day 4 - /r9k/ (#81896492) [Archived: 112 hours ago]

Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:18:24 PM No.81896492
king's field
king's field
md5: c7e024ccc7015400c95d5afb731efe32🔍
fuck...I had a dream about her again, I can still feel her hugging me, the urge to cut myself again is really strong today.

how are you doing today anons?
Replies: >>81896509 >>81896532 >>81896604 >>81896621 >>81896805 >>81897798 >>81898274 >>81899590 >>81899672 >>81900299 >>81901460 >>81905024 >>81906914 >>81907752
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:20:24 PM No.81896509
>>81896492 (OP)
Cutting does not solve anything but I feel the same way you do. At a certain point it is better to give up and find some sustainable copes. I play hearts of iron 4 and eat hot dogs
Replies: >>81896563
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:21:52 PM No.81896532
>>81896492 (OP)
I will pass onto you a quote which has helped me through troubling times similar to yours, from Marshall Mathers (Esquire):

"I do know one thing, though. Bitches, they come, they go. Saturday through Sunday, Monday (yeah, yeah), Monday through Sunday. Yo."

Don't cut yourself retard.
Replies: >>81896563
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:23:04 PM No.81896548
https://rumble.com/v6w15qs-american-men-have-to-reach-higher.html?start=265

you are shit
Replies: >>81896563 >>81896575
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:25:06 PM No.81896563
>>81896509
I don't cut very often but a couple of days ago I did have a moment of weakness and did cut myself.... I know it solves nothing but I'm not a mentally stable person I don't know how to handle my emotions.
>>81896532
yeah bitches come and go but she was a very special woman she was no random "bitch"
>>81896548
yeah I know I'm shit
Replies: >>81896771
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:25:47 PM No.81896575
>>81896548
>click the link
>it is government agent nick Fuentes
>exit tab
Thanks for wasting my time
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:28:39 PM No.81896604
>>81896492 (OP)
I know the feeling, other than the cutting part. I have a woman I am still not over despite not having talked to her in nearly a year. She was everything I wanted in a human being.
Replies: >>81896624
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:29:48 PM No.81896621
>>81896492 (OP)
holy shit king field poster
you did sell that dumb moonlight sword and stunlock necron with the rapier's sword magic right?
also damn why are king field fans cutfags literally in the same boat here lmao even if it's for different reasons
also have you played the shadow towers? a bit more linear but the combat in abyss is sooooo good
Replies: >>81896637 >>81896651
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:29:59 PM No.81896624
>>81896604
it's only been 4 months for me, it still hurts a lot
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:31:02 PM No.81896637
>>81896621
all those games suck
Replies: >>81896651 >>81896710
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:32:09 PM No.81896651
>>81896621
I haven't played shadow tower but I do plan on playing it, I had no idea they were more linear I do enjoy getting lost in king's field!
also sorry to disappoint you but yeah I'm a cutter :(
>>81896637
hey! they are fun!
Replies: >>81896693
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:36:23 PM No.81896693
da battle_thumb.jpg
da battle_thumb.jpg
md5: e0b272c216a8d3a70b181dc08245d619🔍
>>81896651
the level design is still pretty mazey and easy to get lost in and shadow tower 1 can be done in pretty much whatever order you want but the way the world layout is handled isn't amazing
2 is way more linear in terms of world layout but you also get to mow down knights with a shotgun while casting spells at them
Replies: >>81896721
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:38:05 PM No.81896710
>>81896637
Why would you try to diminish peoples hobbies? Cringe
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:39:07 PM No.81896721
>>81896693
oh yeah I remember being surprised when I saw you can use a shotgun in that game. man I need to get around to replaying king's field and playing shadow tower
Replies: >>81896737
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:40:37 PM No.81896737
>>81896721
you can straight up ghetto blast bosses with an uzi it's great
Replies: >>81896792
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:44:24 PM No.81896771
>>81896563

