>be me
>astronomer and data scientist at INPE (Brazil’s space research institute)
>working late on orbital models
>assigned to collaborate with ALMA and some ESA deep space tracking data
>get access to internal astronomy data feeds
just routine cross-checking storage logs
>notice unusually large data packet dumps from high-res telescope arrays
>timestamped to recent tracking of asteroid 99942 Apophis
>wtf.jpg
>most data red-flagged as “Do Not Distribute”
>Download a local backup because I’m not a good boy
>data suggests orbit deviation not aligning with public NASA projections
>panic mode
>check calculations
>Apophis is on direct collision course with Earth
impact window: April 13, 2029
>4 years away
>simulations show oceanic impact with extinction-level tsunami potential
> governments already know
classified communications with “Project Hades” header
literally trying to suppress it to avoid panic
>even fake press releases planned for “near miss” narrative
>pack shit and leave observatory next day
>try to talk to coworker
>“You want to disappear, amigo?”
>he’s in on it
>go full Snowden
>try to post about it on Twitter, Reddit, X
>posts vanish within minutes
>get flagged
>I’m now posting from a burner laptop
>tfw no one believes me
>tfw the sky looks a little closer every night
>tfw Earth has 4 years left and no one cares

>>508749585 (OP)
Fucking finally, bro! Bora tomar uma gelada?

I believe you monkey bro

>>508749585 (OP)
>impact window: April 13, 2029
Guess I won’t be paying taxes for 2028

>>508749585 (OP)
K.
When are we going to remove all the indians from America?
Talking about the "legal" jeets.
When do they get sent packing?

>>508749585 (OP)
Big rock if true.

DONT WANNA CLOSE MY EYES
DONT WANNA FALL ASLEEP
CUZ ID MISS U BABY
AND I DONT WANNA MISS A THIIIING

>>508749585 (OP)
let me know in 3 years and 50 weeks if this is legit so i can prepare properly

>>508749904
Fuck I hated that movie. Yet somehow Space Cowboys managed to be even worse.

>>508749585 (OP)
K... Keep me posted

>>508749585 (OP)
Nice LARP, nigger. Not even as good as some others. Absolute garbage, didn't even hook me up, had to skip everything in the middle.

>>508749721
É o que tem pra hoje

nice, let's hope I get disappeared too by the glowies, for knowing this now
Don't want to have to wait 4 more years

>>508749585 (OP)
Good, fuck this gay Earth. Any way to speed up its arrival?

>>508749585 (OP)
>Download a local backup because I’m not a good boy
Drop a mega or catbox immediately or you're just another nigger

>>508749971
Fuck I forgot about space cowboys

>>508750072
Saúde!

>>508749585 (OP)
meu deus

>>508749585 (OP)
Stop smoking that cheap shit you Favala ap3

>>508750182
Will do

I hope I don't die a virgin

>>508749585 (OP)
>tfw no one believes me
I believe you, fren. Thanks for info.

>>508749585 (OP)
Your boy is coming back to finally fuck the Tauri?

>>508750159
Imagine if they shoot nukes at its path to slow it down and break it up but the pajeets they got on Fiverr to do the calculations made a mistake and the nukes go off behind it and propel it toward earth?

>>508749585 (OP)
>>508749904
The Jews really do hide their esoteric knowledge in plain sight. There’s that Leonardo DiCaprio and Jennifer Lawrence movie as well.

>>508749585 (OP)
Thank you for the info Anon. Please tell us, which ocean? Where is projected impact?

Thank you and Godspeed.

>>508749585 (OP)
>99942 Apophis

>What is WIKILEAKS?
>What is wikileaks link?

Dump the orbital data and solution tits or GTFO

Hmm ok so did you read that other post and riff off it
Information like this would be difficult to keep under wraps
There would be more than 2 people
You can’t have too many people disappear or accident out without it being obvious
You aren’t already a person that doesn’t exist or has a fake background with legitimate looking dox

Too far fetched in both cases and what is anyone supposed to do

>>508749585 (OP)
Is there any hope for floridaman?

