Thread 82912637

Thread for discussions about selfharm and mutual support

nya nya nyaaa

Hello
>How are you doing today?
>Any plans for today?
>When was the last time you hurt yourself?
>Why did you hurt yourself?
>Is there anything bothering you right now?

hii
Here's a bunch of helpful links

> long list of self harm alternatives (thank you muddy):
https://imgur.io/a/7Q2zgw7

> first aid post cuting:
https://www.lifesigns.org.uk/first-aid-for-self-injury-and-self-harm/

> wound care guide:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CsvJs8qNCVkHWHKekMSmCn6qn0GBEcgnq9fIqlA6Uv0/mobilebasic

>a bpd workbook:
https://d-pdf.com/book/1781/read

>a bpd Information Book (anon said it's exceptionally good)
https://annas-archive.org/md5/1a4f329474320214a120a4d553c6b60c

> bdbt (dialectical behavioral therapy)
workbook is intended for BPD but can work for anyone:
https://cursosdepsicologia.com.ar/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/THEDIA1.pdf

Please don't post any drastic images and if you have to, spoiler them

>>82912637 (OP)
hi cat, hru

>>82912637 (OP)
happy caturday cat!
how are you? Hope well after yesterday

>>82906702
> if i eat i feel contaminated if that makes sense.
yeah sort of. I had that feeling before. Is this tied to body image issues as well? Like concerned about weight gain or something despite being underweight? Any reason you think you started thinking like this? For me it was originally an obsession with fitness stemming from struggles with girls when I started college, that let an obsession that eventually led me to just starving myself. Thing is, usually is "something" that triggers this type of thing I feel. Even if it's a prolonged experience.
The dangerous part is I think you think less rationally when you're at that point. I knew I was killing myself with what I was doing, but kept going with it anyway despite I knew it was bad for me, despite I knew it made me look horrible, I still couldn't help it.
>like that i'm able to "improve" something at last.
the thing is, that's not an improvement. It's terrible and thinking it's an improvement is something your brain tells you when you're like this to try to reward itself for doing something dangerous. I used to think this way too, but weight isn't a problem. Body fat being too low is literally dangerous and can mess up all sort of things. Understand it's hard to change thinking and maybe "eating normal" isn't a good option for someone trying to get healthier in that case, but trying to make sure you're getting enough calories to maybe gain a little more or keep your weight from falling more is important. Maybe even drinking them through shakes a few times a day. Anything to make it easier.
>if you can't beat them, join em
Know it's hard and none of the advice I give can really change how you think, but this is something you really have to at least stabilize if you can. Even keeping weight from falling more is a start.

>>82913204
ello
I was on a bike ride today so doing pretty well
How are you?

>>82913213
Hello
I had a nice time bikeridin :>
how are you?
>Hope well after yesterday
yep heh I actually forgot about it ^^

>>82912637 (OP)
>When was the last time you hurt yourself?
July this year. I relapsed after three years of abstinence.

>Why did you hurt yourself?
Probably because I still cant deal with my emotions. I went through a breakup this summer and my ex texted me that day. I think that just broke down my last defenses and all my bottled up stress got unleashed.

>Is there anything bothering you right now?
The cuts healed after a few weeks, but when I touch the scars, there is a weird tingling sensation all over my lower arm. Thats kinda worrying, but it doesnt seem to get worse.

Whats actually bothering me is that, even after months of therapy, Im still not stable. After my relapse I got very careful. I didnt touch any alcohol and focused on the things that made me happy and gave me confidence. That worked out pretty well until this week. I got sick and had to stay home for a few days. This completely threw me back into a lot of dark thoughts. I started drinking again and slowly went back down this dark path which sooner or later ends in SH. Im getting better so I dont think that I will hurt myself again anytime soon, but its a daunting feeling to know how fragile my mental health is.

>>82913204
hey cynic, how's your weekend going?

