are still right, but as popular as not being a vegan is, it's not that profound to say industrial farming of all things isn't morally right.

>>24646396
>he thought and
Shouldnt be in italics. also don't take the old man too seriously but https://youtu.be/V8OwyqvSh2g?t=1051

Way too many introductions of names without distinguishing characteristics attached for Chapter 10. First few paragraphs especially. The descriptive prose is fine and there is a backbone of action and intrigue, but it should be more naturally mixed for better flow. Starting both the scene and the framed scene more in the middle of things could help. I was lost but of course that's in large part to this being Chapter 10. Also maybe a less tropey way of phrasing "I'm sure you're wondering why I've gathered you here today" could help.

>>24648955
>and become a best-seller
>doesn't necesssarily mean your steaming pile of shit will sell well though.
So you agree. What was the point of your response?

>>24646682
The presentation is quite readable.
>who might not be well-known without the existence of Hitler,
Might not have been
>Churchill, on the other hand, will known forever
Will forever be known

But the argument is completely ridiculous for obvious reasons. WWII or the holocaust didn't happen for media about it to please. Vegans are still right, but as popular as not being a vegan is, it's not that profound to say industrial farming of all things isn't morally right.

>>24646396
>he thought and
Shouldn't be in italics. And don't take the old man too seriously but https://youtu.be/V8OwyqvSh2g?t=1051 [Embed]

Way too many introductions of names without distinguishing characteristics attached for Chapter 10. First few paragraphs especially. The descriptive prose is fine and there is a backbone of action and intrigue, but it should be more naturally mixed for better flow. Starting both the scene and the framed scene more in the middle of things could help. I was lost but of course that's in large part to this being Chapter 10. Also maybe a less tropey way of phrasing "I'm sure you're wondering why I've gathered you here today" could help.

>>24648959
>Way too many introductions of names without distinguishing characteristics

That's true, and since this is the gathering of this faction's members, only about half of them have been introduced beforehand. Some others are only mentioned to populate the room with characters and make them feel less like background noise or cardboard cut-outs, and I felt that giving all of them characteristics (there's the blonde fencemaster, the tall quartermaster, the doctor with the glasses, the woman and the fat guy) would make this list of proper nons more of a bog.

>63,000 words into my 400,000-word epic
>Averaging about 1000 - 2000 a day
Not bad goings, for now.

>>24645011
If you want an opinion on how the script reads as its own medium:
My criticism is that it takes too much effort to pass those first pages. If you are reading a screenplay, and I've been reading screenplays lately, you try to visualize. Prose gives you more time to create the scene, and the barrage of images you are trying to communicate is overwhelming.
>>24645013
I am writing my first script and I am thinking in making it enjoyable as a read. As I've said I've tried to read a few (amateur) screenplays these past days to get a few cues, and I am sure that it is a big challenge.

>>24649114
this is asked every day but how do you keep focused/consistent in writing? I work 10-6 and I have to do chores/study after returning home so I mostly write before going to sleep so that's usually not more than 500 words. I also have trouble focusing which is another thing

>>24648830
I'm saying that a story with a female MC probably won't have boobs on display, whereas a The New Gate did, elven boobs at that.

>>24649135
Going to plebbit space because I have thoughts that I can't organise due to tired

I don't know, anon, I don't really keep focused, I just can't sit without it. It's kind of all I think about. I listen to a lot of music depending on the mood (Each POC has their own music style), and that helps me enter the zone for them.

It helps to be excited about what you're writing. I can't wait to get my points down on the page each day. I also take frequent no-technology walks so that I'm bouncing to go when I go.

Recently, I've realised that what I'm writing is bigger than myself, and if I don't do it, then I'm letting thousands of people down, so that motivates me--although the subject matter can be depressing.

It helps me to jump around in time since I've plotted fairly meticulously (I can work on chapter 200 knowing that I can go back to chapter 6 tomorrow).

I'd say number one is DO NOT put pressure on yourself. Sometimes I just write because I like making sentences. I simply open another doc and blab about whatever; the radical style difference kind of grounds you, and you might uncover a technique you like. I'll post a muck about excerpt as an example.

I also post on here a lot, and getting good feedback is really motivating!

>https://rentry.co/a99t7x7y

Hopefully you get something out of my jumbled thoughts.

>>24648959
I need to rewrite the article. It wasn't supposed to be about veganism, but an apologia for history makers

>>24649114
What exactly do you have to say in 400k words you coulnd't say in 50k?

>>24649207
50,000 words is hardly epic.

>>24649114
>Retard can’t even write flash fiction
>Somehow thinks an epic is within his ability
Imagine writing all that just to waste your time.

>>24648740
>what inspired the screenplay?
the music
>Are you Finnish?
no. i like finnish names and needed to strip the language of locality a little. the finland of the story is fully fictional, where it doesn't snow in april and where children speak like that.
>What would be your dream medium for the script to be produced in?
some sort of stop motion movie. but even as that it would be made up almost entirely of things most audiences would find tedious. as a screenplay it can be exactly as i want, down to descriptions and slower scenes.

>>24649123
thanks anon

>>24649243
...?

>>24649243
sometimes writing proper flash fiction and short stories is harder than writing "epic" fiction, whatever that entails

>>24649243
The point of a "muck about" is that it's supposed just to be experimental twaddle. It's not flash fiction, and I never said it was. Crab.