Oh lawd, just checked, April 13th 2029 is a Friday. Hmm Apophis is 450m x 170m , is that big enough to wipe us all out?

>>508750590
Yeah apophis is code for a giant alien space force on their way to harvest us for meat or enslave us

>jews and niggers and muslims and jeets all die
>only mountain chads and mountain jews remain
based

we can just finish off the Swiss afterwards

So... I know this may be petty but... if Apophis does decide to make fun crustal splashy times, do you think a cute girl would take pity on me and agree to date me just before it hits?

>>508749585 (OP)
I don't care what a Brazilian has to say about science. Unless you're white or East Asian, I really don't care.

>>508750659
North Atlantic, close to Morocco.

>>508750487

even normie sites are saying it's gonna pass 20,000 miles from earth..

>>508749585 (OP)
how did you generate the pic?

>he didn’t upload it all encrypted and on multiple hosts in multiple countries and drop the links and the key in the OP
>better yet he didn’t create a deadman switch
>he didn’t create decoys to waste their time
I like these attempts someday someone is going to drop some great fiction on everyone here and catch all with the LARP
That cicadia shit was funny even saw a USB in a random wall in the city with a stencil graffiti of the image
That’s extra work and doing the extra mile
>lul they thought I would plug anything into it
yeah no.

>>508751163
My first guess is MSPAINT, second MATLAB, third photoshop, fourth gimp

>>508749585 (OP)
I'm sure some faggots will figure out a way to destroy it at the last second. An impact like you're describing would wipe out the jews, and the jews can never be wiped out. It's a law of physics. There must always be suffering, therefore there must always be jews. It's impossible for them to go extinct.

>>508749585 (OP)
Are you reading it right?

10^4 km at .001 P value or, 0.1%?
10^5 km at at .01 P value or, 1%?

I mean it's pretty close but nothing to be alarmed about.

>>508751084
>he was only pretending to be retarded

>>508751163
With funny numbers.
This is a probabilistic impact assessment graph.
The X-axis shows uncertainty in the orbital path (ξ) in kilometers, which usually reflects the standard deviation in the along-track direction (how far the asteroid could be from its predicted position).

>>508749585 (OP)
>Brazil’s space research institute)
Migh as well be India's sanitation institute lmao

Honestly, I hope you're not lying and it does hit. The normies need to be scared into supporting space endeavors.
The "extinction-level tsunami" thing is nonsense though. It'll be bad, but nowhere near that bad.

>>508749585 (OP)
I don't wanna wait four years RRRRREEEEEEE

>>508751649
Oh I misread the X axis as minimum distance.

>>508751615
20,000 miles is pretty fucking close.

>>508749585 (OP)
Fake and gay. You do realize that if Aphopis does hit it's not gonna be extinction level right?
Worst case scenario some favela monkeys like you from other countries who live on the coast would get killed by tsunamis that's all.

>>508751887
Yeh, it's like nothing in space terms, slightest gravity nudge and that's a direct hit.

>>508751664
It's not even gonna be that bad. A bunch of third worlders who fail to evacuate are gonna die. That's all.

>>508751894
I'm praying it smacks Israel, I'd take that if I can't get an ELE..

>>508751986
Oh No! A direct hit from a tiny asteroid with <1% of hitting your country let alone your city. Shieeeeeee we're cooked brah fr fr nocap

>>508749585 (OP)
Your a real astronomer? I'm a Scorpio. What can you tell me about myself, op? Let me know if you need my exact birth date or anything else.

>>508752100
It needs to hit Tel Aviv directly to do any damage. The chances of this happening are basically 0.

>>508750985
Bullshit LARP.
There's no way to pinpoint impact down to that kind of certainty.

>>508752178
Oh I'm sure an asteroid of that size is more than adequate to turn Israel into a smoking ruin. It just needs the right nudge.

>>508750487
Been half an hour, you are Just Another Nigger

>>508752247
The fact that he said extinction level tsunami wasn't already a dead giveaway?

