Thread 42648614

Undead Edition

Previous Edition: >>42596447

Fauster's Story Archive: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1XiJRe1NWl_kIoWsHssZ27BMV7bZAe1jgX59-dWggYkA/
Uh-hmmm's Prompt Archives:
https://ponepaste.org/1046
Have a broken Pastebin link? Replace pastebin.com with poneb.in

Remember:
not to save anything of value on Pastebin
ignore all attempts at early new threads

Thread question: Have you sworn alliance to the skelepone army yet?

Your mares must be starving if none of you can make some simple bread Anons. For shame

>>42648614 (OP)
No. I have sworn alliance to the ghostpone army instead

>>42648614 (OP)
bad time to start a thread when 90% of the board is watching Anni desu

>>42648614 (OP)
>Nurgling pony

>>42648969
Best time, actually

>>42649025
>Maretarion

>>42648634
I made some bread just today for dinner, to eat with my butternut squash soup.

Which one of the mane 6 would be the most mysandrist in RGREquestria? I don't think it would be Applejack since she has a pretty nice brother and no doubt she would be fending off all sorts of mares for his safety. In that vein Fluttershy may actually have a good chance at being a mysandrist thanks to Zephyr Breeze but what are your thoughts anons?

>>42648634
Fuck you. I purposefully make my bread hard as a rock so my mares can use it as ammunition for their slings. It is NOT because I haven't gone to any of Caramel's weekly househusbandry classes.

>>42648614 (OP)
Continuation of https://ponepaste.org/10819

>It's only when you have your hoof on the doorknob that you realize the severity of your situation
>It's locked
>You don't remember him locking it
>Or ever unlocking it, for that matter
>Does Sunburst always lock the door when he's home?
>Why?
>As the question rattles around your skull, you work your way along the other side of the house
>The rest of the house's windows are too high
>Except...this one
>Dark green ceiling
>Your bedroom, must be
>You walk your hooves up the wall again
>Just like before, the window gives way and you tumble through, landing on your hooves this time
>The window clicks shut behind you
>Nice
>Maybe that'll come in handy again
>As you near your bedroom door, you hear Sunburst's muffled voice
>"Anonymous? Are you alright?"
>Shit
>You gently nudge open your door with your snout and peek out into the hall
>Sunburst is beside the restroom door, his back to you
>"You didn't fall in again, did you?"
>Again?
>You open the door fully, and Sunburst's ears perk up at the squeaking of the hinge
>He turns his head and lets out an "Oh!" at seeing you
>"Goodness, there you are."
>Sunburst furrows his brow as he takes a better look at you
>"Are you alright? Why is your mane such a mess?"
>Sunburst's horn lights up, and you watch a few twigs and leaves levitate out of your hair
>Right, hair
>You open your mouth and let the tuft you'd found drool onto the floor
"Look! I found thi-eugh...Eckh!"
>There's a hair on your tongue!
>You swipe at your tongue to try to take it off
>That's not working
>Goddammit, how do horses deal with this shit?
>Magic?
>Probably
>You look up at Sunburst again, your tongue still hanging out of your mouth
>Sunburst's face is wrinkled up in concern, his snout scrunched
>"Anonymous, were you outside just now?"
>You nod
>You gesture at your tongue with a hoof
>He stares at you oddly for a brief moment before his horn lights up again
>"Anonymous,"
>Sunburst starts gently as you feel a tingle on your tongue
>"I think we need to put a ground rule in place."
"Rules? But, Sunburst, look-"
>"Ah! Well, not a, eh, 'rule' per se. Let's say it's...a Pinkie Promise!"
>Sunburst smiles down at you
>You raise your front hooves and ponder them for a moment

>>42649987

"We don't have pinkies..."
>"Oh, Pinkie doesn't need to actually be here to do a, um..."
>Sunburst's mind catches up with his mouth
>"...Do you know Pinkie?"
>Odd phrasing
"Yeah?"
>You eye him suspiciously
"Do you?"
>"I...I'm not so sure anymore."
>Sunburst eyes you with that worried look he seems to get every time you two have these little back and forths
>"We'll just call it a promise, mkay?"
>His voice is a little softer now
>You shrug
>Sunburst gives a nod, "Good."
>"I need you to promise me that you won't go anywhere where I can't see you. Promise?"
"Even the bathroom?"
>Sunburst scrunches
>"Within reason."
"Mkay."
>"And I promise not to go anywhere where you can't see me."
"Within reason?"
>"Within reason." He smiles
"Okay. Cool, whatever. Now could you please-"
>The hair's gone black
>And your spit's gone purple
>"I hope that's not from my cooking."

more soon

>>42649991
HE LIVES!
Speaking of which, AladdinAnon also lives. Seemingly still rangedbanned from 4chan.
https://nhnb.org/fim/res/24053.html#30508

>>42649991
Awesome to see you're back, Sunburstanon! Great as usual and i'm looking forward to more.

>>42649991
>The hair's gone black
>And your spit's gone purple
The stalker is an imposter!

I can't think of anypony who has black hair.

>>42649987
>>42649991
Holy dicks, you're alive. Also Sunburst is the Mr. Magoo of child care.

>>42650027
That's annoying as hell. The stupid part is it's not like ranges are monolithic, their coverage shifts around over time and I guarantee you whoever they were targeting is long gone into a different range.

>>42651439
The stupid thing is that tranny mods don't give a single fuck.

welcome back rgre

>>42651506
of course they don't give a fuck, hiro was known for screwing over 2chan for money and it's no different he does it here as well

>>42649991
The single father returns!

bump

>>42648634
What led you to believe that I care?

>>42652428
>most empathetic stallion

>>42651523
>2chan
illiterate faggot award

>>42652442
says the public urinal that stallions and mares piss onto, same fucking thing you 'tard.

>>42652447
>same fucking thing
>2chan is still a thing
>2ch is dead

Where have you faggots gone to?
I know you don't have a special somepony at home.

>>42648614 (OP)
Damn, have we already run out of images of dommy mommy mares?

>>42649530
Depends on the type of misandry, Rainbow Dash would probably lean more towards objectification of stallions, while someone like Twilight would probably secretly be the biggest misandrist due to her intelligence, but not really apply it in practice much

>>42652699
Have you seen Shining Armor? Twilight wouldn't be all that impressed with stallions.
Dash only cares about one thing, Wonderbolts. Doesn't matter who they are, if they're Wonderbolt they get her admiration.

how does anon-alicorn fare in rgre?

>>42652901
Fuck off.

>>42652943
>POV: You are Anon after Celestia told Luna that stallions like eye contact

>>42652922
You can go back to the board you came from, offboarder.

>>42652901
hated by all the mares for being patriarchal and emaresculating all the fillies

>>42652966
I would date Luna for the sake of convincing her to take a bath. Wish me luck in surviving her marestink

>>42652699
>Rampantly misandrist Twi x rampantly misogynist Anon.
>Each treats another as 'one of the good ones'
>That moment when they both realize their hate is predicated on a certain precisely matching set of behaviors...
>2 months later, an earth-shattering scientific paper is released, "The Inevitable Dead-Weight Gender, a dimension-invariant conjuncture on fairer sex"
>After that, during their public outings Anon has to punt away angry stallions trying to start shit with his soon-to-be horsewife.

>>42652943
Would gently boop (consensually)

>>42652699
Surprisingly there seems to be little in the way of Donny Mommy Zombie Mares. Just another failure of our society

>>42652988
You'll be drowned in that moon cheese smell.

>>42652901
Well we know Big Mac wanted to be one.

>>42652943
Imagine if there was a Princess of Snoofa.

>>42652901
He fucks off to some back water hick village to avoid royal duties that would be forced upon him by the two space horse femcels

>>42652901
Anon we be used as a diplomatic bargaining chip. As that is the only thing an alicorn stallion is useful for. Look even his cutie mark doesn’t know what his purpose is.

>>42653002
i need this green RIGHT FUCKING NOOWWWWW

>>42655862
Indeed.
>The Prince of ??????
Statements dreamt up by the utterly deranged.

>>42652901
Only mares can be alicorns. Maybe Anonicorn is a falsehood. Fake wings, or a fake horn, or both. To keep the status of his mother, the princess, intact. Surely, a mare capable of birthing a male alicorn is a princess of princesses.

>>42656008
Anonicorn is a bio-magical construct implanted with a soul plucked from the line before the gates of judgement and sustained entirely off the background magic in Equestria. Who created him and why isn't quite clear. What is clear is that such an unnatural being was never given the chance to develop his own magical field while he grew in the womb.
Anonicorn is less magically potent than even a newborn earth pony foal. He cannot fly, nor cast, nor even hold objects with the flat of his hoof. Not until Harmony can cultivate an adequate field inside a body already grown.

