Thread 82981108

Thread for discussions about selfharm and mutual support

kittyday ^^

hey
>How are you doing today?
>Any plans for today?
>When was the last time you hurt yourself?
>Why did you hurt yourself?
>Is there anything bothering you right now?
>How are you spending this halloween?

hiii
Here's a bunch of helpful links

>a long list of self harm alternatives (thank you muddy):
https://imgur.io/a/7Q2zgw7

> first aid post cuting:
https://www.lifesigns.org.uk/first-aid-for-self-injury-and-self-harm/

> wound care guide:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1CsvJs8qNCVkHWHKekMSmCn6qn0GBEcgnq9fIqlA6Uv0/mobilebasic

> bpd workbook:
https://d-pdf.com/book/1781/read

> bpd Information Book (anon said it's exceptionally good)
https://annas-archive.org/md5/1a4f329474320214a120a4d553c6b60c

> bdbt (dialectical behavioral therapy)
workbook is intended for BPD but can work for anyone:
https://cursosdepsicologia.com.ar/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/THEDIA1.pdf

Please don't post any drastic images and if you have to, spoiler them

>>82981108 (OP)
hello cat! hru?
>Any plans for today?
just the usual, i'll chill and study before sleeping

>>82973533
>hope I get to pet it
i hope too :)
>you have a cat right?
yup, i have 3
>at least it's not super cold yet
yeah i suppose it's good there
>the night are always comfy now
might be the best thing lol, i like cold weather overall
> I get those sometimes but they're small, have I ever told you about it?
woah dude that's a thing, and you never told me about
i'd like to know more tho! if you wanna talk about it ofc
>brave
lol thanks


>>82974431
>we go to businesses run by psychopaths and sell our souls since it's too hard to get by otherwise.
which is really boring and disappointing
and it really is annoying how almost no one can start anything new and useful unless if they had enough money, which is almost impossible for the people who just wanna buy food and live life
capitalism sounds more annoying when you realize that the only beneficiaries are the companies :/

>Can always have a good surprise even if unlikely
well i guess we'll know what happened when you come back and tell us :D

Went to mall and walked around a bit. Shopping a bit, had some food, and then played more games. Pic related is my new favorite of the rhythm games. Have these little drum stick you have to tap the screen as the song plays. Also got a prize figure from a machine without much trouble which is pretty neat.

>>82981108 (OP)
happy caturday cat! How are you doing?
>How are you spending this halloween?
do we get two spoooky days this year? D:

>>82981776
hey rm!
>really boring and disappointing
don't know if I said it here or not, but no kid ever says I want to be a business analysist and add shareholder value when I grow up! most people hate the work they do. And work is work end of the day, but it's so damn annoying how they make it so difficult to get it (you have to pretend you love doing soulless work no one would enjoy)
>capitalism sounds more annoying when you realize that the only beneficiaries are the companies
It's difficult because there's no denying there's been some overall good for a lot of people from the system. Problem is, the system has always been okay throwing people to starve and die if they can't keep up with it. It offered benefits to the masses for the longest time because it needed lots of people to run. My ultimate fear is as technology reaches the point they feel they can do more with less, they will not hesitate to push everyone into poverty and starvation without a second's hesitation. Unemployment here is rising steadily, companies are still firing despite a supposedly strong economy, and they've given up even trying to solve inflating and just said fuck it! All at the time the government is in shambles and people are about to lose food stamps.
>what happened when you come back
all according to plan, no nasty unexpected surprises fake goodness

>>82981776
Heyaa
i'm good, relaxing listening to music and I'm gonna watch another scary movie soon ^^
>i'll chill and study before sleeping
have a nice time and hopefully the study session goes well!!
>yup, i have 3
woaaaa :o
that's wo cute
how old are they? give em a headpat from me
>like cold weather overall
the colder the better?
>never told me about
oh, well now I did :>
>if you wanna talk about it ofc
if you have any questions ask away ^^
it's usually little things like when I look at the ground and zone out I may see a little bug or a spider skittering around or, that's a strange one, when I'm in a moving car and it slowly stops if I look at the asphalt on the road it will appear to be flowing like a river but it's not super noticable and other example, if I quickly look at a dark corners sometimes my mind will interpret random stuff in there like objects and shadows as, for example, a dog but it'll very quickly disappear and I'll realize it's just random stuff

>>82981986
Helloo
>Shopping a bit, had some food, and then played more games
sounds like fun :D
glad you had some of that
>Also got a prize
what's the prize??
>How are you doing?
chilling and jamming to miusik
Will watch some scary movie
>two spoooky days this year? D:
I'm sure it's halloween somewhere in the world right now

>>82981986
hey officeanon!
>Also got a prize figure from a machine
a whole prize figure? damn dude i don't see that lately

>you have to pretend you love doing soulless work no one would enjoy
isn't there a chance of getting another job tho?

