Thread 82208003

isolation makes u go crazy

>>82208003 (OP)
Yes, desu. It does.

Only if you're weak.

>>82208003 (OP)
>not shrimply developing schizoid personality disorder and living your best life in isolation
Weak

>>82208020
Can't develop something with a big biological component unless you go the stuff sadly.

>>82208003 (OP)
>isolation makes u go crazy
Crazy? I was crazy once.

>>82208003 (OP)
It does, yet many mentally ill people isolate themselves anyway like fools. Guess they didn't get the memo solitary confinement is considered a form of torture when used against the mentally ill, because it leads to psychological decompensation that requires medical intervention faster in their group.

Music makes me lose control

isn't it really annoying how the people who are like "isolation is fine i like being by myself sometimes" are the kinds of people who lose their mind if they don't get a reply from a friend in like 6 hours? weak hypocrites. i want to crush them all with my sick mind.

>>82208010
sure does

>>82208015
uhuh. and what's your longest bout of social isolation?

>>82208020
working on it!!!

>>82208185
some of us mentally ill people claw at people desperately but can't keep them (because we're mentally ill) so it gets worse and we repeat the cycle and aaaaaaaaaaaa i hate how normal and functional i am when i have someone to depend on and how crazy i am otherwise

>>82208239
hahaha I'm laughing but it's just pain.

>>82208003 (OP)
why are you isolated to begin with?

>>82208239
That's true. There are quite a few people mentally ill who have no one, because of how they are. They cannot help it, and will unfortunately become less stable because of it. They aren't the types who are dumb though.
It's mentally ill people who intentionally isolate themselves, or make drastic medication changes when they feel bad who are dumb. Medication changes, medication withdrawals, using substances, isolation, lack of sleep, and lack of social support are the biggest causes of decompensation. Decompensation makes schizophrenia, ptsd, anxiety, and depression symptoms much worse and also harms stress tolerance making coping worse. So functioning falls apart and it's just a downward spiral to the hospital unless there is a course correction. Yet correcting course is harder in that state. It's tragic really how some people don't get the stabile environment they need and others throw it away thinking it'll better them but they end up harmed.

>>82208466
pain indeed. i'm sorry.

>>82208468
sequence of unfortunate events

>>82208514
hit the nail on the head. i spiraled at the loss of someone really close to me and began burning down all my bridges and diving deeper into toxic substance abuse. none of it did well for my sleep patterns either. began to forget taking my meds regularly. now i'm twisting myself into something far uglier.

i think what sucks though is that i was doing really well. i was super strong, and eventually i will be again, just with a deep bitterness locked away. but i don't want to be that. i just want to be happy and strong, not strong and bitter. all because i lost a bunch of close people in rapid cascade.

>>82208003 (OP)
It really does but not always. I think that at some point you emotionally shut down and thats that. Youd think "cool imagine not being affected by isolation" the problem is it comes at a hefty cost, it makes you stagnate in every aspect of life. Or at least thats how isolation has affected me (because lets be honest doing things alone all the time eventually kind of loses the point) t. actually friendless since 17, now 34, talk to literally nobody not even family, like I said im pretty much the exact person rn I was back then, having no "mirror" of sorts to reflect back on does that to you. It makes you autistic in the not-cool way too.

>>82208514
>It's mentally ill people who intentionally isolate themselves, or make drastic medication changes when they feel bad who are dumb.
Who are you calling mentally ill bud? Excuse me for being trapped in neet-wagie hell with narcissitic abusive relatives with no possibility to escape. It hurt bad enough when I was young and watched everyone move up in life

It depends on one's emotional maturity and EQ

>>82208903
i think no matter how high your parameters, the ravages of time eat you away

>>82208609
>pain indeed. i'm sorry.
It's okay. It is what it is. As long as you just keep trying to be a good, loving person

yeah, I've been isolated for a year or so now. I haven't talked to a single person outside of work. The convos we do have are brief and impersonal due to the nature of my job. No one my age. I also live in small town, so again, I can't find people my age. It sucks desu. I'm working on moving away to a different place, but the job market is terrible.

