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Thread 42485118

191 posts 64 images /mlp/
Anonymous No.42485118 >>42485129 >>42485136 >>42485143 >>42485173 >>42485223 >>42485228 >>42485392 >>42485475 >>42485530 >>42485537 >>42485711 >>42485831 >>42485862 >>42486155 >>42486664 >>42487232 >>42487235 >>42488804 >>42490021 >>42491712 >>42491724 >>42494659
She's not a virgin
For some reason this fact is contentious and highly disagreed-upon.
Anonymous No.42485129
>>42485118 (OP)
Shut it troon
Anonymous No.42485136 >>42485166 >>42485221 >>42485399
>>42485118 (OP)
Truth bomb. 1000 year old and not one lover? Yeah no. She has sexed 100s of stallions and mares. Her blownout monte Christo lookin vagina is probably big enough to toss a baby down.
Anonymous No.42485143 >>42490500
>>42485118 (OP)
She will be when im done with her
Anonymous No.42485166 >>42485472
>>42485136
*colts and colts
Anonymous No.42485173
>>42485118 (OP)
I've seen her infected quesadilla pussy. The only thing that's ever been in there is her infected pus strings
Anonymous No.42485192
There was no party like a celestia party
Anonymous No.42485196 >>42486744
Wrong, she's saving herself for a trad virgin monkey
Anonymous No.42485221 >>42486255
>>42485136
>1000 year old and not one lover? Yeah no.
Why not? She's the only alicorn around, why would she soil herself with some lowly pony, or god forbid creature?
Anonymous No.42485223 >>42485485
>>42485118 (OP)
Of course not, i fucked her first, she is my wife
Anonymous No.42485228 >>42485323
>>42485118 (OP)
All alicorns make a permanent vow of celibacy to achieve alicornhood. Celestia, Luna, Cadance, and Twilight (canon, btw) will NEVER fuck OR cum
Anonymous No.42485323
>>42485228
I mean, have you seen their size?
Imagine trying to please a mare three times your height
Anonymous No.42485392 >>42486796 >>42493157
>>42485118 (OP)
Anonymous No.42485399 >>42485488 >>42488509
>>42485136
She's saving herself for the right pony to come along. Which is going to be me.
Anonymous No.42485472
>>42485166
every colt you see in the show is already a father to one of celestias foals
Anonymous No.42485475 >>42485485
>>42485118 (OP)
That's right. I fucked her first.
Anonymous No.42485485
>>42485475
sorry, i did it first and we are married and expecring human-alicorn demigods, see >>42485223
Anonymous No.42485488 >>42485501
>>42485399
YWNBAP
Anonymous No.42485501
>>42485488
Dial 8, troon.
Anonymous No.42485515 >>42485523 >>42490468
>Yes, Anon.
>I am a virgi-
>Pffftthahahah!
>Oh, I'm sorry, I couldn't keep it together!
>Oh, heavens no.
>I've been alive for well over a thousand years.
>I've had several husbands and I loved every one of them but, time has taught me that immortality can... numb somepony to the pain of loss.
>Truth be told, I've been without any intimacy for so long that I don't even care about it anymore.
>My sister on the other hoof...
Anonymous No.42485523
>>42485515
Slut
Anonymous No.42485530
>>42485118 (OP)
No duh, cuz we had sex ;)
Anonymous No.42485537 >>42485669 >>42486200 >>42486664 >>42486802 >>42486830 >>42486834
>>42485118 (OP)
Celestia is the untouched virgin par excellence. It's right there in her design:

>Coat:
White. Not just any white, but the white. The kind of white that isn't just untainted, it's so blindingly pristine it makes you feel ashamed of your own filth just looking at it. It’s not "ivory" or "eggshell" or "soft pearl." No, Celestia’s coat is the "untouched snow on a Himalayan peak," a white so pure that even thinking about impurities within a 10-mile radius might make it dim. Faust might as well have inscribed "VIRGINITY GUARANTEED" in gold on her forehead.

>Mane and tail:
Not just any colors, but a rainbow. And we all know the rainbow is the very essence of wonder, innocence, and childish fantasy.
NOTHING ELSE.
They doesn't just flow with the wind; they billow with the very essence of virginity itself.

>Crown, Collar, and Horseshoes:
Crafted from 24-carat 'PURE' gold, devoid of any impurity.

>Wings:
Again, purest white. These aren't just any wings. They're the wings of an angel who has never known sin, whose feathers are as spotless as her virtue. To gaze upon them is to understand what it means to be celestial and chaste.