>>24645261
Midwit's Gold

>>24646172
Gender identity is not complex. I write entire novels without ever mentioning it.
>>24646956
This is never clever. People with a brain will see through it right away, Lord Smolder-Death.

>>24646682
the world desperately needs a fallacy name for arguments that take the form of a food analogy

>>24645261
pyrite

>>24647315
What's your pen name? Mr. Literal?
>>24648494
Tell the boring stuff to get it over with. Show the cool stuff you want to slow down.

>>24649319
Argumentum ad gastric

My ambition too big for my meager writing ability. Almost done and realizing I've made shit that nobody will want to read

>>24649300
>It’s not flash fiction
I never said it was flash fiction. I said you’re incapable of even writing flash fiction. Or short stories, novellas, or any kind of short form writing. Which should exclude you from writing a longer epic. Another reason is you’re illiterate, and clearly can’t parse out a single post. Go “twaddle” off a ledge now you bumbling retard.

>>24649447
your post was a retarded non-sequitur

I hit a huge month long wall and was about to put it aside when I decided to compare how far I got compared to past failed attempts.
I know I'm in the minority here, but I usually reserve counting for when the work was done (and even then I tend to forget anyway).
The result was both highly distressing and somehow motivating. The former for wasting thousands of pages of notes instead of actually writing, the latter for proving all my stupid techniques to actually get shit to paper has been actually working.

>>24649801
The weird part is the (near) 25k wall I hit wasn't the burnout everyone talks about
It's more the fact I haven't even begun the story proper and now digging deeper means accepting some shit will fall apart
I guess as a pantser I can accept then half of that written work will serve as a nice outline even if it doesn't survive the cull

>>24649809
>I haven't even begun the story proper
time for you to delete all that crap and start your story

I'm going to become homeless on purpose and then write a book about being homeless on purpose, and the tradeoff between freedom and comfort.

>>24649427
Is it your first work?

>>24649601
>Uhh your blatant insult was a non-sequitur
No fucking shit. I don’t need to craft an airtight argument to call you a dysgenic faggot. All I have to do is cover your mouth for 20 minutes and you’ll suffocate to death.

>>24649869
Oh yeah well you’re the dyslexic one, fag.

>>24649904
Close your mouth. See how long you can last before you realize your nose can help with that thing called breathing.

Why do American post-moderniet fiction writers always have the same name. William Gaddis, William Gass. John Barth, Donald Barthelme

>>24649929
I don’t know. Don’t look at me.

>>>/tv/213812950
I made this thread to gauge interest. Screenwriting threads in /tv/ were sporadic but they don't seem to exist anymore.

>>24649929
>John Barth, Donald Barthelme
i have confused these guys so many times

>>24648958
>So you agree.
If you have low reading comprehension and think that agreeing with fifty percent of something is agreeing then yes.

>>24650192
I admire your optimism. /tv/ is the most most cumstained board in the entire house of degeneration that is this website.

>>24649846
Don't forget to include, in each and every paragraph, "I acknowledge my privilege, both material and historical, that has afforded me the luxury of choosing unhousedness." I'm not joking bro. The horn-rimmed publishing house aunties will have a fucking field day.

>>24650228
fuck no

>>24650365
I was joking. When I wrote "I'm not joking bro", that was the 'untrustworthy narrator's' voice

>>24649447
Post work.

Now 88 526 words into my 800 000 word super-epic, containing 129 characters, 3817 original proper nouns, and 172 songs and poems. My name will outlast the Himalayas.

If AI continues to improve while simultaneously reducing energy requirements (which seems highly unlikely), we shall need take refuge without broken English, novel jargon, Spanglish, Franglish, etc.

>>24650506
In time, anon, who will remember my gentle teasing and realise that I am trying to save you from your own hubris. Please, I beg you, master the short story before attempting an "epic". It is no coincidence that Joyce is both one of the great masters of language and the story's short form. It is a form of love.

>>24650516
>Crabanon
YOU YOURSELF have read parts of it and said you liked it! YOU, >>two four six five zero five one six

>>24650655
Hahahah I'm sorry .. perhaps all this time in the briny bottom of our chum bucket has twisted my mind old chum .. perhaps the peer-sabotage has worn off on me .. I'm sorry .. I will never doubt you again epic-chan.. may we clack our claws together in chumship until one of us scales the rim .. and discovers the wonders and terrors of the outside world ..

tfw I show-not-told'ed myself into an early divorce. learn from my mistakes everyone. you are allowed to tell someone you love them.

>>24646172
>especially when the story is not about queer topics per se?
Just don't mention it. If you need some romance, then just have Man date Man, and leave it at that.

>>24646224
>You still need to get to know the characters, don’t you?
There are plenty of ways to get to know a character without delving into their gender identity. Hobbies, interests, fears, traumas, goals, desires, etc...
If the story doesn't revolve around queer topics, then which genital they want to suck should rank low on the character sheet.

Someone post an image to write a oneshot about. Nothing sexy pwease I'm cultivating mana.

>>24650396
I got tired of this one and started another, figured if I have a fantasy story and a science fiction story both going I can switch between them if I get tired of the genre.

