Thread 82806679

For as desperate as many robots claim to be, none of them end up willing to put up with stipulations.
>Know how to maintain a home
>Know how to cook
> Have visible abs
>No drugs or marijuana
>No guns
> Don't lock your phone
>Answer when I call you from work to check on you
> No female friends unless you've literally known her since kinder garden or something

I can provide for us I just have non negotiables. What's so wrong with that?

>>82806679 (OP)
What do you have against guns

>>82806679 (OP)
yes, yes, no, yes, yes, no, no one calls me, yes
where gf?

>>82806679 (OP)
What are you offering that would be worth agreeing to any of this? You don't have a hook.

>>82806679 (OP)
>> Have visible abs
nearly impossible for me because I'm a former fatty
>> Don't lock your phone
some girl tried pulling this shit and I told her to fuck off because she talked to everyone on her phone in a different language so it was hardly fair

>>82806679 (OP)
>Know how to maintain a home
>Know how to cook
I guarantee you if I analyzed how you do this you don't know jack shit.

>>82806715
She begrudingly lets you use her hole a few times a year

>>82806679 (OP)
>Yes, Yes, yes, yes, no, no, no, no
You'll have to compromise, sweaty

>>82806679 (OP)
>No guns
Hey I'm just exercising my 2nd amendment rights here, you fucking communist.

>>82806679 (OP)
what do you have to offer in exchange
not even the most high maintenance girl has this check list lmfao

>>82806679 (OP)
>Know how to maintain a home
Not with you in it. That's your job. Women are disgusting and need to clean up after themselves.
>Know how to cook
Not for you and your frozen tendies. I'll assist you in preparing dinner, but we all know you're gonna be the eater that needs French fries every time her period hits
>Have visible abs
When you get a thigh gap and can comfortably throw back anally
>No drugs or marijuana
Fair
>No guns
Stupid
>Don't lock your phone
Psycho
>Answer when I call you from work to check on you
Psycho
>No female friends unless you've literally known her since kinder garden or something
Psycho

I'll pass.

>>82806679 (OP)
>>Know how to maintain a home
most guys are not taught home-maintenance
>>Know how to cook
depends on how fancy you're thinking
>>Have visible abs
that requires working out regularly
>>No drugs or marijuana
easy done
>>No guns
so you don't want to be protected
>>Don't lock your phone
necessary should the phone ever be lost
>>Answer when I call you from work to check on you
texts should suffice
>>No female friends unless you've literally known her since kinder garden or something
many guys these days don't have friends at all, let alone female ones

>What's so wrong with that?
some of your requirements are dumb, others require a lot more to the man than the single bullet point says it requires; it's loaded

>>82806687
>>82806750
This, I inherited guns from my grandparents that were already antiques when they were young. I'm not giving up family heirlooms for a woman.

>>82806679 (OP)
>>Know how to maintain a home
Yeah, just the basics since I'm no tradie
>>Know how to cook
Yes.
>> Have visible abs
No, but I bet you don't either.
>>No drugs or marijuana
I'm a teetotaler.
>>No guns
Fuck you. They are also fine investments and are inflation-proof like gold.
>> Don't lock your phone
I won't, after I move all my hentai pics to my external HDD.
>>Answer when I call you from work to check on you
Okay, don't worry.
>> No female friends unless you've literally known her since kinder garden or something
Don't have any. I assume you will be a friend to me too, thoughbeit.

>>82806775
>he wants abs on his woman
bi

Do foids actually look like this? This chick is so fucking hot, god I love tired/depressed wagie girls.

I don't have abs but the rest are okay

>>82806783
Some do, and they're hidden goddesses. Don't let them know though, or they'll become just like the rest.

>>82806679 (OP)
>Know how to maintain a home
I have cleaning OCD, so I need to make sure things are clean.
>Know how to cook
I mainly bake.
>Have visible abs
Kinda? Picrel is similar to my physique but I'm still bulking :/
>No drugs or marijuana
Most I do is cigars socially on special events.
>No guns
Live in a quiet neighborhood, haven't felt the need to buy one.
>Don't lock your phone
I'm always alone so I started keeping my phone unlocked. More convenient.
>Answer when I call you from work to check on you
Eh, sure. Don't see why not.
>No female friends unless you've literally known her since kinder garden or something
Don't have any. Check

>What's so wrong with that?
I don't like vagina and I only like trans women and femboys.

>>82806679 (OP)
i can do many of these things fembot, now i only have 1 requirement, are u a pawg

>>82806783
her body and face are perfection. Maturing is realizing that a small chest and wide hips is all anyone needs.

>>82806813
>Maturing is realizing that a small chest and wide hips is all anyone needs.
This is literally all I want in a woman, boobs are overrated

>>82806679 (OP)
>I just have non negotiables. What's so wrong with that?
nothing wrong with having non-negotiables, it's when those non-negotiables become like... this, that's where the problem lies

>Know how to maintain a home
>Know how to cook
both fairly reasonable, people should be able to sustain themselves, but being non-negotiable locks you out of people who are willing to learn but don't know yet
>Have visible abs
oddly specific but ok
>No drugs or marijuana
>No guns
again, fair
> Don't lock your phone
>Answer when I call you from work to check on you
> No female friends unless you've literally known her since kinder garden or something
this reeks of paranoia, jealousy, and a lack of trust
it's ok to have things you want to keep for yourself, but if you don't trust the other person, what the fuck are you doing then?
especially the friends restriction, like... again, too insecure

tl;dr some of these demands are fair but some simply reek of distrust

>>82806679 (OP)
>Know how to maintain a home
>Know how to cook
I'm not doing your job for you, foid.