Meanwhile her sister:
>"Mare of the night."
Kek. The contrast couldn't be more stark, and the implication more clear.
Anonymous No.42485669 >>42485675
>>42485537
>male insecurity male insecurity male insecurity bleeeeggh

Yeah whatever, your masculinity is very secure, I'm sure
Anonymous No.42485675 >>42490473
>>42485669
>seething and coping roastie
Reminder that virginity has always been and always will be desired by men
Sorry your mom didn't tell you not to throw it away
Anonymous No.42485711 >>42488897
>>42485118 (OP)
thats fine, i'm also not a virgin.
Anonymous No.42485831
>>42485118 (OP)
Sunfags slashing their wrists to this news
How will they recover?
Twilight Sparkle No.42485862
>>42485118 (OP)
She's a virgin, like me
Anonymous No.42486155
>>42485118 (OP)
her flatulence can gas out entire rooms
Anonymous No.42486200 >>42486212
>>42485537
This btfo the OP
Anonymous No.42486212
>>42486200
OP is a fag so getting BTFO is his fetish
Anonymous No.42486226 >>42486253
No shit.
Princess Luna is her designated cum dumpster
Anonymous No.42486253
>>42486226
>futa

Kill yourself.
Anonymous No.42486255 >>42487114
>>42485221
The Greek gods fucked mortals all the time
Anonymous No.42486664
>>42485118 (OP)
Yes and no. You see, her principal symbol in my dreams is a phoenix. I doubt it's ever as crude or straghtforward for her as, for example, for that big magisterially incompetent Kirin queen, but eventually, somehow, in some mysterious ways, Celestia restores everything she loses. That's what we saw in action when she returned her lost sister, and later again when she snatched back from the clutches of time looped oblivion the entire Crystal kingdom. I think it's what she is, originally. It's the talent she used to have before she connected herself to the sun and got her cutie mark. If there is a parallel timeline where Lauren never left, there should be a persistent season arc structure in it: Celestia Restores Shit.
>>42485537
>NOTHING ELSE.
Wrong. Celestia's rainbow is there as a hint because there's more to colors than finite-dimensional color spaces can handle and while the difference is negligible with more ponies sometimes there are different semantics to different spectra. Celestia's white is flat spectrum, not black body. That's how we now she's more than just a sun gal. Her sunness is superficial, shallow. Which is not the same as unimportant, of course.
>Crafted from 24-carat 'PURE' gold
Wrong again. According to my dreams, it's mountain copper, very similar to modern brass. She enjoys wearing it because it used to be a symbol of deceit back when alloying was this cool new technology everypony talked about. I don't know why she wants to be this comical trickster mare so much. Trickery certainly doesn't come naturally to her: she has to think of it, work on it, discipline herself to be trickier. Maybe she tries to be more like somebody else from her past, or maybe she's just being silly. (No she never romanced Discord or Sombra, that's utter bullshit, fuck you if that's what you're thinking about)
Anonymous No.42486744
>>42485196
Me on the right.
Anonymous No.42486796
>>42485392
Canon
Anonymous No.42486802 >>42486834
>>42485537
Celestia's mane isn't even a real rainbow, just like she isn't a real virgin. You may now cope and rope
Anonymous No.42486830 >>42486841 >>42486854 >>42490916
>>42485537
Celestias mane is actually supposed to be the aurora borealis. Though I always found it reminding me more of polar stratospheric clouds.
Anonymous No.42486834 >>42486845 >>42486871
>>42486802
>>42485537
Celestia's mane is made up of colors from the most recent stallions to have blown a load in her. She absorbs a little of their magical essence and it reflects in her mane
Anonymous No.42486841 >>42486870
>>42486830
>aurora borealis
no is not, its a rainbow
Anonymous No.42486845
>>42486834
Deepest lore.
Anonymous No.42486854 >>42486870
>>42486830
Oh boy it's this motherfucker again, my arch nemesis. Aurora Anon

>the thing always associated with nighttime and cold polar regions in cartoons

Not buyin' it bucko sorry.
Anonymous No.42486862 >>42486870 >>42487021 >>42487032
The concept of a white unicorn/winged unicorn with rainbow mane has existed long before Celestia. The justification for Celestia is that she controls the sun and the sun makes rainbows
Anonymous No.42486870 >>42486908
>>42486841
>>42486854
It's missing way too many colours for it to be a rainbow, I'm not gonna listen to you colour blind motherfuckers.

>>42486862
The sun also makes aurora borealis.
Anonymous No.42486871
>>42486834
Celestia being a [generic fantasy white unicorn with a 'rainbow mane'] just makes her a symbol of used goods so this checks out.
Anonymous No.42486908
>>42486870
>it's not literally ROYGBIV so I refuse to acknowledge the clear intention that her multi-color mane is supposed to evoke a rainbow

You are the worst kind of person. NO ONE ASSOCIATES AURORAS WITH THE FUCKING DAYTIME
Anonymous No.42487021
>>42486862
>Ξ³-mare on the far bottom
Would.
So ultraviolet mares are like dwarves, strong as fuck shortstacks, whereas infrared mares are cuddly gentle giants?
Anonymous No.42487032 >>42487080 >>42487090
>>42486862
That pic has given me a schizo idea.

The sun produces white light. As we all know, white light contains all the colors of the rainbow. Celestia is white and her mane is a rainbow, so Celestia is like a prism. The most famous pop culture depiction of a prism separating white light into a rainbow is the album cover of The Dark Side of the Moon. The moon obviously symbolizes Luna, and her dark side is Nightmare Moon, so the album title refers to Nightmare Moon. An album whose cover refers to Celestia and whose title refers to Nightmare Moon can mean only one thing: The members of Pink Floyd were originally from Equestria and went through the mirror portal to get to Earth. The title of their later album The Wall obviously refers to the fact that the portal is now closed.

