>faildaughter
>mega autism + completely maladjusted due to near complete social isolation from birth to early teens
>become obsessed with fiction early in life
>constantly self insert into fictional scenarios
>hyperfixate on a handful of fictional characters
>spend all my free time daydreaming about whatever fictional character ive focused on to the point grades suffer in school

>now in early twenties
>still dont care about real people, completely unable to connect
>only interested in fictional character desu
>spend hundreds of dollars for self insert art of self and character
>spend at least 8 hours a day generating ai assisted fanfiction of self and character
>almost exclusively jerk off to imagined scenarios with character, erotica written by ai about character

is anyone else like this? i know moids have waifus and stuff and theres an aigen waifu general on this board, but sometimes i feel like the only person who puts this amount of investment into a fictional character and is completely fine with it.
rejecting reality and embracing delusion is the only way for some of us to live desu

picrel

I don't like this new trend of women saying they're jerking off. that's our word. you shouldn't use it.

>>81496131
what else is there to call it? jilling off sounds stupid. masturbating is too clinical. "pleasuring myself" is too sensual for what i do kek

>>81496119 (OP)
I'm the exact same and I have spent a ton of time on AI imagining scenarios where I'm a loving husband and father

Fear not, i'm going to blow my brains out soon enough.

>>81496149
idk call it finger banging or something. jerking off doesn't make sense you got nothing to jerk.

>>81496155
why would you want to blow your brains out anon? theres theoretically unlimited fictional scenarios you could play out to entertain yourself until you die? i get its nothing like the real thing but if it werent at least a little bit satisfying you wouldnt be doing it, right?

>>81496158
but that sounds gross, anon...

>>81496119 (OP)
If you're actually autistic it's not your fault. Allistic people treat toddlers as if they were subhuman, but autistic children at that age are mentally at at least age 6 to 8, sometimes 9 to 10 (God knows I was).
When your brain need stimulation the most, your parents literally told you to shut up and stunted your growth.

It is not your fault.

>>81496149
Flicking the bean OR touching your ThinkPad

Are you by any chance in central europe? I'm kinda looking for an autistic GF who I want to wife up because I'm autistic too and allistic women don't understand like autistic women do.

>>81496191
no, sorry, i live in desert nowhere USA. i dont think i could have a real relationship with people anyway. i dont think i like real people, i think i just like todd kek. best of luck on your autistic wife search though

>>81496181
Because I hate this disgusting materialistic proxy world we live in now.

literally all I want is to be a husband it is probably the one thing I care about. I wanna be a husband and I wanna be a good dad and I wanna raise lots of kids with someone who i desperately adore. I keep preoccupying myself with fiction because it's the only thing keeping me from losing it. I need it and cant have it and I am not good enough to ever get it.

This world has been rotted from the inside out and actual ideals of virtue and love are very very hard to find.

>>81496204
Alright and thank you.

How do you Schlick with your brain ?

>>81496214
thats really sad anon. thats a noble pursuit. i hope you can find that one day

>>81496224
shlick is also a gross word for it.
just imagining scenarios. im more turned on by imagined dialogue than imagined physical sensation. but lately for the past year or so ive been feeding scenarios + examples of my writing to ai instead so it can generate something i can read, which makes it much easier

me too, fembot.. wouldnt it be kind of hot if we fell inlove? two unlikely lovers.. let that play out.. are you sold yet? whats your discord

>>81496280
I've kind of entirely given up on ever finding it. Most people don't want that kind of love in the US. Even something as simple as wishing I could find someone to wait until marriage with for sex is completely unrealistic even though I'm only 21. And even so, I'm not nearly good enough for the women who DO really want that, who DO really want love and a big family and to devote themselves to God and those in their lives.
It doesn't matter how bad I want it, I'm not 'husband' material and likely never will be even though it is literally all I want. All I want is to eventually be in a stable enough place where no matter what happens I'd have my people and I'd have a wife whom I adore. This will never happen and people will suffer for it

I'm a terminal outlier and I am meant to die horribly

>>81496119 (OP)
I haven't self-inserted in a couple years but I still spend most of my free time imagining scenarios between characters and quietly acting it out. Can't form IRL friendships though and feel that nobody would approve of my schizo theater anyways so I always keep to myself. I need to learn an art medium or else I'm screwed.

>>81496149
>what else is there to call it?
rubbing off

>>81496119 (OP)
I'm in the same boat, I've always had difficulties interacting with real people and it makes me feel like a subhuman, ever since I was very young I would daydream about running off to the woods and finding a hidden society of animal people to go join them instead and get a qt wolf girl girlfriend, I'm nearly 30 now and this is still the main thing I dream about, I'm uninterested in real women at this point and my only reason for taking care of myself is to be a better partner for my fictional wolf girl

>>81496131
This generation of women is busted. They're either like op, or they're whores that chase older men. That might sound good for me being 30, but those types generally just want to fuck around and not actually love you

>>81496119 (OP)
tell me your character isn't actually todd alquist.

>>81496119 (OP)
You're a man. Didn't read.