Thread 513765718

Let's go to the moon /pol/!

Weeeeeee

Gnorts Mr Alien

ok

> be NASA in 1961
> JFK says "yo we're going to the moon before 1970"
> only sent one guy on 15-minute suborbital flight
> "this is fine"

> be 1967
> everything going to shit
> Apollo 1 astronauts literally burn alive on launch pad
> rockets keep exploding
> costs spiraling out of control
> top NASA officials mysteriously resign right before "successful" missions
> "we should probably fake this"

> Van Allen radiation belts
> deadly radiation zones around Earth
> literally called "deadly" by scientists in 1950s
> need to "solve these challenges before sending people through"
> Apollo missions: "lol we just flew through with tin foil protection"
> modern NASA: "Van Allen belts are dangerous, we must solve this"
> Apollo 12 astronaut: "idk if we even went through them"
> mfw

> Lunar Module construction
> $21 billion vehicle held together with scotch tape
> literally aluminum foil and cardboard panels
> "this will work in space"
> no blast crater under engine despite "powerful rocket"
> footpads completely clean despite alleged dust storms
> engine makes no noise during takeoff
> astronauts sitting directly on top of it
> hypergolic fuel should produce visible flame
> no flame visible
> "trust us bro"

> Moon photography
> cameras work perfectly at -200°F
> film shows zero radiation damage despite cosmic ray bombardment
> perfect lighting in vacuum with no atmosphere
> shadows point to nearby light source not distant sun
> hot spots and fall-off patterns like studio lighting
> "artificial lighting? never heard of it"

> Moon dust behavior
> sticks to everything despite no moisture
> forms clouds and stays suspended (impossible in vacuum)
> perfect boot prints (need moisture to bind particles)
> rover wheels covered in "mud"
> sand keeps shape of numbers after being dislodged
> "lunar regolith is magic"

>>513765921
> Flag waving
> American flag waves multiple times with nobody touching it
> astronauts in LEM for 15+ minutes
> flag still waving by itself
> "must be solar wind in a vacuum"

> Wire evidence
> mysterious light flashes above astronauts' heads
> astronauts levitating and sliding impossibly
> pulled upward by invisible forces
> "definitely not wires"

> Communication problems
> some radio responses arrive too fast for moon distance
> original moonwalk tapes "accidentally erased to save storage space"
> most important footage in human history
> "oops"

> Missing evidence
> all LEM blueprints destroyed "to save space"
> only vehicle to land humans on another world
> NASA creates 2km no-fly zones around landing sites
> "don't look too closely"

> Astronaut behavior post-mission
> Neil Armstrong disappears, refuses interviews
> Buzz Aldrin: "the moon has destroyed us"
> falls into alcoholism and depression
> all three Apollo 11 crew resign within a year
> refuse to swear on Bible they went to moon
> Armstrong talks about "truth's protective layers"
> "we're totally fine guys"

> The kicker
> Soviets never exposed hoax because détente negotiations
> would look like sore losers anyway
> joint space missions started right after Apollo
> 400,000 employees didn't need to know
> just small group at top
> had simulators that could fake entire mission
> Hollywood already had front projection technology
> "what could go wrong?"

> tfw you realize
> greatest achievement in human history
> might have been filmed in Nevada desert
> with better special effects than 2001: Space Odyssey
> Stanley Kubrick probably involved
> mfw we never left low Earth orbit
> mfw it's all so tiresome

>>513765904
*tears up your flag*

hoo hoo AHH AHH AHH

>>513766006
No way norway

>>513765768
WHAT THE FUCK!? IS THAT REAL!??

>>513765718 (OP)
Cool thread op. I’m not a moon landing doubter but it is still wild to me, especially the lander covers red in Mylar. A billion dollar space tent.
I hear the flag is white now due to if rays, which is all the justification I need to go back regardless of cost. I literally don’t care if we had to completely defend Medicare, Medicaid, and literally all other spending besides defense
I want that fucking flag in full color

>>513765921
>>513765930
quality pasta.