>>42656148
Anonicorn should be married off in a political marriage. So that he can’t have any say in government. Having a stallion in power won’t help anypony. After all the only place stallions belong is in the kitchen and in bed.

>>42656181
What about Shining Armor?

>>42656181
Some of the mares' ideas are questionable, at best.

Is it compalsory for a rgre story to have imbalanced gender ratio or the setting is enough? I am working on a story.

>>42655746
I miss hawaiian anon

>>42657218
the ratio serves as a reason for the gender roles being inverted and the existence of herds imo
but if your story doesn't need it and is still rgre to be in the thread i personally am okay with it

>>42657218
Like >>42657297 said, it's not a strict requirement, but it's the usual excuse for males being the valuable/protected/pampered sex, instead of the disposable one.

>>42655887
Okay.

>Be Anon
>Your hate for women is so far beyond this material plane that it can be seen from the orbit.
>Of a neighboring star system.
>Your mere presence generates a Karen-exclusion zone five miles in radius.
>Kazakhstan sends you pre-approved honorary citizenship papers biweekly.
>Be stuck innaquestria.
>Currently explaining the ACTUAL percentages of misidentified cases of SIDS to Twiggy over a tea spiked with Appul's moonshine.
>She looks horrified.
>"That's disgusting! I genuinely have no idea how any mare can do something like that."
>You raise your cup,
"That's why you gals are good in my book."
>You throw the cup back.
"I'm not even talking about the basic stuff like..."

>Be Twilight fatherbuckin' Sparkle.
>From the moment you understood the insidiousness of the fairer sex, it disgusted you.
>Once you have grasped the field of statistics, this disgust became white-hot.
>The trust lent to colts by default was majorly misplaced, and, what's worse, nopony wanted to talk about it.
>Well there were some colt exceptions, like Anon, who was plenty responsible, but than again, he was an alien.
>"...and thus, the political apprehension of slut shaming continues to promote promiscuity, which has created a generation of whores who are looking to settle now that they've gone barren and lost their looks..."
>Your brain lights up like a fireworks show.
"Anon, what would happen if they... wouldn't lose their looks and fertility?"
>That question has Anon rubbing his chin.
>"I guess some would never settle, but then the dating market would get more crowded, hmmm..."
>He kicked back and started gazing upon the ceiling in thought.
>"Well, birthing still gets worse with age..."
"But what if that wasn't an issue?"
>"My guess is that most would fool around for much longer until finally settling for the best option they have. And still would cheat on the regular. What, is this a regular occurrence here?"
>Your jaw hits the floor.
>He may just be the one for you.
"Say, Anon, would you like to participate in some... science?"

>>42657736

>Two months later.
>To say that the paper had caused an uproar would be an understatement of the millennium.
>"The Inevitable Dead-Weight Gender, a dimension-invariant conjuncture on fairer sex" by T.Sparkle, A.E.Mous, et al has hit like a meteor.
>Every single colt in education had seemingly lost sanity overnight.
>On the other hoof, you've received entire heaps of letters from mares in education lauding you for challenging the status quo and lending you their full support, and so nothing thrown at you by colts could stick.
>Meanwhile, the scandalous paper has reached The Royal Sisters, and now there are talks of Equestria reverting stallions' collective status back to property. Outside of those who could prove their worthiness of rights via a special exam, of course.
>More than once, you and your husband-to-be would get attacked by crazed stallionists, but much to your surprise, he happily jumped into the fray, throwing around stallions like ragdolls.
>Catfight of this caliber has never failed to gather some hooting and hollering from the onlooker mares, which only got louder once they'd realize a stallionist was involved.
>More than once he'd pick up offending colts by the scruff and simply shake them, loudly asking them where their herd is or who pays for their food or how many mares they'd go through this month.
>Receiving an unsatisfactory answer would usually mean that said screeching colt would get launched across the street by Anon's astoundingly long legs.
>Unf.

>>42657741
low quality slop.

>>42657741
high quality slop

>>42657741
based quality kek

>>42657736
>>Currently explaining the ACTUAL percentages of misidentified cases of SIDS to Twiggy over a tea spiked with Appul's moonshine.
what a fucking refference, been ages since i remembered this

>>42657736
>>42657741
Thank you anon i thoroughly enjoyed this
you should really write more often!

>>42649298
>butternut?

>>42657741
Champion of the maresses.

>>42649298
I'd eat Butternut's squash soup.

>>42658195
Butternut? I'd rut.

>>42656322
Shining armor is clearly a dei hire because of horny pink princess. He wasn’t qualified to be a captain of the guard. I bet if it was a mare in charge the changling invasion would not have happened.

Would Minty from G3 be considered a pervert in RGREquestria or would her sock collecting hobby pass off as an autistic hyperfixation?

>>42659094
unmarely and shameful

>>42659094
Derpy's personality seems to be partly based off Minty, so probably autism.

>>42659612
>Minty is completely oblivious to the fact that socks are the pony equivalent of lingerie
>She likes to collect and wear them all the time
>Always shows them off to her friends
>None of them have the heart to tell her (Or are secretly into it)
>Minty doesn't understand why everypony gives her weird looks

>>42659094
She's probably be seen as a crossdresser, which isn't necessarily a bad thing

>>42659094
>G4 hippies hold up G3 Minty as an icon of free love

bump

>>42659945
Anon also wears socks, he must be more autistic than her.

what about if twilight became increasingly aware of stallion inferiority and wrestled with denial about it and faith in an egalitarianism that could never be?

>>42662573
That alicorn ego needs to be kept in check.

>>42661516
>Anon also wears socks
And hides them under long pants. He's a total pervert.

>>42659094
>"Whee!"
>"Miss, PLEASE, for the love of Celestia, you're in public!"
Not bad, that one matches the umbrella you bought a couple weeks ago. Isn't it hard to talk with it over your nose though?
>You are Anon, and today is clothes shopping day.
>It's not something you attach much fanfare to, even in a horse universe where getting things off the rack isn't usually an option.
>Socks are on today's menu. You wouldn't have thought hooves getting cold would be enough of an issue for ponies to have invented them, but it does make things a bit more convenient for you.
>Your task is simple enough, just some pairs of blacks and whites.
>"Hehehe! Look Anon, I'm a pegsus!"
>A passing mare goes wide-eyed, shields the eyes of her foal, and rapidly leaves the area.
How did you even get those on there?
>You also happen to be here this morning with your friend Minty.
>Most ponies didn't seem to care much about clothing outside of formal pieces, but for whatever reason she liked to collect socks.
>Currently she'd managed to get one on each ear, which she was flapping as hard as she could to look sort of like wings in flight.
>"By the stars, I'm going to lose my job!"
>A very frazzled teenage colt was staffing the sockolatier you frequented. You could almost swear bits of his mane were falling out.

>Today's was a mundane task, but you'd welcomed the company when you set out.
>Minty, for her part, had begun vibrating when she saw the new line of fruit-themed footwear was in.
>Snatching one sock each from several pairs, she quickly had a different one on each leg. The help was less than enthusiastic, and rapidly went from embarrassed to panicked as things progressed.
Remember, the customer is always right!
>Flash him a bit of the Winning Smile, that'll put his head in the right place.
>Or at least it will when he stops weeping.
>Having made your selections, you paid and waved goodbye to the young stallion, Minty in tow with her own bag of socks perched on her back. She's still wearing the singles on each hoof.
>"Thanks for always letting me come like this Anon, they don't even call the ponice if you're with me."
No problem Minty. What's the haul today?
>"Well! I've got lime, cherry, watermelon, and a blueberry pattern set. I almost got the grape ones too, but I like purple grapes more than green ones, and I already had the lime socks for that color."
>She skipped the ones with the peppermint theme; you suppose there's no accounting for secondary meanings of cutie marks.
>"BUT! That's not the best part! Check out these bad boys!"
>Snout-deep in the sack, she pulls back and reveals a pair with a hotdog image stitched into them, running the length of the sock.
>"Thees r rre! Mst pnes dont do mt dsigns!"
>She beams at you while mumbling this through the clothing, and with a giggle begins tossing them all around with her head.
>Several ponies nearby choke out whinnies of shock and faint on the spot.
>Yes, this was a pleasantly fun morning.

>>42663596
Fuck off.

>>42663596
Fuck on.

>>42663596
Cute! Already setting a good tone for today's work day, which I appreciate very much Anon.