I used to cut myself in my early teens because I was a little fag who knew nothing and had schyzophrenia getting ready to ruin my life.
Replies: >>81896792 >>81896820
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:45:56 PM No.81896792
>>81896737
sounds great! can't wait to play it
>>81896771
I started doing it in my teens as well but I don't do it for attention I just do it because I get the same "release" as I used to get when I cried I usually cut in places no one is going to see (like upper arm and thighs)
An0nymous
7/20/2025, 8:47:16 PM No.81896805
>>81896492 (OP)
>the urge to cut myself again
Please don't cut yourself.
Replies: >>81896819 >>81896850
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:49:13 PM No.81896819
>>81896805
Who gives a shit. Let the man slice his ham
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:49:20 PM No.81896820
>>81896771
NTA but same except started doing that stuff pretty recently
late onsets sure are something
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 8:52:10 PM No.81896850
>>81896805
I'll try not to do it again I promise! :(
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 9:05:19 PM No.81896995
did you try jacking off to forget about her ?
Replies: >>81897046
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 9:09:20 PM No.81897046
>>81896995
how is that going to help?
Replies: >>81897259
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 9:29:39 PM No.81897259
>>81897046
https://youtu.be/Gq3EYg9FMkA?si=lxwH1Gr9yDkCPI_D
Replies: >>81897266
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 9:30:39 PM No.81897266
>>81897259
oh good more terrible music from you
Replies: >>81897296
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 9:33:32 PM No.81897296
>>81897266
haha. this music is the best music there is. thats why i listen to it.
>how is that going to help?
the post nut clarity will tell you that you dont need her
Replies: >>81897310
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 9:35:17 PM No.81897310
>>81897296
ok sorry for insulting your taste in music that's very rude of me, it's just not my kind of music sorry.

and I've jerked off before, it doesn't help...
Replies: >>81897547
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 9:55:08 PM No.81897547
>>81897310
https://youtube.com/shorts/taIz0iViqH4?si=ueRD2skm8sZB7X2f
Replies: >>81897578
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 9:58:35 PM No.81897578
>>81897547
it really wasn't funny desu
Replies: >>81897750
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 10:15:55 PM No.81897750
>>81897578
https://youtu.be/ebe6Ke2kIKU?si=WavETyL5Xvq_c2Zx

enjoy some good music while you are here
Replies: >>81897810
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 10:19:29 PM No.81897798
>>81896492 (OP)
This will pass, anon. All things do. Just try to avoid hurting yourself in the mean time. If the urge is really strong, take an ice cube and squeeze it as hard as you can until it hurts. That helped me in the past.
Replies: >>81897827
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 10:20:30 PM No.81897810
>>81897750
thanks! uh here's a song I like, reminds me of my ex so I can't listen to it without crying

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icfq_foa5Mo
Replies: >>81897833
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 10:21:38 PM No.81897827
>>81897798
thanks anon I'll try not cutting myself again, I appreciate your concern

clearly a person like me shouldn't be loved look at what happens!
Replies: >>81897949
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 10:22:03 PM No.81897833
>>81897810
im jacking off while listening to the song now
Replies: >>81897842 >>81908802
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 10:22:44 PM No.81897842
>>81897833
god I hate you....
Replies: >>81898543
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 10:31:19 PM No.81897949
>>81897827
>clearly a person like me shouldn't be loved
Everyone deserves to feel loved, anon. You're no different. Try not to be so hard on yourself.
Replies: >>81897975
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 10:33:40 PM No.81897975
>>81897949
but look at me look how obsessive I am! I should've stayed alone it was less painful
Replies: >>81898030 >>81898046
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 10:38:02 PM No.81898030
>>81897975
you never met her in person did you ?
Replies: >>81898113
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 10:39:33 PM No.81898046
>>81897975
Yeah, being an obsessive retard fucking sucks. I'm pretty similar. But you do learn and grow as you get older and get better at managing your emotions. Things will get easier. Just don't lay down and rot and do nothing with yourself.
Replies: >>81898113
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 10:44:33 PM No.81898113
>>81898046
I am trying to improve my life by getting another job and shit, getting a job is pretty hard right now though, no one's hiring
>>81898030
no but we really wanted to meet I do know what she looks like
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 11:00:30 PM No.81898274
>>81896492 (OP)
Day 20 here, it's pure agony. Holy fuck I hate being awake.
Replies: >>81898292
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 11:01:53 PM No.81898292
>>81898274
technically it's been 4 months but it's day 4 of finally accepting she won't be back, it hurts so much anon
Replies: >>81900060
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 11:21:50 PM No.81898543
>>81897842
im going to always be in your threads
Replies: >>81898580
Anonymous
7/20/2025, 11:25:03 PM No.81898580
>>81898543
aw, thanks fren! I appreciate it
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 12:36:34 AM No.81899255
hmm been playing mario 2 on nes, it's really hard!
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 1:16:47 AM No.81899590
>>81896492 (OP)
Shit I had a sad dream too, in the dream I was a kid, kind of a dumb kid, I was crying cuz I destroyed some of my ps3 games by accident, my mother was talking to me, in the dream she looked like my grandma but she was my mother, I was crying like crazy

