Thread 82327674

schizoid personality disorder is one of the worst mental afflictions someone can have that doesn't make you downright insane

there's no wonder our suicide rates are so high.
even autistic retards can find comfort among themselves.

but we schizoids get nothing.

we completely lack the ability to from any sincere emotional connections.
i have not had a single person i can seriously consider a friend in my life.
it is such an incredibly isolating experience.

we humans who are incredibly social creatures, in fact, the most social of them all;
we schizoids utterly and completely fail to fulfill this genetic programming, which drives ome of us to great despair.
no matter what we do, we are always inhumane aliens in this world. we belong nowhere and will some of us will never have a single person to find comfort in.

we are incredibly anhedonic. nothing makes me feel joy or happiness. it's laws a fleeting emotion that temporarily hides the overarching monotony and suffering that rules our life.

we naturally lack motivation and ambition to do anything, meaning most of our lives are spent coping about what could've been, all alone I our heads.

it is quite literally depression as a personality disorder that is built into every fibers of your being.
this condition exists only to make us suffer and torture us.

i can only hope that they will find a cure one day to rid us of our ailment, that is the only thing that gets me going.
i don't want to be "special" i don't want to be "eccentric but interesting".

i want to be normal and enjoy life.

>>82327674 (OP)
My weirdest crush desire has always been to date a schizophrenic partner for some reason, it's always been the psychological condition I've had the most interest in to the point of making me want to learn psychology.

If there was a way for schizod personality disordered people to be understood or loved easier, what advice/information would you offer?

>>82327674 (OP)
Schizoid is actually one of the most based disorders you can have, it's basically dgaf: the mental illness. You're just in a depressive rut right now, you need get a little help, mask up and become the shadow person that slips effortlessly through the human puppet theatre that you are meant to be.

>>82327757
well, if there's anything that id like normies i know, it's that i dont mean anything by the way i am, and i may not feel as much emotions, but i am just as human as you are. i just want people to give us a chance or at least be patient with us.

also i don't really know if schizoid is in the same category as schizophrenia. most of us don't get hallucinations. though my brother and mother does, so maybe you're right. ive never had hallucinations or paranoia though.

>>82327807
it's never going to be right no matter what i do. this is a depressive rut I've been stuck in my entire life.
how am i even supposed to live with this and not want to quit?

my suffering is not glamorous in any bit of the term. its plain old suffering.
everyday, slogging through the day, completely dissociated, no emotions besides those of sorrow or distress. day in, day out.

also, how'd you know i was raised by a single mom kek

>>82327825
Being patient is what I preach usually with most people with mental disorders, but for sure seems most needed with schizoid types!~

Also that's actually very interesting! I had a ex who had auditory hallucinations often and also then went to a therapist and said she had "paranoid depression" which sounds like she's trying to avoid the schiz term, even though audio wise she fully believed it.

Thanks for the insight though, and I really hope you can find some comfort or closure,or a sense of better life direction anon ^.^

>>82327757
I'm guessing you have never met an schizophrenic then. They shout, speak incoherencies, they can be violent with random people and even you, it's incredibly stressful to live with them. There is a reason they always are deeply medicated.

There is nothing dumber than to romance mental illness. Retards nowadays see it as quirk.

>>82327674 (OP)
weird coincidence. I was just reading someone's blogpost about SPD on spacehey and now there's 2 threads on r9k

schizoid personality disorder doesn't sound that bad. everything is a neutral rather than negative or positive. schizotypal clears schizoid suffering.

>>82328041
>>82327757
Schizoid is different from schizophrenic. I am not the OP, but schizoid. I doubt you can introduce love believably to the schizoid mind.

Ive never been diagnosed but I am not exaggerating when I say I have never felt close to another human. Or pet. Been friendless for so long that my sense of reality gets a bit distorted at times. I may be schizoid, or just a very depressed or very stupid or hurting person, or just unlucky. Its not IQ, dumber people have friends. Its not all depression, because actively suicidal people have found connection. Its not the rest because reasons.

So what exactly it is? I think it is a mix of factors, among them biological factors that make "schizoids" have very low stress tolerance and overall low energy, which puts things into a vicious circle of isolation. The other major factor is lacking the ability to trust, to be vulnerable. This one is learned early on and is compounded by basically being "weak" physically speaking, no resilience at all. These things can be fixed up until a certain point, because past that it becomes all pretty moot. It doesnt matter that you find love or connection after spending your entire life devoid of them, it just doesnt sit right. The cycle goes through reinforcement and so on.

>>82327852
>raised by a single mom
Not him but single moms often seem to embody the worst type of parenting, what I like calling "absent yet omnipresent types" quoted from another imageboard.

Anyway im getting really fucking sick of being like this man. It seems there is no way out, other than embracing the role and turning against everyone and everything who abandoned you when you most needed them.