>>42662573
>Twilight gets inducted into the Alicorn Conspiracy, as Celestia, Luna, and Cadance look at her knowingly.

>>42663596
Anon casually trolling with a friend.

>>42663596
Lovely green. Glad you wrote it anon!

I just want a good looking garden, but you ponies keep eating all my flowers!

>>42665585
You didn't read the third volume of A Househusband's Guide, did you? There are explicit instructions on how to differentiate flowers used for decoration from flowers freely available to snack on.

>>42665616
Shut up, Caramel, I know how to plant a goddamn flower garden.

>>42665758
I think you should stop focusing on you garden and get back into the kitchen before your herd gets home. Also stop walking around with those socks you whorse.

>>42663596
Minty is cute
I'd eat her out

>>42665809
At least I have a herd, faggot

I didn't want a herd. I just wanted a garden. Now I lost my garden and these mares are asking when's the next meal.

>not in rgre
>no mares taking care of me
>have to get a job and work
wish me luck frens, interview day tomorrow

>>42666023
You fucked up anon, your best course of action right now is starting a herd with gardener mares that would at least help you replant your lost flowers

>>42666023
Being a simple hobbit would be a nightmare in RGRE.

>>42666644
Your mare is looking for you.

>>42666023
>ponies standing in your garden, looking at you innocently or simply kicking at the ground a bit and whistling
>you turn your back for two seconds, hear instant shuffling
>whipping back around, the ponies seemingly haven't moved
>however your rose bush has been denuded, and the sprigs of green heralding your parsley have vanished

>>42668169
They get the broom.

Lesbians are a source of cheap, low-hanging fruit humor for ponies just like fags for humans.

>>42668881
I'd imagine mares would call each others dykes all the time, same as guys trash talking each other, but calling a stallion a faggot would be a very serious insult/accusation.

>>42663596
ignorant Minty and ignorant Anon make a cute pair

>>42669343
She's from another time.

And he's from another planet.

>>42669105
What if a colt calls a mare a faggot?

>>42669410
She’ll suck his dick to prove him wrong.

>>42666023
Wasn't there a greentext about it?

I just remember the part where a mare and an anon talk about it when he is setting up an electric fence, because he is so fucking done with these horses bs.

It was something like:
>You are being unreasonable anon, you can't just grow all this delicious flowers just to stare at them.
My flowers, I decide what I do with them, you are welcome to come and appreciate them too.
>You know there are foals in Saddle Arabia that don't have any roses to eat right?
Let them come, I'll let them watch too.

>>42670615
The part about foals having no roses is because there is no species of rose native to the lands of Saddle Arabia. They have plenty of other plants to eat.

>>42669343
Minty seems like she would accidentally rape Anon but neither of them would realize what's happening

>>42670615
That does sound familiar.

>>42670615
I remember one with an electric fence where ponies kept chewing on his fence, and so he electrified it. Dash got hit with it, and found it so funny she invited a bunch more mares to chew on his fence and get them shocked.

>>42671170
>Limey+Spitfire
Any other mares to add for stressmaxxing?

>>42671216
Fluer. Just so we can have a bone head.

>>42671170
Poor little human.

>>42671216
Harshwhinny and... Luna, I guess.
>all four of them become extremely lovey-dovey around their mate

bump

>>42672431
Would they get jealous

>>42671189
>it turns into a strongmare challenge to see who can shock themselves the most

>>42673683
>tfw you constantly have to stop mares from doing dumb and potentially dangerous things to one up each other
>Cartoon physics be damned, you can't let these adorable lil shids get hurt

I can't find a story I read some time ago. Can anybody help? It was about some police mare performing a raid and finding abducted Anon (who was not yet green). Later, through some magical bullshittery the unicorns did to remove poison or w/e, he turned green. Can't remember much else.

>>42674181
https://ponepaste.org/10491
I was enjoying it as well.

>>42674217
Danke anon. Was hoping it was updated by now, too bad

>>42674232
Sorry anon, I've been too busy to write lately.

>>42674815
it okay
we miss you though!

you and caramel may not see eye to eye on a lot of things, but if there's one thing that you both agree on it's this: anal sex is disgusting

>>42675899
I can only tell him "I'm not interested" politely, so many times.

>>42675922
Why would a mare be into that?

>>42674815
I can still hear his voice in the wind. That propeller is a brutal killer of authors.

>>42675899
sure, but I'd also eat a mare's ponut hard enough to make her think I'm going to suck her inside out

>>42677584
I hear they're evolving, and now there are drone propellers flying around instead of just being restricted to the water.

>>42678829
>Anon's experiments in flirting don't go as well as expected

>>42680205
Training is required.

How would you get your marewives to wear socks/stockings?

>>42681724
"Hey, can you put these on?"
>"Erm, why?"
"Because I think it's really hot and it will make me want to have sex with you more."
>"Oh, okay!"

Mares are bretty easy, m8

>>42681865
I wonder if the mares in the herd would bye Anon a saddle.

>>42682537
>Not wearing a saddle around the house for your herd

>>42681724
Lean into it, make sure they are lewd socks.

>>42681724
Easy, I marry bi mares because the dykes are more comfortable with wearing socks.

>>42681724
Appeal to their carnal desires by telling them they look sexy in them, then appeal to their practical instincts by telling them it'll prevent them from scuffing the hardwood floors.

>>42684307
Moments before she murders you.

>>42684307
Moments before she drags you off to get horsemarried.

>>42684961
That edge horse murdered someone for doing that to her. She’s going to kill you!

>>42685571
Nah I'd pet her

>>42685837
The last guy who did that got blew the fuck up.

I love RGRE. Once I learnt of it, it slowly became my headcanon. At this point, that's what I imagine Equestria would be like.

>>42687175
Helps that mares were made more common that stallions in the show.

From an RGRE standpoint how marely is this? Does her fit go hard and is she tuff?

>>42688510
I think Heavy is about to smack a mare for touching his gun.

>>42687967
a lot of male ponies are shown doing kind of servile stuff like pulling vehicles at the start too, gives a certain impression

>>42688672
But she isn't touching his gun.

>>42689619
Heavy don't like magic either.

>>42689078
They ain't good for much else still.

bump

>>42691956
>sub 8 mares
fillies?

>>42691956
What's your problem, faggot? Jelly Sassaflash the "sub 8 mare" won't be yours ever again?

>>42691991
They call her Sassaflash because she squash soups in a flash

>>42692006
Females don't have refractory periods, it just means if she constantly cums her mindlessly twitching marepussy would bring the additional stimulation in.

>>42692016
New marecel cope just dropped

>>42691956
But they're really nice, Caramel!

I can't believe you Anons would boop a pony without their consent.

>>42692016
But if she's constantly twitching from nonstop cumming then you're going to be doing all the work. If you want to mount something that just stands there and takes it, you can easily find a quality, well built substitute at certain retailers.

>>42692729
They had it coming. Making fun of my socks.

>>42692794
>But my silicone mare cannot pay my bills.

>>42693216
Have a mare that can.

>>42688510
Cool image. Saved.
>>42687967
Yeah, it does.

Sometimes I imagine how ponies from RGRE would react to media from our world that, I lack a good word for it right now, but already a bit gender reversed, I guess.
Like Madoka magica, Junko Kaname, Madoka's mother, is the pants-wearing one of her parents, while her dad seems to stay at home gardening and stuff.
Kyosuke, the guy Sayaka is in love with, is fought over by her and Hitomi. I could imagine mares sympathizing with Sayaka or cringe at her white knighting or something idk. ^^
Homura would be seen as a real sister.

Or Dan vs. Elise is a super agent, and her mother is some criminal underworld lady. While Chris just does stuff at home most of the time. Dan could be the chaotic 'loli' character, and Chris is the chubby but almost 10/10 husbando material.
Mares would be divided on which one they like the most.^^

>>42694095
>Dan could be the chaotic 'loli' character
Worst string of words I've read on this board in the past month

>>42692048
>biological facts are now "marecel cope"
Cope and stay cucked, Caramel.

>>42694214
So awful that it becomes beautiful

>>42685571
>>42686299
The naked mole rat dude was a complete stranger and a creep invading her personal space, not caring about her feelings, and got his shit rocked for it, yes, but in >>42684307 picrel, it specifically says:
>someone you trust...
implying:
>A: This is likely post-movie edgehorse, and
>B: She knows and trusts Anon

Context matters

>>42681724
>>42684304
>marry bi mares
>don't have to tell your dyke wives anything because they already wear socks to seduce each other
Already won without doing anything.