>It offered benefits to the masses for the longest time because it needed lots of people to run
i see your point but i still believe that all of this may somehow lead to the biggest benefit for companies, as if at the end they only work for themselves which won't be a problem if people got anything good from them but i don't think that's always happening

>technology reaches the point
>they will not hesitate to push everyone into poverty
oh by the way, have you ever thought of a good solution for this? AI for example used to make me worry about programming related jobs but i could deal with it in my mind by saying "nah AI can't replace actual programmers" but we can't really rely on this assumption. thoughts?

>all according to plan
now that's cool!

>>82982224
>i'm good
glad to hear that!
>I'm gonna watch another scary movie soon
enjoy!
>have a nice time and hopefully the study session goes well
thanks!! :D

>how old are they?
1 is like 5 years old iirc
the second one is 4 or 3 years old iirc again
the third one is still a baby i guess, my family took it from the streets i guess, i think it's few months old :D
>give em a headpat from me
done for 2 of them but couldn't find the third one xD

>the colder the better?
yk sometimes yeah

>if you have any questions ask away
my brain is a bit fogged currently, if i got any question later i'll ask you :]
>it will appear to be flowing like a river
:O !
woah man, does it bother you? it feels strange but what if your brain actually made you believe there's a river :?

>a dog but it'll very quickly disappear and I'll realize it's just random stuff
that's the closest one to a ghost right?
but oh so at the beginning you think it's real then you realize it's not? does it take a long time to realize it's random sometimes?

Hello /cut/, it's me again. I'm trying my best not to email her again but I can't help but worry she's not safe. If she doesn't want me in her life that's fine, but she didn't sound well in that recording she left me. Not at all.
She said she wouldn't kill herself twice but that just makes me think she will, or is threatening to. She also said she had a box cutter and would cut herself if she found out I contacted anyone in her life, or kill herself with pills if she had to. I'm really scared.

went to a archery competition thing, couldn't compete but was fun to watch everyone

>>82974431
guess so, just life sucks. skating is very cool

>>82981108 (OP)
good morning cat

>>82981986
malls are very fun
>rhythm games
rhythm games are hard as hell i feel

>>82982357
>glad to hear that!
ty ^^
>enjoy!
though I'm not sure what to watch heh
>thanks!! :D
no problem
do you have a lot to study?
>5 years old iirc
>the second one is 4
cute
I'm guessing they're good buddies given they've been together for ao long?
>third one is still a baby
awww ^w^
>done for 2 of them
I appreciate it
>couldn't find the third one xD
I'm sure he'll show up eventually :>
>sometimes yeah
I don't mind the cold but it also doesn't get all that cold here anymore, we don't really even get snow in winter
>if i got any question later i'll ask you :]
okay, there's no rush
>does it bother you?
nooe, I can only really see if if I focus
>what if your brain actually made you believe there's a river :?
I don't think that could happen to me, I feel those slightly hallucinations only made me more rational because I don't immediately believe everything I see, that's also why I'm very sceptical of, if not deny, paranormal stuff
>closest one to a ghost right?
I guess but it doesn't happen often at all nowadays, it would be more common when I was a kid and was a bit afraid of dogs
>think it's real then you realize it's not?
not really I don't think there's actually a dog there it more like, "huh this looks sorta like a dog" but it disappears as soon as I focus mr eyes on it
it kinda like looking at an optical illusion,
>does it take a long time to realize it's random sometimes?
nope, it takes maybe half a second if not less

>>82982492
Hello
>my best not to email her again b
do not do that
>she didn't sound well
I'm not trying to be mean, but she's probably alright and if not she probably doesn't want your help
It's best not to get involved
>contacted anyone in her life
why? does she think you're gonna spill her secrets or something?

>>82982631
Heyo
>archery competition
sounds like you really enjoy archery huh? ^^
And how's your day going other than that competition?

