Thread 82995139

>decided to buy a sex toy for the first time
>cant really order it online since I am living with my parents so I travelled to a department store next to my town
>was a bit nervous at first because my baby faced self cant self checkout sex toys but convinced myself that the dead inside clerks won't give a shit about my purchases anyways
>got a tenga hard boiled bundle for a discounted price since its pretty cheap for 6 reusable fleshlights with different sensations, and I was so confident that I even bought myself some actual groceries as a treat like a neat apple pie
>arrives at the cashier
>actual cute young girl whose looking cheerful somehow even in this dead end job
>love at first sight.jpg
>she saw me and my gigantic bundle of fleshlights
>smile immediately turned into a frown like I've killed someone like picrel while I die inside internally
>the entire process afterwards was extremely awkward and uncomfortable for both sides
>she still stared at me with a disgusted look at i walked out like I am some elite gooner supreme
How can I possibly build a good relationship with that clerk? She is really cute and it'd be nice if I can date her.

Another terrible fake post he's going to screenshot for Reddit. Yeah bros "classic" r9k era is so back

>>82995159
You use reddit?

Go in and buy another one and say you work at an old folks home or something and after you got the first one for a male resident, he spread the word and now his friend wants one. If you're somewhat smooth you can make it believable and a funny joke. That might be completely retarded though idk.
>>82995159
The story isn't even interesting, funny, or embarrassing enough.

>>82995207
I bought an entire tenga egg case dawg

>>82995271
Say the old bastards used them up. Make some shit up man, be creative.

>>82995319
why would old bastards know about a fucking tenga egg?

>>82995639
You never know these days

>>82995639
that's really not the craziest idea in the world

>>82995639
old people are surprising freaky

>>82996587
Source for that claim

>>82995139 (OP)
>>82995159
doesn't matter if it's fake or not, this is exactly how women view incels who touch themselves. pure disgust and looked down upon, it's disgusting, it's unnatural, just fuck off to another country if that's what you bring to the table, fucking yourself. you're supposed to fuck women plain and simple

>>82995139 (OP)
If you had just practiced NNN, you would have avoided this completely. If it makes you feel better, you wouldn't have met her if it wasn't for you buying those goon toys, so you didn't really lose anything

>>82995139 (OP)
What kind of store has both sex toys and apple pie? Is this some European thing?

>>82997346
>old people know what sex is
>old people used to be sexy
>old people have experienced sexuality since they learned what sex is and how to be sexy
>old people have been discovering what best works for their sexuality since they first discovered it
>old people have lots of experience with sexuality

>>82997398
every walmart does you fucking dumb retarded zoomer incel that doesn't leave his mother's basement

>>82997427
I'm 31 and I've never seen a sex toy at Walmart

>>82997644
>>82997398
ok i lied its a don quijote and i am asian

>>82995139 (OP)
i could never go to a sex shop because of my appearance. she'd probably ask for my id. apparently autistic people shouldn't be allowed to engage into anything sex related.

>>82998325
jesus how handsome are you

>>82998494
I'm not sure If I'm handsome, I'm just super child like looking. i stopped buying alcohol after a few times because every single cashier demanded for my id, it felt extremely embarrassing so I gave up. no one ever treats me like an adult because of my appearance.

>>82998572
you should appeal to the female pedophile community then