>>82913371
>nice time bikeridin
nice! How's the weather there? It's a bit chilly today here
>how are you?
okay. Visited family for a bit. Feeling a bit of a headache right now myself but not too bad

>>82913429
hi anon
> I relapsed after three years of abstinence.
that's a pretty long time you went without doing it so that's good and good you're not making it a habit.
>went through a breakup
honestly, that context understand why you did it. Always a bad experience i think no matter how they go.
>but its a daunting feeling to know how fragile my mental health
honestly, that's how I think most people are. You sound like you're doing pretty well for yourself overall, but one bad day (or week in your case) can push a lot of people back into old bad habits. If you're feeling better now that's great, but just need to remind yourself best you can that even if you're stuck inside a few days, you won't be always

>>82913429
Hello anon
>relapsed after three years of abstinence.
hey still good job on those 3 years
you think you could make it another 3 again?
>went through a breakup
sorry to hear that
and how are you holding up now?
>a weird tingling sensation all over my lower arm
might be nerve damage
>daunting feeling to know how fragile my mental health is.
yeap probably but if you can't change it you can try to notice it getting worse early and try to reduce the damage it might cause
At least it's something about yourself you know now that you didn't know earlier

>>82913847
>How's the weather there?
chilling but I just put a bunch of clothes on and it did the trick
>Visited family
whsbit enjoyable?
>Feeling a bit of a headache right now
oh my :/
hopefully it passes
maybe you could take some pills?

>>82912637 (OP)
yo cat!
hru? how was your caturday? how's the weekend going?

>>82906335
>that are harder to walk back from
you're right, things like that might happen
i'll take care

>kinda hard to overlook the good memories.
keeping the relationship for the old good memories but at what cost mate
but i understand you, don't worry
i wanted to say maybe you could talk to them about what annoys you about them but might not be the best thing to do since >manipulative
do you have any plans to get rid of them?

>>82906702
>i'd sound like a broken record at this point. mainly just inactivity and failure to stay happy the little things i still enjoy.
chill mate, i hope sleeping made you feel better. how are you today? are you still feeling that way?

>>82914208
hey fren
how r u???
>how was your caturday?
I was on a bikeride and it was nice ^^
met a cute puppy

>>82914290
>bikeride and it was nice
glad you can have those from time to time :>
>met a cute puppy
woah puppy! what color was it?

>how r u
fine, today was nice, studying went well i only have to study a tiiiiny bit more and all will be good for tomorrow
now starts the week of exams, there will be an exam eveyrday xd

>>82914367
yh that's me "/

Hello everyone. Just checking in for the day. How has ya'll's days been so far?

>>82914072
>did the trick
nice! I was at the point I was happy it's cold here so I was walking around without a hoodie or jacket then realized it's actually too cold and put it on
> enjoyable?
eh it was okay. Everyone just fights and I don't say much. Played Yu Gi Oh against my brother a few times and that was it.
>hopefully it passes
thanks. me too. Think I just need more sleep.

>>82914208
hey rm, how are you?
>i'll take care
All I ask you to do. Do what you have to and feel right for
>do you have any plans to get rid of them?
not at all. Everyone around me tells me to. I had a therapist tell me, my gf told me to, and several others I've talked to have, but can't do it. Problem is this friend helped me when I was at the worst and most worthless point of my life when basically everyone else turned away and genuinely tried to help me improve. More than even my family did. I know she's not at all a nice person and pressured me into making terrible decisions but i still care too much to do anything differently.

>>82914524
That's tragic mate, I understand you better now. I'm so sorry you're going through this type of relationship.
And it makes a lot of sense, this kind of attachment runs deep, like she was there for you at your lowest, not a just simple "good memory", but gratitude doesn't mean you have to keep being hurt mate. she was there for you but that doesn't mean she was everything, she helped you but you're the one who went through everything bad, thus, you don't owe her your happiness.

>how are you
kinda fine today, wbu?

>>82913371
>I was on a bike ride today so doing pretty
Sounds like a good weekend.
>How are you?
still holding in there. writing, playing alien. went on a run. I almost went out to see CSM, but i don't know anyone who would be interested.
>>82913847
>how's your weekend going?
Just playing video games I guess.
>>82914208
hi rem, ya feeling better?

