Thread 42690747

Come one and all to the meta-writefag and help raise the quality of MLP fanfiction! Featuring: A daring message about pedophiles being bad!

ITT: Club fic numbers, eerie towns, breathing when you're submersed in amniotic fluid, your arms aren't part of your anus, Faust's season 1 plans, metaphorical wizard towers, some fetish stories are more important than others, bringing lube to Mare Fair, a teenage girl at heart, macarons and macaroons, star anise sorta looks like a puckered asshole, adding citations to your fictional biography, voting for a cold shower, Shining Armor yet again, diaper changes are still diaperfaggotry, a giantess pony crushing a city for sexual gratification is show-accurate, your wife keeping your penis in a jar on her nightstand, and "lol ur old"!

>/fimfic/ Secret Book Club
The one hundred and thirty-third book is Injuring Eternity:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/167615/injuring-eternity
If (You) want to participate, finish the story by Sunday, October 19.
Past bookclubs: https://ponepaste.org/11255

>Recommended stories:
Tired of authors crossing over a dozen IPs? Fed up with downer shipping? Well, we've compiled the best of the worst in order to bring you our absolute average!
New Starter Kit - http://mlpficreviews.org.uk/starter/
Old Starter Kit - http://i.imgur.com/vuTA7EN.png

>Common fic abbreviations used by the thread:
https://ponepaste.org/7317

>A list of reviews made by the Anons in this thread:
http://www.mlpficreviews.org.uk
Use the commands ">review <story link>" and ">discuss <story link>" to add reviews to a story.
Userscript for extra features: https://ponepaste.org/8619

>An in-depth writing guide for beginners:
https://eznguide.neocities.org/

>Additional material for authors:
Rhorse's Horse Behavioral Notes - https://ponepaste.org/932
Politics and the English Language - https://www.orwell.ru/library/essays/politics/english/e_polit/
Vhatug's tips for anatomically correct clop - https://poneb.in/g4VpEg4f
Setting a story in motion - https://youtu.be/ufO8LbwTdu0
Purdue Online Writing resources: https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/index.html and https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/subject_specific_writing/creative_writing/writers/index.html

>Can you pre-read my story?
Post it on Google Docs or HackMD with comments enabled and give us a link.

>Various reviews and riffs:
Fillyanon's Bookshelf - https://ponepaste.org/5555
Notkickass222urmom's Reviews - https://pastebin.com/u/notkickass222urmom
IHeartShinzakura's Reviews - https://ponepaste.org/user/IHeartShinzakura
Appleanon reads fics - https://poneb.in/wmGX7FPm
Deluxe Big Master Review List - https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1z9Bz7UnEbxo-svlXa2tV49PJkP-yFuR7pRXiBUn-IeU
A Guide to Rational Fics - https://files.catbox.moe/3jzrfm.png
The Royal Canterlot Library's Top 16 Fanfics - https://royalcanterlotlibrary.net/top16/

Previous Thread: >>42629802

Sorry for the delay. I had no idea how close to the end we were, and then it made me wait five minutes to start a thread. You all know that you can bake too, right? As long as you write a proper ITT.

Second for HIE

>>42690749
It's the weekend. I wake up at noon.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/583632/scapegoat

This has been on the featured section for a while now. Is it good?

>>42690753
...goes to the bin where it belongs

>>42690792
it's completely correct but it's also not good.

>>42690749
>I had no idea how close to the end we were
It literally tells you which page we're on, and the catalog exists. I'm busy keeping the PriOke thread alive and making pomegranate juice anyway.

>>42690792
Just read it and decide for yourself

2^2^2 for best 2uo!
Enjoy this conveniently packaged Tuna: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/459048/natural-ones

>>42691568
But you tell us not to read Homestuck

>>42691085
I went to bed and we weren’t at the bump limit, and I woke up and we were on page ten. If I had been paying attention, I would have realized before bedtime that we had almost 500 posts. I would have prepared the ITT in advance, and then I would have been ready this morning. Instead, all of you sat and happily watched the thread slide off while I wrote an ITT.

>>42691571
Unfortunately for you, 2^2^2 is sixteen no matter which way you cut it. You meant 2*2*2 instead.

>>42691726
>Instead, all of you sat and happily watched the thread slide off while I wrote an ITT.
Not me, I was asleep.

This conversation has me thinking: I should prepare another image for the OP sometime.

>>42691726
Some of us have lives outside this website.

>>42691769
I call bullshit

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/583642/eeyup-and-a-promise

Oh look, AI generated slop in the feature box.

>>42692254
Reported.

>>42692254
Yeah I think the dead giveaway, other than the dashes, is the perfect grammar and spelling in the fic while the author in the comments can't even spell the word 'squirrel' right.

>>42691726
They're just telling you how much the ITT is appreciated.

>>42692254
>>42692338
Just did a quick scan and immediately saw the whole
>not X, but Y

>>42692254
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/583642/eeyup-and-a-promise
So, someone's been on the site for over a decade, never written anything, but now chooses to use AI to make a story.
It makes me a bit sad, honestly.

>>42693040
Given how the comments are, I think they might be retarded

>>42693060
They're using AI to write horsewords. Somehow that's worse than retarded.

>>42693040
From the comments, he seems like he can’t write a single English sentence at all, which makes it even more ridiculous for him to try to pass this off as his own writing.

>>42693064
That's how it is for AI bros, they want to have accolades and feel like they've made something, but find no joy in the act of creation.

>retarded ESL using AIsloppa can enter the feature bin
>most posters here can’t
sad

>>42693243
I stopped caring about making the feature box around the time I reached a double-digit number of appearances there. Being featured really doesn't say much about the quality of the story.

>>42693315
You can get on it with 3 likes, it's just a statistical thing.

>>42693326
Yeah, it's easily gamed. If you already have fans who like your work, then you can get a new story to the feature box before the site ever updates the story's number of views. Then it looks like a story with no views and no votes is featured, which I'm sure looks confusing to people who don't know how the box works.

>>42693354
>no votes
It'll show votes always, it just won't show the votes on the non-featured box if there's less than ten votes at all. At least in my experience.

>>42692338
this has been talked about before but what separates writers that use em dashes compared to ai slop?

>>42693503
It's just one indicator among many.

>>42693525
well what are the others? the mare fair smut story was accused of being AI but nobody seemed to call it out other than these threads

What about this one?
It certainly feels AI.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/583040/mortifera-umbra

>>42693534
Overly flowery prose that sometimes doesn't make sense.