>>82982224
>glad you had some of that
yeah, you do anything fun today?
>what's the prize??
Hatsune Miku figure. Was easy enough to win and it was Taito figure which are very good quality for such cheap figures.
>I'm sure it's halloween somewhere in the world right now
hate to ruin it, but past that point now. Think it's actually november 2nd some places already D:

>>82982346
>prize figure?
I've bought prize figures online from Japan before. I know that's a big thing there to have those claw games and more with figures, but never saw till found an arcade skewed towards Japanese stuff. Really love it
>another job
I've worked in software development many years now. Never really cared at all about it, but wanted money and was decent enough at it. No matter where I work, still won't care and not really an ideal time to try to start something new
>somehow lead to the biggest benefit for companies
no doubt. Any benefit to society has been by coincidental benefit of the greedy folks running things. The problem with greed is it always wants more and will always look for ways to get more
>replace actual programmers
This is a bit of a complex one. In the current state, I don't think it can replace all tech work, but can it can remove the need for junior developers especially since it performs as well as junior devs(which is a big problem too and why so many cs majors are unemployed). If it progresses and becomes more advanced, as technology does, it can and would replace developers and anyone who says anything else is coping. People also say there's more to tech than coding, but what if AI is integrated into managing infrastructure, designing, etc. Maybe there's one human involved, but is the team of 12 it used to take needed anymore? We already have more people than need work than jobs available. I've got no solution except hope that if the tech advances to the point AI achieves something resembling consciousness that it hates the ruling class bullshit too

>>82982710
>you do anything fun today?
hm not much actually
visited some family but that wasn't very fun I'm not really a family guy ya know
And how was your shopping? you found any cool clothes?
>Hatsune Miku figure.
:o
I'm jellous i lob migu!
>it's actually november 2nd some places already D:
that's true but there's also christmas somewhere in the world right now I'm sure of it

>>82982676
>do not do that
Email her or not email her?
>It's best not to get involved
Most people have told me not to... It's hard though. She was the most important person in my life for 6 months, then she immediately dropped me the instant her life had another setback.
>why? does she think you're gonna spill her secrets or something?
I have no idea. I think it's because I contacted a bunch of people when she attempted suicide to see if she was still alive. Some she'd rather I didn't. Eventually her mother got back to me with the hospital room she was in. She explicitly told me not to contact her...

>>82982492
hey anon! Didn't reply yesterday but meant to reply if you came back. Was going to say I hear you on your worries the other day, but a lot of it is in your mind. In a bad place now, but first girlfriend is harder than the second even if you're older. Shoot I'm even older than you and see other older people doing fine, so just try not to be too hard over that. That said...
> I can't help but worry she's not safe. If she doesn't want me in her life that's fine, but she didn't sound well in that recording she left me.
Problem is, her personality problems being what they are I don't think you can take this too seriously. they have a tendency to do this because they know it unsettles you. People who are really at risk don't give such detailed statements as anything other than a threat and to make you miserable.

>>82982631
hey gator!
>couldn't compete but was fun to watch everyone
most enjoyable things to watch are the things you yourself do. Glad you had fun
>just life sucks
it has it's good moments too even
>rhythm games are hard as hell i feel
I'm actually surprisingly decent with them. I feel like I'm going to get addicted.

>>82981108 (OP)
cut myself.
and so it ends. im short and skinny af and cant even twinkmaxx anymore because the norwood reaper stole my hairline and with it my sanity. and to think i wanted to grow my hair out. theres no coping my way out of this. its over

>>82982816
didn't see this post here before I replied back btw so that kinda changes my response quite a bit, sorry. Still some relevance overall, but get your concern much more.. Just didn't know the background

>>82982676
>sounds like you really enjoy archery huh? ^^
yup it's super fun really only thing i have going on in my life
>how's your day going other than that competition?
it's been okay, still very sick. how's your day been?

>>82982818
>most enjoyable things to watch are the things you yourself do.
yeah nice to actually know what's happening hehe
>has it's good moments too even
maybe
>feel like I'm going to get addicted.
oh lol they do sound fun to get addicted to if your good at them

>>82982881
twink death sucks, but there's maybe stuff you could do to help your hair idk tho losing hair sucks

>>82982818
>People who are really at risk don't give such detailed statements as anything other than a threat and to make you miserable.
I suppose that makes sense. I just don't understand why she would do that, but I guess there's no point in trying to reason when someone's like that.

