>>508449286Born and raised in Bootheel, Missouri. I’m a third-generation diesel tech. Drive a Duramax with Punisher decals and a tailgate mural of Jesus body-slamming Karl Marx. Voted Trump like it was a baptism.
So I don’t know what possessed me to order that RGB LED anime mousepad with built-in wrist rest and looping GIF of Hatsune Miku winkin’. Looked slick. Said it’d “elevate my battlestation.”
Base price: $26.99
Tariff punch: $74.60 for “foreign synthetic novelty textile duty” under some clause I literally celebrated on Facebook in 2018.
Unplugged it right after checkin’ my bank account and seein’ what a dozen eggs cost. $6.82. For eggs. In Missouri. I ate ramen and cried into my RGB shame mat.