>>42695278
>herd a bunch of bisluts
>they deal with each other when you don't want to cum
#winning

>>42688510
>Marehandling Sasha with magic
DYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYKE!

>>42694532
Local mare singlehandedly keeps the pineapple trader in business

Heya handsome househusbands, SNAFU here.
Life still sucks, and posting on 4chins is still unreliable as fuck, but I whipped up something for you RGRE enjoyers. Stay frosty!
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/566635/abducted

>>42695605
I want to sink my face into their marepussies while their clits are touching.

>>42696543
Thanks man!

>>42695216
She's wearing that armor. The only time she wears that and not be the antagonist is right at the end of the movie. Therefore, for Tempest to know Anon enough to trust him can only happen during the villain phase. Thus, Anon must be league with the villains, or at least one of the minions. As per the rules of MLP, an equine is given a free ride for redemption. The weird ape guy does not, like the rest of the minions. What we're witnessing here is moments before Anon gets his shit rocked and sent to Tartarus.

>>42697869
Incorrect.
She wears that armor but there's no Storm King symbol on it anymore, meaning it likely happens after the movie.
She's probably wearing the armor for training/employment purposes, which means that she could easily have met and befriended Anon after the events of the movie.
Ergo, Anon is getting horsemarried and his pelvis will likely get bruised, too. Regularly.

>>42698072
Maybe she wears it for the weight because she's obsessed with being /fit/

>>42698417
Maybe she's autistic and wears it the same way that one kid in highschool wore full airsoft camo every single day

>>42698434
God, you just reminded me of the "future soldier" in my high school that wore ACUs to school every single day. Pretty sure he's in jail for sexting minors now.

>>42698072
Artists sometimes forget to draw cutie marks.

>>42674008
"Remember, don't do anything foolish while I'm gone"
>"Bye Anon"
>-Bye Anon!-
>"..."
>-...-

>"Wanna do something foolish?"
>-Do you even need to ask?-

>>42699947
>One horsepital visit later.
"What did I say!?"
>"We were being foalish, not foolish."

>>42699947
i feel like living with a herd would wind up with looney toons-tier chicanery on a bi-weekly basis

>>42692202
>derpy
>sub 8
anon, she's 12/10

>>42700582
Monster attacks aren't the only reason every town pools bits into a communal repair budget.

>>42696543
pretty gut
would be better as a green doe

Anon my son you must pick your new life in equestria
>Evil & insane sorcerer innawoods
>Handsome prince horse
>horrid homunculus spawn of evil

>>42703155
The idea of three potentially powerful Anons in one world is terrifying. Either way option three is the most interesting

>>42703155
>>Evil & insane sorcerer innawoods
>mfw circled back around to doofanon
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/34104554/#q34117172
https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/34104554/#34117653

>>42703362
Made to evil, born to be a goofball

>>42703408
That’s how they don’t see your evil coming.

>>42703357
Vegan brauts? He belongs with the ponies.

boo

>>42703357
>No pony takes professor Doof!Anon seriously
>"And right when your precious Summer Sun Celebration is taking place, my shade-inator-inator wil-..are you looking at my socks, Twily The Ponypus?"

I like to imagine Fluttershy taking up painting and becoming the Bob Ross of RGRE.

>>42705268
If anyone would become pony Bob Ross, it would be Spitfire.
>We'll just turn this mistake into a happy little cloud.

>>42705601
>it would be Spitfire.
I was about to argue this but then I remembered Bob Ross used to be a drill sergeant in the air force, so bravo

>>42696543
Thanks! It's great.

>>42703362
>BabyDoll Anon
>Desperately trying to defeat and terrorise Equestria
>Always foiled, Always mocked afterward
>"D'aww... the widdle colt made cute 'bombs'! are they full of glitter and candy sweetie?"

>>42700582
>>42702640
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhLgvDX_J1I
>"Hey everypony, my name is Rainbow Dash"
>-N' Mah name's Apple Jack-
>"And this is..."
>-Jackdassh!-
>"Jackdassh!"


Also:
>>42699947
>You leave your heard to get something from the store
>They forgot it's today is (you)r/their anniversary together
>You also did but that's not the point.
>They think you are just like the other colts and that you are secretly mad at them.
>They panic but decide to try and make you dinner and bake you something to make it up to you.
>How hard can it be?
>
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/1APH-Ze6X0w

>>42705601
>>42706107
I didn't know that. Nice. ^^

>>42694214
>>42694851
^^

>>42707314
>Caramel seething that Anon would only pet mares

>>42707758
must... resist... stroking pun...

how the fuck does fluttershy put up with this little shit? he's fucking viscious, an overly picky eater, an unapologetic cock blocker, and cheats at poker night too

>>42708135
Because he's a guy

>>42708135
Fluttershy spoils him. She's part of the problem.

>>42707314
That’s a witch doctor! Keep your voice down or she’ll hex you.

>>42709220
which doctor?

>Be femanon.
>Your predatory gaze spooks ponies.
>Keeps the mares at bay and the colts blushing.
>You're at one of Pinkie's parties, at the punch bowl to be specific.
>You cast your gaze like a fishing net over the crowd of partygoers.
>You find and lock in on your target.
>You waltz over to an earth pony colt.
"Sup, Caramel?" you greet the brown-maned colt.

>>42709503
some prey deserves to be eaten

>>42709331
For Anon? A veterinarian.

>>42709331
No, where doctor.

>>42710607
>your appointment is at midnight on the night of the full moon

>>42710763
Well you told me when doctor, still not where doctor.

>marefriend convinces you to let her start a herd
>apparently she meant a super big one because mares just start swinging by to take you out on dates, fuck you, and leave
>barge in on your marefriend to demand she explain just where she finds all these ponies
>one of your "herd mates" is handing her a wad of cash

So whats our stand with the lings? I mean i can handle sexist mares but i cant bloody stand bugs (ok tbf i kinda dont hate all bugs, some are ok)

>>42711436
>Twilight, after hearing your story and consoling you, tells you to stay with Spike in the Castle for safety and rushes off somewhere.
>After you're done flipping out over the betrayal and heartbreak, you notice some movement in castle's windows. You peek out.
>Hundreds of lights in a mob, all moving somewhere.
>Rattling noise reveals Spike pulling a chair close to look out the window. He also brought two pairs of binoculars, one of which he gives you.
"Thanks, buddy."
>"You're welcome."
>It's a giant mob of mares, with torches but thankfully no pitchforks.
>Wait. Are those crossbows?
>And they're slowly moving to...
>Your marefriend's house...
"A-are they gonna kill her?"
>"Naaah, but they sure gonna teach her a lesson or two. Ponyville is a very traditional town."
>You sure hope so. You don't want to have blood on your hands.
>Suddenly a pink comet traces a trail across the sky, landing squarely in front of the house you so recently called home.
>The impact rattles the castle windows.
>You spin the adjustment wheel to focus onto the impact site with your binoculars.
>It's Lovebutt, screaming something about holy matrimony.
>You've never seen her this mad!
>She lifts out of the crater and wields a gold-plated, pink-gem-encrusted...
>No... That's not a crossbow... That's a whole-ass ballista!
>Uh oh.

>>42711818
I bet 80% of the mares were changelings.

>>42711818
>That's not a crossbow... That's a whole-ass ballista!
that's fucking metal
thank you for that mental image, anon
also hearty lol after making the connection of cupid>bow&arrows into lovebutt>ballista
i wonder what the weapons of choice for the other alicorns are

>>42712349
That mare is about to die.

>>42709503
Fucking hell.
Femanon would be the wet dream of Rgre Twilight faggots.

>Tfw someone makes a fanfic of My Little Human where a stallion with no personality becomes the romantic interest of a Human Girl that desires to eat him in more ways than one (and also glows when exposed to sunlight for some fucking reason.)
>Femanon ends up there (also for some fucking reason)
>Autistic screeching stallions ensue.
>Seething mares all over the place.
>Humanity wins again.

Of course, this might mean that if anon finds it's way into this sexist horseland, the mares might try to overcompensate and seduce him/dom him twice as much to show that they are still marely mares.

>>42712349
Well Moonbutt likes Battleaxes, so that means Twilight and Celestia must have the Sword and Staff to have the archetypical rpg party of: Archer, Barbarian, Paladin and Mage.

On the topic of weapons, I remember big long ago a short one off about the some of the one piece warlords ending up in Equestria and Luna takes Mihawk's sword saying colts shouldn't have such things.
She also calls Doflamingo's clothing and gait 'like he's on an eternal walk of shame', and it ends with Kuma asking Luna where she'd like to visit for vacation.

