Thread 81789532

I hate being a schizotypal so much

me too
i sit in my room and read pessoa all day
i just want connection

i think i have stpd but i cant be sure. seems like theres no real benefit to being diagnosed with it

Schizo Is an idea of yourself not what you are. That idea Is division where there's no observation.
What Is schizo? Are those words the living thing?

>>81789551
Yeah me too
>>81789627
For me it gave some closure but u still hate it
I wish i were normal
>>81789706
What

>>81789532 (OP)
what is it like having stpd? i've heard its quite uncommon

>>81790129
I have delusions, paranoia and i feel very lonely and isolated

yeah you should probably just rope

What's your experience with it?

>>81792378
I'm constantly paranoid that my friends are plotting against me/hate me. I also yearn for close relationships and when i can't get them i get really depressed

>>81792378
also had multiple panic attacks that came from nothing

>>81792706
I was like this as a kid and that was the last time i had friends

>>81792045
He will most likely get himself killed or suicide. Every legit schizo I knew in real life ended up dead before 40. Now I can recognize them and avoid them so I don't know any more people like that.

>>81792730
>I was like this as a kid and that was the last time i had friends
don't you feel lonely?
>>81792732
yeah you're probably right
idk how much of isolation i can bear

>>81789532 (OP)
For me the worst part of being Cluster A is that we get the lame and boring schizophrenia symptoms (avolition, anhedonia) but not the cool and exciting ones (hallucinations, delusions)

>>81792777
>don't you feel lonely?
not lonely but more so i want the things friends can offer
hanging out partying drugs and most of all starting a relationship demand you to be social and get friends
i think my life is just me constantly wanting dopamine which im never able to get

>>81792787
i have some delusions. They're not that fun
>>81792812
why do u want a relationship if ur not lonely?

>>81792843
>why do u want a relationship if ur not lonely?
being in a relationship is hella comfy (apparently) sex with love involved is prob the best feeling in the world. also i think it can just improve my quality of life in general, my life really sucks as of now and having a partner with me might make it suck less.

>>81792843
I was being kind of sarcastic
Maybe I have delusions too. Not like I'd have any way of knowing.
I really, really do hate avolition and anhedonia though. Genuinely life ruining.

>>81792876
i think ur still lonely
>>81792886
yeah avolition sucks. Do u take any meds?
I think my meds help me somewhat because i feel rather motivated to do things now. But they don't help with paranoia and delusions

I think I was 19 when I was diagnosed with that. Took a while to get better. I'm 33 now and still using this place, but I love talking to people now and I do work that involves mental health.

I don't know how accurate that diagnosis ended up being long-term, but I definitely had social anxiety disorder and social anxiety, and it's taken a long time to overcome it.

I learned a lot, changed a lot, and worked very hard to maintain integrity and persist in attaining relative happiness and gratification in life. I think when I was first diagnosed it may have been a bit less common to find someone with an issue like that here, so maybe I'm not able to relate to this sort of thing today.

I think it's not impossible for a lot of people with personality disorders to get better though. I can definitely relate to not fitting in, but now I mostly see it as something that's a strength in my case

>>81792934
>, but now I mostly see it as something that's a strength in my case
why? Don't you feel lonely?

>>81792920
>i think ur still lonely
if i am dont rub it in my face anon let me cope by thinking that way T_T

>>81792954
i'm sorry
i did not mean to rub it in
what sort of partner would u like?

>>81792920
>do you take meds
I take meds for depression and anxiety. I find that they are moderately helpful for dealing with avolition, but I still go months without accomplishing a single goddamn thing. Makes me suicidal.

run into the woods and forget about any kind of normgroid faggotry

>>81793039
yeah I know that feeling...
It takes me ages to do things as well but i think i made some progress in overcoming it. Maybe my will just became stronger idk. I think u can overcome it eventually as well
how do you feel about isolation? Do you feel isolated?
>>81793045
i don't like being in the woods

>>81792962
>what sort of partner would u like?
i dont wanna feed any unrealistic desires because most likely i could only find a different flavor of normie
i just hope shes not low libido

>>81793149
>how do you feel about isolation? Do you feel isolated?
I feel single. I don't really care that much about non-romantic relationships, except that I like going out a lot and think it would be less awkward if I had friends to do it with. But I don't really care about just hanging out with random people. All I want is a wife.

>>81789532 (OP)
I love being a schizotypal so much

>>81793173
still do u have an ideal?
>high libido
r u also high libido?
>>81793291
>I feel single. I don't really care that much about non-romantic relationships, except that I like going out a lot and think it would be less awkward if I had friends to do it with. But I don't really care about just hanging out with random people. All I want is a wife.
i'm the opposite. I really want normal friendships too.
>>81793705
why?

>>81794726
>r u also high libido?
yea
>still do u have an ideal?
i think id like to meet a more extroverted and outgoing girl to counterbalance my spergness. i like girls who are fun to talk to
>i'm the opposite. I really want normal friendships too.
i dont get it. you want friends but not a relationship?

>>81794750
>i think id like to meet a more extroverted and outgoing girl to counterbalance my spergness. i like girls who are fun to talk to
me too. I have recently discovered that i am somewhat extroverted, but my social skills are still very bad so i am rather stuck...
>i dont get it. you want friends but not a relationship?
no, i want both

I'm sorry that things are that difficult to you, anon. Can't do much more then sending you hugs though, I'm sorry. But it must be painful...

i have most of the traits, also some from AVPD. how fucked am i? should i see a therapist? if i see a therapist will they medically lobotomise me with medication?

>>81794814
yeah it's pretty lonely
>>81794857
therapists aren't authorised to give u meds iirc and therapy itself is kinda useless imo so idk