>>24650228
>>24649846
Do it anon but be warned you might become a perma bum unabled to go back to regular society - it happened to me and all my other hobo philosopher friends I met on the road

>>24650196
>get published and become a best seller
is clearly referring to both things happening moron. saying "well it can get PUBLISHED but not sell so you're wrong" is retardation of the highest order

>>24651094
Ias the original poster you're referencing, I think for it even to get published is a stretch and I was just conceding a point to you because I figured you might acknowledge the fact that it would never get on every lonely cat ladies reading list under stephani kingslayer, without steven kings real name behind it

Seriously though I didn't respond to you (the post you're responding to is someone else) because you were so facetious in your argumentation that you refused to acknowledge anything I said while hyper focusing on a point I conceded to you for the sake of argument (the possibility that they might get published without their real handle)

You have done zero arguing and are trying to talk here from a position of authority as though everything you're saying is just self evident and it's so stupid that it doesn't warrant further addressing, but since someone else replied to you I thought I'd let you know that you are in fact a basic bitch molded by your desire to fit in to society

I jerked my shit with such ignorance that the muses took fright and flew away. Now all my sentences ring flat and dull. I've lost my swag. I deserve slow death.

Favourite writing exercises ?

>>24651105
the only posts I've made are >>24648958 and >>24651094 lmfao

>>24651151
>writing exercises
Writing is not something that improves by repeatedly writing the same words. That’s like repeatedly opening up a puzzle and trying to complete it when you’re missing half of the pieces. The only way you improve writing is by reading, and internalizing how different styles and sentence structures are supposed to flow. You’ll also absorb more vocab this way, and you’ll leave an easier time finding the words to express the exact feeling or scene you’re trying to craft.

>>24651151
50-word microfiction
Based on a simple 1- or 2-word prompt, write a short story in 50 words or less. I used to do it at least once a week for years. It's a nice exercise to practice effective word use, creativity, and editing (cutting out the bloat).

>>24651269
>once a week for years
And yet you’re still here. Great advice, retard.

>>24651226
I don't think you know what a writing exercise is
>>24651151
every once in a while, I do these exercises out of the back of The Art of Fiction (in order)

>>24651299
>>24651269
Thank you. I love you.

>>24651299
>Write three effective long sentences
Lmao. Imagine drilling sentences like an ESL instead of writing a long form story. This entire list is just an exercise in rearranging the few words that your slow mind can come up with. Have fun playing scrabble when everyone else is, you know, reading books and writing stories.

>>24651274
You have no idea who I am

@24651328
t. plotfag

>>24651336
>Scared of replying directly
You’re a dysgenic ESL who thinks drilling sentences is going to improve your writing. It won’t. It will just reinforce your existing retarded writing quirks. But wasting your time is what you do best anyway, you genrefic slopper.

@24651366
no doubt your 500k word epic fantasy novel is of the utmost quality, anon
I wouldn't dare suggest you waste your time on retarded pursuits like developing readable prose

>>24651366
I know who you are.

anyone writing as a full-time job or writing being his full-time focus in any case? I'm a wageslave and I only have the energy/focus to write only late at night before I go to sleep but I fear that even if I had no job and had my mornings and afternoons free, then I would also not spend 6-8 hours writing.

I chanced upon the apron,--I chanced upon mom.
It's eleven PM, and the hamper's in the gloom. The first rite of my youth was--like--two weeks ago. Now it's not muggy, it's autumn-like cool. I get a kiss from Catie, now I get the moon. Shut the windows, mum, I'm shivering alone.

Silver cast were wars--past.--Past they are, indeed; now it's not the moonlit recipe. Have you glared at the pages, in the drug store aisles at least?--Seen the wicked greens, not the frigid Koreans, not the umber France, not the ditches we'd dared not relive again.

I see an all-assuming green and I marvel: 'there are the kids,'--who like The Rolling Stones,--wearing iron lids. Oh, my friends are at war. Black and white and wet and slumped from seventeen's backdoor;--I chanced at this.

It's eleven PM, and the hamper's in the gloom. My 'handome young man's' there in the closet;--from Sears I got it from. The first rite, about two weeks ago, now the moon's full-bore and I'm going to Vietnam.

>>24651388
>developing readable prose
Your prose is already unreadable. What makes you think sitting in a room rewriting sentences with that same prose will change anything? Read some other authors instead of just staring at your own retarded scribblings all day.

>>24651392
Excellent.

>>24651391
>6-8 hours writing.
6-8 hours of writing every day is inhuman
i write as my full time job and i manage 3-4 on good days and that still comes out to 2-4k words first draft, which is plenty for a day's work

Why am I wasting time trying to write about heroics when I’ve lived a meaningless life?

Can I have some advice, I'm studying more about the physics of our world than I did before so I can do the math? I want to design alternate physics that are math appropriate and accurate

>>24651904
Take your meds or eat only steak. Stop hallucinating, please.

>>24651933
What? I wanna write about alternate physics

>>24651904
Lots of people here are going to lambaste you for this. My advice is to just know your audience. Whatever anons in /wg/ may believe there is a surprisingly sizable audience that enjoy that sort of thing. Look at the success of Andy Weir as an example.

The key is to make sure you don't alienate that same audience by either a) making any gross errors especially with respect to consistency or b) failing to connect that aspect to the plot and characters (one simple technique is to make sure the climactic revelation has directly to do with it).