>>82982909
>that kinda changes my response quite a bit
I see. I should clarify she explicitly told me not to contact her mother or friend this time (going as far as saying not to be like "she told me not to talk but"), not during/before the suicide attempt.
Thank you for your perspective, by the way.

>>82982789
> some family but that wasn't very fun
very rarely is. Know it's one of those things I usually dread. Have a big gathering next weekend and I don't want to go at all.
>how was your shopping? you found any cool clothes?
went well, but mostly cheap shirts and some manga volumes I needed
>I'm jellous i lob migu!
I didn't have a an opinion before, but getting into these games I am starting to be fond of her. It's a pretty nice figure I got too as I said.
>christmas somewhere in the world right now I'm sure of it
In the Philippines of course! Where they start in September!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_in_the_Philippines

>>82982881
tis a thing most men who go through it are quite bothered by anon. how old are you anyway? at a certain point it matters a lot less anyway since that's just a good chunk of guys. Feel bad see kids as young as 18 going through that shit already

>>82982937
>yeah nice to actually know what's happening
think you can appreciate the effort. I've never touched archery, heard it's a lot different than what you'd expect actually pulling the bows back
> do sound fun to get addicted to if your good at them
and even if not good, can also be fun at easier settings! lol Felt kind awkward at first, but really don't care that much

>>82983247
>no point in trying to reason when someone's like that.
yeah.. Sometimes people think too differently to really rationalize. I have a close relationship to someone who is the picture of how people would describe a psychopath(like the business focused kind). Absolutely shitty and cruel person, who I unfortunately care about too much despite it all and it drives me insane trying to understand sometimes.
> told me not to contact her mother or friend this time
this was the part I was mixed up on. Never know how close people are when they post stories, but by the sound of it sounds like you were and I completely get your fear and wanting to do more. That said, still think she's probably just saying it, but maybe give it time if she's going through something that set her back like you mentioned. Probably still best to sit where you are, but if you are genuinely concerned and preface any contact with her family that you're letting them know you are concerned about something she said, I don't think that would be horrible either. Sure they know she has these problems at this point to and acting out of worry isn't a bad thing.

>>82983441
>how old are you anyway?
young
and the meds arent helping so i will be forced to cut it all off

>>82983486
>Absolutely shitty and cruel person, who I unfortunately care about too much despite it all and it drives me insane trying to understand sometimes.
I'm sorry to hear that, it sounds like a real pain.
>still think she's probably just saying it, but maybe give it time if she's going through something that set her back like you mentioned.
To be honest I half expect to wake up to a drunk email this week where she regrets breaking up with me, since I've already had that once before.
>preface any contact with her family that you're letting them know you are concerned about something she said
I may do this if I don't see any signs of life from her soon, even if it's just asking her mother to keep an eye on her for a bit, but I worry she might find out I emailed somehow and use that as an excuse to hurt herself.

>>82982816
>her or not email her?
don't email
>Most people have told me not to...
yep because if you do it'll probably make things worse for you and for her
But that's just my opinion

>>82982937
>super fun really only thing i have going on in my life
it's a nice hobby :]
and that's okay am I mean I only have bikes and when the weather is good I have making maps
>still very sick.
:<<
> how's your day been?
just a chill day ^^
listened to music and now I'm watching the grudge
what are ya doin?
maybe you should watch some spooky movies too if ur bored?

>>82983441
>Have a big gathering next weekend and I don't want to go at all
why go then?
I mean, they probably won't hate you just because you didn't show up to one gathering
>cheap shirts and some manga volumes I needed
yet another great find!
>starting to be fond of her
((((join the hive mind!!))))
(((we have leeks)))
>In the Philippines of course
see I was right
so I'm sure there the same deal with halloween

>>82983441
>never touched archery, heard it's a lot different than what you'd expect actually pulling the bows back
it's not actually too different from what I'd assume just aim release
>can also be fun at easier settings!
very true anything can be fun good or bad

>>82983890
>that's okay am I mean I only have bikes and when the weather is good I have making maps
well still those are super cool and interesting and fun ! and I've only started archery like 2 weeks ago o.O
>listened to music and now I'm watching the grudge
okay that's cool and heard it was good
>what are ya doin?
playing game with parents
>should watch some spooky movies too if ur bored?
will do sounds amazing!