Sort of weirdly upbeat descriptions: AI hates being negative and it has that kind of tone.

Perfect grammar, syntax, and spelling when the author's comments and normal writing is borderline or outright ESL or reads like a twelve year old. And I don't mean like something where one is proofread and the other isn't, but something where the guy types like he's a tard.

Every AI detector you can find says it's AI generated.

>>42693534
Once you chag enough you develop a feel for it.

>>42693534
You need to actually use this shit a bit to see the signs; to recognize the isms (words, sentences, structures) that models overuse, etc.
Here, for this story, it's not even subtle. The guy probably used an official interface that doesn't let you change parameters or system prompts and just asked the AI to write him a story.
You can tell it’s AI from the first paragraph alone:
>The rooster crowed just as Celestia's sun peeked over the hills, casting golden light across the dew-speckled orchards of Sweet Apple Acres. Inside the farmhouse, the air was thick with the scent of old wood, apple preserves, and the faint tang of last night's cider.
They love starting stories with "the golden rays of the sun" or some variation of it, and
>casting golden light across the dew-speckled orchards
is pure AI phrasing.
"The air being thick with X" is another spammed structure, same for "the faint tang of X."
It's overly descriptive without being evocative, another big tell of weak AI writing.

You also get other isms later:
>"symphony of X and Y"
and the em-dash spam and this >>42692897

You can also use:
https://app.gptzero.me/
It's not always great at detecting AI writing, and retards who roughly know what they're doing can easily get 0–10% on it with pure AI text.
But if it gives you a 100% on a fic, it's definitely AI.
No fic written before the big LLMs existed will ever score higher than 2%. You can test that yourself with older ones.

The other real fact is most fanfic writers don't write with the best grammar or sentence structure. AI by comparison is usually close to perfect, because it's a fucking robot.

>>42693649
Another sign: "not X, but Y" or similar. The first chapter of this story has:
>Not the scary kind, but the kind that nudges a story forward.
>Not with urgency, but with gentle insistence.
>He stepped behind a tree, not hiding so much as observing with the patience of a pony who’d seen enough crusader chaos to know when something was… off-pattern.
>Satisfied, she darted down the trail, not toward the farmhouse or the usual school path, but toward the pond near the eastern edge of the orchard.
>At the pond, Scootaloo paused—not to reflect, but to prepare.

Flim and Flam would totally use AI to write story commissions for them if they had access to that option.

>>42693636
I await buying a GPU for the sole purpose of masturbation. I like the benefit you have mentioned. It will be my excuse.

>>42693678
>monocharacter elipsis
Yet another indicator.
>>42693795
Flim and Flam did nothing wrong, you filthy luddite.

>>42693795
Flim and Flam would also doubleteam Applejack raw so they can't be considered totally tasteless.

>>42693891
They'd never. There's no profit.

>>42693914
There's farm mare puss

4chan thinks my post is spam because I wrote so many replies.

>>42693040
Indeed, that is sad. Optimistically, you could argue someone got his account somehow, but I doubt there's yet a market for aged Fimfiction accounts.

>>42693137
>sure as hey

>find no joy in the act of creation.
I feel like creating something kind of proves someone has a soul, you know? That is, someone who lacks this drive to create may as well be soulless.

>>42693243
I managed to get pretty high with my last story, top of the non-mature box and second spot in the full box. It was really just a matter of having regular readers who give a thumbs up and comment. Once you get into the box a few times, you earn the right to call it worthless without crying over sour grapes.

>>42693503
It pisses me off that normal punctuation is considered to be a sign of machine-generated garbage by some just because it's hard to type on most keyboards. I hate this trend of considering mistakes to be a sign of humanity as well. The fact that most people are effectively illiterate and can't even spell common words shouldn't drag those of us who can write down with them.

I started using em dashes in my writing recently, because I decided it was time to stop leaving alone or rephrasing the occasional sentence with too many commas. It's good to start using new tools, or at least playing with them, and education about punctuation in the US is even worse than that for vocabulary.

>>42693534
>the mare fair smut story
Which one was that?

>>42693678
While there's nothing wrong with using this sentence structure, any good writer would eventually find it so grating that he starts changing it up, lest it become mind-numbing:
>Not the scary kind, but the kind that nudges a story forward.
Instead of the scary kind, the kind that nudges a story forward.
Not the scary kind, rather the kind that nudges a story forward.

>Not with urgency, but with gentle insistence.
With gentle insistence over urgency.

>He stepped behind a tree, not hiding so much as observing with the patience of a pony who’d seen enough crusader chaos to know when something was… off-pattern.
He stepped behind a tree, observing moreso than hiding, with the patience of a pony who’d seen enough crusader chaos to know when something was… off-pattern.

I got bored trying to rephrase the last two there. There are so many good prepositions to use, but I guess that requires knowing what a preposition is.

>>42693649
>>42693619
not saying these are wrong but I thought ai detectors were shit. You could put in normal sections from any story and it'd say its AI written

>>42693995
Not really. I've never had AI detection on any of my stories.

>>42693995
>But I thought AI detectors were shit.
It's easy to trick them into thinking AI writing isn't AI writing.
This one, however, will never flag creative writing written by a human as more than 5% AI-generated (and I'm being generous, human creative writing almost always scores 0% in every case I've tested).
>You could put in normal sections from any story and it'd say it's AI-written
Go ahead. Take a book or a fic written before 2022 and show me that.
Spoiler: You can't.

>>42693649
The big giveaway for me is
>one square suspiciously embroidered with a tiny hammer and a heart
AI has learned that it should add little details like this that jump out to the reader as having some significance, but isn't smart enough to connect them to anything. That hammer-and-heart cutie mark doesn't match any character from the show (according to the wiki) and is never mentioned again for the rest of the fic.

AI could never come up with stuff like this.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/583764/the-truth-about-stallions-by-moondancer-worlds-foremost-pony-incel

>>42694474
>RGRE meets Crystal Cafe
My cancer got AIDS.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/583765/where-the-warmth-is
>even the foalcon is AI now
Grim. It's ripping off that Scootaloo prostitute fic from a few weeks ago, too.
>>42693615
Click his profile, he's used AI before

Why
Is it that hard to write

>>42694682
It's too hard for someone who wants instant gratification.

>>42694744
That's what greens are for.

>>42693831
lmao
I never would have noticed this, good thing these LLMs can do all my thinking for me so I don't have to bother parsing simple phrases.