>>508750431
Jeb!

Look through the archives there’s an identical type thing with just the location of the observatory changed
So it’s lazy fiction most likely

There’s a huehue shill on here I am too bored to bust out the tools but I wonder if it’s him, a bit

>>508749585 (OP)
Wormwood will strike, run to the mountains

>>508752694
And the great men will seek refuge in the earth and find no solace.

Any way to redirect the asteroid to (((them)))?

'Le hecking meteor is coming' is the second most boring seasonal slide. Only 'le hecking aliens ayy lmao' is worst. At least the micronova/carrington event/solar flare has some mild entertaining shitposters and the super earthquake is a real possibility. But they are all extremely fake and gay

>>508749585 (OP)
> extinction-level tsunami potential
lmao this rock is a nothingburger level size

>>508749585 (OP)
Yea I watched Deep Impact too, good movie.

>>508749585 (OP)
I forget the term, but you know when the government knows something bad is about to happen so they release movies and shows about the event beforehand in preparation to desensitize the public?

Yeah that explains the random fuck ass meteor movie that released not long ago

>>508753328
Yeah, it's called "Predictive programming".

>>508753047
Yeh, a tiddler, only big enough to wipe out an area the size of Texas.

>>508753328
You know this asteroid is basically a nothing burger size right? The only way it impacts your life at all is if it hits your country directly and worst case you'll have no electricity/internet for a while

>>508753006
Kiwi posts are always just negative piles of sheep shit
What is wrong with you down there I think ya dun gone all islander kooky like them big ol moweeee boys
Son move to Ausfailia and fuck some sideways chinky pussy or something lighten up

Everyone of English descent is a depresso just have a smile and a coke and stfu

So this seems like a nothingburger post and if OP doesn't deliver then we can assume feds found him and killed him for posting cringe rather than leaking top secrets. Here are some links to check shit yourselves or launch your own asteroid (or you can ask chatGPT I guess).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/99942_Apophis#Possible_impact_effects
https://neal.fun/asteroid-launcher/
https://www.purdue.edu/impactearth/

It all depends on how how fast it's moving, what it's made of, where it hits and what angle it hits but what made me stop was that in the unlikely event that OP is correct (and he isn't because nothing ever happens) then the authorities would censor/muddle the information anyway so whats the point. Maybe when it's closer amateur astronomers can see it an calculate themselves but I don't know anything about that shit. It'll give Thunderf00t something useful to do instead of crashing out about Trump or Elon or whoever the fuck idc I unsubscribed years ago.

>>508751894
Considering how much of humanity lives near the coast assuming this is real I wonder if they’re going to build huge temporary shelters super inland to get people away from the cities.

I mean 4 years warning if it just creates tsunamis there’s really no reason the majority of earth shouldn’t be able to survive this if everyone put in just a tiny effort. There would be a mass exodus of people shipping their stuff, people in Colorado, Chicago, etc where they’re far enough inland will be building large encampments that are temporary. It would be interesting to see. And if it just hits the ocean then the amount of dust being launched into the atmosphere would be minimal so even that wouldn’t be a factor

>>508753395
Yeah that’s the word I’m looking for!

Cool. Thanks. Believe you.

iOS filename

>>508753736
>Thunderf00t something useful to do instead of crashing out about Trump or Elon or whoever the fuck idc I unsubscribed years ago.
kek, same

>>508753560
Rolling for it hits wall street.

>>508753755
Meh if anything they'll use this event to raise prices worldwide AGAIN.
Like they did with covid, Ukraine war etc. Every time something happens prices go up.

>>508753956
Rolling for Israel..

>>508749585 (OP)
>>simulations show oceanic impact with extinction-level tsunami potential

Aphopis is 185 meters in diameter, it is going to shatter against the atmosphere and detonate in the stratosphere like the chelyabinsk meteor. At 185 m its far too small to generate even a small tsunami.