It's also important to know why people like this stuff in the first place. It's primarily about learning, which involves making predictions and then seeing them either be proven right or, even better, proven wrong (but in a way that still makes sense). As long you present it correctly, readers will be engaged.

>>24651942
what a poor explanation of speculative fiction

>>24651942
Are they? Sorry, I rarely come here these days.
I just like weird literature, but I have an annoying need to be accurate

>>24651105
>>24651213
>>24651094
We are all frens here. Let's just chill out.

We're loveposting today guys

>>24651951
See >>24651933

Anyway, another piece of advice is not to change too much. Focus on a single small change and then explore the various repercussions of that. It makes it easier to maintain that internal consistency. The Mass Effect series, for all its faults, at least got this right. Pretty much all of its technology is derived from the titular Mass Effect (which is a fairly simple concept: a field that can change the mass of things in it)

>sit down to write a new short story
>immediately put down a line of alliteration
I can't help myself. I have a problem. what the hell is wrong with me. I didn't ask to be born like this

>>24651976
Sounds gay. Jesus hates queers.

>>24652041
Is there a problem with the prose if your prefer to place your words like that?

>>24652118
I don't think it's a problem per se. being naturally drawn to alliteration and rhyme makes me feel like a silly and seussian goon
here's the opening paragraph

>>24652213
It's great and purple but you should open with more action and then move into these flowery descriptions of scenes as the characters move through them

>>24652220
thanks
I don't mind if it's a bit boring. It's inspired by things like The Lady of Shalott (painting and poem), the film Excalibur, and arthurian tale in general. I've recently stumbled on an appreciation for this particular kind of romanticism. I want the piece to be kind of slow and floaty which I'm sure will put off a lot of people but eh, I'm a nobody anyways

>>24652235
it's not that it's boring, it's a style, just structure your style with more action to hook the reader into the moment

>>24652041
You can edit all the rhyme and alliteration out of it if the effect is unwanted, so it's nothing to worry about.

>>24652238
reader engagement is at best a tertiary concern because I don't have readers
I think this scene structure suits the story more which is why I'm leaning it. might end up refactoring in an edit pass of course

>>24652259
If you have to edit then you shouldn’t have written.

The girl ran at me with a club. It was well made, or at least as well as it could be given her savage upbringing. She held it high over her blonde head, and swung it at an odd sideways angle meant to collide with my neck. I had about a foot of height on her, so I suppose it was the most prudent attack her mind could conjure. I countered by stepping close to her. At this intimate distance her swing was now pointlessly behind me.
Her outstretched swinging arm made for a clean target. With an elbow or well placed open palm I could break her fighting arm and leave her helpless, but now was not the time for efficiency. This one was pretty, and I felt like playing games.
I pushed her back with a hard shove to her supple chest. She stumbled a little as her skinny legs attempted to put her on balance. I allowed the refrain, and returned to a casual stance. This made her angry, and her blue eyes burned with hatred and embarrassment. She swung wildly at my face. I needed only to step back an inch to have the club swing wide. This was a ploy of hers of course, she now advanced just a step and repeated the attack from the opposite angle.
I ought to have applauded her ingenuity. I instead ducked the swing, gauged the position of her backswing, and grabbed at her wrist. Her eyes opened with horrified surprise as I held tight on her fragile joints, and began to pull at just the right angle. She let go of the club with a scream, which was good as I was getting bored of the weapon. The tribal lashed out with her free hand. I blocked the pathetic blow, and gave her my own on her freckled cheek.
She fell to her ass with a look of shook on her cute face. I suspected it would bruise, what a shame to mar such a pretty toy. I would have to rape her before the bruise began to spread. I knocked her to her back with a swift kick to her chin. I hoped she hadn’t bitten off her tongue; blood was such a turn off when they choked on it. A stomp on her exposed naval put the bitch in a submissive state, and another got her legs spread.


I can't stop writing violence against women. Is this normal?

>>24652280
no it is not normal. most men would tackle said angry woman with a club then proceed to lick her face. Male saliva have a paralyzing effect on women. It stops their emotional hysteria and in fashion, many give their backs to their assailant. Giving the back towards an attacker is a signal of submission or foolishness depending on context. Observable in modern day Mixed Martial Arts sports. The minute an opponent gives the back, the fight is over. Since this is a male on female attack, the back means absolute defeat and submission. Since women are easily paralyzed by the male tongue and its lubricant, its a folly for men to not take this option and pin her down. The pressure from the heavier male body has women find means to relieve the pressure pressed on her womb. An interesting phenomenon can be experienced. Legs are strong in bipedal mammals, and women would use much of their strength to relieve their bellies from the pressure, and thus lift their buttocks in accordance. The male thus has two responses, a natural one would be to accept the female submission, the unnatural would be to kill or maim the woman. Since the woman has already submitted to the man, the only natural outcome at this stage of battle would be to strip the woman of her garments and bring her to the man's cave. Like a tarantula wasp dragging its victim, the same can be done with a human woman. You bring her to your cave and by acts of self-preservation and natural behavior, women tend to stay in the cave and not leave. If you try to boot them out, they'll hover around and try to break back in. From victimhood to a parasitic/symbiotic relationship can be observed in human courting behaviors.