How'd I do? Do I sound like a real schizo?
Anonymous No.42487080
>>42487032
Proud Anon
Anonymous No.42487090
>>42487032
Frankly, I prefer more actionable insanity. Schematics, calculations, alchemical recipies, mad science stuff that'd get you flagged by every secret society with an APT in google server farms out there and ultimately black bagged or at least David Hahn'd by glowies. But yeah you're alright.
Anonymous No.42487114 >>42487167
>>42486255
Never apply the corrupt laws of our world to Equestria.
Anonymous No.42487167 >>42487195
>>42487114
Meds
Anonymous No.42487195
>>42487167
yes, take them and stop applying your shit on the ponies
Anonymous No.42487232 >>42487246 >>42487641
>>42485118 (OP)
I don't know how should could be, except that she does not have, and to our knowledge never has had, any children. It would be pretty dark to bring up in a kids show though, since we know that apart from Flurry, no alicorn was ever born (Maybe Celestia and Luna were, but they get to tell everypony whatever the fuck they want since they are demi-gods who've been around forever), so maybe she has had a kid(s) and we just don't know it. I mean, she has a nephew somehow. Maybe there was a child or children born many generations ago and now that bloodline is just her "nephew". Still you'd think if Celestia took a lover and had a child, she would make the thing an alicorn. A mother's love and all that.

Alternatively she is sterile, or her long life has numbed her to the mortals and she just fuck around and aborts or puts them up for adoption or whatever.

It's hard to say, because like everything else in the show, Celestia got all fucked up as seasons went on. She was like a revered goddess figure in the beginning, and by the end that had completely changed. I suppose that happens though. It's actually kind of a natural growth if you think about it. In the beginning, when the show was young and it was an endless magical wonderful land that dazzled the eyes stirred the soul, Celestia was like mommy to all the little ponies. She was JUST that. The mommy goddess of a young child. As the show grew older, we began to see her in a different light. She wasn't infallible or all-knowing anymore. More and more we began to see that mommy is just a mare. I guess it's a lesson for the growing child, but it makes for really shitty epic lore. You know what? Headcanon whatever you want. It don't matter. None of this matters.
Anonymous No.42487235 >>42488439
>>42485118 (OP)
Waifufags like to believe in best case scenarios, can you blame them?
Anonymous No.42487246 >>42488515
>>42487232
>Celestia was like mommy to all the little ponies.
She's still a mommy to me!
Anonymous No.42487641
>>42487232
You could also delve into the legitimacy bombshell that could come from the royal sisters having a bunch of demi-god children disputing their claims to the equestrian throne centuries into the future.
Instead of damning the nation towards that, Celestia might have gone the queen Victoria route a millenia ago, and never had a partner since then.
Anonymous No.42488439
>>42487235
It's a good mindset for your health.
Anonymous No.42488509
>>42485399
Based and true
She is waiting especially for (You) in the afterlife
Anonymous No.42488515
>>42487246
Anonymous No.42488792 >>42488824 >>42488867 >>42490483 >>42490490
If you actively WANT Celestia to have lived a cold, sad, lonely, repressed celibate life for 1,000 fucking years just because YOU are a possessive insecure piece of shit who has a fucking mental breakdown if a woman has so much as LOOKED at another man's penis before yours, then you do not love Celestia. You do not deserve her. And she would NEVER want anything to do with someone as selfish and shallow as you.

She would immediately see right through your pathetic bitch-ass, grow up.
Anonymous No.42488804
>>42485118 (OP)
She quite enjoys getting dicked and even short relationships, but getting her to stick is going to be hard since she's seen so many loved ones grow old and die around her while she's unchanged.
Anonymous No.42488824 >>42490935
>>42488792
Based sunfren
Anonymous No.42488867
>>42488792
>cold, sad, lonely, repressed celibate life
Tells lot about you.
Anonymous No.42488897
>>42485711
Faggot
Anonymous No.42490021 >>42490449 >>42494381
>>42485118 (OP)
She had better have at least as much experience as me. Or else I'm gonna tell her she's a bad lay, and I know that'll hurt.
Anonymous No.42490449 >>42494381
>>42490021
Anonymous No.42490468
>>42485515
>Cuckold fantasy
Anonymous No.42490473
>>42485675
Uber based