>>82914367
>glad you can have those
me too :3
I wonder how many more I'll have this year
probably not a lot, it's getting a little cold
>>82914367
>what color was it?
many :o
I think it was an australian shepherd or a blue merle border collie puppy
very cute and very friendly little guy
>tiiiiny bit more and all will be good for tomorrow
that's great!
I'm glad you had a good day
whatcha gonna do after ur done studying?
>there will be an exam eveyrday xd
dw I'm sure you'll will pass them all!! because you are the very best
and smart :>

>>82914501
Heya wazzup?
>How has ya'll's days been so far?
I was on a bike ride ao that was fun
hows your day been?

>>82914524
>then realized it's actually too cold and put it on
heh
at least you were smart enough to bring the hoodie with you
>Everyone just fights
of course :/
>Think I just need more sleep.
hope you can get it
and plans for tomorrow btw?

>>82914877
>Sounds like a good
yep for sure
I'm glad the weather allowed it
>writing, playing alien. went on a run
sounds good
how was your run? is it getting cold where you are too?
>don't know anyone who would be interested
maybe you could to alone?

>>82914877
cynic!
>feeling better?
kinda, but feelings are disturbed and yeah my mood isn't really nice now
what about you?

hey guys. hope you're all doing fine. im doing okay ig

>>82915119
>getting a little cold
the time when we should wear comfy clothes and sit have a comfy cozy sleep while it's raining outside.. mmmmm
i wish i could have a lovely winter without studying...

>australian shepherd
mhm i see :>
all puppies are cute anyways no need to know the breed :]

>glad you had a good day
thanks!! glad you 2 had a good day

>when ur done studying
i think i will sleep now and finish studying when i wake up, it's okay it won't take a lot of time, i hope so :]

>you'll pass them all
thanks :>>>>
>and smart
qudiqsididdeirfifd :>>>>>
thank you cat :)
good night everyone

goinn to sleep gn ^^

>>82915154
hello
I'm good, was on a nice bikeride
>im doing okay ig
okay ig doesn't sound too good
wanna say what's been keeping you guessing if you're okay?
whatever it is hopefully it goes better
what did you do today btw? and new figs painted?? how are the kitties doing?

>>82915220
>wish i could have a lovely winter without studying
same :<
do you have some sort of winter school break?
>all puppies are cute anyway
I agree
but it supposed me how bright it was, haven't seen a dog like that before
do you have any dogs? you have a cat right?
>glad you 2 had a good day
thnak u
>think i will sleep now
have lovely dreams
>qudiqsididdeirfifd :>>>>>
>thank you cat :)
you're welcome :D
goodnight

>>82915119
>is it getting cold where you are too?
yeah but it's nice not drowning in heat.
>>82915447
Good night cat
>>82915139
>what about you?
A little lazy desu, but not that bad

>>82915119
Not too bad so far. Just picked up when I had to make dinner, but besides that been a chill day

>>82915447
>was on a nice bikeride
sounds fun, how far did you go?
>doesn't sound too good
eh i'm alright, just still a bit pissed about the miniatures. i'm gonna take a break for a bit i think. I did strip off one of the miniatures but it was kinda hard to do.
>what's been keeping you guessing
eh i'm not sure, just kinda sad lol. might play a bit of total war if i can, have a few things i wanna try out.
>what did you do today btw?
was looking for isopropanol but couldn't find it anywhere, so instead i bought some gsw paint stripper. it didn't work as well as i wanted to but it still worked i guess.
>and new figs painted??
not yet, might do it later this week.
>how are the kitties doing?
picrel
>

i couldnt think of a better place to ask this so ill ask it here: is hitting yourself or biting yourself count as self harm

>>82916495
i think yes, always was considered it back in psychwards. but most ppl refer to it as cutting, so can get kinda confusing without specifying it. but feel free to leave it as vague as sh if u like.

>>82916517
ah okay. thanks dude

>>82912637 (OP)
I've been on a bit of a bender this weekend. I am experiencing harassment at work. My boss belittles me. I think part of it is that she is pregnant, which makes it hard to speak out about it.

I am not the only one. The only employee she is kind to is the trans employee, but she also goes out of her way to misgender that employee so I think it's also a power ploy and because she acts "nice" that employee won't report her. Which sucks because that's our best chance of getting some kind of justice here.