>>508754041
Oh 100%. They’ll be raising the prices on basically all grocery goods despite the fact they’re all inland enough to not be affected by it. It’s fucking BULLSHIT

>>508752817
praising kek
rolling

>>508753929
What you don’t want to hear a 300th video on solar fucking roadways?

>>508754114
Depends very much on what it's made off, angle of attack etc. Meteor crater was made with a meteorite of about 50m diameter.

>>508749585 (OP)
Nice image, I wonder where I've seen it before: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torino_scale#Risk_calculation

If you weren't retarded, you would have picked an object listed here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potentially_hazardous_object#Largest_PHAs

>>508754479
In Arizona*

>>508749585 (OP)
Old news, nigger. Get better bait

>>508752799
Vault Tec Calling!

>>508754214
If it doesn't hit Israel I'd rather it not hit at all lmao. I don't care if some gooks die cause they failed to evacuate like always, groceries are already expensive

Lol this was a good laugh before I go night night a story of a monkey working for a monkey nasal program and finds data about how earth has 4 years to live before a comet hits the earth and makes it explode lol littery hehawing over this humor lol a Brazilian scientist lol holly shit who comes up with this stuff lol thanks op

>>508751844
Holy shit imagine living another 4 years in this godforsaken nightmare like goddamn nigga just kill me now

>>508749585 (OP)
I'll throw you from Itaipú you fucking larper

>>508750985
You're a fucking liar, it's impossible to get this kind of confidence that far out. We couldn't even guess accurately where the recent Russian garbage can would land. Besides that it is easily possible for us to intercept any kind of real threat even with just weeks or days notice by just nuking the thing. I will attempt to find the research site that covers this extensively unlike this parasite claiming he'll drop his docs
And to counter this fucking LATAM monkey, I worked at an American astronomical observatory and Los Alamos. Existential rocks from space dont exist

>>508749585 (OP)
> April 13th, 2029
Nice. That's my birthday

>>508749585 (OP)
OP might be right. the closest approach is in 2029, with an uncertainty window of only a few km. it will be the closest pass of an asteroid that has ever been recorded.

it isn't large enough to be a global killer but it would easily take out a city

>>508749585 (OP)
I would have believed it but not for apophis. There would also be several leaks and double the amount of cover up attempt.

>>508754862
https://www.deepspace.ucsb.edu/projects/pi-terminal-planetary-defense

There, I found it.

>100m diam (~100 Mt >> Tunguska) can be mitigated with 1 day intercept
>350m diam (~Apophis) (~ 4 Gt ½ Earth nuclear arsenal) can be mitigated with 10 day intercept

They're just rocks. Good night

>>508749585 (OP)
>Be a retard at an observatory
>Accidentally find documents from training collision run
>Freak out and publicly post

This you?

>>508749857
You'd need to stop it in Canada too or they'll just sneak down

>>508755479
The largest optical telescope the huehues have is 1.6m and a meme radio telescope. If the flag was Chilean I'd take it seriously but this is a massive larp.
Seasoning before bed

>>508750087
Me too brother

>>508749585 (OP)
>be me
opinion discarded

>>508749585 (OP)
Thread has been up for almost an hour and no shock OP did not deliver

>>508749971
Deep impact was decent

>>508751351
It is know that the original cicada was an actual recruiting op with a lot of larping ripples after it ended. Are you spooked yet?

>>508749585 (OP)
Thank fuck I can't wait for it to be over!!

>>508749585 (OP)
Astronomer here....An asteroid the size of Apophis is not an extinction level event.

If it were to hit it would be somewhere from Antartica to Siberia, roughly with India somewhere in the crossairs. Depending on the pull of several other objects. This is the worst case, less than 1% . It all likelyhood it will graze the planet

But lets hypothesize and pretend it hits somewhere in India. The damage would not be felt anywhere in the new world except for atmospheric occlusion, which may cause crop failure but certainly not extinction

However to India, Pakistan, Nepal and anyone in that area, yeah it would be pretty rough. An area the size of Conneticut would get scortched. And an even bigger area the size of texas would be devestated.