Then I woke up sad cuz I don't have neither a mother or a ps3 in these times, I also feel nauseous cuz I took too much shit that shouldn't be taken together, besides that it's been a chill day I guess
Replies: >>81899641
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 1:23:01 AM No.81899641
>>81899590
sorry to hear that anon, about your mother I mean :(
what did you take to make you feel nauseous?
Replies: >>81899854
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 1:26:27 AM No.81899672
1615349632476
1615349632476
md5: d7fdda9ebdaa6249496aed206d937f2c🔍
>>81896492 (OP)
based kings field anon. don't hurt yourself. just drink some alcohol beer to cope like I am today. its 9 am and im drinking already.
Replies: >>81899710
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 1:29:59 AM No.81899710
>>81899672
I'm sorry fren...I hurt myself a couple of days ago I'll try not to do it again, the problem is that once I do it one time I feel the urge to do it again especially when I'm upset.

I don't drink beer my drunk dad ruined that for me! I only smoke cigarettes which I know! it's not very healthy either!

also good morning!
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 1:33:47 AM No.81899743
1744559767311165_thumb.jpg
1744559767311165_thumb.jpg
md5: b3cd40f5f6f77c21e980a2e7a346ebce🔍
Discordbro here, she reacted out to ask me how I'm doing. I responded and she didn't get back to me
Replies: >>81899874 >>81900314
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 1:47:23 AM No.81899854
chfigure1
chfigure1
md5: 83ac5936f83f8b1f130fea9cbf76e460🔍
>>81899641
I'm dopesick anon, I mixed depressants with the intention of getting high for today. I miss my mom alot and I always appreciate attention
Replies: >>81899874
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 1:50:07 AM No.81899874
>>81899743
man I'm sorry to hear that fren! I haven't heard anything from my gf or I guess ex gf at this point!
>>81899854
I didn't know you could get high off antidepressants, can I do that with prozac?

I do have a mother but she never really gave me the attention I needed she was very neglectful, I cope by listening to mommy asmr, sometimes it makes me cry (especially lately) so maybe I shouldn't
Replies: >>81899897
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 1:52:01 AM No.81899897
>>81899874
WIth depressants I meant gabapentin, benzos and shit like that, please don't try to get high with antidepressants, you will only fuck up your brain
Replies: >>81899962
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 1:59:31 AM No.81899962
>>81899897
oh ok I won't do it then! I don't want to fuck up my brain
Replies: >>81900000
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 2:04:16 AM No.81900000
>>81899962
And btw sorry about your relationship with your mother, they are crucial figures and the development of a person, it's sad but atleast you have a somewhat sane way to cope, it's good to cry yknow, mine was a really strange figure, it's very hard to explain it but truth be told I miss her alot, some hard times for me and I say that with all the selfishness that comes with it

hope you find bliss anon
Replies: >>81900021
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 2:07:40 AM No.81900021
>>81900000
thanks anon and again I'm so sorry about your mom!

> they are crucial figures and the development of a person,
I guess that's why I have abandonment issues and who knows what else is associated with my mom being like that
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 2:11:50 AM No.81900060
>>81898292
It never goes away... I hate this. Why does everyone I trust abandon me when I need them, and lie about caring.
Replies: >>81900172 >>81901075
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 2:25:02 AM No.81900172
>>81900060
same thing happens to me, don't know why I thought this time it was going to be different, I'm a fucking moron
Replies: >>81900587
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 2:38:47 AM No.81900299
>>81896492 (OP)
I think you need to man up and get over it. If you are a young guy then you need to look at it like that relationship didn't matter much in the grand scheme of your life. You should be using the time you have to get somewhere in life. And then closer near 30 or so you can try to start a real relationship with a good woman who you both can make each others lives easier.
Replies: >>81900340
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 2:40:58 AM No.81900314
>>81899743
Face/off is one of my favorite movies ever.
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 2:44:32 AM No.81900340
>>81900299
I am trying to improve my life! don't think I'm just sitting here doing fuck all, I've been trying get a job I want to get my own place and move out from my parents house
Replies: >>81901660
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 3:14:56 AM No.81900587
>>81900172
I will see if I can contact them indirectly sometime this week... I hope so, if not I dunno what I am going to do.
Replies: >>81900612
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 3:18:29 AM No.81900612
>>81900587
good luck anon, hope you have better luck than me
Replies: >>81901046
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 4:15:42 AM No.81901046
>>81900612
I hope so too... I want to wish them a happy birthday but I don't know if they will respond or care.
Replies: >>81901067
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 4:17:53 AM No.81901067
>>81901046
I think you should do it, wish them a happy birthday!