Thottery will never be attractive no matter how much ((((they)))) continue to push it
Anonymous No.42490483 >>42490558 >>42493725
>>42488792
Oh shit it's the roastie from previous threads seething that men would not want the object of their affection to be an unfaithful whore lmfao
Anonymous No.42490490
>>42488792
>YOU are a possessive insecure piece of shit who has a fucking mental breakdown if a woman has so much as LOOKED at another man's penis before yours, then you do not love Celestia
Unbelievable levels of seethe
How many times were you pumped and dumped?
Anonymous No.42490495 >>42490499 >>42490737
I don't really care either way but a lot of anons are considering killing themselves because they haven't gotten laid before age 30 and they really think it's unreasonable for Celestia to fuck a few times in her thousand years of life. 4chanbrain is a wonderful thing.
Anonymous No.42490499
>>42490495
Roastie, nobody here thinks like that. This isn't your homeboard /r9k/.
Anonymous No.42490500
>>42485143
But princess luna, that would be incest
Anonymous No.42490558 >>42490583 >>42490613 >>42490729 >>42490860
>>42490483
Spoken like a true virgin. If you had ever had sex, you'd know that sex with experienced women is better than sex with virgins. (I mean two X chromosome women. I don't know about sex with the other kind.) Experienced women can give you a blowjob that actually gets you off. Experienced women can pump back and forth with you instead of making you accidentally slip out. You have no idea how many hours of practice it takes before you're decent at sex, let alone good. (And men have to practice too, I'm told.) So I hope Celestia isn't a virgin. I hope she lost her virginity a thousand years ago. That way, when I arrive, we'll be ready for each other.
Anonymous No.42490583 >>42491717 >>42492319
>>42490558
Spoken like a true coombrained gooner.
Why does it matter if the sex is good or not?
Anonymous No.42490613
>>42490558
Anonymous No.42490729 >>42491717
>>42490558
>Not wanting to learn how to please each other perfectly together, molding both of your bodies' to each other for the rest of your life
Coombrained degenerates like you wouldn't understand anything about this, since your attraction to another is solely based on lust, and no love whatsoever.
Anonymous No.42490737 >>42490833 >>42491717
>>42490495
>and they really think it's unreasonable for Celestia to fuck a few times in her thousand years of life
The problem is the other side nas no argument why she would fuck around, except "she just would, ok?"
Anonymous No.42490791 >>42490835
ITT: Hypocritical Browns
Only browns are obsessed with virginity while masturbating and having sex 7 times a day and going insane if they don't jack off for even 1 day. For their disgusting XX counterpats.
Anonymous No.42490833 >>42490838 >>42490841 >>42490844
>>42490737
Why wouldn’t she? If she is 1,000+ years old (Luna was banished 1,000+15 years ago, so the sisters must have been around for some time before then) why wouldn’t she have at least made love once or twice? She’s a fucking demigod. If you were alive for millennia you wouldn’t β€œfuck around” some? How can you blame her for loving? This isn’t even a regular relationship where you could get all upset that you’re the same age but your girl is a slut who’s taken 5 miles of dick while you were loyal the whole time.

Celestia is more than you will ever be. She lives for scores of generations at least. You are a fleeting mortal who would judge a god unworthy/disloyal? For what? For genuinely loving a lesser being such as yourself? Who are you, who are destined to die so soon, to question the love of a goddess who is cursed to see everyone she has ever cared for die before her? You would call her a whorse because she was unfortunate enough to live? You would discount it all? The lovemaking, the childbirth and rearing, the suffering of losing your lover and then your child? Of seeing entire lineages go extinct? You would discount it all as β€œfuck[ing] around”?
Anonymous No.42490835 >>42490933
>>42490791
>Only browns are obsessed with virginity
Is this the new script?
Anonymous No.42490838 >>42490847
>>42490833
>Celestia is more than you will ever be.
>But she NEEDS sex you see!
>She would have a cold, sad, lonely, repressed life without it!
Anonymous No.42490841 >>42491717
>>42490833
I don't care.

She's saving herself for me. It's too bad that this concept of treating your virginity as something special and worthy only of giving to your one true love seems to boggle your mind, but I can assure you it's a (You) problem.
Anonymous No.42490844
>>42490833
>because
see there it is, no argument in fact you contradict yourself even
Anonymous No.42490847 >>42490878
>>42490838
>She would have a cold, sad, lonely, repressed life without it!
Literally yes, retard. Without someone to share her warmth and happiness with, to be with, and to share her whole self with, she would have a cold, sad, lonely, repressed life. You fucking idiot. You cretin.
Anonymous No.42490860
>>42490558
>It's all about performance
Quite literally most porn-brained post on /mlp/ in a long while.
Anonymous No.42490878
>>42490847
>You need sex for that!
Anonymous No.42490889 >>42491717
I love how in one message it goes:
>Celestia is bigger than you! A goddess!
And then immediately projects onto her that she NEEDED sex in her life.
Anonymous No.42490916 >>42490956
>>42486830
At this time of year?

Localized entirely in her mane?
Anonymous No.42490922 >>42490927
She has lived so long and fucked so much that she can only get off to voring lesser ponies at this point.
Anonymous No.42490927 >>42490932
>>42490922
Is is that that keeps her mane flowing?
Anonymous No.42490932
>>42490927
Yes.
Anonymous No.42490933 >>42491632
>>42490835
>new
Always has been. Saudi Arabians are obsessed with virgins when buying/selling them.
Anonymous No.42490935 >>42490940 >>42490951 >>42490963
>>42488824
They hated Anon, because he told the truth. The cope ITT is insane.

