Thread 81700029

how do you get over the knowledge that you will never be anyone's most important person

>>81700029 (OP)
i am my mommy's whoooooole world :)

>>81700029 (OP)
I don't fucking know,
Howeve it has been bothering me for a long time now and i guess it's interesting to see that there are other people who think about this.
All i want is to be someone's favorite, someone's top priority, but i always have been and will be a pathetic second choice i wish people chose me over other people and other stuff

>>81700029 (OP)
Because that's an obnoxiously retarded, juvenile and narcissistic life goal

>>81700029 (OP)
I won't, but it's fine. I occassionally remember that bit from that french movie "You will never be a woman's wet dream".

>>81700526
No it's not, love and belonging are human needs. Wanting to matter to someone is normal.

>>81700029 (OP)
I am my mother's most important person. Checkmate.

>>81700029 (OP)
be your own you stupid niggerfaggot

I don't know, LDAR I suppose.

Tbh it's better to have never been that vs being that and then losing it

>>81700029 (OP)
i will never be anyone's least important person much less their most important person

>>81700029 (OP)
I'm not over it. I'm reminded every day that no matter what I do, such feelings would be fleeting and temporary. Most people can't stomach the thought of me and the ones that do actually want me around always eventually get bored

>>81700693
This is unbearable. Being teased with hope and getting rug pulled.

I am able to.

I can achieve it for a brief period,. maybe 4 seconds or maybe 5 days. I just can't maintain it for a lifetime. And it hurts because if nothing lasts then what is the point of it all?

>>81700526
This

>>81700029 (OP)
Why do you need to be "someones most important person"? Did you never learn to value yourself? Did mommy and daddy not hug you enough cupcake?

>>81700765
Why was the rug pulled?

>>81700796
No real explanation given, the best reason.

>>81700808
Why don't you talk to someone that would actually want you around? Most people seem to chase those out of their reach precisely because they want to be wanted by someone they view as more valuable. Kinda sad really, because you don't have to feel like this, yet you choose to

>>81700839
This person chased me, until they gained my trust. Got me. Then randomly for no reason decided to get rid of me. So mental illness I guess, which kept spiraling until it cascaded into someone else having a mental breakdown. Rug pull was a very apt description of what it was, someone went out of their way to inject you into their life, became part of it, then ripped the foundation out for no reason.

>>81700029 (OP)
It's liberating. I only shave for myself now, I don't wear makeup, and I dress up like Adam Sandler for pretty much every occasion. I stopped valuing male attention when I realized I was fundamentally unlovable, and I would be an anxious mess were I to date someone. I have friends and hobbies and that's all that matters anyway

>>81700864
Shitty. Maybe I spoke too soon. I recently had someone do that exact same thing. I was told they couldn't live without me and that they needed me in their life after I started getting tired of the way they were acting towards me. Once they got what they wanted they left on their own terms.

>>81700869
I keep hearing this "I'm the issue" stuff and yet you'd probably not care about any of this for a guy that's attractive enough

Most men in relationships are noone's favourite person.

>>81700886
That's really shitty, maybe they really meant it but thought you wanted them gone? At least we all hope people still care

I won't get to experience that but there are many other beautiful parts of life for me to experience.

>>81700956
Nope, not going to get into it but I have multiple reasons to believe this person just did not care (for one they straight up have said that they don't care about anyone's issues but their own and can't feel pity for others).
There's zero point in bringing this up with them however since theyre also the kind of person who says almost anything in the moment to appear "right"

>>81700029 (OP)
The only woman I was able to attract is a fat BPDemon who doesn't love me and is clearly just using me and won't get the fuck out of my house that I did not permit her to move into. I'm not spending my life with her and I'm not spending the rest of it alone either. I don't know if I'll be around for my next birthday

>>81700864
Trying to fix it and find the answer why they were doing this to me failed, so I asked them to either care about me again or return my property (because they clearly don't care about me). They did neither and resorted to pushing me to a point my mental health failed and got scared off.

>>81700997
I'm sorry, I only bring it up because some people are stubborn and pigheaded. They could've been one based on what you initially said. For me it's this >>81701045 they got ice cold, refused to explain why other than saying I can't fix their problems, then forbid me from seeing them and avoided me for a over a month.

>>81700864
These sorts of people have no value in their lives and try to feel valuable by treating others as less than them

>>81700029 (OP)
Pretending anime girls know I exist

>>81701085
I still was hoping it was a mental illness thing that'd pass but the situation made me mentally unhealthy then they made it impossible to reach them after I snapped from the pressure three days ago.

>>81701085
Yeah I didn't provide all the context but this person essentially just wanted to use me, and saw no issue with it.

Some people are incapable of having an honest discussion and need to be in control constantly. Their self esteem issues dictate that they devalue anyone who cares about them more than they feel they deserve. Maybe I'm projecting here but I feel like this applies to the person you described as well

>>81700934
Well yeah I am the issue, I would consider myself a volcel since I'm out of the dating market. Attractive men are even worse than average men because they can actually live out their whorish fantasies and they're all used up LOL

If you have shit to do none of that matters

>>81701140
>but I feel like this applies to the person you described as well
Pretty much. Random hot and cold. Random attempts to get out, but then claiming they wanted me around and I mattered to them. Random accusations I didn't like them when they were everything to me. Random suggestions that I was going to hurt them or do something bad when they've been around me IRL a lot and I was only nice towards them. Random rage, put downs, and insults....