>>42694744
Is it really that hard to just accept you're NGMI and give up?
I still write down the occasional idea even though I know I'll never write it and it'll end up wasted cause I don't write.

>>42695331
You should share your ideas ITT so that someone with actual talent could make something of them.

>>42695331
If retards has self awareness they wouldn't be retards.

No broken harmonies, but Twi's lost her way, in
>/FSBC/

Well, just like last week, the anni is still ongoing, so this post will be brief. And that kinda sucks since the fic deserves better! I'd say that Mono might be the best still active writer, excepting, of course, the fine gentlemen posting in this thread (lol).

Are her stories a little predictable? Yes, they are, but that's because they're more about their emotional content than strictly the plot. Not that the plot isn't there—it's better than in many fics—but it's not the focus of the story. What is funny is that Mono is aware of this and makes not one, but two jabs at her own writing style and the related cliches. She's aware, the readers are aware, and everyone who likes this sort of overly romantic drama can read this. Well, while I enjoy most genres, I acknowledge that I have a soft spot for this kind of thing. Do you see the ending coming from a mile away? Absolutely, but that's a feature, not a bug here. It's building tension.

It's written well, too! While it does depart from show-like Equestria a few paces—mostly because of how horny these mares get—the setting isn't "unpony", and the characterizations are believable. Obviously, a major part of the ponyfic writing journey is recognizing that some characters are just better and then writing them more. I really like Mono's Rarity in most of her fics, and this Twi is a pretty decent "Twilight will outlive her friends"-Twilight. There are at least a few minor plot errors, or some slight inconsistencies/turns you're not supposed to notice, but nothing that would actually derail what the fic is doing.
Likewise, the technical side of this fic is a bit unusual. The styling is, by all accounts, much better than the average fic, employing even dashes and semicolons to enhance the effectiveness of the prose, but it is also littered with very silly typographic typos. Missed space here, a single set of two hyphens in a fic normally using dashes, some actual typos, etc. Like, nothing that would indicate the writer can't write better, and everything indicating a lack of proofreading.
Still, to the favorites it goes. (I might be late to respond due to the anni.)

[Voting]
We have two options for next week. If enough anons read this fic, we could move to the prequel:
>https://www.fimfiction.net/story/388215/the-last-train-home
But if that doesn't work out, here are some suggestions:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/134645/a-taste-of-the-good-life
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/37820/lines-and-webs
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/99602/princess-celestia-gets-mugged + https://www.fimfiction.net/story/50795/the-youth-in-the-garden
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/755/on-a-cross-and-arrow

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/583788/of-dragons-and-daring-do
Holy fuck this is the most blatant AIslop yet, to the point of hilarity. The description is eight times the length of any actual chapter, each of which is a very GPT-ish one-paragraph description of what the chapter /would/ be, like pic related. There are 80 chapters in total, all with wordcounts never cracking triple digits. An autistic child definitely made this.

>>42695331
>projecting this hard
Open a text editor. Close your browser. Write, and don't come back until you've published something. You can do it, Anon, just like I did.

Anyone else notice that FimFic loads slower than Ao3?

>>42696340
Well that was a weird one. A one chapter wonder kind of. I wasn't really enjoying it for chapters 1-5 but it's all necessary to make ch 6 as good as it was, even if you could see it all coming. But sort of like I was saying with pinkie x celestia, it really didn't feel natural. Almost everything Twilight does feels contrived. She planned her time travel for a hundred years apparently and it resulted in her putting a cloak on and wandering the streets of ponyville hoping no one notices lmao, wtf? And rarity's entire plot is that she permanently keeps 'dump papers' on her just incase Twilight gets a bit uppity. I hate this, the papers just sahouldn't exist. These two points are so retarded that I could not like the fic for those first 5 chapters. I didn't feel anything at all until ch6. The entire fic is also just future Twilight and present Rarity putting present Twilight through as much emotional damage as possible which is kinda funny, but also doesn't really make sense in the fic. But then the last chapter exists and is very kino so it makes up for all that.
>pegasi live longer than earth ponies
>twilight concerned about cucking her past self
but not too concerned
>twilight won't check her journal for a manehatten trip note
Kino, until she does 1 page later so nvm
>"You... don't care that I'm almost six hundred years old?"
Why would she wtf
>worried about coco when probably every newspaper in manehatten is gonna have an article about princess twilight's surprise visit
And having a q&a session as part of the date is lame as fuck. I think I just really don't care for the premise of this fic
>rarity is an exhibitionist
>saying the name of the movie
>Celestia couldn't keep up her mask when she recalled twilight to ponyville
Holy kino

>>42696340
>Do you see the ending coming from a mile away? Absolutely, but that's a feature, not a bug here. It's building tension.
Yeah I think it's the tension building I have a problem with here. Every time we get more tension it's because characters (Twilight) is doing some insane thing that doesn't make sense. But ch6 does feel good as you might expect from releasing all that tension.

VOTE
I'm down for the prequel. I don't think it has any mandatory tension to build up

>>42696834
>Almost everything Twilight does feels contrived.
This is how Mono writes.

>>42696862
Mono is a woman, thus gifted with the preternatural ability to accurately portray female retardation.

>>42696862
That's why their best fics are the Twiguard ones where there's almost no character development that has to happen or even a plot really

>>42696834
Twiflag, are you by chance into any two or more of the following: anime, lesbians, BDSM, magical girls, teenage drama?

>>42696834
>I wasn't really enjoying it for chapters 1-5
Oh, I liked them very much! This isn't the first time this happened. Mono writes in a very specific style, and I think there are just two types of readers—you either get it or you don't. And maybe a third type that "knows" what's there to get but still doesn't want to fall for it. But if you come to the conclusion that:
>Almost everything Twilight does feels contrived.
Then the fic failed you, and you failed the fic. You just weren't part of the target audience, same as (hopefully) most of the anons itt aren't the target audience for autistic 100k Thomas the Tank Engine crossovers, or how many people get filtered out by Background Pony. In this specific case, if you go and try to analyze every single decision, you went down the wrong interpretation path. This is the kind of a fic where you breathe in and let the *feelings* of the characters guide you through the decisions made by the characters. I think your post here is missing the point, basically.
Of course, quality matters. Fics being "more good" means more people will be willing to go with them. Sundowner Season is probably the best example of the type of narrative that Mono usually targets, and done near-perfectly.