my birthday was so miserable this year I was so depressed
Replies: >>81903205
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 4:18:41 AM No.81901075
>>81900060
Maybe you're just high maintenance and they weren't willing to entertain your OCD
Replies: >>81901174 >>81901182
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 4:29:58 AM No.81901174
>>81901075
that's not OP btw
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 4:30:56 AM No.81901182
>>81901075
It's actually the opposite of anything. Engaging with me once in a while was all I asked. There was only one time I was anything like that and asked for help, and that one time I needed them they weren't there. Meanwhile I spent weeks upon weeks of sleepless nights listening to their problems and tolerating extreme anxiety responses because I cared and wanted them to feel supported. It's a case of someone not giving back a fraction of what someone else did for them. I am not upset with them or mad at them about that, but I dislike assumptions.
Replies: >>81901300 >>81901358
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 4:45:04 AM No.81901300
>>81901182
sometimes I wonder if I was too needy for her and that made her hate me
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 4:50:22 AM No.81901358
>>81901182
They not only weren't there, but let it get worse and pushed it to get worse until they noped out once they broke another person. Yeah some people might say it's dumb to care about someone like that, but I still like them and I don't care what anyone says about them. I will never hate them, and I understand they have problems too which is why they were like that. So they aren't at fault. I want to make them happy, and help them.
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 4:59:56 AM No.81901460
>>81896492 (OP)
reject your feelings, realize they're fake
stop wasting your time
Replies: >>81901657 >>81902143
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 5:22:40 AM No.81901657
>>81901460
I want to reject my feelings trust me I do, but I don't think they are fake, I really did love her!
and I'm not wasting my time! I'm trying to improve my life!
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 5:22:54 AM No.81901660
>>81900340
>don't think I'm just sitting here doing fuck all,
In a way you are though, sitting and stewing in doom and gloom is a way of doing fuck all. You need to rip out all nihilism from your life. You need to have a positive but also realistic mindset. You really are wasting your time inflicting this depression onto yourself because time is your most valuable currency. Think about how kinda pathetic it is that you are so utterly helpless to the world that you have been steeped and stewing in doom for months. You need to move on from it now and get yourself together. As a man you have to go about life like your sensitive inner world is protected underneath a solid set of armor like a medieval knight. You aren't supposed to be this effected by a woman.
Replies: >>81901740
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 5:31:15 AM No.81901740
>>81901660
I can't helped being this affected man, it was the first woman that loved me (or I thought she did) not even my mom loved me, but you're right about me stewing in doom and gloom....
but I mean I can't help it, I can't get a job! so of course I'm depressed about not being able to get a job and then I start thinking about her, this is hell!!!! I wish I could escape from my mind somehow!
Replies: >>81902193
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 6:34:01 AM No.81902143
>>81901460
You can't delete feelings, all you can do is try to make new feelings.
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 6:40:50 AM No.81902193
>>81901740
That is the nature of being a man it is going to be hard and only get harder from here on out until you yourself can grab and maintain some comfort instead of waiting for someone else to do it for you. You can escape from your mind you can do lots of things. Its up to you to figure out what works the best for you. you stewing in the doom and gloom is definitely not good, you need to be doing things and being busy to get your mind out of the gutters and depressive hole.
Replies: >>81902325
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 6:56:25 AM No.81902325
>>81902193
believe me I am trying to do something to keep myself busy, but there are days when I can't help it and all I think about is her, especially when I dream about her
Replies: >>81903632
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 8:42:25 AM No.81903127
can't sleep....
I miss her
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 8:55:34 AM No.81903205
>>81901067
I will, I have no way to do it myself so when it happens I will ask a mutual friend to deliver the message for me.
Replies: >>81903256
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 9:05:12 AM No.81903256
>>81903205
good luck fren! hope things between you two get better I really do!
Replies: >>81904348
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 10:01:17 AM No.81903632
>>81902325
I dont think you can be helped. It doesnt seem like you actually want helped or to change and want to be miserable. You are gonna have to grow up or man up eventually and not have your whole life crumble because of a woman. You will never survive in the world if thats the case, or even protect a future woman once she senses that you wont even protect yourself
Replies: >>81903714
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 10:13:28 AM No.81903714
>>81903632
I do want help! it's just hard! I don't want to be miserable forever
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 11:57:57 AM No.81904348
>>81903256
Thank you, I hope so too. Only a few days to go hopefully.
Replies: >>81904558
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 12:09:47 PM No.81904425
I hope this makes you feel better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rciee-oQLoI
Replies: >>81904558
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 12:32:28 PM No.81904558
>>81904348
good luck!
>>81904425
I actually do like that song
Replies: >>81906951
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 1:03:04 PM No.81904726
1740441776448971
1740441776448971
md5: 5e3fb547d8001b45f80a8b2a4205c198🔍
Surprised day 4 thread is still here.