>>82208003 (OP)
Isolation has allowed me to detach from and observe the world from a vantage point few others can hope to attain

>>82208003 (OP)
People make you go crazy,

because

Weren't you always crazy? You just had something to focus that craziness on, and now you've lost it.

>>82208003 (OP)
I know but at the same time the people I thought I could depend on have discarded me so I'm always alone.

>>82208926
>It's okay. It is what it is. As long as you just keep trying to be a good, loving person
would you be disappointed in me if i started being hateful? being good and loving wasn't enough.

>>82208940
i know how you feel anon. nobody i interact with is anywhere near my generational age group or even my personality age group. everyone's old with families and children... i don't speak to people face to face anymore.

>>82209020
i was always pretty crazy, yeah. when i had it, i was serene, placid, normal, and so motivated. slinking in the darkness illuminated by my monitors is making me crazy again.

>>82209054
sorry. we're social animals. we're not meant to be alone. we thrive in the company of others.

>>82209105
>i don't speak to people face to face anymore.
how old are you? did/are you going to uni? neet?

>>82209177
i live by myself in a home too large and work remotely

>>82208003 (OP)
>isolation makes u go crazy
It gets better or at least, you become numb to it after a while.

>>82209204
>large and work remotely
are you also trying to get a new job? what are you doing to help yourself

>>82209105
>would you be disappointed in me if i started being hateful? being good and loving wasn't enough.
Only because you'd be acting like me and I think you deserve better than that.

>>82209230
why would i want a new job? my current one is excellent. being in an office wouldn't change the fact that everyone i work with are boomers.

>>82209220
no i have become much much much worse the longer its been going on. you get numb and then you start dismantling

>>82209238
iuno what i deserve anymore.. you speak like you know me nonny..

>>82209204
IF you take care of me financially I will move in with you and be your friend / gay lover

>>82209264
i do not think arrangements made purely on transactionality are healthy desu! thank you for the offer however.

>>82209277
Aw hell, we can get to know each udder first to see if we're compatible. No reason we can't genuinely like each other.

>>82209290
they say first impressions count nonny, and yours was friendship predicated on financial compensation! i do not think there is much grounds for compatibility.

>>82209312
They also say opposites attract my good man. And besides, your first impression of me is when I suggested developing schizoid personality disorder.

>>82209330
i have considered your offer, and i believe i will politely decline it.

>>82209335
Would you mind terribly if I continued to talk to you until you unpolitely declined it?

>>82209341
there is not a single sentence in any of the languages known or unknown that would make me change my mind on this topic.

>>82209360
I'm your long lost brother and due to traumatic brain injury I have developed intense and non-transactional romantic feelings towards you?

>>82209372
refer to the above

>>82209387
I'll try again later but as a different personality! See you round buddy!

>>82209402
zero appetite for what you're offering. don't waste your breath.

>>82209252
>why would i want a new job? my current one is excellent.
what do you do? tech? idk, the primary motivator behind finding a new job is finding a city with younger people in it. my town sucks. maybe moving to a city and signing up for activities would do you good. i'm a moid, so I would sign up for sports leagues, but there are none

>>82209406
Oh no I'll offer something different next time don't worry!

>>82209414
what i want is not something that can be offered by a text box behind a monitor. sorry! you are still wasting your breath.

>>82209409
i live in a big city already and there are no activities i am interested in pursuing by myself anymore.

>>82209432
>what i want is not something that can be offered by a text box behind a monitor
Well, what do you want?

>>82209432
>no activities i am interested in pursuing by myself anymore.
>lives in a city but can't find shit to do
become a regular somewhere. sports leagues, running leagues, poetry/book clubs, chess, etc.. i envy and pity you, for now...

>>82209437
>Well, what do you want?
if you have to ask, then you're already disqualified!

>>82209446
done a derivative of most of these things already got bored of them... never found proper connections to people i understood or understood me. in the end it was always me moving the needle forward and i am tired of that.

>>82209252
>you get numb and then you start dismantling
If that is the effect it has on you, it's good you're at least socializing online. Think of a way to broaden your world. Take walks maybe. Attend community activities and so on.

>>82209463
done (still doing) both of these yet here we are! it only makes you feel all the more isolated.