>keeps 'dump papers' on her just incase Twilight gets a bit uppity
This is not at all the reason why she does this. Like, 0%.
>but not too concerned
It's a weird situation. Is this cheating? For Twilight it's not, imo, but for Rarity? Eh, I suppose if present Twilight thinks it's not, then past Twilight probably also wouldn't see this as a problem, so it's ultimately not. But it is weird.
>>rarity is an exhibitionist
And also a lot of hagposting in the fic. "Fake" hagposting, but still.
>is doing some insane thing that doesn't make sense
Holy shit, they are not solving a puzzle! They are doing things, making mistakes, and then trying to fix those things. That's the fic.

>>42696862
>>42696891
I am most assuredly not a woman, and I get this writing style. This is not a gender problem, it's just a stylistic choice. And Mono is both aware of her style and deliberately leaning into it.

>>42697104
>I am most assuredly not a woman
You wouldn’t have a pregnancy fetish if you were

>>42697171
>he doesn't know

>>42696340
>youth in the garden
I could have sworn the bookclub already read that but apparently not. It’s not there in the previous fics list and I’m the one that made it.

>>42696340
I definitely enjoyed this fic. Reading this one after Mono’s Twiguard, it’s clear both that Mono has improved since this fic came out, and that she was always quite good. Advanced errors notwithstanding.
For an immortality blues fic, it was way better than I expected. I liked how much time the story dedicated to the SoL elements, especially Twilight’s dates with Rarity. The storytelling scenes were all delightful, as well as the progression of physical closeness between them through the chapters.
I also liked how fast the story went. There were a lot of bad immortality blues and misunderstandings tropes that got worked into the story and could have dragged it down. I prefer it when they’re just missing, like in WaSLC or another fic, but here at least the stay of Rarity’s breakup speech and the “woe is me, all my friends die” crap was cut very short. I especially liked Rarity’s counter about how Twilight gets Rarity’s whole life, that was ridiculously over-the-top romantic.
As for issues with the fic, I’ve seen worse time travel plots, but this one was definitely not that good. The double dipping with Rarity’s note on Twilight’s journal both being there and not being there was bad, and the established time travel mechanics don’t allow for it. Also, why did Luna get mad at Twilight for doing what she dared her to do?
Also, compared to TEL and Twiguard, it’s apparent from this setting that the ship itself is weak. Mostly, they just love each other because. To reach, it looks like Twilight loves Rarity because she can keep up with Twilight intellectually, and Rarity loves Twilight because she’s hot and adorkable. Doesn’t really seem like the foundation for a millenia-surviving soul bond.

>>42697171
Who's gonna tell him.

>>42697171
Wrong raraflag

>>42697511
>Also, why did Luna get mad at Twilight for doing what she dared her to do?
kek i forgot about that. Honestly I had a you thought at that part. It seemed like it was just there to show us that Twilight would've had a much better time if she was in love with Luna rather than Rarity

>>42696834
Funny, I liked all the chapters, I probably liked the last chapter the least. Like Rariflag said, Rarity's dump papers were not to hurt Twilight, but, from Rarity's perspective, to help her. It's part of the pervading immortality blues theme: Rarity tried twice in the fic to dump Twilight because Twilight would outlive her. In that specific case, it's also because Rarity was sure Twilight would eventually stop loving her, another thing that comes up a lot.
Also, I forgot to complain about how, in the scene where Rarity accuses Twilight of being a changeling, Twilight was also downstairs apparently just, like, watching TV for hours while Rarity was upstairs with Twilight talking about time travel.

>>42696340
>depart from show-like Equestria a few paces—mostly because of how horny these mares get
>

>>42691568
Now I kinda wanna read about the crusaders playing sburb and destroying equestria.

>>42698186
Kinda funny how it's entirely in character for them.

>>42698149
>Luna eyeing up the little colt
She is not beating the allegations

>>42697214
The advantage of clubbing since day 1 is that I can always tell if we'd repeat a fic.

>>42697511
>it’s clear both that
Yes to both of those.
>that was ridiculously over-the-top romantic
This speech (and its return later) was one of the two things that convinced me she's doing it on purpose. The other moment was the doomed fancy where they pretend that they'll just run away from it all, together. That was lovely. The park date was one of the most memorable parts of the fic for me.
>the ship itself is weak
It's not the strongest, but it's also relatively early Mono. Pre-TEL, even. This is part of why I'd like to read the prequel—to see if slightly more experienced Mono coming back to the ship improved on it.

>>42698245
She's just got baby fever.

>>42698319
>Luna cornering the cakes and forcing them to relate, in great detail, the acts of conception that led to the bearing of twins
>By the end they think they preferred getting pranked by Celestia instead

>>42698186
I don't. Homestuck autism is the bad kind of autism now.

>>42698954
>now

>>42699043
It's definitely gotten significantly worse, and doesn't have the benefit of even producing good fan content.

>>42699239
Ya think they have a show is gonna send that autism into overdrive?

>>42698954
>now

>>42698253
>clubbing
Has anyone in this thread actually been to a club? I’ve heard it’s a rather cringe experience in which everyone pretends to enjoy it.

>>42699270
It didn't, lmao

>>42698319
Fics about baby fever?

>write next installment in my series
>be happy while writing
>hit a snag
>meander for a while
>immediately come up with a good premise for a sequel
I hate myself sometimes.

>>42700947
Hahah yeah who writes the sequel to something first
Right

yaaaaaaay
I'm writding

>>42701816
>not writing an additional 71 words
shaking my head, to be honest, upperclassman

>>42672178
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/582286/selfless
It was a nice blast from the past to the old "plot of the week" oneshot genre that ended once the show did.

>>42680730
It's stalled. Turns out, downloading half a terabyte of anime isn't good for the horseword process.

>>42687754
A stereotypical "seventh element" Mary Sue fic, but Dash is the only character who realizes something is wrong and now has to try and save the day. The May Sue is actually an eldrich abomination that feeds off the readers' reaction. As the story progresses and things fall apart, there'd be an ARG aspect where the sockpuppet author begins to mentally break down in the comments and blog posts as the Mary Sue begins to emerge into our reality.

I just could never will myself to write the cringy Mary Sue scenes and I feel the window of opportunity has now passed with the fandom's shrinkage as a fic like that from a "new" author probably wouldn't get enough angry readers for the plot to make sense.

>>42690792
>Is it good?
Looks to be some classic Cozy apologia, so no.

>>42701816
I forgot. What are you writing?

>>42702065
Some good old fashioned slop.

>>42701884
>classic Cozy apologia
That means it must be good.