Yeah it's the discordbro here again. I accidentally found her alt account and the memories came back full force. I'm in so much regret. She has a bio about how she wishes she could love.
Replies: >>81904744
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 1:07:29 PM No.81904744
>>81904726
I'm so sorry fren :(
nothing worse than painful memories
Replies: >>81904763
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 1:09:50 PM No.81904763
>>81904744
It's very bittersweet indeed. I was doing well moving on but that erased over a month of progress. She's probably active on it too... But I'll remain strong and not add her
Replies: >>81904780
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 1:13:21 PM No.81904780
>>81904763
so, is it really over between you two? there's no way you two can be together again?
Replies: >>81905730
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 1:56:10 PM No.81905024
1688405725692756
1688405725692756
md5: 1c3fffb7c464f6927c25975944a4f0fe🔍
>>81896492 (OP)
Ah shit, Kingsfield Anon is back.

Sorry you ain't doing well, man. Im alright, if a but tired. Doing okay with getting back into a fitness routine.
Replies: >>81907555
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 3:32:58 PM No.81905730
1735587305251623
1735587305251623
md5: d2bc4632d91afbfee770f40b9a7fc789🔍
>>81904780
I think we could if I tried but it just wouldn't be the same. I've not learned from my mistakes and I think she's lost interest.
Replies: >>81906891
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 5:57:15 PM No.81906891
>>81905730
All you can do is try and hope.
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 5:59:27 PM No.81906914
>>81896492 (OP)
why cut yourself? That's retarded, just kys already
Replies: >>81906927 >>81907264
An0nymous
7/21/2025, 6:00:41 PM No.81906927
>>81906914
>why cut yourself?
True, he should rape her instead
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 6:03:17 PM No.81906951
>>81904558
>I actually do like that song
<3
https://youtu.be/Y9-7rcKxIc8

I've been going through a bunch of old music my mother would listen to back in the day. It's been quite fun.
Replies: >>81907264
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 6:37:33 PM No.81907264
>>81906914
if I wasn't such a pussy I would anon trust me
>>81906951
that's nice ^_^
here's a song I like! I grew up listening to music like this because of my dad.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDzHhqWZMD0

btw I also liked that song you posted :)
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 7:06:46 PM No.81907555
>>81905024
hi! it's nice that you're doing ok! I need to start going on walks again, that's the only exercise I used to get but ugh going on walks in the summer is not very fun
Replies: >>81907673
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 7:20:07 PM No.81907673
>>81907555
>but ugh going on walks in the summer is not very fun
Tell me about it. I went on a two mile run last night for the first time in a month. Spent the latter half thinking about taste testing buckshot.

Anyway, I don't know if you remember me. I was here a few days ago and we talked about vidya. Mostly Revengeance, as I recall.

Sorry to hear about what you're going through. I still get those dreams from time to time, but as years have gone by they've faded in intensity and frequency. Hopefully yours will slough down soon.

I don't know much about self harm but I know a lot about suicide. I hope you have people that care about you that you can talk to, and something fulfilling to put some time into. I wish I could help more but I'm unfortunately just some guy on a Mongolian basket weaving forum.
Replies: >>81907820
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 7:27:32 PM No.81907752
>>81896492 (OP)
>youve hugged her
get the fuck off of my board normie
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 7:33:54 PM No.81907820
>>81907673
thanks I appreciate your concern fren, I do remember you!
I really do hope I can forget about her or at the very least I hope it doesn't hurt as much anymore when I think about it.
sadly I have no one irl to talk to about this and as for something to put time into, I want to get back to drawing, I used to draw a lot (mostly schizo doodles as I like to call them) but I stopped I want to draw again and hopefully make better drawings
Replies: >>81907943
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 7:44:54 PM No.81907943
>>81907820
>sadly I have no one irl
Mad gay, but that's where I was for the first year-ish after mine. I survived, so I'm sure you will too.

>want to draw again and hopefully make better drawings
I draw too, but my drawings suck. I don't have a real style and I have to sit a reference in front of myself 90% of the time.