>>82984096
>>82984096
> super cool and interesting and fun !
archery is those things too
>and I've only started archery like 2 weeks ago o.O
it's never too late to find something to do
I've only started making maps when I was like 20 and before that I wasn't interested at all in anything similar to making maps other than maybe playing minecraft
>cool and heard it was good
not that scary but at least it something to watch
I'm watching in here since the usual website is not working now
https://watchseries.bar/movie/the-grudge/1970
>game with parents
oo nice ^^
what game is it of you can say?
>will do sounds amazing!
oo do you know what you gonna watch?

day 0
was sober for 112 days, it was a good run.
gg
why do i always resort to such solutions. fuck

>>82984370
Hello
why did you cut ?
sorry to hear that but also good job, 112 days it a lot of days ya know
Do you think you will be able to get another 100+ days?

>>82983574
>meds arent helping
heard they don't for a lot of people. Sorry anon. Not a lot I can say. I'm of the opinion thinning doesn't seem that bad and think the "have to cut it all" is always necessary. Other things to do, but mostly just covering it up.

>>82983798
>sounds like a real pain.
it is, but I learn to live with it. Honestly, wouldn't put up with at all if it wasn't for the fact she was the first person who came into my life, stuck around, and seemed to care. Don't think she ever did the way I wanted her to at this point, but really can't forget everything after being alone so long too.
> half expect to wake up to a drunk email
was gonna say I had the same thought when I heard more of your situation. Didn't want you to get hopes up, but if there was really no reason for this I'm pretty confident you haven't heard the last of her.
>she might find out I emailed somehow and use that as an excuse to hurt herself.
honestly, if she would do it over something so minor, I think it's best you contact her mom either way since that sounds like anything would set her off. Best to make sure someone does know rather than risk no one is paying attention.

>>82983890
>why go then?
it's a significant one, so really would be mad if I didn't have a damn good excuse. I don't like faking sick so eh will see next week
>join the hive mind!!
damn it! I love joining thoughtless hive minds, sign me up!
>so I'm sure there the same deal with halloween
could see maybe a quirky American mid west tourist trap town with 20 people who say it's celebrated year long there only

>>82984474
someone made me mad, she then got mad, and then t was even worse, i got up went outside during night into forrest to """"calm down""""
i dont remember everything sorry

>>82984183
>archery is those things too
yeah i suppose it is
>never too late to find something to do
well kinda is with sports i feel, kinda gotta start in highschool or Middle school to get the real fun of it
>wasn't interested at all in anything similar to making maps other than maybe playing minecraft
well good you found out you like making them and Minecraft is the best for being creative
>watching in here since the usual website is not working now
Ooo thanks, and that's a shame hehe
>what game is it of you can say?
it's a zombie game
>do you know what you gonna watch?
maybe the new conjuring

>>82984370
no matter what good job for getting so far that's incredible as it is

sleep time

>>82984507
>don't like faking sick so eh will see next week
hmm
maybe you could go there only for a short bit, say hello and then leave
>>82984507
>thoughtless hive minds,
woo \o/ /o\ \o/
those little signs represent me miku and you, can you see it? ^^

>>82984587
>someone made me mad, she then got mad, and
sounds like a big argument
hopefully those those don't happen often

>>82984657
>to get the real fun of it
I disagree unless you want to o become a professional
>and that's a shame hehe
I'm sure it'll be back in a day or two
>zombie game
what's the name?
>maybe the new conjuring
they made another one?
have fun ^^
I might watch it too

heya
>>82982676
>>82982710
i'll reply tomorrow, i studied and have to sleep now
kind of stressed but ig it's normal, maybe it's a feeling mixed of stress and knowing that i only have like 2 hours and maybe 30/40 minutes to sleep
lol, well, time to go

>>82984710
good night cat
>disagree unless you want to o become a professional
well maybe i do
>sure it'll be back in a day or two
hopefully ^^
>what's the name?
i actually don't know :/ they were just playing it and i joined
>they made another one?
yerp :p
>might watch it too
have fun if you do

>>82985137
hello :)

goodnight everyone, hope everyone sleeps well. I'll be sleeping now, i am actually quite scared of showing my arms in archery but that doesn't matter now resy easy