>>/vg/42687754
Cozy Glow getting a magical lobotomy (at her request) from Luna and the ethics of such things.
I had it as a oneshot but it just didn't work as that, and I didn't have the motivation and I couldn't think of where to take it further to.

>>42702088
>>/vg/42687754
wat

>>42702160
I am on two benadryls, a beta blocker, and reading the indie general on /vg/ while trying to stay awake. Believe me the typos could be worse. I am this close to forcibly hallucinating my sleep paralysis demon into Luna.

Huh, I just noticed this reply, or I saw it again just now anyway: >>42563338
>comm sum flutters, faget.png
Can do, Gold Meddle: >>42628191

Now that I'm posting Fluttershy, I never mentioned this story I'm writing about her:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/583095/weighing-down-by-the-scale

I didn't commission this cover art, but my commissioner did.

>>42701816
Good job. I'm managing roughly five hundred words a day right now, after many delays this month, but a real deadline like Nightmare Night is always a good kick in the ass. I'm hoping to get up to one thousand words a day for at least the next few days, or weeks.

>>42702406
Cute hoers wife, though I can't help thinking it's a little weird to own a plush modeled after your friend's son.

>>42702831
I'm glad you like it. The Spike plushie was Jotun's idea, and too cute to ask him to change, not that I wanted him to change it, but I see what you mean.

I forgot I also got this recently, courtesy of Cold Blooded Twilight:
>>42703033
>>42703035

>>42693649
>"The air being thick with X" is another spammed structure, same for "the faint tang of X."
Wait, I use that.* Is AI stealing from me?!

*Usually "thick with ball musk" or "the faint tang of semen on her breath."

>>42703068
>Wait, I use that
To be fair, they use it a lot because their training data is full of it.
So your writing is just cliché, I guess.
It’s also why we used to get tons of “ministrations” or “the night is young” back when they trained on Ao3 and you were doing certain RP styles.

>>42703042
Truly, we have evolved beyond the confines of English. For all the furshit-masquerading-as-pony, Cock and Ball Twilight can still draw some cute mares.
>>42703068
Tang is good.

>>42703089
You just like passive women.

>>42703089
>Cock and Ball Twilight can still draw some cute mares.
Nah

>>42703132
>You just like...women.
Lies and slander.

I had a dream I read one of those "G5 Adventures in [kids movie]" fics and it got really good in chapter 2

>>42703313
Now that is the worst kind of autism.

>tfw the Anniversary has made me have a great desire to do early season crack pairing fics.

I wanna write Twi x Lyra for some reason

>>42703811
I will cave her skull in if she dares.

>>42702073
That really narrows it down

>>42703817
Very rude Anon

>>42704188
It would be rude of her to touch my wife too.

>>42704115
Just assume that it's a story about mares doing lesbian-curious things at the Ponyville Spa while the twins help, and accuse him of lying if it doesn't turn out to be that good old fashioned slop.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/417504/you-take-the-moon-and-you-take-the-sun
Cute, inoffensive Chowder crossover that doesn't take itself too seriously and just has some fun aping the show's humor. Was a nice little read, since the more serious-looking story I'd started on put me off once I realized I'd missed that it was actually a humanized setting, and at that point I was no longer in whatever mood I was in to read more unsettling stuff.

Thanks to whoever recommended that LunaMac story in the last thread.

>>42704843
Which one?

>>42704855
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/128786/7/dreams-of-flying/

>>42704912
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/128786/dreams-of-flying
Fixed your link, bro

>>42705046
I am not on top of things today. Thank you.

>>42704843
You're welcome. :)
I should really finish it and maybe do a review on it. I was enjoying the first couple of chapters.

>>42705046
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/500819/dreams-of-flying
Fixed your link again, bro

>>42705138
>do a review
Is the guy confirmed for dead? The site is still up.

>>42705325
After FiMFIction turned on the Cloudflare bot protections, his script stopped working, and I'm pretty sure he never put gathered up the motivation to integrate it with a Cloudflare challenge/captcha solver. He seems to be allergic to the tools that solve it easily.

At least he's not letting the domain lapse. It would be funny if, after Cloudflare killed it, it was saved by putting the site contents in Cloudflare Pages.

>>42705325
I am in fact only mostly dead. I mostly quit reading fanfiction since all my update-checking and archiving scripts broke, and most of the fics I was following were only updating rarely. I suppose I should try bugging someone about an API key again.

>>42705353
https://u.pone.rs/ygalapde.py
Patches welcome. Just make sure it doesn't blow up CPU/memory usage or add costs in excess of $0.30 per 1000 requests

>>42705431
Cloudflare and its consequences have been a disaster for the world wide web. You may be a good guy to question: I asked the Fimfarchive creator recently about adding some metadata to the index, the source link for cover art that has it in particular. He didn't disapprove of the idea, but apparently this isn't exposed by the Fimfiction API. Do you have any idea what would be best to do there? I could ask a staff member about it, but I don't expect anything to come of that. Scraping the website itself is apparently completely out of the question.

>>42705431
Why not scrape Foalfetch instead? There's no API, and it's not as up-to-date, but at least you wouldn't have to fight Cloudflare.

>>42705465
Unfortunately I think the answer is to bug staff about adding the cover source to whichever API fimfarchive is using (I know they were including v1 metadata last I checked, but they must have a v2 API key too, otherwise I'm not sure how they're still getting epubs without scraping)

>>42705483
Looks like it's currently a full 8 months out of date, which is pretty bad for my use cases. At that point I might as well just use the latest fimfarchive torrent (which I've actually considered doing, but it's missing some metadata IIRC)

>>42705431
Not a patch per se, but here you go: https://u.pone.rs/gzutpyfn.py
>Just make sure it doesn't blow up CPU/memory usage or add costs in excess of $0.30 per 1000 requests
I don't know what it costs to run FlareSolverr, but the whole point of Cloudflare's bot protection is to make passing the challenge cost CPU and memory by executing JS in a real browser. I show in the edit how to avoid overusing it, and you can benefit from saving and reusing the solution (cookies) it provides more aggressively.

>>42705637
forgot to put this in def fetch_when_cf_mad:
req = {
"cmd": "request.get",
"url": url,
"maxTimeout": 60000,
"cookies": {"view_mature", "true"}
}

but you get the idea.

October is almost over, Anon.
How's that story coming along?

>>42705995
Debating whether to release it now or if it'll get buried if I release it on Halloween

>>42704843
Aaand it got to herd shit. God dammit.

>>42706145
I will now read it

>>42706145
That's why you should finish reading something before you form an opinion on it.