Still draw a decent amount because I GM a pen and paper game for some old friends of mine.
Replies: >>81908137
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 8:02:09 PM No.81908137
IMG_2025-06-13-14-08-03-264
IMG_2025-06-13-14-08-03-264
md5: a96d7a772ba5bd1b177e5fcd3ac460b2🔍
>>81907943
>Mad gay
yeah! my parents are very judgmental, you know how a mother is supposed to comfort you? well my mom always makes me feel worse so I never talk about anything to her.
>I draw too, but my drawings suck.
mine too! I want to get better, I can only draw schizo looking drawings lol at least is realaxing though
Replies: >>81908195
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 8:06:36 PM No.81908195
20250710_202514
20250710_202514
md5: 8867263e7c892653297a594e6ba84cff🔍
>>81908137
>my parents are very judgmental, you know how a mother is supposed to comfort you?
My Ma has BPD and tries to shit out advice before she's even heard what the situation is. And I don't talk to my pop any more.

Here's hoping you can find some people to get you through, Anon.

>can only draw schizo looking drawing
I honestly love schizo scribbles. I have a deep fascination with anything made by someone whose brain just kinda "works different." Your stuff is neat, by the way. If you could refine it some more I'd call it real art.

Oh, and here's some of my shit
Replies: >>81908260
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 8:12:06 PM No.81908260
1234124543
1234124543
md5: b210a8afc629aa54b569f280cbdfe3c8🔍
>>81908195
I don't know what the hell's wrong with my mom but I wouldn't be surprised if she has BPD as well, she is one of those crazy religious people and my dad uhhh I don't know while he was physically here while I was growing up he was always drunk watching tv er...when he wasn't angry and yelling that is!

I like your drawing! I noticed the brand of sacrifice :D I love berserk! one of my top 3 manga!

here's another one of my drawings (last one I promise!)
Replies: >>81908576
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 8:36:24 PM No.81908576
20250702_192109
20250702_192109
md5: 54f519451f35729d7665c1eed626c615🔍
>>81908260
Oof, not so different you and I. Ma claims to be religious, but then immediately falls off when things get rough. Makes me mad that she wants me to be a good Christian but can't remain convicted through hardship, which is quite possibly the most celebrated virtue in the stories of the prophets.

Pop was obsessed with horror movies and doing hallucinogenics. Everything else came second to that, me included.

Can't choose family, but at least you can choose to stop talking to them eh?

>I noticed the brand of sacrifice
He's got a few references on him, the Watchmen and Marshal Law are there too, as well as a Hotline Miami one. Was gonna put more but ran out of time before I introduced him

Berserk is kick ass though. I dont watch a lot of anime but I can fanboy about the Golden Age all day. Still need to read the Manga

>last one I promise
Damn shame, I'm enjoying them. It almost looks like it has its own geography, like you've mapped out a dream.

I think this is the only other one I have on my phone right now. Made it for a buddy of mine that likes to stream Hunt: Showdown and play with me and some if our mutual friends (I'm the guy getting hit with a shovel)
Replies: >>81908697
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 8:38:52 PM No.81908608
I got you some music to cheer you up

https://youtu.be/jpLfgwFa-Jw?si=ZKRB-NwJG4w86pW4

https://youtu.be/D48eIs-Mj0o?si=3QJeyX937AySR3kN
Replies: >>81908720
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 8:44:25 PM No.81908697
454543
454543
md5: 14494403a6b8f1a955897010a8535831🔍
>>81908576
my mom is actually pretty religious like her faith never wavers but she always made it clear that her religion was more important than me, she said it several times too when I was a kid.
I barely talk to them anymore, and they still wonder why I don't want to spend time with them.
>He's got a few references on him
I did noticed the watchmen logo after I made that comment.
you should read berserk, it's really good!
>Damn shame, I'm enjoying them. It almost looks like it has its own geography, like you've mapped out a dream.
oh I can post some more it you like, and actually yeah they are kind of based on dreams, well it's half whatever comes to mind and half stuff I've seen in dreams.
>I think this is the only other one I have on my phone right now. Made it for a buddy of mine that likes to stream Hunt: Showdown
pretty nice! I like it, is he a small streamer? small streamers are always comfy to watch.
Replies: >>81908828
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 8:45:52 PM No.81908720
>>81908608
dude you already posted these (terrible) songs
Replies: >>81908767
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 8:48:54 PM No.81908767
>>81908720
I thought you was a real nigga
But i might be wrong
Are you with the shits ?
Replies: >>81908802
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 8:51:26 PM No.81908802
>>81908767
I'm sorry but you said this>>81897833
when I posted a song I liked so now I don't like you :(
Replies: >>81908817
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 8:52:13 PM No.81908817
>>81908802
Lol ok im out if here
Im quitting 4chan
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 8:53:16 PM No.81908828
>>81908697
>made it clear that her religion was more important than me,
Your religion should be the most important thing in your life, but in fulfilling your duty as a disciple of Christ you should strive to be the best mother or father, son or daughter, brother or sister, and friend that you can possibly be. Was the golden rule not to love those around you? To be willing to lay down your life for them?

