I recently turned 25, and I still have a crush on my middle school crush whom I've known since elementary school. I'm thinking it's a bit too late to ask her out. I don't think she makes much money, but I'm still a loser financially and live with my dad in a townhouse. (I don't have any respectable income.) I actually live off welfare (SSI), as I can't get a normal job due to insomnia caused by OCD. (It's complicated, but it's gotten better, but it's never going to go away.)

I generally feel like a loser in life. I've been consistently lifting since January 2024, after having not lifted since 2020, rapidly gaining back my lost strength and size, so I'm not lazy and I'm a bit ambitious. I feel like getting a degree in engineering, like mechanical engineering, would greatly help me out. I should get more flexibility with a skilled job, which would work with my insomnia. I would also be making way more money, and this would be appealing to women, especially women who want to start families.

What do you anons think?

>>81562299 (OP)
Too lazy to read but good pic

>>81562299 (OP)
>ocd
Me too. Fun fact. When people get a crush, they produce less serotonin, much like a person with ocd. Now imagine actually having ocd and getting a crush.

Don't worry. You just have to wait out the ride until you die.

>>81562299 (OP)
You should make a move so you can get rejected and have closure.

My aunt also lived alone on disability (bipolar) until she died at about age 70. She also wanted to check up on a relationships from her late teens but she didn't have internet.

>>81562446
>You should make a move so you can get rejected and have closure.
I feel like the more years that pass by, the more awkward. I know she used to have a boyfriend, but I don't know if she currently does. The more time that passes by, the more likely she is to get married. I'm still a loser financially, so it doesn't make sense for me to ask her out. She'd likely be expecting a man she could potentially start a family with. I've started a few threads on here debating the importance of wealth when it comes to women, but even if I were an 8/10+ chad in looks, I don't think she would want to date me, since I don't exactly appear like a guy who has much of a future at the moment. Once again, I recently turned 25, and she's likely a few months younger than me, so she's a woman in her mid 20s. I feel like I would have to prove myself by getting a degree and a decent-paying job in something like engineering. Simply being in college doesn't really prove shit, since things could go south, or you could end up with a useless degree. The issue with this is that this process would likely take four or five years or even longer from now to reach completion. I still don't feel confident that I could do well in engineering school. I really need to start reviewing all the math I used to know (I self taught myself all the way up to calc 2 back when I was 21.), along with reviewing all the engineering material for the entire year, since I don't have much confidence in myself being super disciplined with studying all throughout the year while simultaneously taking strength and hypertrophy training very seriously. I've gotten burned out so many times before, and I wouldn't want to fuck up going back to college. If I don't do this, I really stand no chance at life. Eventually, I would get completely fucked once my boomer dad would die.

>>81562446
>You should make a move so you can get rejected and have closure.
I feel like the more years that pass by, the more awkward. I know she used to have a boyfriend, but I don't know if she currently does. The more time that passes by, the more likely she is to get married. I'm still a loser financially, so it doesn't make sense for me to ask her out. She'd likely be expecting a man she could potentially start a family with. I've started a few threads on here debating the importance of wealth when it comes to women, but even if I were an 8/10+ chad in looks, I don't think she would want to date me, since I don't exactly appear like a guy who has much of a future at the moment. Once again, I recently turned 25, and she's likely a few months younger than me, so she's a woman in her mid 20s. I feel like I would have to prove myself by getting a degree and a decent-paying job in something like engineering. Simply being in college doesn't really prove shit, since things could go south, or you could end up with a useless degree. The issue with this is that this process would likely take four or five years or even longer from now until completion.

I still don't feel confident that I could do well in engineering school. I really need to start reviewing all the math I used to know (I self taught myself all the way up to calc 2 back when I was 21.), along with reviewing all the engineering material for the entire year, since I don't have much confidence in myself being super disciplined with studying all throughout the year while simultaneously taking strength and hypertrophy training very seriously. I've gotten burned out so many times before, and I wouldn't want to fuck up going back to college. If I don't do this, I really stand no chance at life. Eventually, I would get completely fucked once my boomer dad would die.

>>81562299 (OP)
some of these stereotypes are so idiotic istg

>>81562446
>My aunt also lived alone on disability (bipolar) until she died at about age 70.
This is a nightmare scenario for me. If my boomer dad dies, I'm completely fucked. I need to find a decent source of income within hopefully the next decade.