>>42706780
Counterpoint: [Incomplete]

>>42705637
>NOTE: Web browsers consume a lot of memory. If you are running FlareSolverr on a machine with few RAM, do not make many requests at once. With each request a new browser is launched.
Doesn't sound promising

>>42706821
Yes, you shouldn't read Incomplete stories to begin with.

>>42706839
Data scientists aren't very good at optimization.

>>42706780
No, there are a handful of stories that made me drop them halfway through because they took odd turns.

>>42707032
Sounds like you were finished, though.

Anons, I come to you with what seems to be an impossible request.

Does anyone here have the audio book that /mlp/ recorded of the fic "Whats love got to do with it?" By Furstreak?
It was put on YouTube on a channel named "Fedorators". However, all traces of the fic and the recordings have been lost. I have searched the pony archive and only found one chapter at most. Desuarchive shows all evidence of the audio book being completed and uploaded to a now defunct filesharing website. In my infinite child wisdom when I first listened to it, I didn't think it would be deleted. I come here asking if any of you have possibly saved or heard what I'm talking about, but I fear that this may be lost forever. I will be forever grateful if any of you have any trace of this media.

>>42707032
Yeah, ones where the author couldn't decide if he wanted a slice of life fic or to write out his action edgy alicorn lore fic. It's amazing how many of them just seem totally unplanned.

>>42706904
Anyone born after 2000 isn't very good at optimization. Kids have it so easy these days.

>>42705995
I've got nine hundred and some words done for two different stories, one's a commission and one's for me; either one could work as my Nightmare Night story for this year. I've also got a backup I can post if all else fails. I've been waiting on the artwork for the first chapter of my Queen Chrysalis anthology to be completed for several months, and noticed Halloween would be a particularly good time for its release. I think the artwork will be done by then, but I'll post it the day before if I have my planned story finished in time.

As for today, I got the first five hundred words of a different commission done, and also finished my Flashfic entry for this month, so I'm feeling good right now. The writing never ends.

>>42706042
Just publish it across multiple chapters.

>>42709032
>Just publish it across multiple chapters.
But it's a one shot

>>42706839
It looks like the container peaks around 650MB loading a story page. If you add those sleeps back, you'll probably have to route even fewer requests through it.

By the way, the approved date parsing is unnecessarily masochistic. You can get the "data-time" attribute instead of the "title" attribute and convert it straight from epoch with datetime.fromtimestamp(). But, like, you also don't like pathlib, so....

>>42691571
thumbnail looks like Luna has nigger lips

>>42709042
Each scene a chapter. This isn't rocket science.

>>42709528
Ew.

Any fics that capture the same feel as picrel?

>>42709604
Empty Horizons, sorta

>>42709677
You came in here of your own volition, kid.

>>42709604
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/98913/the-frozen-north

>>42703811
The anniversary stream gave me a burning desire to write TwiJack that didn't exist before.

>>42711037
FiMC has that.

I'm very autistic so I think crossovers with things I like are cool.

I'm very degenerate so I think crossovers with things I like are hot.

I'll try anything if it's good.

>>42711149
What crossover is good?

>>42711335
It's still RaF
But I posted a review of Prey from earlier that applies if you like Prey

>>42706145
I decided to give it a further chance since it seemed to be a largely one off thing, but of fucking course it's got a cancelled sequel because the author had a baby.

>>42711650
>herdshit author
I suppose it's a fair bet the baby wasn't his.

>>42711822
Pretty sure the author was a women

>>42711840
Yeah, that kid's never gonna meet his father.

>>42711851
His father is big mac

>>42711865
I knew they had to be 'murican.

>>42711940
We eat at In N Out now, thank you. Mcdees is too expensive.

What'd be a good condition for alicorns to have conditional immortality
Like uh
Alicorns have conditional immortality but what IS the condition?

>>42713001
You could go the semi-deity route and say that they need the belief/love of their subjects to maintain their immortality.
Or a connection with whatever it is they represent (Celestia the sun, Luna the moon).
You can go for the funnies like that story that has Shining acquire immortality by proxy through fucking his wife.

>>42713032
>like that story that has Shining acquire immortality by proxy through fucking his wife.
The... flurry heart rape story?

Does anyone have the fic "Memories of Those Friends Who've Gone Before Us" by WTFHIW. I remember really loving it. I don't know why I can't find it on ao3's ponyfictionarchive port.

https://www.equestriadaily.com/2011/03/story-memories-of-those-friends-whove.html

>>42713168
No, there's one where Celestia fucks Twilight and turns her into an alicorn, and then a sequel where Cadance does the same to Shining Armor. Second one is called "How to Steal Centuries" IIRC

>>42713205
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/25064/how-to-steal-centuries

>>42713001
DoWaS is the easiest. The princesses don't die unless they're killed.
9DD is probably the best with its trisoul model, where their corporeal self "synchronizes" to their cosmic soul at the appointed time and while their corporeal form can be killed, they are reconstituted from their cosmic soul, having forgotten what happened since the last "synchronization."

There's also all kinds of transequinism. Granting immortality by stripping a god of its destiny and transferring it, getting starstuff shoved into you, becoming fused with the nature of reality itself...

And there's still necromancy, like lichhood.

>>42713001
they're immortal as long as they have no living offspring

>>42713329
So, Undertale rules.

>>42713424
yeah pretty much

>>42699326
>I’ve heard it’s a rather cringe experience in which everyone pretends to enjoy it.
Actual Nightclubs? Yes, that's how I felt the few times I went there.
Bookclubs? Idk. I never been in one.

>>42713264
Ew, futa.

>>42713001
Can't die unless they felt like they've lived a complete life.

>>42713322
>The princesses don't die unless they're killed.
I finally understand...

>>42713451
>princesses only age if they're happy
>Celestia has been alive for a very, VERY long time.

>>42713001
Ageless is the most common one. They can still be killed, but just won't die of natural causes. You could also do an athropamorphism angle where they're the physical manifestation of Equestria. So, if the country falters and begins to collapse, they grow sick and frail and if Equestria falls, they die. So long as Equestria's fine, so are the Princesses, no matter disease or injury.

There's also the classic, if perhaps a little cliche, "rock, paper, scissors" play where they are immune to everything but one specific weakness (element, spell, baked good, etc.) that can kill them.

>>42714193
We've established higher in the thread that this is suicide.

>>42714255
True. Better to become Luna's son and help her through her loneliness.

>>42714255
There's no tragedy in a life lived happily.

