>>82196700 (OP)I'm a little racist by defualt because I physically can't help it. Most white people are. Those who actually can't see race are brainwashed and will shit themselves and make up nonsense when you point it out to them.
It's like with men, right? You see all men as a threat and potential rapist and you don't want to be alone in the same room with him. That's what it's like for black people with me. I worry some asshole black guy is going to be the stereotype and try to rob me. Literally, all I was taught about you guys in school was how you were slaves and why I should feel bad for you. I try to give you people space to be individuals, but I and everyone else can't help but be a little bit racist due to the inherently racist nature of being white around a black person in this society where racism is constantly either reinforced or hidden while it's reinforced.
Some black women are great and I like them. But I'm not going to sit here and pretend like I don't know what racism is just because I'm on the better end of it. I would not be happy with a black gf, or I would fetishize her in the same way some people like feet, or I would fetishize how being the monstrous "master" and whipping her makes me feel awful.
I do foster some hate toward blacks, but I recognize that it's stupid to profile people and try to compensate for it by at least performing well and being kind to black people even if it ultimately results in me avoiding them more intimately.
Nobody wants to fix my racism. They just think that throwing facts in my face or a therapist will fix the years of annecdote and condescending leftist racist propaganda and right-wing regular racist propaganda and the continuation of it. They think if I introspect enough, I could somehow purge it from my system. The best I can do is subliminate it. But it's still going to be racism at the end of the day, no matter how much frosting I put on it or how I manifest it into my interactions.