>>42712349
>>42712668

>>42712349
not a princess but still

>>42710229
^^
>>42712661
At first, I thought you meant our gal Twi, but you meant the books about those vampires. I like your take. Really fun. ^^

>>42712349
>>42711818
>Cadence has a balista
what are the princesses main weapons?

>>42711818
Cadance no!

>>42711774
Colony insects IRL are already RGR at maximum volume. The show depicts males as common in the soldiery and calls them all drones, but IRL drones are a very small number of males kept shut away in the hive/anthill and their sole purpose is reproductive. Warriors and workers (when the distinction even exists) are exclusively female.
In some subspecies of ant there may also be certain non-queen females, named gamergates (ah, not ey), who become reproductive, either in addition to the queen or in lieu. Queens and gamergates in these species are at the top of a dominance hierarchy, and use pheromones and mutilation to suppress the development of ovaries in lesser females. When they die, the lifting of the suppression triggers a big fight and the winners resume the mantle, produce pheromones that suppress the losers, develop ovaries, etc.

In my headcanon, ling hives have a very disproportionately small group of heavily guarded males in an inner sanctum near where the queen resides. They're also mixed colonies, but a main point of departure is that it's less about fighting and more a factor of service to the hive, as recognized by whatever emergent hive-mind/collective intelligence. A worker or warrior in their respective domains managing a great feat of heroism or success in battle that benefits the hive is collectively recognized as a champion and brought to the sanctum to claim a mate and bear a clutch. The bar is extremely high, statistically it's like winning the lottery twice in a row. If you're a drone you've been fed on a healthy diet of tunnel-mining clade alphas and spec-ops elites with names like Death Shadow for your ENTIRE LIFE coming straight out the slime pools in the hatchery. You've never even seen anything as fucking despicable and loathsome as the average female changeling. The only expectation put on you is that when you get selected by a champion you make sure she walks away with a glowing review to brag to her under-lings about, because fucking you is like 80% of the motivation behind the entire colony.

Ah, if only the skeleton of this story I have could become an actual story. If only, if only..

>>42713619
Thats some bloody nice headcannon m8, but still i have a question thats kinda too /k/ommando for that, can me and a couple of other /k/ fags blitz the hive and somehow get out alive or with our dicks and butts still own by us and not some cock hungry worker or warrior?

>>42710763
>penis inspection day with Nightmare Moon

>>42713704
Why would you want to attack an innocent hive? They aren't hurting anyone and are actually very good for an ecosystem. You probably wouldn't stand a chance anyway. Hives are scary, underground tunnels with no maneuverability. You'd be better off just leaving us alone. You should turn back while you still have the chance.

>>42712876
>runescape damage numbers
very cute

>>42713619
My headcanon is that Chrysalis's crown is one of those cursed amplifier artifacts, like the Alicorn Amulet.
Where most hives might have one drone out of a couple dozen hatchings, Chrysalis can use the crown to force a skewed sex ratio in the other direction. Since having a lot of drones means a huge population (normally), and so a thriving hive, having hundreds of drones feeds the crazy queen's ego.

>>42713887
>us
your kind ain't welcome round these parts, bugger, best go back the way you came

>>42714180
Well that's definitely a more cannon approach, I respect it but I don't like sharing so it couldn't be for me.

>>42713887
Whoa calm down little bug pone, i dont want to kill you all (unless you give me a reason to), i just want to prank your queen so much that i pisa her off just enough to personally chase me and give the "bratty tactical human colt" (she might kill me or rape me, whatever its a win-win) what he deserves for driving her crazy with his bullshit

>>42713704
I'd visit the hive, I like looking at cool bugs

>>42714180
>My headcanon is that Chrysalis's crown is one of those cursed amplifier artifacts, like the Alicorn Amulet.
dear god

rgre bump to kill anni thread

>>42713619
Changelings get a bad rap because stallions that get captured by hives can end up getting swarmed to death by the masses of overeager drones who've never actually seen a male of any species if they're not immediately taken to the queen's chambers to be secured.
One changeling drone is easy enough to keep fed, even a dozen if you have a particularly big heart, but a swarm of hundreds will kill you in minutes.

>All stallions have a snowpity-sensing organ in their nose
>Stallions like Caramel are a little noseblind to snowpity and this affects mate selection to mares with very high levels of snowpity
>Terran stallions are a little more sensitive to snowpity (about 5-10x more) which is why someone will argue that Moondancer or Floor Bored is an ideal wife
>Others are extremely sensitive to the point of defectiveness, picking up tiny traces of snowpity from changeling hives and dragon dens and wandering to their deaths in search of a mate
>These extremely sensitive individuals cannot exist in normal Equestrian society, they can and do go insane from constant snowpity overload

>>42714867
kek

>>42714867
Chrysalis's crown, Ruthorford's hat, Thunderhooves's headdress, Grover's bowling trophy, the bloodstone scepter, they're all magical chaos artifacts that make the bearer unchangeably powerful, but turn you into a ludicrous stereotype of your race.
Why do you think the queen of a race built around stealth and deception tried something so blatant as ACW?

>>42716545
>Grover's bowling trophy
hearty kek, can't say I've heard the idol of boreas described like that before

>>42716545
That rainbow form that the main six had briefly was hideous, but going by your idea is the ideal most marish mare a mare can be,

>>42716002
>anyone who likes creatures needs to be cast out of society
What? Did a dragon steal your boyfriend, or something?

>>42716826
All the creatures have a habit of stealing from you. Dragons and Griffons steal your wealth. Changelings steal your identity. Yaks steal your peace. Humans steal your virginity. Such a terrible thing creatures are.

>>42716886
>Humans steal your virginity

>"Officer, please, you don't understand. I was only a week away from getting my virgin witch powers when that bucking human stole it away with his stallionish wiles!"

>>42716982
He offered a rose and it made her swoon.

>>42715677
>>42713619
>After Twilight sent you on a rescue mission to Chrysalis' hive because she was busy with seeing how many hayburgers she could eat before the restaurant kicked her out, Anon goes to save Starlight
>Starlight Glimmer, Ponyville's resident gassy warrior, was captured and trapped in a pod like the fat retard she was
>Anon unleashed his most powerful attack on the changeling queen, throwing whatever was in his pockets at her
>His phone that didn't work, some tactical jingly keys that could distract stallions, and a bottlecap with a cool picture of a boot on it
>With Chrysalis nearly slain, Anon decides it'd be too much work to get Starlight out of the pod and wanders into the hive to find a changeling to pretend to be Starlight in some kind of half-baked plan to fool Twilight
>The caves of the changeling hive stretched deep into the darkness and smelled like the most rancid gooncave imaginable
>The faint glow of dozens of teal eyes stared back from the shadows
>"What is that?" many voices chattered
"Hey! I need one of y-"
>"Male voice! Go inspect!"
>One of the drones was shoved forward into the light and cautiously approached Anon
>"N-nice monkey... Easy there." she said, reaching a hoof out
>Instinctively, Anon put his hand on the chitiny hoof and it recoiled
>Anon crouched down to get a better look at the changeling
>The eyelashes were kinda cute, maybe the bugfags were onto something
>The changeling inspected Anon in equal measure before she turned back to the eyes watching from the dark, "H-he's a boy!"
>Her wings chittered and buzzed followed by an echo from all around Chrysalis' chamber
>Anon looked up, down, behind him, there were changeling drones emerging from everywhere, all buzzing their wings
>They weren't the elite warriors or heavy fighters Starlight defeated on her way in, these were the lowly worker drones
>Runts, the disabled and deformed, the ones who hid in their holes when the hive was under attack because they couldn't fight
>Dozens became hundreds as they began to crowd around Anon curiously

>>42717400
>gangrape

>>42703155
Okay hear me out: Anon starts as number 3, gets way too out of control for his would be masters and fucks off into the Everfree to eventually become number 1. After a number of probing attacks and plans against Canterlot disguised as overambitious hijinks and chicanery, enacts a genuinely evil plot to undermine and cripple Royal Alicorn rule by shapeshifting into number 2 and infiltrating their RGRE society at it's highest levels, taking as much advantage of being a high value stallion as possible.