And yet so few seem to understand this.

>you should read berserk
It's on my list, but the last time I bought a Manga was Ghost in the Shell two years ago. Damn I need to get more books.

>half whatever comes to mind and half stuff I've seen in dreams.
Real stream of consciousness. If I didn't have to use references so hard I would draw more but gets tiring having to copy real stuff. But yeah, this is neat stuff.

>is he a small streamer?
Oh yeah, he's only got like 30 followers I think. I can drop his Twitch if you want, but his schedule is a little erratic.
Replies: >>81908941
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 9:02:10 PM No.81908941
>>81908828
>And yet so few seem to understand this.
most of them don't seem to understand the bible at all! such a shame honestly
>It's on my list, but the last time I bought a Manga was Ghost in the Shell two years ago. Damn I need to get more books.
I read it online but man I wish I owned the actual books!
> But yeah, this is neat stuff.
thanks! I always thought my drawings were bad until I showed them to a friend once and she said she liked them, I should start using references like you do though, to draw something less abstract
> I can drop his Twitch if you want
sure! I would love to check it out
Replies: >>81909059
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 9:10:46 PM No.81909059
>>81908941
>most of them don't seem to understand the bible
Very few people do. But you'll find the ones that understand the least are almost universally the ones who think they have it all figured out.

>I read it online
I can't stand reading novels or comics on a computer, don't know why. As such, I own physical copies of all my favorites.

>should start using references like you do
It can do a lot of good, just be careful not to snuff out your own artstyle.

>would love to check it out
kensei_actual on Twitch I think.
Replies: >>81909221
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 9:23:45 PM No.81909221
>>81909059
>the ones that understand the least are almost universally the ones who think they have it all figured out.
tell me about it! my mom and dad are just like that

I don't like reading stuff on my computer either but oh well It's my only option most of the time

>It can do a lot of good, just be careful not to snuff out your own artstyle.
oh that's a good point, didn't thought about that, thanks!
>kensei_actual on Twitch I think.
gave him a follow
Replies: >>81909363
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 9:35:34 PM No.81909363
>>81909221
>mom and dad are just like that
Sorry, my man. Hopefully you can find some better influences.

>my only option most of the time
Thankfully I have a little but of disposable income so I can usually buy books or games every month or so.

Just wish I had the free time to go with it.

>gave him a follow
Sweet, he'll appreciate that. Fair warning, we are all absolute monkeys. If you end up seeing one of his streams, I am the gnome.
Replies: >>81909445
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 9:42:46 PM No.81909445
>>81909363
thanks!

I usually use my disposable income on games lol

>Sweet, he'll appreciate that. Fair warning, we are all absolute monkeys. If you end up seeing one of his streams, I am the gnome.
alright man! hope I can catch one of his streams
Replies: >>81909565
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 9:53:50 PM No.81909565
>>81909445
They happen off and on, usually around 6:00 or 7:00pm EST through the week. Just whenever he gets off of work and can assemble the apes.

I'm thinking about trying to save up for a new computer come Black Friday. Haven't made up my mind yet
Replies: >>81909596
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 9:56:33 PM No.81909596
>>81909565
good to know! I'll keep the schedule in mind

I recently got a gaming pc and instead of playing modern game I've just been emulating ps2 games lol
Replies: >>81909621
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 9:58:39 PM No.81909621
>>81909596
Yeah I think we talked about that last time.

My rig isn't bad and still runs a lot of newer stuff, but I wanna try the new STALKER game and some other stuff that's real hardware intensive.

Emulators are great though. I'm gonna get a bunch some time soon.
Replies: >>81909707
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 10:06:16 PM No.81909707
>>81909621
oh man I've been meaning to try stalker, the original! it looks like my kind of game
Replies: >>81909736
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 10:08:50 PM No.81909736
>>81909707
The original is great. Clear Sky is kinda universally considered the weakest of the trilogy, but is still good. Call of Pripyat is fantastic and I highly, HIGHLY recommend getting it and installing GAMMA/Anomaly. I don't know how many hours I have lost to the zone.
Replies: >>81909765
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 10:11:15 PM No.81909765
>>81909736
sounds like fun! I should buy them (or pirate them) soon!

last night I managed to beat super mario bros 2 on nes without save states! took me all day but I did it! I honestly find the mario games harder than mega man and castlevania
Replies: >>81909848 >>81909926
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 10:18:47 PM No.81909848
>>81909765
Not much point in pirating them, you can catch them on sale for like $5 a pop. Or you can go to G2A or another key reseller and get the trilogy for that price.