What does it even matter what she needs? (It’S nOt CalLeD tHe BiLl Of NeEdS!) what if she just wants love? Does she not deserve it? Do you hate her for it? Is she only attractive to you if her entire existence is lonely but for you?

Let me guess:
>But I haven’t had sex and I feel totally fulfilled and happy!
>I-it’s not like I spend all day thinking about what it would be like to have a pony as a lover!
>To have and to hold.
>To breed and to raise babies with…

You do not love Celestia. You simply wish to own her. To own a God. You only lust for power and primacy. You don’t care one bit for her happiness. You are the Devil.
Anonymous No.42490940
>>42490935
>Does she not deserve it?
Careful, we wouldn't want regular men to have that same idea about deserving love now...
Anonymous No.42490951 >>42490999 >>42491010
>>42490935
>Does she not deserve it? Do you hate her for it? Is she only attractive to you if her entire existence is lonely but for you
Nobody said that.
We are just mocking:
>Celestia is more than you will ever be.
Only for it to then be followed by:
>If you were alive for millennia you wouldn’t β€œfuck around” some?
Which is peak retardation and projection.
Anonymous No.42490956
>>42490916
yes
Anonymous No.42490963 >>42491022
>>42490935
>what if she just wants love
not what the lesser people, like you, are projecting on her
if your ideas for celestia follow what that fan comic, that is quite shit might i add, says then you don't understand celestia or the show

simple as
Anonymous No.42490999 >>42491019
>>42490951
I didn’t say she would β€œfuck around”. Anon reduced her love to β€œfuck[ing] around”. Notice the quotes?
Anonymous No.42491010
>>42490951
the idea that if they were in that position of power they would use it to bump uglies constantly is peak projection yes, just a silly power trip that tells a lot about how desperate those anons are for action or about needing validation and a justification to be a whore themselves

I wouldn't be surprised if this thread, along with others lately, are made by some ptfg fag
Anonymous No.42491019
>>42490999
nobody said you said it
again stop projecting on others, you will be happy
Anonymous No.42491022 >>42491087
>>42490963
I don’t know or care about your fan comic drama. I don’t know or care about who the artist is or their political and social opinions. All I care about is that you would hate Celestia because she dared to love, once upon, against your will, ages before you were ever even a glint in your father’s eye.
Anonymous No.42491087
>>42491022
>agrees with comic posted by anon
>a-actually i dont care about what the author says in the comic
lmao
>you would [Cope and Retardation]
you just want to project your cynical views, you are the one that is narrow minded and you dodn't realize it which is funny


simple as that, but there is no wrong way to fantasize just keep your retardation to yourself instead of pushing it onto other people
Anonymous No.42491632
>>42490933
And that's why Equestria needs to invade Saddle Arabia.
Anonymous No.42491642 >>42491649
Females shouldn't be allowed to have fun, enjoy things or leave the house because they are incapable of handling the responsibility and the consequences of their actions
Anonymous No.42491649
>>42491642
Oh and no internet either
Anonymous No.42491712
>>42485118 (OP)
>she's not a virgin
Maybe
> therefore she's a slut
That's where I draw the line. I hate all of your guys who besmirch the sun goddess.
Anonymous No.42491717 >>42491791 >>42492473 >>42493858
>>42490583
Because we're gonna fuck. A lot. It might be hard for you to imagine, but two people in a stable, loving, multi-decade relationship end up having a lot of sex. Fifteen minutes three times a week times thirty years equals over thousand hours of sex (and I hope to live much longer than thirty years with her). Why would I want that to get off to a bad start?
>>42490729
Do you honestly believe that Celestia has gone a thousand years without ever falling in love? A pony who can't find love in a thousand years sure isn't going to fall in love with you. She's probably been married several times already. And I hope her marriages were happy and they had lots of sex.
>>42490737
Because she fell in love before. I don't think she lives the coombrained fantasy of centuries of nonstop orgies. I just think she has normal relationships like everypony else.
>>42490841
>She's saving herself for me.
Why would she do that if she doesn't even know you exist? Think of it this way: A thousand years ago, it was the year 1025. Europe was in the Middle Ages, and the dominant power was the Holy Roman Empire. Imagine you are one of the Holy Roman Emperors. Are you really going to think, "I'm saving myself for someone who will be born almost a thousand years from now"? Of course not. You're going to live a normal life. You're going to fall in love, and get married, and have sex.
>>42490889
I'm actually sympathetic to the idea that, as a goddess, she has a different kind of life than the rest of us. Maybe she doesn't fall in love. Maybe she doesn't even have genitalia. But if it's possible for her to fall in love and have sex, then it's going to happen before I ever get to Equestria. And I'm okay with that, because I want her to be happy.
Anonymous No.42491724
>>42485118 (OP)
>More twilard disparaging of any pony not twilight
Go be gay somewhere else
Anonymous No.42491791 >>42492059
>>42491717
you sound like a cuck but if that's what you are into im not one to judge, just make fun of
Anonymous No.42492059 >>42492078 >>42492098
>>42491791
Okay, just so long as I can laugh with her when she makes fun of your ridiculous purity fantasy.
Anonymous No.42492078
>>42492059
>Celestia even taking interest in you
ROFLMAO
Anonymous No.42492098 >>42492188 >>42492341
>>42492059
>she makes fun your fantasy
i guess i struck a nerve and you outted yourself as a tourist

