Thread 81621968

whats ur diagnosis anon? how does it affect your life

>>81621968 (OP)
schizophrenia
it pretty much ruined my life
i failed every single attempt at getting a higher education than highschool, i'm a neet and my mom wants to kick me out because she finds me lazy
think i'm just going to kill myself if i end up homeless

>>81622003
do you take meds or no? how do you feel on meds, lots of people claim they don't feel good at all, but they remove psychotic symptoms

do you also have negative symptoms like lack of motivation, being unsocial etc? im guessing yes

>>81622027
>do you take meds or no?
abilify
>how do you feel on meds
mostly the same except my sleep is much worse and the hallucinations i used to have are gone
i suspect that my impulse control is also worse but i can't prove it
>do you also have negative symptoms like lack of motivation, being unsocial etc?
negative symptoms are very severe in my case and meds don't help much with them in general
i also have weird cognitive issues
someone tested my cognitive functions a few years ago and the results were ranging from normal to really good but i still feel slow and stupid

>>81621968 (OP)
i'm a schizoid man who thought it would be a good idea (apparently) to do psychedelics with other people in my early 20s. you can imagine how potentially bad this can go for a person with schizoid defenses and it did. found myself way too unguarded with people who could fully see me and i contracted completely. it left an indelible mark on my psyche. far bypassing language and integration. since then i've had extreme trouble integrating specifically telepathic phenomena and i now have a schizo NOS diagnosis without actually having it

>>81621968 (OP)
Inattentive ADHD raped my life. Until I started meds I couldn't function at all. When I wasn't constantly stimulated I felt ill and tired

You ever notice the world is filled with narcissists but you never hear a narcissist say they have been diagnosed with npd?

>>81622149
ur a narcissist

>>81622170
It is known that narcissists always call others narcissists

>>81622149
that's because low metacogntive awareness is strongly correlated with npd, so most of them arent aware of their pathology. they may intuit something is 'wrong' here and there (i'm guessing) before that is quickly dealt with (projected or repressed etc)

>>81622149
i assume it's because being a narcissist might as well be beneficial
i doubt people actually suffer from it so they won't seek a psychiatrist to get themselves diagnosed and stuff

>>81622207
and even if they were aware they likely wouldn't admit it unless it was beneficial to them in some way. for a example a cerebral narc seeking recognition/attention for being self aware

>>81622213
They don't suffer. Everyone around them does

>>81622207
They know they're different, they can even fully realize how. They could describe all their symptoms and what made them, but it's like they're describing a fictional character. They don't actually feel it

>>81621968 (OP)
Depression, Anxiety, ADHD, and undiagnosed but suspected personality disorders (almost certainly BPD, possibly STPD). I don't really care that much about the mood shit, but the executive dysfunction is crippling. Avolition and anhedonia basically prevent you from doing or enjoying anything, and I really hate the person I am because I never accomplish or get good at anything. I am basically superfluous.

>>81622247
i suppose it would look like that, if they even got to that point. i just imagine their egos shield them from these insights by mechanisms like projection most of the time, keeping these insights away from awareness. i'd be curious to know what percentage of them have the insight you describe

>>81621968 (OP)
Roll your fat ass off an overpass, cunt.

>>81621968 (OP)
>ADHD inattentive type
>OSDD (two alters in total)
>Social anxiety
>Depression
>Opioid addiction
Life's so fucking hard. I always wonder what it'd be like to be a normie. Must be nice...

>>81621968 (OP)
Diagnosed as depressed and anxious in my teens.
Somehow they all missed that I had autism. Online-tested consistently at the 30th percentile; the cusp of mild and severe.
Still waiting years on diagnosis as 'the system' doesn't want to acknowledge how fucked we are for employability in an incompatible job market.
Also avoidant as fuck. Basically a hermit, whether I like it or not. I would be a schizoid, but I actually want to fuck (but so incel that I can't get aroused).

