Thread 2843577

The thing I was afraid the most happened today. I had to take a shit in the forest. Holy fuck. I got explosive diarrhea 6 miles into a 12 mile hike, and I didn't have any toilet paper, I had to use all my water to clean my ass, prior to this I had never pooped in the forest, I was legitimately shaking from the anxiety. It was watery diarrhea so it was easy to wash away with all my water but fuck, I had to use my underwear to make sure my butt was dry afterwards then I had to throw it away. I had to walk the rest of the hike without water and smelling like shit because when I was washing my ass some water kept dripping down my legs, fuck my life, it was so awkward, but not as bad as I thought, I feel like I could actually do it just fine next time if I was prepared. Getting off trail was the scarier part, I came across this big ass spider that looked like a black widow, but I was in such rush I just smashed it with my trekking pole and kept looking for a spot to poop.

>>2843577 (OP)
uh oh, stinky!

>>2843577 (OP)
baby wipes
fairly compact and easy to pack, there's some biodegradable ones so you don't feel bad throwing them in the wild
as a matter of fact you should always have some even in your house for various reasons
pack a small bottle of water/soap mix too with it and you're good

>>2843577 (OP)
damp moss, it works great for messy poos

>>2843577 (OP)
Sphagnum moss is the absolute best for wiping a poopy butt innawoods

>>2843577 (OP)
What the fuck are you eating that makes you as an adult not be able to hold in your shit for a few hours if needed?

>>2843592
You've never, since the age of 18, suddenly had to shit so bad you couldn't hold it for 6 miles of walking?

>>2843577 (OP)
Are you autistic?

>>2843577 (OP)
Some people do this every day as their regular routine and don't have a problem with it.

Since this is the fecal thread, let me vent:
>be me camping at a campground with vault toilets
>just a 15 foot pit in the ground with a structure built over it
>pit is full of piss, shit, toilet paper, tampons, floating in mostly liquid
>wake up the first morning and go to pinch a loaf
>get Poseidon's kiss up from 15 fucking feet
>wipe off with dry toilet paper as best i can
>go back to campsite and tell bro about it and he tells me he saw a bunch of syringes floating down in there
>there's some type 1 diabetic injecting insulin and chucking the needles down in the toilet
>decide to go home and shower

>>2843577 (OP)
You're luckily there's wasn't a mole nearby, the second they sense a dark stinky hole they run right into it and dig deep

>>2843577 (OP)
>and I didn't have any toilet paper
amateur

>>2843577 (OP)
>and I didn't have any toilet paper
Retard.
I have at least 1/4th of a roll inside a ziplock in all my packs, including my lumbar packs.
Have never needed it, thankfully, but it's there.

>>2843577 (OP)
>No toilet paper
A mistake everyone usually only makes once. Having to clean your ass with dirt with pine needles in it makes a lasting impression.

>>2843577 (OP)
>I got explosive diarrhea
My suggestion is don't be an American
>I didn't have any toilet paper
Skill issue.

>>2843577 (OP)
Just find some leaves to wipe with. I've shit in the woods in Arizona and there's always some soft debris to wipe with

>>2843577 (OP)
And I’m proud to be an American…!

>>2843577 (OP)
>I didn't have any toilet paper,
Have you ever been /out before?

Whenever I see these threads I have a sneaky suspicion that OP is just a scat fetishist who's tricked us into talking about his feces. The fact OP left on a 12 mile hike w/o shitpaper and the fact he needed all his water to wash his ass are large signs my suspicions are correct.

>>2843604
Imagine not just shitting in a hole in the woods. You couldn't pay me to use one of those campground toilets.

>>2843593
dude i developed ibs like half way through high school.
I literallt cannot differentiate between a shit and a fart and shit my pants at least 4 times a year.

Went hiking with some friends and our token Bengali exchange student. When one of guys had to take a dump without any resources, said Bengali suggested to use the waterway to wash bro’s back door, and then use soil to wash his hands off.
To think the biggest take home I learned from him was about poop

>>2843743
Don't shit in the water...of course the fucking subcontinental told you to get shit in the water...

>>2843577 (OP)
when i was 17 i shit y pants after a morning hike at summer camp

>>2843593
not that anon, but no, i haven't. literally never happened to me. seriously, this has to be indicative of some dietary or gut health issue on your part.

>>2843744
Your reading comprehension is severely lacking.

>>2843828
Do Europeans really never have diahreaa a decade or is this guy lying?

Daily reminder that the actual idea of something less potent than the regular flu encouraged 80 percent of the USA population to take an experimental shot.

>>2843863
I live in Canada and haven't had diarrhea in over 10 years. Americans have somehow normalized bowel problems.

>>2843863
>something less potent than the regular flu
Having to prove your point tells us even you don't believe your point.

>>2843863
>As of March 2023, the COVID-19 vaccination tracker by The New York Times reported that 70% of Europe's population had received a vaccine.

A statistic skewed by some countries with MUCH lower rates (Bulgaria, 35%) and some with much higher (Ireland, 94%).

So what exactly is your point here, smart guy?

>>2843866
COVID was about as deadly as the flu. If you got an experimental mRNA shot for if you are retarded. If you forced children to get an expiremenal mRNA shot for a disease they couldn't even be effected by you are evil.

>>2843873
>COVID was about as deadly as the flu.
>experimental mRNA shot
Lies you keep telling yourself.

>>2843876
Both of those are literally factual statements

>>2843665
I don't bring toilet paper with me. I use any nearby creek or stream if have to go and can't make it to the car.

>>2843876
Cite your sources then.

>>2843862
>Bengali suggested to use the waterway to wash bro’s back door

>>2843744
Nobody’s shitting in the water he was talking about getting your hand wet

>>2843639
>>2843631
>>2843626
must be an american thing to shit in places outside your home

>>2843947
>must be an american thing to shit in places outside your home
Must be an american thing to assume everyone is american...oh, wait...

>>2843878
>don't bring toilet paper with me
you should. what if you have explosive diarrhea while your hiking. it doesnt wiegh much lol.

>>2843577 (OP)
>Times you pooped outside
>>2842491

>>2844023
It's almost like frog posting tourists ruined 4chan.

>>2843577 (OP)
In the future if you can find thick pads of moss those work really well. They hold together well, are soft and have a lot of surface area.

>>2843723
Based

>>2843863
I am that anon and I have never had either diarrhea or constipation or any such issues, nor have I heard anyone mention it except in the context of legit food poisoning or severe sickness. It's just not a thing that happens unless you're fucked up already. I think there really is something wrong with your water or with what they're feeding you with how normalized it seems to be over there. I was pressured into taking the shot (and I think most people where I live took it) but I never noticed any kind of difference in my health. I'm sure some did have side effects, but I don't think it matters for this topic.

>>2843863
>Do Europeans really never have diahreaa a decade or is this guy lying?
Outside of being sick? Never had it.
And usually when I'm sick I know by the morning, not mid hike. Although it could be technically possible to become sick mid multi-day hikes.

Captcha: 2000W
It's how bright your ass lights up when you have the american shits.

>>2843577 (OP)
here you go champ

>>2843577 (OP)
I had to poop in the forest once but I just used leaves to clean my ass.

>>2843585
This.
Dig a small hole afterwards to bury the used ones.
I know someone that carries a literal dishwashing sponge for poo-mergencies