don't worry bud, she will understand your cuck fantasies, not so much why you don't own up to them and try to put others down or your weird ideas bout her though

i'll just laugh at you
Anonymous No.42492116 >>42492127 >>42492130
why can't it just be agreed upon that she's a chaste mare who wants love more than anything, but would fuck your brains out to try for a foal?
>captcha: 4GAYG
Anonymous No.42492127 >>42492135
>>42492116
it is, only the loud minority (with a certain fetish) disagrees
>verification? unrequired
Anonymous No.42492130 >>42492341 >>42493830
>>42492116
This is objectively true but if you've paid any attention there are anons who hate you and want your fantasies ruined.

Funny thing. I can't be fucked to find the archive but the anon who used to point out she's a slut is a literal self admitted faggot

If you let a fag ruin your straight fantasy I think that makes you gay. So don't.
Anonymous No.42492135
>>42492127
That loud minority is a literal faggot.
Anonymous No.42492188 >>42492422
>>42492098
Kek. You really think she won't laugh when you tell her about your fantasy? She won't do it in public. In public, she'll be nice to you, because she's like that:
>"Anon? You know I've been married five times already, right? So I haven't been a virgin since before you were born. I'm sorry to say you'll never be able to live out your fantasy. Oh, no. Don't start crying, please. You can still have your fantasy, it just can't be real. Some fantasies are like that."
But in private to Luna:
>"Would you believe what happened to me today? This green ape told me he wanted to marry me. Yeah, like the one who came to you last week. But listen to this. He said he had been 'saving himself' for me and he could make all my fantasies come true. And I thought, oh, one of those. But then he said I wouldn't have to be a virgin anymore! I know, right? I almost burst out laughing right there in front of him. And I tried to break it to him gently, you know, but he started to cry. And then I felt sorry for him, because you can't really laugh at someone who's crying. And then I wondered whether he had ever had proper access to mental health care. Next thing I knew, the guards were carrying him out."
Anonymous No.42492242
>She's not a virgin
Well yeah, Sunset Shimmer had to come from somewhere.
Anonymous No.42492319
>>42490583
Gooners don't have sex, that's why they goon.
Anonymous No.42492325
I hope you guys are okay.
Anonymous No.42492341 >>42492350 >>42492360
>>42492130
>>42492098
>reddit spacing
Anonymous No.42492350
>>42492341
>I've never posted to reddit but because i like spacing anything i say gets invalidated
Anonymous No.42492360
>>42492341
Projection. You defending faggotry and calling ponies sluts is peak reddit.
Anonymous No.42492422 >>42492543
>>42492188
Prep the bull is the motto in your household, and you aint the bull
Anonymous No.42492467 >>42492481
Why should Sunfags even care if Celestia canonically had sex or not. If Equestria is the afterlife then it will be 100% suited to your wishes. Because if this were not to be the case, then you will just be transported to Season 9 or G% Equestria - so when imagining Equestria as an afterlife, which most people imagine as early-season Equestria, you are already changing key aspects to your whims anyways.
Anonymous No.42492473 >>42492543
>>42491717
Higher number of sexual partners decreases marital satisfaction and increases divorce rates
If you want to have a stable and happy marriage, you're going to want a virgin spouse
You, however, are a coombrained cuck fetishist or a coping roastie
Anonymous No.42492481
>>42492467
>then you will just be transported to Season 9 or G% Equestria
If this is true, at least we'd get Izzy, so not all hope is lost!
Anonymous No.42492504 >>42492531 >>42492533
Add to this chart your take on Celestia.
Anonymous No.42492531
>>42492504
>Gooner chart
Anonymous No.42492533
>>42492504
you have your own thread faggot, use it
Anonymous No.42492543 >>42492570 >>42492909 >>42492946 >>42493160
>>42492422
You're a virgin, and you tell yourself that you are by choice, so you imagine that Celestia is also a virgin by choice because that way you have something in common. Without that, you'd have nothing in common because she's not an autist. I prefer a more realistic scenario where she's been happily married at least once in the past thousand years. If she's never been married, then I'm going to wonder what's wrong with her.
>>42492473
And you're an autistic incel. Don't you want her to be happy? She can be happy for 50 or 60 years with a nice stallion. A few hundred years after that, I'm born, and I can try to make her happy for another few decades. Some day, I'll die, too, but I hope that after she recovers from that, she finds another nice stallion to be with.
Anonymous No.42492570 >>42493147
>>42492543
How many roasties do you bow down to every day?
Anonymous No.42492909 >>42493147 >>42493649
>>42492543
Every man who does not have a slut fetish is going to prefer a virgin bride
Your efforts to spread your cuck fantasy to others will not succeed
Anonymous No.42492946 >>42493147
>>42492543
This nigga again. Dude, YOU ARE LITERALLY GAY. you don't remember admitting it but I do.
Anonymous No.42493147 >>42493211 >>42493215
>>42492570
Zero.
>>42492909
>wanting your wife to be happy her whole life long is a cuck fantasy
>>42492946
>only one person in the world can possibly disagree with me
I have no idea who you're talking about, but it's not me. I've only ever had sex with XX chromosome women.
Anonymous No.42493157
>>42485392
>G% fanfic
Yawn
Anonymous No.42493160
>>42492543
>because she's not an autist
Arguable. She got better at managing her condition as centuries passed, but it's easy to imagine many neurotypical unicorn archmages trying to partake of her divine nature when she was younger and more gullible.
Unicorn archmages, and one suave bat pony rogue with a paper horn on his head. That's when bats were exiled and Equestria was down to three tribes.
Anonymous No.42493164 >>42493227 >>42494088
Obligatory reminder
Anonymous No.42493211 >>42493518
>>42493147
>Fantasizing about my waifu fucking others doesn't make me a cuck
Sure it doesn't
Anonymous No.42493215 >>42493518
>>42493147
You have never scored with a woman who was born as a woman
Anonymous No.42493227 >>42493616
>>42493164
>Hermione is black (straight up contradicting canon)
>Dumbledore is gay
Yeah no. If it's not in the show, it's a headcanon no matter who says it.
Anonymous No.42493518 >>42493530 >>42493565 >>42493640
>>42493211
You seem to lack an important life skill: The ability to distinguish fact from fiction. Facts are things that are true. For example, it is a fact that we are on earth. Fiction is something that's not true; MLP is fiction. Fantasy is the kind of fiction you wish were true. Marrying Celestia is a fantasy. Let me provide you with another example, one closer to your experience: It is a fact that you still live with your parents. It is fiction that you shower regularly. It is fantasy to believe you will ever support yourself.