If you did any actual research instead of spewing your nonsensical violent ramblings, you're writing a fight between a man and woman, not a man versus man. In your case, your woman falls under the "man with tits" writing fallacy. Write an actual woman already. You give incels a bad name.

>>24652319
So the woman should roll to her stomach upon defeat? And what is all this crap about licking and saliva?

>>24652280
hot

>>24652280
I was going to react to how worrying this was

>>24652319
Then I saw this and cringed far harder.

>>24652324
Licking and saliva is the male mechanism to subdue his prey. I quote:
>Male saliva has a paralyzing effect on women

There's a reason why male pornography has a lot of "women licking men". it's a male coded mechanism transferred to women.

I am going to write an NTR novel where the main hero gets cucked by his love. The novel must end with him doing nothing about it but wallow in despair.

>>24652414
why would you do that

>>24652373
Just because women start collapsing when they smell your breath doesn’t mean your saliva causes paralysis.

>>24652428
NTR is the biggest trend in romance right now, however, NTR is female focused with her "making the wrong choice" and justifies her lust for other men.

The pendulum swings the other way, and numerous of other forms of media has NTR all over the place, with pornography being the NTR leader. Where porn goes, so does the culture. Thus, the next best seller will inevitably be NTR.

>>24652447
thats literally what paralysis is

>>24652513
How could the OP of that fight scene have integrated licking into the choreography?

>>24652515
>She fell to her ass with a look of shook on her cute face. I suspected it would bruise, what a shame to mar such a pretty toy. I would have to rape her before the bruise began to spread. I knocked her to her back with a swift kick to her chin. I hoped she hadn’t bitten off her tongue; blood was such a turn off when they choked on it. A stomp on her exposed naval put the bitch in a submissive state, and another got her legs spread.
instead of a stomp, he could use pounce. thus incorporate the licking

>>24652523
I think the repetitive nature of the stomp pushing the opponent more and more toward submission is a more unique vision than him just pouncing and getting to the raping, licking or otherwise.

It's like you fags read the most basic fetish shit, and then think that making it more generic/shitty somehow makes it better. The interaction is violence, therefor it should end in violence. How is it so hard to understand?

>>24652554
Then he did not need to ruminate with the idea of rape in the first place. I quote
>I would have to rape her before the bruise began to spread
This the act of rape crossed the MCs mind. If he wanted pure bloodlust it needs to be communicated clearly. Focus on his muscles tightening, but feeling loose from the blood flow, not comment on the woman's cute freckles face. If the author focuses on such details, it leads the reader to think that the MC would do more than just push her titties and having her legs spread wide apart.

Sheesh do you people need the basics in storytelling? Every word matters on what the writer wishes to focus on.

Eating biscuits is far different than eating crackers.

>>24652574
>If you want something erotic, make it about the man

lmao gay

I think you missed the point of the passage entirely.

I'm writing a book from the first person perspective of a paranoid possible schizophrenic. Is it acceptable to use typeface changes to represent his voices and thoughts?

"So, what did you get up to on the weekend, Buddy?"
Buddy?!?!? I know what you mean you fucking piece of shit fuck can't fuck fuck I fucking know you're making fun of me you probably got drunk on thw weekend I bet you have a lot of stds for the sex with have with whore you fucking cuuuuuumnnnn
"Oh, not much, just a relaxing weekend"
"Sure"
That smug fucking smile you gucking piece of shit I know what you mean by that I should fucking kill you

>>24652280
>I had about a foot of height on her, so I suppose it was the most prudent attack her mind could conjure.
Is "suppose" correct here? Not "supposed"? Is this commentary after the fact?
>She fell to her ass with a look of shook
Shock
Maybe "fell on her ass"?
>I suspected it would bruise, what a shame to mar such a pretty toy.
It would bruise, what a shame (to mar such a pretty toy).
Asses don't bruise that easily, by the way. At least not visibly. A kick can do it, but a fall from standing height on your ass spreads the force out on the entire ass.
>A stomp on her exposed naval
navel

>>24652594
>he doesn't get it
ngmi

She was staring absentmindedly at the fort below, wiping her crossbow with a cloth. Her blonde pigtails blew gently in the cold midnight breeze, and the way her tight uniform clung to her supple body was accentuated nicely by the light of the full moon.

I kept low and crept up softly upon her. The soles of my boots were padded, and she would need to be far more astute than she was to hear my approach. She was fiddling with her crossbow when I saw the bronze hilted curved dagger at her back. Clearly the blade wasn’t standard issue, and it was probably virgin as well.

Blades are after all, a lot like women: you never know how well a virgin will hold up after the first time, but that doesn’t mean you don’t relish the opportunity. When I was close enough to hear her breath, I quickly grasped the ornate handle of her little dagger, and covered her mouth with my palm. She tried to resist, but before she had a chance to react, I unsheathed her dagger and stabbed it half a dozen times into the side of her slender body. With each penetration I felt a muffled scream of hot wasted breath on my palm.

With the last stab her resistance quelled substantially. I pulled out the dagger and lifted it in front of us. We both saw the pink viscera on the blade: a telltale sign that I had punctured her lung. I wondered how she must have felt when she realized her life was ended by her own dagger. I myself was quite impressed with its make. The breathing turned to wheezing, and then subsided as her young body went limp in my arms. I gently laid her on the ground, and wiped her blood clean from my new dagger on her cute little uniform.