>>82209449
>if you have to ask, then you're already disqualified!
I've given up on qualifications! Now I'm driven by curiosity. What motivates you anonymous? All consuming love of the most horrific variety? Dreams of horror made flesh? Your animu pictures are a hint, or not?

>>82209458
>most of these things already got bored of them...
hmm i pity you then. maybe I'm overly pessimistic, but this place is terrible. I'd rather be alone in a city where I have access to superficial interactions than nothing in this shit hole. sign up for some league, go to a bar and shoot the shit, play some board games with city people, etc..
>never found proper connections to people i understood or understood me. in the end it was always me moving the needle forward and i am tired
>tfw cucked by brain
brutal

>>82209497
>. sign up for some league, go to a bar and shoot the shit, play some board games with city people, etc..
done done done done done all of these, yet here i stand. as recent as.. like three nights ago!!

>>82209481
i am not your curio! but yes. all consuming, devouring love. horrific and ugly but beautiful all the same. if you have to ask you're not qualified, because there's already been a qualifier and you've missed the event!

>>82209509
>i stand. as recent as.. like three nights ago!!
that's really strange. have you tried dating apps? go to a bar and bring a book.

>>82209547
this is borderline normie advice. just stop. it doesn't work for the mentally ill.

>>82209541
Well, how terrible. That's the exact kind of love I want. My shitposting has done irreparable harm to the world. In all seriousness, it's very good taste anon. Since I've ruined my chances I will wish you the best of luck in finding it. I used to run a support group for people like you. Those were the days. Such a long time ago.

>>82209480
>done (still doing) both of these yet here we are
Hmm you should have at least gotten some interaction in community activities which should have lowered the burden a bit.
>it only makes you feel all the more isolated.
Maybe that's why you're dismantling. I commited to the isolation. It definitely funks up your brain but I got used to it.
Maybe try to make friends? You can use dating apps for finding local friends and have interactions with them. Also therapy can help lift the load. Reach out if you feel the way you do; someone will be there for sure.

>>82209554
find it? i already did. return it, make it come back? that's what's impooooooooosible!

>>82209555
i got canceled by my therapist as i was above their pay grade. you do not ``get used to it" after it sets in for too long. dating apps are misery machines. there is no hope to be found in those.

>>82209572
Ah I see, sorry I misunderstood completely. How well are you handling it? I mean, you're not hurting yourself or anything are you?

>>82209549
>just stop. it doesn't work for the mentally ill.
i'd seriously rather be in a bar than home all the time on weekends. chat up the bartender. i play chess, show up to the chess place tipsy and just talk to the players. i just miss random irl convos desu. i'm location cucked.

>>82209580
i plead the fifth! do not check the contents of my bins!

>>82209582
i don't miss random conversations. normies are not enjoyable in the least to socialize with. i would rather firebomb a bar than sit in there and try chat up the bartender.

>>82209604
>i plead the fifth! do not check the contents of my bins!
You should look for some healthier avenues of dealing with it anon! How long has it been since you lost them?

>>82209582
>>82209604
the thing with chess is i can just choose to be quiet during live games because I am concentrating; it won't come off as rude if I am selective with my conversations, i did it all the time in uni. it's the possibility for conversation that i miss
>normies are not enjoyable in the least to socialize with.
what kinds of convos do you want?

>>82209252
>iuno what i deserve anymore.. you speak like you know me nonny..
maybe i do, maybe i dont, i just wish i had someone to say good morning to me.

>>82209684
Good morning anonarino

>>82209690
>Good morning anonarino
its not morning but i thank you

>>82208003 (OP)
wdym by isolation? it would be hard to be totally isolated, i live with my mom and i see her everyday, i go to the market to buy my cats food, and i have to interact with the cashier. How do you do to not see anyone? do you live in a cave?

>>82209624
thats enough data mining don't you think?

>>82209629
not the kind of convos you have in public

>>82209684
well you gotta be awake in the morning first for that sillyhead!!!!!!!!! goodnight? i wish i had that too. ahhh. anyway i dont think we know each other but take care either way.