>>81700792
it's a human need

>>81701216
Honestly I can get like that too. Hot and cold, sometimes annoyed, but I've never cut anyone out of my life other than that person who begged me to come back despite telling me they could never love me as anything more than a friend. I may not be the best person but I know they didn't want me like that and were just using me.

At the end of the day if your person cared about you they wouldn't have completely cut you out with no explanation. If there's something I find bothers me about a person I'd generally bring it up a lot and try to talk it through

People that ghost and cut others out don't make any sense to me.
Hopefully you can find someone to be your person for good. Personally I've given up on any hope for myself

>>81701216
Also didn't mention this in my last post but they (obviously) have self esteem issues. I just can't wrap my head around why they'd cut you out after clearly signaling that they want you

>>81701256
Funny enough I begged them to come back as a friend when they showed they didn't want me as more despite saying so.
>>81701264
Because they caused me to have mental health issues from how they acted in June and got sacred off.

>>81701298
You'll find someone, keep trying and don't let this get you down. I won't lie it actually does make me envious that some people actually have others want them to this extent, but I've accepted that'll never be me
>They caused me to have mental health issues
I won't pry too much but I'm assuming you brought it up with them? I've had people go completely cold on me when Ive brought up that I was sort of depressed. At some point you just see this enough that you get numb to it

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwwabsS5K68&list=RDVwwabsS5K68&start_radio=1

Yep, just waiting for the next best thing...

>>81701353
I brought it up with them and said why too, they didn't care. The issues were noticablely visible. Anxious, frantic, self-destructive.

>>81700029 (OP)
Never expected it? Even if married or whatever you kinda care more about your actual family a lot more until they all depart

>>81701382
Yes well fuck that person then. People who straight up say they don't care don't value you at all

>>81701468
It's more they are too wrapped up in their own pain to care that they're neglect of others is causing pain. When it's not a suffering contest, we could've both supported each other.

>>81701546
That's cool, I'm going to go mope about the fact that I'll never be someone's object of love in that way. Good luck

>>81700029 (OP)
Just be your own most important person.
Half the people who say shit like this about a partner are utterly full of shit anyway.

>>81701561
I hope you find that. I sure didn't, only someone who got me to like them for validation and left.

>>81701577
Look at me still caring about and defending someone multiple people have said are using me. Funny...

>>81701577
Yeah well that's what I got too. I mean I'll never be that person that you chased lmao, or that anyone would to that extent

>>81701618
They chased me initially, I chased them harder back when they got close to me. They won't be back though, as I said they checked out a month ago and three days ago I scared them off.

>>81701618
>I mean I'll never be that person that you chased lmao
If you were that'd be hilarious. Imagine adding the person you removed recently and everything being a misunderstanding haha... Unlikely but would be nice.

>>81701639
The timelines add up closely but I don't think I'm that person.
>>81702502
I never met them irl and this anon has. Sorry to get your hopes up anon

>>81702553
Shame, you probably didn't have anything recently that could cause memory issues either. Still it would have been a happy outcome.

>>81700029 (OP)
>how do you get over the knowledge that you will never be anyone's most important person
I always knew I would be my family's last survivor. I just didn't bank on my mother dying 20-30 years sooner than expected. My last relative died two years ago. I'm just waiting to die now; but I just wish I could get some unpaid fucks before a merciful death in my middle age. I don't want to be old AND live like this.

>>81700545
Fucked up thing is that I may have been, but they never fucked me.
>>81700765
I've reached this stage. Had 5-6 women claim to be DTF this year and they all ghosted.
Just wondering how long I have to wait for the next chance to be fucked up.

I am my own the most important person

>>81702585
What does this even mean anon, are you implying that you want to drug me?

>>81700029 (OP)
I never realised how naturally unlikable I was until recently. I am fucked

>>81703095
No, I was saying you haven't encountered anything that would cause a lapse in your memory. So you are correct it's impossible for it to align. Drugging is weird and creepy.

>>81700029 (OP)
I'm my own most important person.

>>81703142
That was a joke, obviously. And no I haven't had any lapses in my memory, unfortunately. I wish I did thoughbeit

>>81701243
It's a human WANT numbnuts. You arent going to fucking die if someone doesn't consider you their "most important person". A NEED is something that will kill you on a biological level if you go without it.

Being so fucking fragile that you want another person to follow you around and constantly tell you how great you are is fucking pathetic. Be your own man. Be secure in yourself and maybe just maybe as if by fucking magic you won't be alone. Because nobody wants to hang around a sad sack of crap that needs to be constantly reassured and validated.

>>81703234
It'd have been nice, the last time I saw them in person was April. Was hoping to see them again until all these problems happened and they left.

>>8170124
no it is not one can stay isolated as long as he or she wants to

>>81700029 (OP)
I want to be everyone's most important person
But I'll take being a girl's favorite person

>>81703320
it does kill you actually. You are more likely to die if you don't have that

>>81703320
Loneliness has a 32% chance to lead to an early death. Even if you mitigate the biggest issue (which is lifestyle arising from management of chronic loneliness), it leaves you with chronically elevated levels of cortisol which have dire consequences on the body.