Bumpa

>>42716002
Hehe, nice lore. Clever.^^

>>42716002
>humans are so sensitive to snowpity because there is none on Earth
>the lack has caused an evolutionary need to heighten snowpity senses to extreme levels to fine even an iota of a crumb of a fragment of a shadow of snowpity here
>meanwhile in Equestria, snowpity is plentiful
>to stop snowpity overload, which can be fatal if untreated, stallions developed weaker senses for it
>this is why human men and stallions tend to be incompatible
>a human man is liable to fly into an autistic rage if the snowpity of a mare like Moondancer is questioned
>this confuses the stallions, who's senses are closed off to the more discrete snowpity her kind of mare gives off

I'd pet a cute buggo mare as long as she behaves herself.

>>42718041
Too many mares in an area can incapacitate a man due to being overwhelmed.

>>42717657
You got a tv season right there.

>>42712349
There's this rare RGRE trope of shotgun wedding>crossbow wedding, too.

>>42703155
>>42717657
>

>>42720213
Try to be evil, candy ruins it by wooing you.

>>42716002
>>42718041
What is your obsession with Caramel, cuckie?

>>42721501
Actually, Anon is the cucker. Caramel would be the cuckee.

>>42721566
>>42665758
>>42675899
>>42649583
>>42694532
I ask again. What is your obsession with Caramel, cuckie?

>>42721621
We all know it's you posting Caramel. Get back in the kitchen.

>>42721653
By the way, Caramel, Roseluck says you better have dinner made right this time. She sounded pretty serious.

>>42721682
See >>42721653

>>42721682
>Roseluck
>Ever getting a coltfriend
kek

>>42721706
>Rosie is a hopeless romantic
Oh, good. I have a chance.

>>42721621
Why are you a newfag?

>>42721706
She needs to be in a herd with superior mare.

>>42723201
Thank you milady.

Where are the big strong mares to sweep me off my feet and carry me to their homes to cook and clean for them?!

>>42725074
Working. Hang around the construction sites and wear your longest socks.

>>42725126
He wants a wife, not a client

>>42725127
You misunderstand. Every mare wants to be a stallion's savior, come to rescue him from the troubles life threw at him. Tradesmares want a project. Something to fix, build up, and take pride in.
It's a double whammy. Practically guaranteed.

>>42725074
Find a nice guardsmare.

>>42725343
>t. pony put in charge of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza's Guardsmare Morale Maximization Programme (PMACGMMP for short)

>>42725356
That's like asking for Sombra to come around to brainwash your pony guard wife into a cuck slave.

>>42725343
What if she gets called halfway across the world because the griffons got uppity again? You might not see her for years. Who knows what sorts of mares would accost you during that time.

>>42725988
Marry a retiree, then.

>>42724455
Would your zebra mare want to decorate you with gold piercings like a piece of art?

>>42725988
>griffons
Just toss a bit in their barracks, they'll kill each other for it.

>>42725588
Don't besmirch the title, that's like being paid to be a professional wingmare. Too bad that she's the only pony that can't benefit from the program.

>>42726418
even if she would i would never let her because piercings on men are trashy, gay, and an admission that you're so unattractive you need shiny metal to distract people from how ugly you are

>>42726694
Sure, in this world. We ain’t in ours though, we’re in hers.

>>42726418
>>42726694
Zebras are more into rings that slip or clasp around your body than they are piercings. Wearing gold bands around your neck and arms like some sort of nightclub slut is still pretty gay, but she'd have to get them custom made or forge them herself so it would at least be endearing.

dont believe their lies, zebra mares have shallow pussies

>>42727119
That doesn't really bother me.

>>42727077
band are different than piercings because unless you do the nigger 'extend your neck' thing with half a dozen rings you're not mutilating your body
also your wife may have a 'break the cock-ring' fetish a-la 'break the choker'

>>42727119
>shallow pussies
Don't care still going to Zebrica

>>42724455
Wtf, gold isn't ferromagnetic, how the fuck is it attracted to a magnet?

>>42728284
Fake. All the gold is fake. Twiggie is calling the zeb out.

fast today

'Tis quite cute observing the princess address her subjects as if she slumbers not with that neighpon pillow depicting a cartoon stallion

>>42729170
Anon wishes he could get one for his cartoon mare waifu. Sadly the market is geared more towards mares so all they got are stallions husbandos.

>>42729523
Princess, the object of thine desire has no such envy. Thou shouldst return to setting the sun instead of posting on these forums.

>>42729759
Floor Bored might gift Anon a body pillow.

You must survive spousal abuse from a herd consisting out of a single pony tribe:
>Unicorns
>Pegasi
>Earth ponies
>Kirin
>Bat ponies
>Zebras
Which one do you choose and why?

>>42729925
Bats. I have a thing for bites after having a cat for a few years.

>>42729925
>Unicorns
Magic bullshit. Pass.
>Pegasi
Psychological torture by dropping you from extreme heights and making you believe they won't catch you. Pass.
>Earth ponies
Standard beatings, but with the strength of a bodybuilder. Maybe.
>Kirin
Psychological torture by muting you with the stream of silence combined with burning or scalding you. Pass.
>Bat ponies
Same as Pegasi but adding sleep deprivation. Pass.
>Crystal ponies
Same as Earth ponies but adding locking you outside to get hypothermia. Pass.
>Saddle Arabians
I'd rather not get stoned or boiled to death in oil for some alleged sin.
>Zebras
Alchemical bullshit if we're going stereotypical. Probably the least bad in the short term.

>>42730039
All of these sound like vindictive human women skinned as ponies.

>>42730680
There are really only two ways abuse can go. Either it's humans reskinned as ponies, or it's ponies doing things they think is abusive but really isn't to us.

Bump

>>42729925
Here's my more pony-oriented version
>Unicorns
They marehandle you with their magic, talk down to you like you're stupid because they think they're better/smarter for it
>Pegasus
Insist on taking you to extremely high places like cloudsdale that you find dangerous. Fly away from conversations when you try and talk seriously with them
>Earth Pony
They tease you by roughhousing, but due to your human physique you end up bruising from their strength. They continue to do it despite you asking them to stop and brush off your injuries
>Kirin
You're afraid of them losing their temper and blowing up on you, literally
>Bat Ponies
Overly predatory and doesn't respect your sleep schedule
>Zebras
Once you have a kid together they leave to get some cigarettes and never come back

>>42729925
Unicorns you can get magic protection. They might be easier to deal with.

Would you let picrel reverse mating press you?

>>42731966
it's amazon press you fucking mong

>>42658440
that's not dei, that's nepotism

>>42731220
>unicorns
Quickly draw a moondancer marechud quoting their entire argument and myself as a gigachad
>pegasi
Grab her wings
>earth pony
Try to get on her back
>Kirin
Carry a self-defense fire extinguisher
>Bat
Be loud as fuck during the day
>Zebras
Get her arrested for being a zebra

>>42727119
perfect for your hrt micropeen

saying a dude has a small dick is an insult, therefore saying a mare has a shallow pussy would be an insult in equestria

>>42732323
Getting on an earth pony's back isn't quite the instant win you hope it would be. Bucking bronco is the term.

>>42732297
They get one good child and the colt gets a ride for life.

>>42732445
A shallow mare if you say.

>>42733154
>Be Anon
>InnaEquestria
>It alright
>Mane 6 are cool
>Except Rarity
>Constantly going on about "muh dresses" and "muh aesthetics"
>Hanging out with Mane 6 minus Rara
>Mention how you think Rarity seems a little shallow
>Pinkie finds it funny but the rest give you weird looks

>>42733210
Dash breaks down laughing. AJ slaps her over the head.

>>42729925
I pity the poor stallion that herds with humans.

>>42732585
You say that right up until I go spidermonkey mode and jump 'em

>>42732102
Would you let picrel amazon press you?

>>42734603
SHE'S NAKED

>>42734776
That’s pretty normal.

>>42734776
>Anon goes to Equestria.

>>42736044
Then goes in mare, yes?

hug the mare

>>42736918
Does she hug back?

>>42737814
:(

>>42737814
Then what's the point!?

>>42737814
>bad mare playing hard to get
Unf?

>>42738684
What if it's more like how human men are stereotyped as not wanting to cuddle or snuggle after sex? Maybe mares are a little worried about being seen as gay for hugging willynilly

>>42738336
To see maresmiles

>>42677584
>I can still hear his voice in the wind
Yeah, I'll haunt this thread forever.

what is (You)r mares choice of drink?

Do you think you could actually acclimate to Equestria? Much less a rgre Equestria?

>>42740653
Yes.

>>42740653
Probably not but I'd still be happier there.

>>42740653
yes

>>42740653
this was anon's just think of the flowers moment.

>>42740653
Yes.

>>42739689
We're all ghosts floating down here. Waiting.

>>42743296
Maybe you should all be ghosts floating down there. Writing.

