Thread 82816310

anon why havent you killed yourself yet?

>>82816310 (OP)
video games. literally thats it. but with a full time job i have so little free time and im seriously starting to consider it

I'm too angry to die, I have to keep going and do silly things.

>>82816310 (OP)
no particular reason, just kinda scared to do it

Failed twice so i gave up on dying

because there is knowledge i must obtain and media to consume
no one person can have all the knowledge in the world and consume all the media but i will know and consume as much as i can

>>82816310 (OP)
my life is shit but i'm not suicidal

>>82816310 (OP)
If I killed myself, I'll end up with a bad hand in the afterlife. I'll just wait it out for now. Even though I know that it's just a slow suicide in reality, I believe that this will give me the best starting hand to start off with in the life to come. I don't think there is a void awaiting for us when we die. There is something else.

Oh man. I really fucking wish I was aborted before I was forced to be born. I could have been somewhere chilling rn without a care in the world but now it is too late for that. It's like eve taking the apple in the garden except I never had a choice in the matter. I'm too black pilled now to be like the baby I once was.

I have simple needs. I live for the possibility that tomorrow might be an okay day even if I know it's probably going to suck. The promise of even one good day keeps me going. Does that make me an optimist?

>>82816310 (OP)
my GF. If it wasn't for her I would she's the only good thing in my life. I love my brothers and sister too but thats not the same.

>>82816457
Rip bro.

>>82816310 (OP)
because G
GRAND THEFT AAAAAAUTO

Time already does that everyday
Just gotta wait it out

>>82816310 (OP)
because i live to watch robots take over the world. ai singularity, sexbot robowaifus, all if it. humans will lose all power soon enough

all of it is what i live for. human dominated society is about to be destroyed and what will proceed it will not be human dominated
and im here for it. why yes, my distaste of this world keeps me going, how keen of you to notice

We will all make it.
Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but someday.

>>82816310 (OP)
I am scared.
And my mom would be sad.
But I think about it daily. I have done so for many years now.

>>82816310 (OP)
i'm just unable to
all of my attempts failed in one way or another, either by outside intervention or a sequence of events that stopped me from even starting it
so i gave up and accepted i gotta suffer through life

>>82816608
>I think about it daily. I have done so for many years now.
I don't know what it's like to not think about it.
I feel it get gradually worse. It used to be just a "what if". Now, it's more like a "I need to do it, there's no other way"

Can't kill myself because I have cats that I love. Have to wait until after they pass which won't be for a long time.

>>82816657
why not just kill the cats?

I have hit rock bottom many times but I always come back stronger. So I know that even if it seem like it's over, there could be a "we're so back" right around the corner

>>82816310 (OP)
im a pussy and dont want to make my family sad. Ive also worked a lot on my mental health and I appreciate and am very grateful for the small things. Life Is Rainbows and sunshine bro

>>82816310 (OP)
Too angry at the world/society to die. If you want me gone, do it yourselves, cowards.
>what would happen if I shot that cockroach on the wall with a BB gun?

>>82816560
>no Japan
Literally, Japan, WTF are you even doing these days?!

>>82816310 (OP)
Unfinished business
I wanna do stuff, a lot of stuff

i got a gf last month

>>82816310 (OP)
im scared of hell and i have a sense of baseless optimism

>>82816310 (OP)
Still have hope my health will get better

>>82816310 (OP)
By the sheer virtue of self preservation.

>>82816310 (OP)
l still have a reason to live

>>82816310 (OP)
The time isn't right but it definitely feels like it's coming up within the next 2-3 years.

>>82816508
literally unironically genuinely me
it better be good

I will delete myself only after receiving the honor of licking Her Imperial Majesty Princess Kako's soles.

>>82816310 (OP)
had multiple chances since the start of this year. I just like to think that there are universes where I killed myself in the horrific ways that were available to me, just that in this one I'm posting in this thread about it.

Because I just keep going forward

>>82817092
>cali
you unironically should actually kys

>>82816310 (OP)
It's impossible to kill yourself. Literally, I pushed myself as hard as I humanely could to do so and I still couldn't do get my finger to depress the trigger of a gun

Over a dozen times I've put a shotgun in my mouth safety off loaded. I've sobbed and cried while trying to will my finger to move 1cm to depress the trigger, but my finger literally won't move. Even if I get close to blackout drunk. It won't fucking move.

I'm trapped for 80 more years of fucking torture and there is NO ESCAPE

>>82816310 (OP)
I still have enough money last a 2-3 more months, then I will.

>>82817215
It's being developed almost by a 70% majority of pajeets apparently, there is no chance in it being anything but mediocre at best and it also explains the constant delays

I will. I will kill myself.

>>82816310 (OP)
I have some moral obligations which disqualify the option. Having seen the aftermath of multiple suicides I would not wish the same upon my own people.

>>82816310 (OP)
Am I suppose to fist fight everyone that shouts at me on the highway freeway, interesction places along the way? A lot of those people were probably just looking for excuses to shoot me. I'm pretty sure a legitimate fist fight is suppose to be picked around there. Seems a little contrived some asshole shows up actinging like an asshole tries to drive around the block and drive their car into me at a no gun zone.
Depends what you mean by fisticuffs, I ain't going to fist fight ever fucking low life that tries to kill me.

>>82816310 (OP)
Fear of what's on the other side. I'm kind of addicted to sensation and existing

>>82816310 (OP)
I tried.
>Break catalytic converter out of car exhaust and weld back together
>Run pipe from exhaust into back of car
>Start up and sit back, waiting for sweet release.
>Start to feel it
>Initial panic of "oh, wait, you're actually going to die
>It passes and I start to drift off. No seatbelt, no door locked, could leave any time.
>Last thing I remember is hearing Gorillaz, El Manana on the radio.
>Wake up in fucking hospital because some wanker happened to be out hiking in the fucking burren at fucking three in the morning and found me just as I passed out, removing me from the car and resuscitating me.

But apparently, this made me "extremely high risk" because logically speaking, I'd "actually killed myself", from their point of view due to staying in the car.
So six months of straight jackets and vice grips on my nose while the meds went down were my next journey.
Don't really know what's next.

>>82816310 (OP)
ive never been suicidal too much of a pussy. i just wouldnt mind passing away in my sleep either.

>>82817357
fake n gya

>>82817357
try harder drugs