>>42714552
I didn't say tragedy, I said suicide.

>>42713450
Ooh, futa.

>>42714255
Just wait for the post-partum depression to hit and Equestria will have a few centuries of prosperity

fimfic bump to kill anni thread

>>42713196
Found it here, an archived link from 2013. Always check the web archive
https://web.archive.org/web/*/https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ohYNRmsShYGI7aaUlGRCafVN9yslMM4bAMKHCbmURwc/edit?hl=en&authkey=CLLN0usF

>>42714833
Ohh so that's why things improved after sunset shimmer left

>>42714552
There's always tragedy in death.

>>42715457
Lol. Lmao.

>>42715457
Not if they suck like Cozy Glow.

>>42716145
Nobody sucks like Cozy Glow.

>>42716438
Flurry does

>>42716507
Bro that's a six month old??

>>42716521
Out of ten!

>>42716521
Yeah, six whole months of training will Cadance's tits.

>>42713001
Go with the Mai Otome solution: immortal until semen.

>>42717001
Explain Celestia then

>>42717064
Celestia doesn’t let the semen get inside her. She just smears it over her coat. That’s why her coat is white.

>>42717342
It's pink.

>>42717353
It's magenta.

>>42717353
>>42717378
Only until the next time she sees one of her guards.

>>42715255
Thanks, Anon. I forget basic shit like this too much. It was as good as I remembered. Something about the feeling of pre-season 2 fics that can't be recaptured.

Oh, hey, a homewrecker Pie story.

>>42717526
Where?

>>42717685
The new column

>>42717685
Looks like he means https://www.fimfiction.net/story/583987/party-for-one

>>42717526
Canon, just like big tiddy Sunset shimmer.

Hard to say what big tits translates to for ponies.

>>42717885
Is it really that hard to figure out?

>>42717900
My boss just called me.
I got a raise.

>this fucking cover art
kek

Seeing the little flame telling me the story's hot made me realize I forgot to check my story's page when it was at the top of the featured box, which is a shame. That little flame was almost certainly there.

Has anypony read anything similar to will of the flesh?

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/576852/will-of-flesh

I was enjoying it but i get the feeling the author is gonna cancel it looking at his other stories.

Anything with abominations/ transformed into equestrians and being mothered by ponies (specialy flutershy)

>>42717900
>>42717885
Sunset's tits are fake though.

>>42718483
As is Sunset.

What is the fimfic equivalent of this?

>>42718989
Dunno why, but I imagine clop and isekai stories fighting each other while Pony Verbs a Noun stories hold it all together.

>>42718483
Doubt that, Celestia refused to get her the plastic surgery she wanted for her birthday and that's why she left

>>42719199
Yeah, to go get them in the human world.

>>42719269
She couldn't afford them there, that's why she turned evil.

>>42719280
Flash paid for them.

>>42719543
If musicians made good money they wouldn't be battering down my door asking for work like a bunch of desperate whores.

>>42719561
Athletes do make good money though.

>>42719583
Yeah, professionals, not high school athletes that get beaten out by lesbian tomboys.

>>42719585
Rainbow Dash is bisexual actually.

>>42719635
She won't be bisexual by the time she takes some good dick.

>>42719635
Who said I was talking about Rainbow Dash?

... So what are we reading for fsbc?

>>42719716
I did.

>>42719836
Didn't you people vote for the prequel to the fic you read already?

>>42719836
You voted for more Mono, so that's it.

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/584024/little-nightmare-night

Done did a new fic

What do you call this?

>>42720144
SOVL

>>42696340
>>42719836
Just to make it clear, the next fic will be the shameless prequel to Mono's fic, where Mono monoes monously for 50k words.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/388215/the-last-train-home

>>42720388
We are reading something horror-related for Halloween week, right?

>>42720422
Yes, ___.

>>42720388
>wings
>lesbianism
It's horrific already.

>>42720531
>read lesbian alicorn sequel by the lesbian alicorn writer
>look inside
>lesbian alicorns
For someone big into pregnancy you're really bad at knowing what to expect.

>>42720671
I'm not reading it, just saying.

>>42720531
>>42720671
And you're not even right, since the sequel is about unicorn Twilight.

>>42720734
Oh, I assumed the artwork was related. Well, that's nice, I guess.

Slow day today huh

>>42722025
I managed to get some writing done, actually. Almost a full scene.
Haven't done much reading, though.

>>42722025
I'm trying to catch up on /h/ without my erection growing large enough to be noticed.

It's now been a full year without Hailey Potter. Must be dead. At least the The Chrysalis Gambit finally updated again.

>>42723336
>It's now been a full year without Hailey Potter. Must be dead.
According to the author's blog, he's now over on AO3 writing nonpony crossovers, like one involving Harry Potter and "Villainess Level 99: I May Be the Hidden Boss but I'm Not the Demon Lord"

>>42723528
Anime titles are getting out of control

>>42722038
I meant more on the website.

>>42723683
On this board, maybe. But weekends are by a decent margin the fastest days on /a/.

>>42722687
Grubber's gonna be a great dad.

>reading HIE story
>Anon/other ponies talk about building a portal to send him back home
>immediately becomes unrealistic

>>42724245
Realistic HiE is he is immediately killed

>>42724249
Hell, yeah.
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/221492/the-mares-of-diomedes

>>42724267
Reading later

>>42723543
I'm looking forward to "Fanfiction Website Forum Ganbatte! Authors Whine About the Popularity of Fetish Slop but Don't Publish Anything Themselves: I Swear This Circlejerk is Straight!"

Fimfiction down?

>>42724592
Yes.

>>42705497
>Unfortunately I think the answer is to bug staff about adding the cover source to whichever API fimfarchive is using
I bugged them about it, and was told the update was their foremost concern right now.

>>42724592
It appeared to be down as I was writing this post, and I was going to ascribe it to the planned update, but I got it to load right before I finished.

>>42724612
It's not working for me right now.

>>42724612
What update?

>>42724619
The update that was supposed to be out months ago and then was delayed.

>>42690747 (OP)
What would it take to make /fimfic/ like an HiE/AiE fic? In before not having it be HiE/AiE.

Site's back. Our suffering will never end.

>>42724989
I've liked a few.

>>42724989
It just has to be good.
Note: Most HiE's fail at this task.