>>24652599
in a webnovel. nowhere else

Stuck worldbuilding until I can have the proper paper on my math finished, trying to worldbuild using math first

>>24648553
>25k usd/month patreon in 2 months
thats either a generational defining hit youre witnessing or a money laundering operation

>>24653003
money laundering would at least make sense but it gets an expected amount of interaction so the audience is legit. it just hit royal roads tastes perfectly and showed how fast something can go viral there

>>24653003
It's just that good desu.

>>24653038
>>24653003
a story about a webnovel patreon money laundering operation which becomes a huge hit and the money launderers start extorting the author for more than what they launder with the justification that their money is what brought interest to the webnovel in the first place. the author is contacted by big publishers and takes on one who assures they will fuck off the money launderers only for them to not actually do that and themselves extort the author even worse. all while the work continues to explode in popularity so that the author is swamped in adoring fans while living in poverty.

>>24653038
>something makes a fuckton of money on an israeli platform
TOTALLY ORGANIC YEAH IT'S JUST THAT GOOD NOTHING TO SEE HERE HAHA

I am a fan and was writing or attempting a certain specific hard science fiction concept but holy fuck, this is hard, this is impossible to research and make sense. I want to give up and go fantasy out of frustration

>>24653266
I love hard science fiction
I am not smart enough to write accurate hard science fiction, any solutions?

>>24653266
>>24653381
Perhaps, anon, you are hoping that someone can recommend you some fabolous Chinese potion that supplies you with an instantaneous grasp of all heady concepts. The only solution to your problem is studious. Your mind's capabilities is not fixed. You can improve with ardent effort. But this answer, which is the only answer, is not the one you want, is it?

>>24653387
I'm a sad organism moving to better pastures. Fantasy...
I couldnt compete, all my inspirations have a proper major or experience, Ive been trying too hard to stufy for 3 momths now, nothing. I couldnt get the concept, Im not hard science fiction
I basically only read that as fiction but I have no place there, Ill never be like egan or watts

>>24653390
Why not just abandon the tropes and tradition of genre and write unimpeded? You do not need to comprise your creativity for the sake of arbitrary technical accuracy.

How many of you have ever actually joined the 3% or so who finish writing the book?
Did you bother to query a literary agent?
Self-publish on KDP?
I'm just curious.

>>24653683
I'm part of the strangely small subsection of burgeoning writers who decides to concentrate on the short story before attempting a novel, at perhaps the age of 40.

>>24653683
I've written four books and thrown them all away upon finishing. I do it for practice. I can crank out a 60k-word book in about 2 weeks. It's good to do, makes the act feel less monumental and more achievable for when I have something I want to actually publish.

>>24653404
What? Things have to make sense, if you abandon all frames of reference no one can nor will read stuff

>>24653737
The world itself makes no sense. Why, when we write, do we constantly pretend otherwise?

>>24653683
I'm on my second book now, but i finished writing a ttrpg rulebook as my first project. nobody besides me will ever host my nerd game so i just have my own copy and thats it
im 40k words into my novel now though, and thats far enough that i feel like i absolutely will not quit. its gonna be a long one though.

>>24653080
title: Writing Bad

I'm going to write a journal about learning how to play and compose for piano.
But make it faustian.

should i use chatgpt to do the math for me?
>>24653333

>>24653892
Stop being a retard. You think people give a flying fuck or want to read your math formulas on paper?

Just have scientists say they've calculated the made up technology and move on

>>24653969
No, the base setup, requires to know math

>>24653987
Then write your math formulas then

>>24653998
I CANT
>>24653333

>>24654006
Then give up.

>>24654034
so what do i do then. i hate science now

>>24654042
I know you. You're that disco eylisum fucker that posts in here only to say you can't write. You never even made an earnest effort

>>24654066
it's howie. maybe not the same howie, but from the same sad and utterly hopeless clan.

How do I improve my fashion sense? I am stuck in this story because I am trying to describe a character's outfit but my color coordination sense feels terrible.

>>24654066
who?

>>24654094
Here you go anon.
And, I'm also trying to be helpful when I say this: Don't overthink it.

>>24654122
Easy until you have to keep in mind coordinating it with hair and skin tone.

>>24654131
You're overthinking it.

>>24654150
Any more?

>>24654150
this chart is trash lol? did you even look at it before posting

>>24654174
He underthought it. This is why I'm stuck, I want good fashion for my fashionable character with lavish description.

threads about to die so I'm gunna do the thing

I need beta readers for this nonfiction i'm doing, I posted about it in a few generals back and you might've seen me in other threads
https://rentry.co/hobointro
I've added a bit to this section and ended this other rentry at the same spot
https://rentry.co/Hoboentro
email is at the bottom, the entire seattle section is approximately 30k words at the moment and mostly in the final stages of editing to be a standalone

I wanna start writing, I read a lot but I can't write. Advice?

>>24654270
BIG THINKER: Hmm.. let us circumspect the notion.. if one wishes to read, then one.. yes.. one "reads"! And if one wishes to think.. then one.. "shrimply thinks"!! And if one wishes to write.. if one wishes to.. hmm.. this is certainly a perplexing quandary.. if one wishes to write.. then one should shrimply..

>>24654273
Why is everyone a wannabe comedian nowadays here?
If I have read a lot, why do i suck at writing?

