Thread 4443257

What three pieces of advice would you give a photographer who wants to take bad photos?

buy m43
take pictures of your dog or trannies
do NOT use professional lighting equipment, your m43 should be underexposed

do as thou wilt

Buy a full frame sony and leave it on auto mode
Only use the kit zoom because every lens is sharp
Shoot jpeg
Use flash all the time because /p/ told you flash makes photos real art
Buy strobes and tiny softboxes because they will totally make your photos look better
Never take a photo of a dog or a cat, only fat women

>>4443257 (OP)
Strictly follow photography rules, buy the most expensive prime in the market and only use it's maximum aperture, oversaturate your edits, make sure you use HDR as much as possible and always take pictures with the 2s timer on.

buy the cheapest camera you can afford

Buy the most overpriced camera you can't afford

>>4443344
Why is this goblina relentlessly posted on every thread in this website? And what a terrible waste of good digits.

the gear doesn't matter. Be like that schizo from a couple years ago that took a bunch of smeary dim pictures of dead branches

>>4443257 (OP)
Dont do it

>>4443344
This image should be a bannable offence at this point

Buy a snoy
Post on here
Buy some youtuber presets

>>4443304
how to be a shitty uncle terry, the post

>>4443304
op said 3 not 6 try again

Exclusively use wide angle lenses and shoot them either wide open or stopped down past F16

>>4443349
It's this one schizophrenic indian guy who HATES sony

>>4443746
kek I’m gonna try this

shoot sony, use vintage lenses, miss focus, ignore composition and don't edit anything.

>>4443257 (OP)
use a cheap SLR-era zoom
shoot on a 15 year old entry level dslr with no dynamic range
shoot exclusively in harsh mid day sun

>>4443257 (OP)
1. photograph trees and lamp posts
2. make sure all the photos are out of focus

>>4443257 (OP)
shoot sony
shoot sony
shoot sony

>>4444322
>asymmetrical vignetting
The adapter isn't straight.

>>4444323
looks pretty symmetrical to me, it just has the illusion of being stronger on the left because vignetting is always more visible against the sky.

oh and the fucking green AWB lmfao
this kills the sn0yfag

>>4444328
Why is everything that "kills snoy" a 1 off mistake or purposeful lie that only exists on one obscure website? Sony still has #1 ff market share lol. Sony hate basically doesn't exist outside of /p/, mu-43, and maybe 3 hipster filmfag vlogs.

>>4444330
let's see some pictures then, buster

>sonyfag disappears without a trace
like pottery

>>4444322
So this is the power of Sony

>>4444337
I can't post because I have nothing disposable to post except pics of my farm and dog, and no one can know who I am in /rpt/

>>4443436
>try again
Ok

1- listen to 9 pieces of advice, not 6.
2- >>4443436 is a fag
3- do this >>4443304

>>4444366
Dont you blame the sony bullshit on me, you obsessed freak. Everyone knows I only shill Sinar: the discerning photographers professional camera system.

>>4444387
And Nikon

I bet you shill micro four thirds while wearing panties

>>4444431
don't we all?

>>4444431
Only retard, schizos, and retarded schizos think I'm also huskyfag. He sucks at egg based photography.
The only nikon I own is an F3. Pretty fun camera, but I prefer the canon 1v. 35mm is the snapshitting format so I take the ultimate snapshitting rig if I'm using it, or my t3 lol.

Cope however you like, but please remember that you are just providing me with hilarious entertainment.

>>4443257 (OP)
never look and study the photos of great photographers
never develop a philosophy through which you view the world
keep sniffing your own farts and keep taking trillion photos without ever thinking or ever working in limited projects and then act as if you're doing world a favor by posting photos

>>4443257 (OP)
Copy every viral picture you see on instagram
Shake uncontrollably every time you do street
Only take ethical photographs
Only take pictures of peoples backs
Tell people you make "stories", not images
Take pictures of old people with a portrait lens
Use any focal length other than 28/35mm
Pretend what you're doing is profound and subversive even though you're just walking around outside
Have zero original thoughts
Never push yourself outside your comfort zone
Blame every failure on your gear and never your lack of learned skill or natural talent
Post on /p/

>>4443257 (OP)
Gear: the finest camera body avaiable, a $€£ 30 manual vintage lens and chinkexpress adapter.
Shoot: cats, weed at home, backs of random people at street, manhole covers, utility poles, transformer stations, graffiti, winos and when you tire of urbanity, pigeons, squirrels and narrow focus landscapes at park.
Edit: high contrast B&W + fake film grain, HDR or max clarity.

>>4444387
I shill Cynar, myself. I like larping as an Italian when I go to the beach.

>>4444919
Imagine the swiss made Sinar combined with the italian made Cynar at the beach. I love sand in my geared monorail camera.

>>4443257 (OP)
>What three pieces of advice would you give a photographer who wants to take bad photos?
Shoot Fuji, don't learn how exposure and perspective work, shoot banal things at 28mm equivalent in 4:3 aspect ratio from eye level.

>>4444922
Funny juxtaposition, almost like a bottle of J&B and a record player in a beach house.

Art is subjective.
Spend most of your budget on fast prime lenses or a 24-70f2.8.
You can always fix bad lighting in post.

>>4445073
>You can always fix bad lighting in post.
this is the worst post I have ever seen on this board

>>4445073
tell us your objective rules of art

>>4445731
Objectively good: my photos
Objectively bad: you're photos

>>4445074
What's the best one, then?

>>4443257 (OP)
Buy a large format film camera.
Stop traveling with a camera. Only shoot at home. Who need new experiences when you can force art into existence through raw creativity?
Bring up the size of your film at every opportunity.

>>4443257 (OP)
1. be sure an smash ur cam with hamur
2. reverse all ur photo scans at randum
3. when in doubt, beat harder, just like sex

>>4446554
Not muh heckin' studiooooz.