>>42724989
Make it not a clear self insert
Voltaire in Equestria = good
Your grandmother, who thinks she died and is in purgatory as punishment for not living Jesus enough = great
Dale from King of the Hill in Equestria = better than you'd expect
Travis, who likes cryptocurrency and wants to fuck Rarity = bad
Jeff, whose little sister likes the show but conveniently and subversively does not like the show (but is also conveniently aware of it) and introduces Twilight to the concept of cryptocurrency = bad in a different way

>>42724989
It's easy. I can write one right now.
>One day a green human woke up in the Everfree forest. "Shit," he said. "Last thing I know, I was getting hit by Truck-kun. I must have isekai'd. I hope this world isn't too fucked up."
>He wandered until he found his way out of the forest. There was a large tree with windows and a door. He knocked. A small horse with a yellow coat and a pink mane cracked open the door, screamed, and slammed it again.
>"Uh oh," he said. "The inhabitants of this world aren't human. And they don't seem to—"
>At that moment the door opened again, and a bear charged at him.
>"OH SHIT! SHIT SHIT SHIT—" he yelled as the bear's claws tore through his throat.
>Later, Fluttershy wondered aloud what to do with the green corpse. "I thought I knew most of the monsters in the Everfree. But I don't recognize this one."
>Harry the bear growled and whimpered.
>"No, I don't think you should eat him. You never know what'll happen with monsters from the Everfree. The safest thing to do is to burn it. Whatever it is, that should destroy it for good."

>>42711355
Prey by Kkat?

>>42725022
>Travis, who likes cryptocurrency and wants to fuck Rarity
Actually, this could work as a comedy short story (short so it would not wear its welcome). You just have to make the ponies act how they might realistically, i.e. spurning the advances of the weird monkey thing.

>>42725089
>everytime the narration says his name it's never just "Travis" it's always "Travis, who likes cryptocurrency and wants to fuck Rarity"

>>42725099
Rarity isn't even in the fic.

>>42725150
Like any MBA techbro towards a moderately successful small business owner he tried to convince her to "grow her audience" and was unable to understand why she didn't want to make as much money as possible, so she punched him in the throat and kicked him out of her shop.

>>42725099
"Ah don't know, Twilight. This all sounds a lil' hogwashy to me. Whadda you think, Travis?"

Travis, who likes cryptocurrency and wants to fuck Rarity, scratched his goatee as he turned the situation over in his head. On the one hand, a direct approach is simplest. Simple is good when it comes to ponies. On the other hand, some proper strategy may give them the edge they need.

Travis, who likes cryptocurrency and wants to fuck Rarity, took a readying breath and decided to let his words figure it out as he spoke them.

"The best thing for this would be to, um, compromise."

"Compromise?!" Rainbow Dash balked. "Compromise my tailfeathers! Those bucking-"

"Not with them," Travis, who likes cryptocurrency and wants to fuck Rarity, interrupted. "With us. Let's..." Travis, who likes cryptocurrency and wants to fuck Rarity, brought two hands with spread fingers together in an interlocking sort of gesture. "Put the two together. Two of us go at them head-on, the other two flank them."

"The buffalo method..." Twilight muttered as the three ponies considered Travis' - who likes cryptocurrency and wants to fuck Rarity - proposal.

>>42725191
It works better than I expected honestly. Just becomes funnier the more you run it into the ground.

>>42725022
What about the one where Celestia goes to earth and gets rich trading bitcoin

>>42725040
Yes, not the one where Applejack wakes up on a space station with a wrench and missing memories.

>>42725546
That's PiE, completely different.

>>42724989
If we're using the common definition of HiE, a fic where a human is transported to Equestria and must live there for an extended period of time, then it's very hard to write a "good" HiE fic since wish fulfillment is almost baked into the premise and stories that try to avoid the wish fulfillment issue tend to go to the opposite extreme and make the setting dark or miserable, which also isn't enjoyable to read. You have to walk a very fine line with the human OC to succeed and it's hard enough making a good pony OC. COPE nearly pulls it off by attaching a neutral first contact plot to the premise, but ends up slipping into wish fulfillment and also has the conlang autism that hurts it, but that's not really HiE's fault.

Having a real deadline of some sort is so fucking nice. It's way too easy to leave a story behind for a long time without anything forcing you to write. A commission's better than any other kind of deadline, because you can just drop something in which you wanted to participate, but you can't drop a commission without being a lazy asshole, or even a thief.

It's just nice having a force whispering in your ear.
>No, you won't agonize over this phrasing or setup.
>You will get something done today.
>Put the fucking words in the fucking file.

I'm a newfag and wanna share thoughts on what i got through already
I have finished reading two fanfics in total so far, those being "Hope Shines Eternal" and "Drained" both by Eternal Warmth. First one was time travel sad bait with not so many interesting ideas
"Drained" is an even more pointless oneshot. Kinda pissed off about having wasted time on reading these
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/573811/hope-shines-eternal
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/582133/drained

Right now i am reading through "Changes." By Heaviside_
This one's a lot better, with more diverse tone, if that's a sentence. The concept is much more original and has more potential.
Though it still has flaws like mainstream references with little to no subtlety and repetitive dialogue.
>It was weird, scary, but also... Interesting? Intriguing?
And this exact sentence structure is seen in every second dialogue Scootaloo is in.
Also it's really confusing why Scootaloo is so obsessed with why poison joke changed her into a changeling. Like there's supposed to be another reason besides Poison Joke targeting her adaptability. I'm on interlude one, so maybe i'll understand more later

>>42725828
Is that your way of saying you won't participate in the conspiracy anthology?

>>42725951
Nah, I'm still planning to participate. There's about a month left, right?

>>42725955
Just under.
Deadline is on the 22nd.

>>42725931
Also the constant replacement of "fuck" to "buck". It's like replacing "fuck" to "frick", but 10 times more unbearable
Ok if kids and teens say that around adults, but why does Rainbow has to say it in the company of just Twilight?

>>42725961
Because she sees Twilight as a mother figure.

>>42725960
Yeah, that's what I remembered. I've got to work on that, and also think of what the fuck I can contribute to the next Fun Size art pack.

>>42725989
>Shining Armour already has a footlong
>Wants to make it even bigger
Does this stallion's greed know no bounds?

>>42725993
Of course not. He's having sex with every alicorn after all.

>>42725989
Tiny cock lets stallion fuck heavily pregnant mare without harming the unborn child

>>42725999
Fuck, I always ignore that bit of equine trivia, so it never occurred to me how it would make for the perfect focus here. Despite letting the due date for submissions gestate in the back of my mind for months, I couldn't think of anything nearly that good. I'll gladly use your idea. Thank you very much, Anonymous.