>>81622500
what makes you say this to a fellow human bean?

>>81622003
The issue isn't your schizophrenia, it's the medication.

>>81621968 (OP)
I'm schizoid, have ADHD and depersonalization. I can't imagine why people need "love" or care about any of this shit, I just like to draw art and play retro games, still managed to be a non virgin by 16 but if I was it wouldn't bother me at all.

>>81622107
What the hell were you thinking man, you shouldve done MDMA if you were a loner trying to reconnect with others right next to you

>>81623518
we all know that MDMA would've only ended him up suckling on everyones cocks

ADHD. it's pretty severe. I live my life like a dementia patient.

>>81623598
I ran out of my ADHD meds today and went to pick them up, the people behind the counter were saying where they were and I thought they were talking to me, paid for them and said thanks and left without them, had to go back in and they were laughing, I just said "yeah, you see why I need these" im 27 btw

>>81623882
I should get back on the meds. I quit them when I was 16 and never really looked back, but my life has been a trash fire since then.

>>81623262
Yes just become a babbling homeless incoherent retard great plan for life

>>81623945
Which were you on? I'm on 50mg elvanse or vyvanse, starting to feel better and brain isn't just racing thoughts anymore.

I got diagnosed at primary school and my grades went from F to As on meds but it gave me ticks so my parents took me off it and I failed everything lol

>>81624173
I was on ritalin, adderal and concerta as a kid. from ages 5-16. it was the 90s, they probably have different meds for it now. it all made me super depressed and I quit it as soon as I gained a little sentience.

>>81623518
i wasn't trying to do much of anything, i guess i just thought it would be a weird and fun experience. i never really noticed that the others were far more grounded than i was and was intentionally actually kinda tripsitting me all along even though they were tripping too. i just didn't realize it at the time. fuck its cringe
mdma is nice and the only drug i still to regularly. 3-4 times a year. alone, but i can see how that would be fine socially. worst case it would just be cringe light such as when drinking and oversharing

>>81624229
it's been a decade btw and it still feels fresh.
do not do psychedelics with other people if you're introverted with any sort of attachment issues. and if you're a schizoid man it can jam your shit so bad it takes lifetimes to unfuck it

>>81623349
>>81622107
maybe im misunderstanding the disorder, but if schizoids dont care about talking to people why do they come here? is it because the interaction is heavily depersonalized and (usually) anonymous and as a result doesnt escalate to the forming of relationships or is there anything else to it?
>>81621968 (OP)
>whats ur diagnosis anon?
none, never been sent to a psychotherapist or institutionalized in a psych ward. i like to think if i were sent to one i would be considered neurotypical though. if i had to deal with a fucked up mind as well a subhuman face & body i would honestly just go ER

>>81624489
Just entertaining and exiting, I still get dopamine from getting (you)s, same as anyone else and it's interesting to talk to people but I can get the same level of excitement playing old video games alone in the dark, which I often do.

When I was 15 I once spent a whole week alone in my room, not speaking a word to anyone playing FEAR, max payne and dead rising and I felt amazing after that week

>>81623262
you've never seen what unmedicated schizophrenia looks like

>>81621968 (OP)
PTSD from combat.
>disrupted sleep
>disrupted emotions
>angry outbursts because of intrusive memories
>When upset or angry I typically look perfectly calm - when calm or happy I sometimes look murderously angry
>Have serious trouble with anything related to the trauma, including blood, heat, things on my hands, especially sticky things, fire, the smell of gasoline, or burning cloth
>Have trouble looking into someone's eyes, especially if they have blue eyes
>can't look at myself in the mirror, so often look disheveled
>Hyper alert for all danger and threats