Now that we have that straight, I can get to the point: It is a fact, not a "cuck fetish", that a human or pony who has been an adult for 1000 years is very likely to have had sex. It is fiction that anypony is going to save their virginity for someone who is centuries away from being born. And it is fantasy to believe (You) will ever make it to Equestria.
>>42493215
I'm not scared of Celestia having scored with a real stallion because I've scored with a real woman.
Anonymous No.42493530
>>42493518
Hamplanets and trannies are the only thing you have experience with.
Anonymous No.42493565
>>42493518
It is a fiction that colorful talking and singing equines exist. Your overly detailed argument is shit. Fantasy trumps because ponies aren't real, so the imagination of them need not conform to ANY standard. Certainly not ones you detail.
Anonymous No.42493616 >>42493620 >>42493621 >>42493623 >>42494149
>>42493227
>If it's not in the show, it's a headcanon no matter who says it.
So all of this is canon then? Great logic.
Anonymous No.42493620
>>42493616
How could it not be canon its in the show
Anonymous No.42493621
>>42493616
The show ended in 2013
Anonymous No.42493623 >>42493633
>>42493616
This image makes you realize that this show actually sucked.
Anonymous No.42493633
>>42493623
It's like a movie that has a great intro scene and then devolves into 2 hours of shit. You wouldn't say
>but the beginning was good
It doesn't matter. The show fucking sucked. And when you look at the board metrics, it bears this out. It's like that movie and everyone walked out in the first 30 minutes. That's not a good movie.
Anonymous No.42493640 >>42493646
>>42493518
>Let me provide you with another example, one closer to your experience: It is a fact that you still live with your parents. It is fiction that you shower regularly. It is fantasy to believe you will ever support yourself.
Absolutely seething that nobody is sharing your shameful cuck fantasy
Anonymous No.42493646
>>42493640
He's Spike in the background.
Anonymous No.42493649 >>42493651
>>42492909
>Long dead spouse
>Cuck fantasy
Retard.
Anonymous No.42493651 >>42493655 >>42493659 >>42493660 >>42493913
>>42493649
>Yes, I fantasize about my waifu having sex with others before me
>No, I'm not a cuck
Anonymous No.42493655 >>42493913
>>42493651
>i have to because it's not realistic if I don't
That's his whole defense. Yeah, that's someone who wants to be cucked
Anonymous No.42493659 >>42493674
>>42493651
You have living spouses being cucked threads up right now, don't project about who has cuck fantasies
Anonymous No.42493660 >>42493674 >>42493688
>>42493651
This shit is why I'm going straight for Flurry Heart. Gonna raise her and be the first to fuck her. When she grows up to rule she'll have only me.
Anonymous No.42493674 >>42493682
>>42493659
Whataboutism
>>42493660
Based groomer
Anonymous No.42493682 >>42493686
>>42493674
11 months.
Anonymous No.42493686
>>42493682
I had the same thought as I was picking the image kek
Anonymous No.42493688 >>42493693 >>42493714
>>42493660
I'm sure you'll get past all the guards in the crystal empire looking like a greasy pedophile.
Anonymous No.42493693
>>42493688
Glad you have confidence in me.
Anonymous No.42493714 >>42493737 >>42493794
>>42493688
He can just marry her at an early age. Im sure he would make a fine husband for her.
Anonymous No.42493725 >>42493741
>>42490483
How is it unfaithful if your father's father's father wasn't even sperm in his daddy's ballsack when she last had a lover she cared about?
Anonymous No.42493737
>>42493714
Her and her snail are adorable.
Anonymous No.42493741
>>42493725
>a lover she cared about
As opposed to lovers she didn't care about? Why are you projecting being a slut onto Celestia?
Anonymous No.42493794
>>42493714
There are no child brides in Equestria, Mohamad
Anonymous No.42493830
>>42492130
>the anon who used to point out she's a slut is a literal self admitted faggot
That explains his warped views on intimacy. What was the lifetime average sexual partners for homosexuals again, 120-something was it not?
Anonymous No.42493858 >>42493887 >>42493913
>>42491717
>Are you really going to think, "I'm saving myself for someone who will be born almost a thousand years from now"?
She can't know when the right pony comes along, so it could be a couple of months or it could be years. But yeah, she'd wait for the right pony. And since that's going to be me, she'll happily wait a thousand years, because she knows when she does find the right one (me) she'll be happier than ever before, especially when she can live with the knowledge she didn't "settle" for less than perfection.
Anonymous No.42493887
>>42493858
>She can't know when the right pony comes along, so it could be a couple of months or it could be years. But yeah, she'd wait for the right pony. And since that's going to be me, she'll happily wait a thousand years, because she knows when she does find the right one (me) she'll be happier than ever before, especially when she can live with the knowledge she didn't "settle" for less than perfection.
Anonymous No.42493913 >>42493919
>>42493651
I see that you don't have reading comprehension skills, either. Maybe I shouldn't be surprised that you can't distinguish fact from fiction.
>>42493655
I want her to be happy. Why would I get upset about her marrying someone else if I'm centuries away from being born or if it's been centuries since I died? I want to have a monogamous relationship with her while I'm alive. I won't commit adultery, and I expect her not to, either. But if I'm not alive, I have no right to demand things from her. She's an adult, and she can make her own choices. I trust her to make wise choices about her relationships.
>>42493858
If her standards are that high, and if (You) really are the right pony, then I guess that could happen. But what about after (You) die of old age? Suppose you reach the ripe old age of 100 and pass on peacefully in your sleep. She grieves for decades. But a few centuries later, she meets a nice young stallion. What do you expect her to do? Would you really tell her that she's not allowed to fall in love ever again?
Anonymous No.42493919 >>42493921 >>42494069
>>42493913
She's omniscient. She knows you're coming. And as an immortal, a day for her is as a thousand. She will wait AND be happy, dude.
Anonymous No.42493921 >>42493925
>>42493919
Again:
>Suppose you reach the ripe old age of 100 and pass on peacefully in your sleep. She grieves for decades. But a few centuries later, she meets a nice young stallion. What do you expect her to do? Would you really tell her that she's not allowed to fall in love ever again?
Anonymous No.42493925 >>42494081
>>42493921
>We will not live forever together.