>luna struggles to catch up to many things after 1,000 years of exile
>however the one thing she's taken to like a fish to water is Equestria's airship fleet
>when (You) first meet her she talks your ear off with such autistic enthusiasm you wonder if you're back on one of /o/'s old circlejerk threads
>it's a bittersweet reminder that even though you're no longer on earth, those old fags were right. mentally, you're here forever
>the fact that you at least make an effort to follow along with Luna's one-sided conversation endears you to her, and you find yourself invited to visit again so she can show off her personal fleet of airships she's modified herself, promising that she'll repay you by doing whatever colty thing you want to do another day
train of thought ran out there. basically /o/fag Luna but airships sounded fun to me

>>42744053
Nice. A mare who's willing to listen to me talk about maximizing the throughput of Equestria's railroads.

>>42740653
yes

>>42743368
Ghost writing with ghost mare.

>>42744053
>train of thought
heh

>>42744053
>doing whatever colty thing you want to do
airship races

>>42745771
That would be fun. Wonder how air drifting works.

>>42746619
if i wasn't at work i'd draw it out, but the thing to realize about airships is that they have a shitton of axes to worry about
>the three translational axes relative to the ship
>the three rotational axes
>the true vertical axis relative to the ground
ship always wants to be going forward in a race, we'll call axis X
now if the ship goes into a turn they have a few ways to go about it
>rotate solely along the yaw axis
>rotate along the pitch and roll axes
>transfer forward momentum into lateral momentum and start going sideways. likely only good for S curves where the predominant direction is still forward
the entire time the airship ALSO has to consider its lift:ballast ratio so that it can ascend/descend the true vertical axis should the 'course' implement verticality, which again ships could just translate up/down or pitch up/down or do all sorts of other maneuvers
then you get into drifting, and the whole idea of turning becomes horrifically more complex because you're trying to preserve as much pure forward momentum as possible while still turning the airship where you want it to go. i imagine it'd be like trying to steer a fucking rollercoaster without any tracks

Why are ponies like this

>>42747258
They like you.

Almost spooky day, what's your mare going to dress up as? Does she let you keep the socks on?

>>42746935
If the track is a simple always turn left it would be hard to figure out the drift. Now imagine if the track was just like a roller coaster, drifting while doing loops.

>nightmare night tomorrow
wanna know something really scary?
pic related

That's what happens when you die!
https://vocaroo.com/1my9rYPUqezZ
It's pain that gets worse and worse forever!

>>42747258
>Stallions not being very talkative have the same negative connotation as women talking too much

I just finished reading the entirety of The Long and Short of It in less than a week
Some one please tell me it's still ongoing it was so good

>>42748748
Twiggles is very scary.

>>42749454
Very, very slowly
It's almost as if SQA is getting chewed up by the propeller and then takes time to reconstitute himself over and over again.

He suffers so we may read.

yearly reminder that there's a skeleton inside you
but it's okay because there's also a skeleton in your waifu and you can still bone

>>42748746
damnit this is driving me nuts the more that I think about it
>ships want a shitton of forward streamlining to minimize drag
>but to drift ships ALSO want some lateral and/or vertical streamlining
>too little and the ship slows down too much due to drag if they don't spin out entirely
>too much lateral streamlining and suddenly their vector of velocity can't match up with their vector of thrust, sort of like trying to drive forward while your car is tailfishing on black ice
god damnit why did I awaken this autism in myself?

>>42750218
>reduced horizontal drag
Luna and Anon craft the ultimate racing airship.

>>42750292
you know what I can see an enterprising mare trying that design, where the main method of thrust is also the main method of lift and just a unidirectional drag coefficient. seems like it'd be like it'd be trying to play flappy bird the entire race which sounds incredibly nauseating

>>42747258
Why are you not rgre like this

I sure hope you mares take your foals out for nightmare night.

>>42751022
Both of us have to go out with them. Wrangling 10 sugarcrazy foals ain't easy.

>>42751098
Put those foal chasing thighs to good use.

>>42750292
They can buzz Cherry a few times.

>>42749966
My skeleton doesn't have a penis bone.

>>42749454
A very slow updating story.

>>42752036
We can fix that.

>>42752477
I've been traveling out of town so much it hasn't left me much time to write on the weekends.
But I'm not traveling this weekend or the next if you catch my drift ;)

>>42750218
These airships probably would have similar control schemes as submarines:
>Water tanks for ballast, which pegasi can empty and fill to control ship angles in the long term.
>Dive planes to control pitch and roll.
>Altitude controlled through a combination of pitch, ballast, and lift from hot air blasts.
>Rudder to turn laterally.
>Rudder to kick the rear of the airship out for drifting.
>Keel fin for more of a lifting body effect to drift through turns better.
>Sails to supplement any engines.
>Periscope to see over the top of the balloons. Why not?
>Long cylindrical hull for less drag and various dick jokes.

>>42750292
>Tragedy strikes the TMS Titan on its maiden voyage.
>The airship Titan, designed by the Skygate aviation company, tragically lost control during the frisbee startup maneuver and ascended to the craft's explosion ceiling, where an awesome explosion took place.
>Among the lost are her majesty, Princess Luna and her ungrateful pet monkey Anonymous, who was last heard loudly stating he would get sick in her company.
>An investigation of the debris showed a thick green slime covering the viewing ports and controls. Experts speculate this substance may have lead to the crash.
>The nation mourns another mare lost to aviation, not long after the disappearance of the amicable Air Heart.

>>42753468
oh shit i didn't think of comparing airships to submarines. that's good shit

Would you?

>>42754053
Ugh, no, absolutely not, never. I'm not that kind of man. On a completely unrelated note, what's her name, and is she single?

>>42754072
Yeah I mean ick, right? Haha I bet she would destroy your pelvis, like ew haha.
Her name is Bulk Shipment btw and I'm pretty sure she's single.

>>42754086
Haha totally. I'm gonna pull a prank where I go to her workplace with freshly baked muffins under the guise of bringing a treat for our local postal service but in reality I'll be putting myself in the perfect position for Bulk to see that I'm a good baker and she should take me out on a date maybe. Unless you guys think she might like scones more than muffins?

>>42754146
Haha I bet your stalpals would freak you should totally do that

I want to fluster mares with genuine compliments.

>>42754487
It would make my day making a mare happy.

>>42754487
>>42755147
This. Relationships, whether friendly or romantic, are built on the little things done throughout the day. Sex is all well and good, you horny bastards, but at the end of the day it's an amplifier, not a relationship builder.

>>42756051
Can we still do the sex thing?

>>42754487
What if the mare you compliment is a turbo marecel and doesn't believe you're being genuine?

>>42756830
Tell her I owe her sex and see if that flusters her

>>42756830
I'll still compliment her next time I see her.

>>42756830
Keep doing it every time I see her. Especially when she's around her friends. They'll peer-pressure her into believing I'm genuine.
She'll get mad at them and bet that they are all wrong, and she's going to prove them wrong.
I prove her wrong.
She goes back later to her friends and gives them all 5 bits.

>>42754086
Lots of her to love.

>>42754053
>>42754086
more like a male mare jfc

>>42748748
did ur pic get aids

>>42759038
I think she's cute

what a lazy, boring sunday this has been

>>42760634
I see the dream catchers didn't do their job.

>>42753530
I think that’s how a Star Trek does it.

If you were reincarnated as a stallion in RGREquestria which fate would you choose and why?
>Be a bratty colt and get corrected by good mares
>Be a good colt and get mindbroken by bad mares

>>42761796
Can I do both and get a herd of both good and bad mares who take turns correcting and mindbreaking me?

>>42761796
i choose the third way

>>42760634
They're gonna have to be a bit bigger than that

>>42761796
what if I want to be a boring colt and get roped into a life of excitement by a dangerous mare who never takes off her leather jacket?
A marely mare who hides her real self behind a cold exterior, and yet wants nothing but to find a real connection even though she isn't willing to take the first step out of fear that doing so makes her a lesser mare.

>>42713464
In one of my stories in development, Chrysalis wields a giant two handed spiked Morningstar, kind of like this except the entire surface is covered in giant needle like spikes, one inch thick, and it's black.