>managed to beat super mario bros 2 on nes without save states!
Nice! Yeah I suck at platformers in general so I can understand that sentiment.
Replies: >>81909908
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 10:24:20 PM No.81909908
>>81909848
oh they're very cheap! I won't pirate them then!

have you been playing something lately? or watching something?
Replies: >>81909970
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 10:26:07 PM No.81909926
>>81909765
>I honestly find the mario games harder than mega man and castlevania
Not who you were talking to, but as someone who grew up with those games as a kid that's rather shocking. Air Man's stage in MM2 is brutal.
Replies: >>81910107
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 10:29:29 PM No.81909970
>>81909908
>playing something lately
Silent Hill 2, and Insurgency Sandstorm. Oh, and I bought Detroit Become Human because I was bored and it was cheap. It's alright so far.

I also bought some old movies, like Sin City, Robocop, Predator, that kind of stuff.
Replies: >>81910107
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 10:42:13 PM No.81910107
>>81909926
idk for me what makes mario harder than mega man and castlevania is the fact you die in 2 hits and you have to get very very close to the enemies, also in mario you have to take into account mario's momentum, mega man and castlevania don't have that. but that's just me I guess.
>>81909970
oh are you playing the original silent hill 2 or the remake? I love those games the first one is my favorite though! love the weird industrial ost! detroid become human is the only one of those kinds of games that looks interesting to me.

I really like predator, never watch robocop though, I've seen some of it on tv though, have you watched dark city? that's one of my favorites that one and jacob's ladder
Replies: >>81910149 >>81910149
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 10:46:26 PM No.81910149
>>81910107
>original silent hill 2 or the remake?
Remake, I need to get an emulator up so I can do the original. Haven't played it for at least 15 years.

>detroid become human is the only one of those kinds of games that looks interesting to me.
I am a sucker for a good narrative, and Detroit is competent so far. if you like that kind of stuff I recommend Disco Elysium. Absolutely beautiful game, I can unashamedly call it art.

>>81910107
>dark city?
Never heard of that, I don't think.

>jacob's ladder
I have indeed watched Jacob's Ladder. I loved the movie but hated the ending. Been a bit since I watched it though so I may give it another go and see if the ending has grown on me at all.

I also have a soft spot for almost anything to do with Vietnam
Replies: >>81910221
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 10:53:03 PM No.81910221
>>81910149
there's a pc version of the original silent hill 2 and there's even a mod to make it look nicer, nothing too crazy just better resolution and stuff like that

dark city is pretty good some people claim the matrix was ripping that movie off lol idk maybe?

I did like the ending of jacob's ladder, it was a little predictable but that's not exactly a bad thing in my opinion, it was done well

several people have recommended me disco elysium I should really check it out.

have you ever played shadow of the colossus? it's one of my favorites and I personally call it art, mostly because of the music though
Replies: >>81910349 >>81910349
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 11:02:32 PM No.81910349
>>81910221
>there's a pc version of the original silent hill 2
I had no idea. They sell it on GOG?

>dark city is pretty good
I'll try to remember to look it up when I get home.

>I should really check it out.
Absolutely you should. Astounding writing on depression and national identity, wrapped up in some great comedy and an amazing art style. One of my absolute favorites

Would also tentatively recommend LISA the Painful. See if it tickles your fancy.

>>81910221
>ever played shadow of the colossus
I have not. It's one i plan on emulating
Replies: >>81910451
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 11:10:46 PM No.81910451
>>81910349
sadly it's not you have to hunt down a pirated copy but it's very easy to find!
>Absolutely you should. Astounding writing on depression and national identity, wrapped up in some great comedy and an amazing art style.
sounds great, I've heard about LISA as well but I have no idea what's it about, I'll google it and see if it looks interesting to me.

>I have not. It's one i plan on emulating
it's a lot of fun! it's more of a puzzle game than an action game though so keep that in mind!
Replies: >>81910887
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 11:48:04 PM No.81910887
>>81910451
>more of a puzzle game
Hey, some puzzle games can be real good.

Im gonna hop because my phone's almost dead, but I'll catch you another time.
Replies: >>81910916
Anonymous
7/21/2025, 11:50:12 PM No.81910916
>>81910887
alright! talk to see you later!