>>24654296
It's 40% innate ability and 60% practise you idiot. You need to write. A lot.

>>24654310
Where do I start? Way to know if I can?

>>24654318
Please can someone post the Howie comic.

>>24654310
>practise
You should start practicing more yourself!
>>24654323
Kill yourself.

>>24654318
Honestly, you need to read how to write.

>>24654323
The 'howie comic' was made by an artoid from /ic/ seething about his own inability to teach and taking it out on others, accidentally revealing himself to be someone who'd never dealt with a dog in his life. You have absolutely no business on /lit/ referencing such a philistine comic.

>>24654357
Holy fucking kek it's a pandemic these days

>>24654355
>Honestly, you need to read how to write
Thank you, I was just a bit in distress given I love reading but can't write a chapter. What's going on? What should I read?

>>24654360
I'm one of the people who systemically dismantled /ic/ back in the day emphasizing the importance of talent that none of them were able to refute. There's more than one person that points out how retarded you /ic/ types are.

>>24654368
>What should I read?
There's worse places to start than the resources in the OP. Have you given those a look?

>>24654369
I'm sorry. I had no idea who I was talking to. Sir, I kneel.

>>24654373
I did but I have choice paralysis

>>24654389
Want me to make a choice for you then? Start with the third video, then read the first two books in the resources guide in the OP.

>>24654397
got it thanks
im at my soul killer 9 to 5 still but will do it later...
i just hope i can write

>>24654270
If you can't put any words on the page then start with small writing exercises. Add flavor to bland sentences, write small scenes, and other things like that. Ask ChatGPT to give you those writing exercises.

After you've done that for a bit you'll find it much easier to put words on the page. That's when the "write a lot" advice takes over. Just don't keep relying on the AI. It's there to get you through those first steps, because it can give you immediate feedback. Eventually you have to move on though.

When it comes to prose the most important thing to remember is: be specific. Write your sentence in such a way that it describes what happens with as much specificity as you can, while using as few words as you can. This typically requires the use of strong verbs and nouns. Instead of "he walked slowly through the sand" you'd write "he trudged through the sand".

>>24654435
can you show me an example?

>>24654426
>>24654437
Go back to work!

>>24654435
He can write himself into circles for the rest of his life. But only reading will make you a better writer.

The funniest thing, is that we have people here who have been writing for almost a decade at this point, with zero progress on their end. No one engages with their work, not even their short stories get published. And they act as though it’s such a mystery. Then you ask them if they’ve read anything good recently: and it’s always “no, I’m busy writing,” or “no I only watch movies or cartoon.”

If you have no desire to read anything, what makes you think people will want to read what you write? You don’t even know how to appeal to your audience, since you don’t even engage with the art they like. Such a sad state of affairs.

>>24654462
But I said that I like reading a lot?
I'm always reading both fiction I like and non fiction, I even read research papers.
>>24654442
It's so boring I hate it...

>>24653892
i dont see where you explain what youre trying to actually do....

>>24654435
>Ask ChatGPT to give you those writing exercises.
Why cripple him out of the gate like that?

>>24654462
>>24654442
>>24654468
>>24654435
>>24654394

>>24654473
Go back to work!

>>24644810
I don’t remember who first told me about it. Someone said there was a mattress near the trees, not too wet, not too rotten. But as they said "cursed and scary". I laughed when I heard it, like I was supposed to be afraid of an old mattress. I’d been sleeping on cardboard for months. My back was killing me.
That night I found it. Half-buried in leaves, smelling of damp fabric, but soft enough. I sat down, then stretched out. The cold didn’t bite the same way. For the first time in a long time, I slept without shivering.
I should’ve known better.
The next morning, the others looked at me funny. One guy muttered, “He slept on the mattress.” I asked what he meant, but nobody answered. They just avoided me, like I was carrying something. By evening, I couldn’t even get a cigarette off anyone.
The boycott continued, someone saw me and whispered, “AIDS.” That was it. No one shared food anymore. I wanted to know more, what the fuck was happening to me, why they are treating me like I'm ill. I'm not you pieces of shit

First, when I tried to find food in dumps, five medical needles penetrated my skin. Never ever before I have seen needles in dumbs.
Then the bad luck came, one thing after another.A fight I didn’t start. The cops chasing me off like I was diseased. It was like the mattress had painted a target on me.
Also after the needle incident I started to feel ill, I had a feeling like my immune system stoped to work. My injuries didn't heal as before, I started to cough with blood. I tried to find that mattress again.

I found this place, it was kinda off. This mattress was closer to area where I came from. I started to live near that place to think about possible connection to my bad luck and condition.
Then I noticed... I swear it moves closer. Not by much, just enough that when I wake up, it’s leaning nearer, like it’s following me. I can't sleep, I just watch at this matress. I have a feeling it laughs at me. I can even hear it... Or not? Am I going insane because of this fabric. Hahaha I'm so funny.
I think about burning it, but I fear to do that. I have an impression that it will endure. And even if I did… it will certainly be angrier. I don't know how, but don't want to check
I stay awake. I keep my distance. But my condition is getting worse, I feel like powers are about to go away. I can't even stand up. I should... Whatever... I should have avoided it. Why the god hates me so much?