>>82209715
>thats enough data mining don't you think?
No need to be paranoid, but alright. I'll leave you alone now anon, but the best of luck to you in reclaiming your desired one or moving past them or whatever you feel is the best way forward. Have a good night.

>>82209715
>not the kind of convos you have in public
welp. you're doomed to discord vc then. pity

>>82209579
>i got canceled by my therapist as i was above their pay grade
Find a better one, then.
>you do not ''get used to it" after it sets in for too long
It did for me for a while, then I branched out and found company; online and then irl.
>dating apps are misery machines. there is no hope to be found in those
I found a few friends on dating apps. Just use your profile to filter unwanred people. You'll begin to amass a number of people. Some will remain pen-pals (which is good for the isolation) while others will become friends or even partners.

>>82209770
For reference, I was in total isolation for 5 years.

>>82209715
nooo we don't know each other at all ofc anon do u have my phone number btw

you're like 30 and still acting like the tumblr sadgirls of our youth, grow up cunt

>>82208003 (OP)
sounds like skill issue desu im chillin

>>82210154
isolation do be making people crayzee doe

>>82208003 (OP)
I feel alone, even though I have the support of my boomer parents in paying for my college, and my drugs... I'm exhausted, empty, like I have a fog in my mind. I think it must be the topiramate the doctors give me. I feel so alone.

hello. im crazy. nice to meet you. luckily, i dont feel so bad. just have a broken mind

>>82210490
Hi crazy, I'm anonymous

>>82210503
hi anonymous. im anonymous. that means youre crazy.

>>82210513
We're all crazy down here
But some more than others

>>82210520
abandon all hope ye who enter here (lol)

>>82210555
>implying I had hope to begin with
This is hell and we're all in it together

>>82210583
it aint so bad. the world is beautiful.

yes but crazy makes you holy

>>82210697
The world is but this board is a sort of hell. Everyone here seems to be suffering.

>>82210711
suffering is beautiful in its own ways. thats why we have tragedies.

>>82210815
That's a nice way of looking at it.
I have to sleep anon you enjoy your night.

I am an ENFJ who can't function. I'm terrified of people and can't trust anybody after repeatedly finding out my closest friends would talk bad about me exclude me and demean me. Formerly "popular" but my social life turned out to be entertaining and talking AT people who had no interest in me beyond that whatsoever. I pulled back from my friends and none of them reached out for anything. Nobody likes being around me talking to me unless I bend backwards to entertain them. My last "friend" has had me on mute for over a year now since getting his first gf in 10+ years. He will respond once per week or less and will never reach out first. We had grand plans but they don't exist now. I think he believes he's doing me a service by treating me like a subhuman instead of simply ghosting. I've completely retreated from my life and am living on savings.

I quit my job after a colleague randomly confronted me in front of our work group saying "nobody wants you here" and none of them stood up for me the people who shared jokes and painful stressful days. My relationship is totally barren and I barely talk to her even though we share a house. All of my aspirations involved other people and I can't bring myself to maintain a serious effort in working towards a future without experiencing what feels like a constant mental breakdown. I disassociate to avoid the mental breakdown but I've hit the point where nothing helps. Nothing has any purpose without others to share it with and facing that by working on anything valuable to get myself back on track is like hearing every backstabbing evil insult remembering every belittlement and betrayal and knowing that there is nothing left except more of it. My cortisol has been so high so constantly that I started experiencing mass hair loss. My sanity lasts for barely 1 hour per day. I've pushed everybody away. I set my socials to be deleted. I want somebody to kill me so at least I can go to heaven. Isolation is hell.

>>82208003 (OP)
yeh
the thought of killing myself has become so real now
i really have no other option

>>82208203
how so? it's basically all i have left but it did occur to me recently that it exasperates the pain, but i've never seen anyone in my life say "don't listen to too much music it's bad for you"

>>82208514
>because of how they are
>They aren't the types who are dumb though.
>It's mentally ill people who intentionally isolate themselves, or make drastic medication changes when they feel bad who are dumb
how do you tell the latter group doesn't do that because of how they are?