>>42762222
Checkem
>>42648614 (OP)
Hey RGRE, I got a new short story for you. I wrote this one a while ago, but never finished it until now. I decided to brush it up and post it.
Anon in RGRE Dragonlands
Includes genderbent dragons.
Synopsis: Anon appears in the Dragonlands and gets harassed by the locals.
Originally written: 2022
Finished: 2025 November.
https://ponepaste.org/11524

>>42754053
>Today was not a usual day for Bulk Shipment
>Yes, she clocked in at the usual time
>Received her assigned deliveries for the day from the usual counter, pinned on her usual clipboard
>Got a cup of the usual slightly burnt coffee from the usual 10-year-old coffee maker in her usual coffee-stained mug
>No, what was not usual was when Bulk had taken a moment to scan the day's spreadsheet as she enjoyed her cup of jane
>Her first delivery was addressed to...herself
>And the sender?
>Anonymous
>Today was not a usual day for Bulk Shipment

>>42762260
Anon trudged in thick snow with many branches clutched in his arms. He wore a three piece suit and tie that did little to protect him from the cold air and fared poorly against the environment. He didn't know how he got to where he was, he just remembered going to sleep in his bed one day waking up here where it was the winter season somehow. He reasoned that either he was transported to the southern hemisphere or somehow drugged him into a coma for six months. Luckily for him, there was an active volcano that could provide lots of heat nearby. The ground and air became warm as Anon walked up the volcano. It was dangerous but he had no other options to ward off the cold. That wasn't a problem though; the real problem was the locals, humanoid dragons.

"Take that!" said a Red Dragon.

The Red Dragon kicked over Anon’s pitiful survival shelter. He had overheard the others call her Garble. The dragons came in many sizes, some huge and some small, but this one and her friends were just a bit shorter than Anon.

"Hey, Bitch, get away from that," yelled Anon.

Anon dropped his branches and picked up a fist sized rock. He threw it at the dragon, missing but close enough to make her flinch. He ran to stop her. She fled long before he got close but it was already too late for his pitiful shelter which was now just a burnt pile on the floor.

"Stay out of dragon lands, Idiot," said Garble.

Garble and her gang of dragons had been harassing Anon day and night. He was furious. Because of the damage, he wouldn't be able to rebuild his shelter that day. The air was warm though and Anon could sleep comfortably enough on the new branches he brought if it didn't rain.

Anon moved his camp further down the volcano, next to a lava flow in the snowy forest. The intense heat from the lava flow kept the area warm but not as warm as he would like in the night. He could get water from a river but had barely eaten for days, so he was extremely excited for the fat raccoon he had cooking on a spit.

"Well look what we have here. Someone built us a campfire." A teasing voice yelled out from behind Anon.

Even before Anon turned around, he felt rage bubbling up. He spun around and saw a thin purple dragon, Fume, setting fire to his shelter with her flame breath. The wood was wet and didn’t catch immediately but it was only a matter of seconds under the intense flames. Anon growled and jumped up to stop Fume. He ran up and to shove her back but she retreated with a shit eating grin. He patted out some of the small flames on his shelter.

"My my, what a delightful home cooked meal, don't mind if I do." said another voice, lower in pitch.

(I'm just using this as an excuse to post the genderbent pictures I found)
>>42762313
Anon saw the fat pudgy dragon, Clump, picking up his raccoon. He was beyond ticked off at this point and charged at her. She threw the raccoon on the stick over his head to another dragon before he could get her. He jumped for it but missed by a wide margin. Suddenly he was surrounded by the entire gang of six dragons, all playing keep-away with his raccoon. Their laughing and jeering penetrated deep in his amygdala. He was going insane and snapped by the third toss.

"What's the matter, minotaur boy, aren't you hungry?" Garble jeered, holding the raccoon.

Anon charged at Garble for the raccoon and she threw it over his head with a smirk on her face. She only realized that he wasn't going for the raccoon when his fist filled her vision. Anon delivered a bone jarring punch square in her face with his full body weight. Garble stumbled but recovered quickly to fight back. He channeled the spirit of his inner chimpanzee and went crazy, getting close to her face, biting, swinging like crazy, screeching, grabbing, and clawing at anything he could. She gave thundering punches that made him see spots but she still limited her attacks and hesitated, trying to disengage rather than fight. She thought he was a drake, afterall, how dangerous could he be?

Garble stumbled back from the assault and fell down. Immediately Anon was on top of her, trying to end her life. He yelled incoherently, slamming his fists down on her. She grabbed and clawed back at Anon's arms, cutting into the skin through the fabric.

"Get off her you crazy bastard." yelled a White Dragon.

The White Dragon, Fizzle, rammed into Anon like a truck, throwing him off. He skidded to a stop in the snow, painting red where he bled. He was dizzy but got up and charged again at her.
She was helping Garble up but blew a fireball at him.

"Get fucked you idiot," yelled Fizzle.

Anon saw the bright flames and braced, fear taking hold. They hit and burnt his clothes but left him untouched somehow. He looked down at himself and realized this, and charged again with a yell. Fizzle blew a constant flamethrower at Anon, blotting him out until his first flew out and blindly struck at her. He yelled as he struck out with his foot, toe first, into her dragon cunt with his hard shoes. She yelled out in pain and collapsed. Like a switch flipping, all the other dragons immediately dog piled Anon and held him down. He struggled but it was useless. One of his eyes was swelling up. He saw Garble standing above him through the blur.

Garble spit out some blood. "Fizzle you okay?"

Fizzle coughed and groaned. "Yeah just give me a sec."

"You guys just got the shit beat out of you," laughed a violet dragon, Backdraft.

Garbles' only response was to smack her on the shoulder.

"What are we going to do about him?" said a black dragon, Charcoal.

(Alright, that's enough of a teaser. Find the rest in the link!)

>>42761830
Shame nobody ever did art of the canon German mare being a Nazi.

>>42762327
Did you originally post the story in RGRE or in a different thread?

>>42756830
>when she thinks you're a glowie

>>42760634
>"What are you going to do about it? I'm a princess."

>>42762869
>"Hey it's not my fault the ambient magic residue that makes my skin green also makes me glow in the dark!"
hmm, that brings up an interesting question: if multiple anons wind up innaquestria and ambient magic turns humans green, is the shade of green consistent across individuals or does the hue vary from man to man, with the occasional weird effect like mild bioluminescense?
i'd pity the fags that are unfortunate enough to roll lime green, especially if one of them was boston because he'd never get rid of the 'lime scout' ribbing

>>42763399
Not in my house you ain’t.

>>42762852
I don't think so....

>>42763448
all 'umans is green but I iz the greenes an that makes me the best umie

>>42762260
>I’m betting he’s hypoallergenic too
kek

bump cause I gotta shower but I don't want thread to die before I read the story

>>42762327
Don't get dragons all too often, but the idea they think that Anon is being breed to be hypoallergenic is hilarious. It's a good thing he didn't have a weapon, might have actually killed someone.

survive the night, rgre!

>>42765934
The zombie shambles on.

I love a mare in uniform

>>42767305
I want her to rape me in the interrogation room

>>42767418
What kind of confession is she trying to get out of you?

>>42767418
>corrupt cop mare tries
>stymied by the fact I'm able to stay soft through sheer force of will
no mortal mare can steal my wizard powers

>>42767813
Wizard powers makes you prime suspect #1.

Are you ready to fight when a mare try to steal your stallion?

>>42768804
>when a mare tries
>to steal your stallion

>>42769160
its weird looking at something and not having any idea if you drew it or not

>>42697273
>>42706322
Thank you for kind words!
>>42702879
Thanks and it is essentially a green but converted to adhere to fimfic rules.

>Be me.
>See people demanding an epilogue after that rather abrupt ending.
>okie_dokie_lokie.jpg
>Two+ weeks and 10k words later...
>It's only halfway there.
>FUCK

>>42767813
>you don't get hard
>she grows ever increasingly concerned
>she brings you to the horsepital because she's worried about you
>she visits you every day after her shift while the doctors try to figure out what's wrong
>she sneaks you restaurant specials and cooked meats seized from griffon smugglers because the hospital meals are shit
>she nuzzles your cheek every time before leaving
>she uses up her vacation accompanying you to a specialist in Canterlot when the hospital can't figure out the problem
>she becomes convinced your affliction was caused by an evil sorceress or a cultish ritual
>single-hoofedly takes down an underground gelding network
>becomes known as the city's premier defender of stallions
>placed at the helm of the special crimes unit
>still makes the time to visit you regularly to make sure you're doing well
At what point do you tell her?

>>42769559
Just tell the doctor that you refuse to give up your wizard power.
Then you get diagnosed with extreme stallion whimsy.

>>42769485
>Two+ weeks and 10k words later...
Is this turning from an epilogue into a follow-up story about Anon and his new herd of supermares?

Just told a stoid he had nice balls and he looked disgusted fuck my chud life

>>42769946
Have you tried not being a sub 8 mare?