>>82327674 (OP)
An actual schizoid wouldn't write this shit to convince internet strangers of his suffering

>>82328544
>y0u 4r3 tRy1n6 2 l00k c0o1 !!!!!
Absolute fucking brainlet nigger take. You have no way of knowing if OP hasnt been living in total isolation for the past 12 months and finally reached the tipping point of isolation induced insanity. I know I fucking have, 6 months since ive posted long form and first thing I find is subhumans like you or normalniggers filling the catalog with relationshit crap. Fuck me for voicing my thoughts once in a while right

>>82328432
Imagine everything you ate was tasteless grey slop, every day, forever. Meanwhile everyone else seems to find their food interesting and diverse and it makes them happy. Now apply that to connecting with other humans. It's not a good thing at all

>>82328643
Not him but Id add
>food tastes gray
>somehow it also makes you hurt lowkey, at all times
>so even though your senses and perception are dulled, pain-pleasure balance is still negative
>also we live in a hypersocial world where you cant survive without a baseline of socializing (for jibs, networking) and a social-based world where most hobbies or distractions are either strongly dependant on humans ("escapism" that only reminds you of your grim situation) or ultra paywalled in some shape or form
People like us used to indulge in non-normalfag-catering escapism. Or fixing old radios or trains to pass time. Neither is very viable today.

>>82327674 (OP)
I'm schizoid and yes it's awful but I can still find joy in the little things. A nice meal, an interesting movie, a good song. I can distract myself from the omnipresent grey for long enough to forget most days. I think there are ways to make it better, to find solace in solitary pursuits and fantasy. If you haven't, these are worth reading:
"Schizoid personality disorder linked to unbearable and inescapable loneliness" by Willem Martens
"Schizoid Phenomena Object-Relations and the Self" by Harry Guntrip

>>82328489
I feel you man, l'm completely done. The last time l met "friends" was in 2011 and l have't left my shitty flat for ~2 years now. Don't even have any accounts anywhere. I've completely wasted my entire youth like this

>>82327674 (OP)
this is all true for schizotypals too but schizotypals have actual cravings to socialize which is inherently impossible for them

>>82327757
Everyone in my family is either schizophrenic or some different flavor of psychotic, I genuinely have no fucking clue why someone would want to interact with a schizophrenic and I fear becoming schizo all the time

>>82328604
That's still not what schizoid means you absolute fucking retard

>>82327757
I feel an uneasiness around schizos due to being raised by one, I couldn't possibly understand what could draw you to them.
>>82328854
same, the shit runs in my family like the running of the bulls and often develops later in life. I think I'm genuinely done for by time my 30's come about.

>>82328880
This is what schizoid means

>>82328880
>>82328898
Please kill yourself anon, I am begging you

>>82328880
>>82328896
>I feel an uneasiness around schizos due to being raised by one
Same my dad was a paranoid schizo and he was raised by a hebephrenic schizo. The shit he told me he had to go through and the shit I had to go through

>>82328782
You can tell who's really schizoid because they still have the attention span to read books you can't buy in an airport.

>>82327674 (OP)
>>82328489
>>82328604
>>82328643
One of the key traits of schizoids is that they don't care about being alone. Y'all are probably avoidant, who want connections but are unable to form them.

>>82327757
Schizoid and schizophrenic are completely different and generally shouldn't be compared.

>>82328949
schizoid pd is someone who has prodromal schizophrenia symptoms to the point where you can't really differentiate them from someone with prodromal schizophrenia or just has a personality disorder. same with schizotypal

>>82328960
That is not what this means, those are completely different diagnoses. Stop listening to ChatGPT for this kind of stuff

>>82328914
fuck you've got it similar, but worse than I do. my gramps was paranoid schizo who also had full-blown schizoid tendencies since his 20's afaik. dude lived god knows where, off the grid almost until his death. never met him either, but some members of the family say they see alot of him in me including his social outlook, yearning for a nomadic lifestyle, and intelligence. my mother was next in line as a paranoid schizo and fully developed it during her 30's. she taught me more about religious conspiracies and how to live off of the land, rather than how to function on a basic level in modern society. TL;DR, it's bleak, and it seems I've been purposefully geared up to repeat my gramps' story.

all these faggots arguing about muh definitions lmao

>>82327674 (OP)
It's nice seeing a Cluster A thread, I can rest easier knowing that there's people like us here lurking. Most of anyone can't even START to to think what life is like for us.

Is anyone unsure of what's real or not? Or at least starting to doubt?

>>82327674 (OP)
The anhedonia is so not cool man
Not only have I never felt happy or joyful about anything in my entire life but I've also been constantly scolded for being a grump and a killjoy

>>82328999
yes they are completely different diagnosis but what puts them into the "schizophrenia spectrum" is the fact that it is impossible to tell them apart from prodromal schizophrenia

I hate being around people, am I a schizoid/schizoidtypical? Please say no.