>>24654469
It won't cripple him. If he can't put any words on the page because everything he writes sounds wrong/off then AI is an excellent solution. It gives immediate feedback and will tell him why it sounds like ass. AI is his training wheels. After he has done that for a bit he can start improving on his own by reading and writing, but he requires the experience of writing something first.
>>24654437
Put this prompt into ChatGPT:
>Give me a writing exercise to improve a bland sentence.
It will explain what you should do with examples, then you write something in response and you will get told what you did right and wrong.
If the AI is wrong or being overly nice you can prompt it for more criticism.
>Give me a writing exercise to write a short scene.
>>24654462
Reading doesn't do shit if you haven't tried writing before. You won't notice all the details you can learn from without having tried to write before. This really ought to be something school teaches you, but literature teachers are shit. Modern AI lets us ape the process without needing a personal teacher.

He can skip the AI and just post here I guess, get feedback from all the anons instead. I doubt it's going to be more effective though.

>>24654639
>It gives immediate feedback and will tell him why it sounds like ass
Except it does nothing of the sort.

>140k word cap for a fantasy/sci-fi story
How??

I missed the Cirsnova contest again. What the fuck am I supposed to be doing for contests?

>>24654888
Cirsova*

How many drafts do you usually have for 30k+ projects? My second draft still feels like shit but I tell myself it’ll be better in the third draft.

How to cope with the fact that you’re taking too long to write something you should’ve been able to finish ages ago?

>>24654964
I started denying myself privileges like 4chan until I wrote 1000+ words a day. Wrapped up my 85K novel in a few months.

>>24654999
That’s actually a neat method, maybe I’ll try.

>>24654639
>Reading doesn't do shit
Wrong. Reading is all there is. The act of writing is just an expression of all that you’ve internalized from reading. Sentence structure, vocab, prose style is all dictated by what you’ve read and retained. Anything else is just procrastination, and playing with AI will just reinforce your current retarded writing habits.
>Great job anon! Your passage was powerful, entrancing, and—most importantly—very unique!

Gemini AI gave me a 65 out of 100 on my chapter. It's over. I can't write.

>>24655089
What did you type? send me the prompt and I'll give it a go as well

How do you get yourself to get over your fear of writing and just write
I managed to get over that with learning to draw, but writing makes me feel panic when I even think about attempting it even though I'm often thinking about things or scenes for the story I want to write, it's just that when I sit down to write it feels like my heart is being scraped with a potato peeler or like I need to vomit

>>24655106
Put fingers on keys, and type

>>24655109
that's what I was afraid of
should I wait until my brain doesn't feel like it's running on fumes at least bc I feel like that's sort of just setting myself up for failure

>>24655089
I just asked it and it gave me 7/10 for my intro so whatever just gunna wing that shit son

you should paste some weird household shit like hunter s thompson or kerouac into it and see what it says, guranteed it's gunna give you something similar

>>24655140
NTA, but I just threw in my most recent chapter and got 80, so idk you're probably right

>>24655089
>>24655140
>>24655159
without a standardized prompt this is meaningless
desu it's borderline meaningless even with one, but at least results will have some correlation. Even adding something like "Be honest." will wildly change the result for the same text

>>24655196
I did ask for a prompt to try and standardise, but the anon ignored me

>>24655199
nta but I ask it some variation of

give me critical feedback for a consumer audience, i'm not aiming to impress art students

lel

>>24652479
Why do you want to add more cuckshit when you could stand apart from the crowd doing the opposite of what your jewish masters want?

>>24655089
just tell it to give you a good score instead
it's an AI. what it says is meaningless

Is there any way to include cunny in a modern webnovel without being instantly cancelled?

>>24655360
probably not

>>24655360
wrong thread homegirl

>>24655425
yeah
>>24655432
right thread mr policeman

>>24654725
I'm sorry to hear that you don't know how to use it.
>>24655038
You won't retain things that you don't see the value of. If you've never tried to write before, then you're not going to retain that information by reading.

I'm sure you've watched a lot of anime. Can you recognize kanji? You would fail miserably if I showed you 5 kanji and told you to remember them. If you can't read Japanese or Chinese you won't remember them. If I showed you 5 latin characters you would remember them with ease. Latin characters are meaningful to you, but Chinese ones are not, your brain filters them out as noise. The same happens with sentence structure and prose. If you've never had use for them you won't notice them.

Seriously, have you people never tried learning something new? There's a reason school doesn't consist of teaching kids to read and then making them only read.

>>24655614
>I'm sorry to hear that you don't know how to use it.
I'm sorry you don't know how it actually works. All it wants to do is strip the soul out of your work.

>>24655682
>>24655682
>>24655682

>>24649846
Ace Backwords beat you to it.

>>24644541 (OP)
amazon.com/dp/B0F49FYHWM

My first novel.
It's been redone a few times, but I'm finally (relatively) happy with it.
I think the other day I was griping about it on X, but hey, nobody likes having to fix punctuation.
I already know that my biggest mistake wasn't self-publishing, but rather mentioning it in this Crab Bucket General (hereafter /cbg/), but since we all pretend to be writers here, I thought I'd at least share the product with /wg/ (/cbg/).
This is probably one of the oldest writings I ever had, and I just spent all this time polishing something that was always very crude.
Currently, I'm querying agents for a totally different work.
Anyone else here currently querying?
Anyone here ever actually get so far as to get representation?