>>82208003 (OP)
But you have an Internet connection

>>82211351
It's the ever-present leftoid selective contradiction

>>82208185
are you retarded? have you ever read a book? bro is on about nothing

>>82211352
>internet connection will surely fix my isolation

>>82211376
Being somewhat asocial and enjoying time alone isn't close to the same level of isolation as someone who has zero contact with anything but people paid to provide services.

>>82210154
god forbid someone enjoy an aesthetic. i bet you're a bastion of positive development yourself? if you are then why are you on this board, tourist?

>>82210490
hii crazy how are you

>>82209846
why would i have that desu

>>82211518
are you a girl? be my gf?

>>82211518
Still awake, huh? Me too. I've been smoking a lot more weed lately and I feel way more chill. I like staying up late and doing it in the dark.

>>82211663
no i just hardly sleep anymore these days. isn't helping that's for sure!!

>>82211792
what's your @ anon. yes im the same person and no im not the guy asking you to be my gf but i want to talk to you

>>82211813
want to talk why? i don't wish to be your curio. datamine someone else

>>82211813
Dude youre not going to have sex with a fembot. They only let chad cum into their pussies. Just go back to sleep dude youre embarrassing yourself.
>>82211825
Fucking kys whore

>>82211825
Mostly because of the topic of the thread and the fact that I also relate. I have no intention of datamining you

>>82211844
Give up, shes not going to sit on your dick. Look at your face in the mirror. Youre a sub 7 loser.

>>82211854
I'm an 8 thank you

>>82211873
Youre that potato faced guy from the rate me thread. Dont scour my board for pussy or we will slit your throat irl.

>>82211882
I have never posted in a rate me thread.

Blasting prawns out my teeth

>>82211892
Yeah youd get laughed out of the place. Just go PvP in runescape, they got a new PvP style game mode for you to enjoy.

True and real. What's more frustrating is that no matter how much I try, my attempts at finding companionship always fail, whether it's because incompatibility with other people or logistics.

>>82208003 (OP)
Can attest to that.

>>82211913
I'm usually objectively more attractive than the people in those threads. I've also never played RuneScape. You really need to take your meds.

>>82211825
I talked to you literally all night, that would've been all I'd need to data mine you.
add me if you want disc autolens

>>82208185
>>82208514
>people isolate themselves anyway like fools
>people who intentionally isolate themselves
more like you ask people to hang out and they just come up with excuses not to, it's not intentional on my part

>>82208948
It's not a vantage point, anon. I would know
Just like me, you've become an observer to everyone's life, including your own
I know it sounds better when you phrase it the other way, but that's the point, you have to look at it like it is
It's comforting to think that if you stop being part of the world, you can exist in this timeless permanence, but you'll get old. When you do, the walls will start closing in, so get out of it while you can

literally what am i supposed to do
i have no other option im just done

>>82214404
did something happen nonny or are you lamenting your own isolation too?

>>82214547
i got aware of the fact that my soul is on fire and i can't take it

>>82208003 (OP)
and what's wrong with being a bit crazy huh?

>>82214815
do you think there's something that might extinguish your soul? is there much you can do?

>>82214828
a bit crazy is fine. a lot crazy isn't, really.

>>82208003 (OP)
Shut the fuck up, you don't know crazy

>>82215152
i need to find anyone. can't relate to people irl. i tried at the one online community i was part of but i couldn't connect and gave up because being there seeing everyone being happy made me sick. that was it, my one shot. tried other things too like finding people off 4chan but that was shit as well. i suppose all i can do it to keep trying or kms

>>82215776
Describe yourself more. I could take a crazy under my wing.

>>82215785
i'm a man in my 30s i don't need to be under a wing i need someone to relate to

>>82215829
Easiest to relate whilst under an aegis

>>82212170
waaoww I'm so loneley nd isolated
>>82211837
>Fucking kys whore
I'm gonna repeat what the 30 year old said who's been camping the thread for an entire day lol
Now he's "nice" lol

>>82216346
who's he
different people

the average (You) farmer toiling in the dry fields of /r9k/

>>82216766
Just add "I'm a girl btw" to all your posts. (You)s galore

Yea, I try to fill my life with work and media to escape it but reality catches up and i realize that i'll die alone. I just don't fit in, online or irl. And I am only 18...