>>508754999
Can’t wait for you to be born! Exciting!

>>508750800
Not at all

But WN5 in June 2028 is 1km diameter

>>508754054
Rolling for India

>>508756635
it actually is modelled to most likely do that if its tugged a little more by the sun. If its going to hit it will strike along a narrow corridor that takes it across india

>>508756258
Knock yourself out https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.3847/PSJ/ac66eb

I was wondering when pol was gonna start with this....google 2029....go to images or utube search....same thing.....they want you thinking about it

>>508749585 (OP)
>2^2 more years

>>508750487
Still waiting

>>508749585 (OP)

> Here's my LARP. Please give me attention.

No. That also goes for when you dress up like a woman.

>>508749585 (OP)
Inyalowda deserve worse den dis. Sabez?

>>508749971
god that was so fucking bad

If it can't be stopped then why does it matter?

>>508750505
I will fuck you anon. I have a nine inch bussy destroyer.

>>508757380
It gives me time to build my blimp.

>>508750906
You will never know until you ask one. Get brave, Anon! You can do it! The worse that can happen is she says no. But! She will probably say yes.

>>508749585 (OP)
Won’t do shit
https://science.nasa.gov/solar-system/asteroids/apophis/

Favela rape babies btfo

>>508749585 (OP)
Saved. See you in 4 years OP

>>508757742
>the worst she can say is no

>>508757245
fuck off skinny

>>508749585 (OP)
Have you considered the possibility that the Jesuits (who probably control your observatory) and yes Odessa who are probably employed at your observatory aswell aren’t just planting data into the computer in order to create this exact type of reaction from you and other staff? Remember, Wernher Von Braun said that asteroids would be the next scare after a fake pandemic and before a fake alien invasion. He also said that before the fake pandemic there would be a fake terrorist scare and before that the fall of the Soviet Union. So the guy knew what was up and what was coming, consider the possibility that the Jesuits gave you access to this data on purpose.

>>508749585 (OP)
1) Reverse image search, this is old data
2) Image shows that as measurements are taken that return less uncertainty (ie better measurements, ie more to the left of the graph) that the probability of impact deviates from what an impact trajectory would return (below red dashed line)
X's are observational data points, Trinagles are what you would have expected the X's to be if it was to still be considered a possible impact
>hurrdurr, that's just the FAKE presentation given to the public
Then post literally anything from the supposed data dump you found. Oh, he doesn't. Typical.

>>508749845
way ahead of you ;) I defer my taxes till august the following year every year :D

deboonked
https://commons.m.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Impact_probability_of_Apophis_as_function_of_uncertainty.jpg

>>508763355
taken from page 5
https://iopscience.iop.org/article/10.3847/PSJ/ac66eb/pdf

>>508749585 (OP)
It’s hard to imagine they don’t have data exfiltration software preventing you from taking the data as you described, much less getting away with it unnoticed. If any of this is true, i hope you have an escape plan. Not sure if he’s controlled by glowies, but you should send this data to Randall Carlson.

>>508749585 (OP)
It's a 450 m x 170 m asteroid. It rather small. Assuming collision is unavoidable, it will break up during entry, produce a huge airburst that might burst some eardrums and windows, and the meteorites upon the ocean would be like throwing a stone into a pond, barely any effect ashore. If you want an apocalyptic asteroid, it needs to exceed 1,000 m, and all of them are being tracked with not a single one hazardous for Earth.

probably fake and gay but have a bump anyways

>>508749585 (OP)
>just wait three more years bro ! I promise you, it will happen this time !
Get lost fag

where is safe?

>>508749585 (OP)
>no one cares
Only true part of your post.

>>508749585 (OP)
>I have 4 more years before I could leave this shithole

>>508764514
By 2029 they will have launched the mission to mars. I'm going to be on that. So long suckers.

>>508756780
uh.. Yurobros?