Man there actually IS a wrong way to fantasize. Yours. You are so limited.
Anonymous No.42494069 >>42495851
>>42493919
>She's [headcanon]
Anonymous No.42494081
>>42493925
If your fantasy includes immortality, then more power to you. If her ideal partner was also immortal, then I think she would love an eternal, faithful marriage.
Anonymous No.42494088 >>42494096
>>42493164
It's me, btw.
I will be transported to Equestria a bit before the sisters' reign.
Anonymous No.42494096
>>42494088
So it's your fault. You married Celestia. And when Luna wanted a piece of you, you said no and made her turn into Nightmare Moon.
Anonymous No.42494149
>>42493616
No, as in MLP canon when Faust was in charge. Most Original Star Wars fans don't care about post George Lucas Star Wars.
Anonymous No.42494381 >>42495049
>>42490021
>>42490449
I admit that i am upset no one commented on the image i made. I thought it was comedy gold..... :/
Anonymous No.42494659
>>42485118 (OP)
You know what is not highly disagreed upon?
Twilight and her marecock that she uses on all her husbandos.
Anonymous No.42495049
>>42494381
I liked it Anon, made me chuckle.
Anonymous No.42495623 >>42495848
How good would a BJ from Celestia be? Do you think it's something she's gotten a lot of practice doing over 1,000 years or is she not that good at it by virtue of the fact that she doesn't like dick in her mouth and doesn't do it often?
Anonymous No.42495848 >>42496020 >>42496023
>>42495623
Celestial has seen more cock than a chicken farmer and if you waifu her you are a cuck lmao, the bitch takes so much dick omg lol
Anonymous No.42495851 >>42496830
>>42494069
>he still refers to the show to determine "canon"
Anonymous No.42496020
>>42495848
>Pure projection
Anonymous No.42496023
>>42495848
Anonymous No.42496830 >>42496876
>>42495851
Canon is the frame which everything else logically follows, you can riff but there's still suspension of belief when you go too far. Omniscience is pulled straight out of your ass, there has never been anything that supports it.
Anonymous No.42496876
>>42496830
It's literally less asspull than the sisters retiring. Fuck your canon.