>>42503328 (OP)
"You Ponyvillians never learn, do you?"
>Be Trixie, descending from your wagon's doorstep in an aura of pure, effortless magic, hooves touching down gracefully in front of the human
"Don't fret handsome, it'll take Trixie but a moment to sort out these simpletons."
>The tall human looks at you with stars in his little eyes
>You turn your attention back to the crowd in front of you, looking riled and ready to pounce, but you remain steadfast, undeterred
>"I say, we kill 'em!"
>"I say we hang 'em, then we kill 'em!"
>"I say we stomp 'em, then we tattoo 'em, then we hang 'em, THEN we kill 'em!"
>"YEAH!"
"SILENCE!" You shout, projecting your voice loudly like the crack of the Royal Canterlot Voice, striking fear into the hearts of the dumb ponies
"You all speak of assaulting this creature, but how would you feel if YOU were the ones at threat of hanging!?"
>The townsponies all gasp and step back at your incredible wisdom
>"Wow, she's right!" They all murmur in agreement
"I am. And now I'm going to disintegrate you all for being evil."
>"That's completely fair."
>Your magic washes over Ponyville, turning all the residents to dust
>Celestia descends in her royal chariot, you raise an eyebrow as she approaches
>"Excellent work Trixie, there's truly no mare more powerful and harmonious in all the lands of Equestria. Here, have the Elements of Harmony."
>Celestia levitates a chest over to you. Toilet Sprinkles cries from a cage as you receive her and her friend's elements
"Hmm, Trixie wouldn't normally accept used goods, but she supposes you have nothing better to offer. Though perhaps..."
>"Yes, oh Great and Powerful Trixie? Anything you desire!"
"...Organize the human and I's wedding as well. She wants to have it on castle grounds."
>Celestia nods, bows, and makes way back to her carriage
>The human is shocked speechless from your sheer, incomparable magnificence
"Hold your tongue for now, human. Trixie will taste it later~"