>>508749585 (OP)
I've known about this since 2010 at least, I thought everyone did. Isn't there a fly-past in '27 where if Apophis passes through a gravitic keyhole it will either loop back and miss or collide? Anyway as I can't verify any of this I now just assume it's cover for some jewish scheme at this point.

Weird thing is in the 90s there was a little boy on British TV who claimed to be psychic and said an asteroid would hit in 2029. It was a funny clip because he was like six but vastly more intelligent than the presenter whom he kept correcting.

>>508750756
It's not under wraps it's been common knowledge for years, but what the fuck are people going to do about it? The question is why would anyone who knows it for certain bother working

>>508755816

Something must be done about shitjeets

>>508766526
UK is COOKED

>>508750800
no, it would be bad news if it landed on you but given warning people can just get out of the way

>>508749585 (OP)
Space is fake and gay confirmed

>>508757114
He's Brazillian, the upload will take hours if the power isn't interrupted.

>>508753395
"soft disclosure" is another one

>>508753328
obunga the nigger ex-president was a producer of that flick

>>508749585 (OP)
Sopa de asteroido, uma delicia!

>>508749585 (OP)
what can i tell you dude, my nasal material tastes nice, like sometimes when it reaches to the bottom like a stalactite and when i touch it with a finger, and when i then lift the finger off the ground, the way it detaches, the entire nasal stalactite, that's the typo of porn you just won't see in astronomy

>>508749585 (OP)
Oh, I know it's certainly not true, but if it destroys this godforsaken planet, I'll believe that the God really exists.

>>508756342
It's a forgotten gem, completely drowned out by the Armageddon Hollywood slop that came same year. And it has a baby Frodo in it for good measure.

>>508749585 (OP)

>MFW favelados have an actual space research institute but not my (((white))) country

>>508749585 (OP)
Larp fags are the worst.

>>508749585 (OP)
Why does Elon want to leave earth so badly?

>>508749585 (OP)
>pic rel
your response OP?

>>508770675
because he saw what has happened to south africa and now sees it happening to the rest of the civilized world.

>>508749585 (OP)

Cool story, bro.

>>508749585 (OP)
surely THEY will stop it, we're too important too them aren't we?

>>508771353
If they stop it, it's not because of us but because they want to preserve earth for either extremely selfish or selfless reasons.

>>508749585 (OP)
>>be me
>>astronomer and data scientist
You sure? Pretty sure space is fake and gay.

>>508749857
When are we going to remove all indians from planet Earth?
Fixed that for you

OP the faggot posted a picture that shows how the probability of impact faded to nothing.

>>508749585 (OP)
ROLLING FOR INDIA

>>508749585 (OP)
Nothing ever happens

>>508756367
I know and why would I be spooked
They need to try harder and pay better with less hours
I am available during shitpost hours for think tank work
Anything more than that is waste of all of our time

>>508773356
Just text me next time none of that calling from other peoples phones with a hijacked number or weird shoulder tap shit
The charade is silly and slightly insulting

>>508773481
Better yet use snail mail all official like

polejeet in space
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZcfHni6L5M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZcfHni6L5M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZcfHni6L5M

considering they say it'll pass below many human satellites, the chance of hit is pretty high even if officially, they don't think it will.

>>508749585 (OP)
>April 13, 2029
Two weeks

>>508749924
Kek

>>508749585 (OP)
We ain't gonna get hit with any asteroid that carry significant mass unless we somehow blow up the moon, there is very limited angle at which it can close the distance without being intercepted by gravity of another planet or burning in our atmosphere and there is like 20min window where the moon won't be able to throw it off.
Basically for an asteroid to fuck us up it need to be fuck off huge(like some of mars moons huge), hit the planet right in the middle while the moon is on the other side, or be the size of the moon and just fly by. There is only a handful of objects big enough for the job in our system and sadly non of them is heading in our direction.

>>508771700
>for either extremely selfish or selfless reasons.
have you ever experienced anything in this world that might lead you to believe in the latter?

>>508775703
No, but I have never knowingly seen NHI either in my life, so what do I know about beings that are far more advanced than us?