>>82806679 (OP)
>tfw when i check all the requisits but i'm from another country

>>82806832
Shame that the manga is so lackluster and includes that red-haired woman. Women like this are the real succubi.

>>82806679 (OP)
I check literally every box but I'm taken so stop hitting on me silly girl

>>82806679 (OP)
>>No guns
I just wouldn't tell you. I haven't told my mom or my uncle about the AR in my closet since they'd disinherit me. It's my right and my business.
>>Don't lock your phone
There's nothing on it except my dad texting me now and then. My computer, on the other hand, no, you don't get a login for that.
>>No female friends unless you've literally known her since kinder garden or something
How about middle school? (that'd be the early 2000s) If she wants to play vidya with me again and you object, guess which one of you is getting dumped.

>>82806679 (OP)
>Know how to maintain a home
no im horrible at cleaning im sorry
>Know how to cook
i do but thats only because otherwise i cant afford takeout all the time. so i have to cook it myself
> Have visible abs
no, i know how to cook
>No drugs or marijuana
yes, only tea. i dont like drugs besides doing mdma with a girl, which ive never done. i have done mdma powder and i KNOW i will do it with a girl if i ever get one
>No guns
ok
> Don't lock your phone
if i do this, then you have to be into sharing me with other girls. like cuckqueaning or hareming or the like. if not, then its locked
>Answer when I call you from work to check on you
ok? i might be sleeping tho
> No female friends unless you've literally known her since kinder garden or something
no way. i want to date multiple women, please
thats my wish. im very greedy very selfish. sorry its just my dreams. i puts such a wide smile on my face, like nothign else. i need it i need ittttttttt. ill beg you and plead you and try to get you to accept it while i masturbate you
whenever you wrong me and feel guilty, ill get you to alteast tell me its ok and verbally indulge in my harem fantasies, even if you say before "none of this counts, im only saying it to make you happy".

if ultimately i cant, then ill just either suffer with you or be alone or replace you. but i wont be happy, thats for sure

>>82806679 (OP)
We want to be loved for who we are. Your standards are bullshit. You are shallow, paranoid, and conservative. Fuck your standards, men are right to be mad as hell

>>82806679 (OP)
>Know how to maintain a home
yes
>Know how to cook
yes
> Have visible abs
no but thats because im lonely and just dont care but i could if i really wanted to, and i would if someone that loved me wanted me to
>No drugs or marijuana
yes
>No guns
yes
> Don't lock your phone
yes
>Answer when I call you from work to check on you
yes
> No female friends unless you've literally known her since kinder garden or something
yes

are you willing to work with a fixer upper?

>>82806679 (OP)
I would like a gun, but it's negotiable.
I don't have abs.
I also don't have female friends.

>>82806954
come on anon i'm just bored :^(

>>82806679 (OP)
okay but you have to clean any mess you make
I'm already better at cooking than you
that demand is strictly a hot woman privilege
I don't do drugs but you have to be okay with all of my friends being stoners
I'm too cheap to buy guns and ammo and they'd collect dust anyway
that's fine because there are tons of other ways to communicate without you knowing
you're in luck because they're all too busy being married mothers to remember that I exist anymore

>>82806954
this site sucks and the rest of the internet is worse so here I am

>>82806679 (OP)
>>Know how to maintain a home
yes
>>Know how to cook
yes
>> Have visible abs
no
>>No drugs or marijuana
yes
>>No guns
yes
>> Don't lock your phone
yes
>>Answer when I call you from work to check on you
yes
>> No female friends unless you've literally known her since kinder garden or something
yes
this is bait I kno

>>82806679 (OP)
>don't lock your phone
>no female friends
those are massive abuser red flags
t. meets most of the others

>>82807020
>>those are massive abuser red flags
I think that's the joke
and I want to be abused and destroyed

>>82806783
the body shape is natural

>>82806679 (OP)
yes, cars too
yes
no
no
no, but what do you have against guns?
no
yes
lol no

i guess im retarded cuz i dont have gf despite fitting the criteria

>>82806679 (OP)
>no guns
If anything more than a single unarmed gigger nigger comes to the house, I'm sorry but I run faster than you.

>>82806679 (OP)
>>82806723
keked at this

I want what they call a mommy bangmaid. Someone who is competent in basic health and nutrition, neat and orderly, and will provide excellent childcare.
No guns and no drugs are unreasonable. It's not a meal if there's no wine or beer, and bitters after a large meal is important. Also alcohol is a good source of energy. Wanting visible abs would almost necessitate some drug use. Caffeine is a common ingredient in pre-workout, and aperetifs are useful in stimulating appetite for something that needs high caloric intake like maintaining visible abs. Guns are a non-negotiable. I wouldn't require my wife to enjoy them, but I would demand she demonstrate competence and basic knowledge of their use. In the event I am not there with her to protect her she would have to be responsible for safety. Not just for herself but also our children.
Locking phones is weird, sensitive information should only be stored on the computer or if it must be on the phone, secured with biometric locks. Financial information is one thing but there are laws about handling client data, even if married the law does not allow a spouse to access private information on a whim, you'd need to be employed by them and given permission to access their files.
As for answering the phone, you should probably be flexible there. Not everyone keeps notifications turned on, and besides the fact you should not work if you plan to be a wife, if you are working you should do so diligently and only make personal communication during breaks.
You give off intense lesbian energy, and homosexuals are inherently untrustworthy. You also make it clear that you would be a bad mother. These two problems are the biggest ones you should try to address first before seeking a husband.