>>81562299 (OP)
It's nice to have a crush but really you should be doing these things for yourself, not for some girl who has probably forgetten you exist

>>81563527
>but really you should be doing these things for yourself
The thing I've come to realize is that I can't really have a girlfriend unless I find a way to make decent money. Even if I achieved 8/10+ looks, if I'm a broke loser, I might be able to score with some girls, but not very many of them are going to be interested in dating me. Women want fun, and you're not going to be very fun as a broke loser. If she wants to get married and start a family, she's not going to want to date you or continue dating you. There will always be some crazy girls who don't give a fuck, though, but you probably don't want these types. How much of a role money plays will be debated, but a couple things are for certain, rich chad will always have the most options and the easiest time with women, and being poor in general is very debilitating. And don't worry, I'm not planning on using money as a crutch. I've also been working really hard and consistently on improving my looks, losing fat and gaining muscle, and I avoid dressing and presenting myself weirdly.

I've been thinking about asking her out for years, but I haven't done so, since I feel like I'm still relatively too much of a loser due to low income and not being that attractive at the moment due to being fat. I feel like if I asked her out, she would just view me as a loser and not be interested. We had some cute experiences in middle school, though. I can improve my looks likely within a year, but finding a way to make more money is going to take some time.

>>81562299 (OP)
you forgot
> oh ... chad from highschool?
> yea we got a divorce
> anyways ... I heard you're working at Microsoft now?

>>81565963
I don't know who chad from high school would've been. We went to different high schools. Still, having known her since elementary school and having had some cute experiences together in middle school, I would be super happy to have her. With other girls, I'd be thinking, "She's an X/10. I could do better," while with her, I would just view her as my sweetheart. I still have a crush on her all these years later.

>>81565963
You're unironically a volcel if you wouldn't

>>81562299 (OP)
DELETE THIS DELETE THIS DELETE T HIS NOW YOU MOTHERFUCKER

I used to spin her on the swings so much she'd throw up and we'd both laugh about it.

>>81562299 (OP)
look man i dont know anything about this but as long as you two can keep contact for a bit before you ask her and dont be weird you might have a shot. make it clear that you are ambitious, maybe even start on that degree. good luck with mech engineering, every mech engineer major i have met hate their lives in the pursuit of that sweet sweet 100k.

imo pretty risky to rekindle old relationships. usually they move on. dont be heartbroken if she did too

>>81566987
>as you two can keep contact for a bit before you ask her and dont be weird you might have a shot. make it clear that you are ambitious, maybe even start on that degree.
I would either contact her through facebook or through a friend I still have contact with. What would I even say? I still don't feel ready. I want to at least have a car before I message her. I technically work for my dad occasionally, but I don't get paid for it. My dad is the chef of a kitchen, but he doesn't own the place, and if I received a salary, I would lose my NEETbucks. As for employment, so I don't sound like a loser, I would just tell her I work for my dad in his kitchen. I would really want to be enrolled at college before contacting her, so I could show her my ambition, but maybe this wouldn't be discussed until the actual date. I'm still a bit fat, and this hurts my self esteem, so I should probably lose around 40 more pounds before even seeing her. I've actually never been on a date before or had a girlfriend before. My first sexual experience was when I made out with a 24-year-old woman when I was a 15-year-old freshman, and I regrettably lost my virginity to an ugly, old prostitute when I was 18.

>>81568090
> facebook
ah hell nah we've got a unc over here _

>>81568106
She also has an instagram, but her latest activity on there was is from 2021. Her pfp on her facebook profile is from August 2024. I recently turned 25, and she's almost certainly 24.

>>81562299 (OP)
bro she's going to be married with kids by the time you have a decent career are you retarded?

>>81568600
Hopefully not. I don't really have any SMV at the moment. I'm a broker loser with fat.

>>81562434
my best (i.e. not horrible) 4th plat DXM trips were when i was in college and my libido was at an all-time high, so this makes sense
>t. OCDcel

>>81568090
as soon as you started asking questions i stopped reading.

>i still dont feel ready

this is your main issue. you are stopping yourself for whatever reason. find out why. that will show you what you need in order to progress, either by moving on from this girl or taking the chance. do not force yourself for something you would rather not do. it will only hurt you.

it's a chopping block

>>81562299 (OP)
could try if you manage to save enough to take her out to the movies or somethin anon, u should work on yourself that is appealing to ur ideal future (like having a family) not whats appealin to others, if u can build a foundation to support what you want, then you will build the confidence to ask what you would desire, (like asking ur crush out, and amazin em with the updatin)

>>81562299 (OP)
Who's gonna make an edit of this with the line "Began transition in college." to completely shift that meme?

>>81562299 (OP)
I've never had a girl who I was that deeply obsessed with. They were all better off compared to me.

>>81562299 (OP)
Ask her out ffs I waited too long and she married Chad

>>81562484
At least talk to her about it bro don't wait until it's too late and then lose the cha ce forever

>>81568090
You're literally me 5 years ago don't be me
If she doesn't want you because you're le poor she doesn't deserve you anyway

>>81562299 (OP)
Honestly, it's not worth it. Hitting her up again after more than a decade is creepy obsessive stalker territory, which she can and will do something about since you're all grownups (READ: legal adults).