>>81624489
basically schizoid is a cope against early relational wounding. a rare cope that forms if the child is introverted and typically very sensitive (i think. at least i was/am). so one of devalues and dissociates from needing or having to rely on relationships. if someone with avoidant personality disorder is on the fence, ambivalent, the schizoid has cut ties and does not need or want connection but it doesn't mean socialization can't be stimulating and rewarding. and yes i prefer anonymous places where i feel its fully on my terms. i have to be super careful about adding friends in any game for example because they often become too demanding or intrusive when i thought we had an understanding and i end up ghosting them which i feel bad about

>>81621968 (OP)
ADD, Asperger's, MDD, and GAD. All diagnosed by someone. My entire life has been a living hell. I was a special needs student when I was a kid. My own fucking mom had to come to school with me. As for work, I cannot work more than 4 hours without getting burnout, and I am given accommodations at work. They didn't even need proof of anything either. They could just tell.

>>81621968 (OP)
I was diagnosed with depression by doctors. But I don't feel any sadness, I'm sure they got the diagnosis wrong. They prescribed me paroxetine and lithium. Now I have sexual dysfunction.

>>81621968 (OP)
LOOK AT ME. I HAVE MENTAL ILLNESSES.
not ONE but MULTIPLE ONES. Collecting them like pokemon badges amirite HAHA!
I AM INTERESTING. MY MENTAL ILLNESS is a SUBSTITUTE for my lack of personalityyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!

>>81624927
Everyone under 30 does mental illness as a personality.

Borderline schizo at times. Dealing with either bi polar of schizoeffective disorder. Just had my Antipsychotic depot today. I always tend to relapse. I get psychosis every now and again. Lost my my friends ect

>>81624884
and i would say i have social needs. it's just that they're very muted and must be on my terms. if i speak to no one online or irl for weeks i start to feel a bit odd and dissociated. i then feel a bit more energized and present after socializing. so a minimum of feedback from the world is nice and wanted. some may prefer a lot more. what most will have in common though and what is at the core of it is that they wont get actually close to anyone no matter how much they socialize

What causes NTs to react like this? 81624927

>>81625011
They despise anyone who's different from them for whatever reason.

>>81625011
You were probably born after 2000 so you never got to experience meeting someone who didn't tell you about all of their mental illnesses, both real and self-diagnosed. It wasn't perfect back then, but that part of interaction was less annoying.

>>81621968 (OP)
Non-diagnozed mild schizoid. I don't have all the 'symptoms' but I recognize myself in a lot of them.
>indifferent to praise or criticism, unless the praise results in a better life for me (like a raise) or the criticism could mean an upcoming problem.
>prefer being alone most of the times. 2 friends, one online, one IRL. I see the IRL one every 1-2 weeks and we text daily but not too much.
>no interest in relationships past sex, but the effort simply isn't worth it anyway when I can just masturbate. Women mostly look like trouble and waste of money to me.
>I enjoy some activities but I'm very picky with them. For example I like vidya but only games that involve driving cars, shooting or both. No interest at all in other types of games.
>I'm emotionally cold at first but I can form friendships and act semi-extroverted once I deem a person is safe and trustworthy. But even then I'm less talkative than the average normie.
>I seem to be extremely good at ignoring people around me through dissociation. If I'm busy with something, everyone around me may as well not exist anymore. I've met some normies at my workplace who can't stand other normies talking all the time. Meanwhile, I simply ignore those very talkative normies.
>Most of my days, I feel the same emotions and they're never too strong. I only really feel true happiness when I play vidya and coom. I also love getting drunk but I've cut down on it as I used to drink quite a lot in my teens and 20s.
Honestly, I like this "disorder" I have. Seems like it's a good thing to have in this increasingly lonely world. And I don't have a severe case where I can't enjoy anything at all. My life is overall pretty good and I'm overall pretty happy about it.

>fries their brain with 16+ hours of daily screentime
>doesnt leave the house at all
>lives like a complete degen
>extremely anxious and depressed as a result

I am..... SO HECKING MENTALLY ILL GUYS YOU CANT EVEN FATHOM!!!!!!!!!!

>>81625072
is this a humor post?