Thread 83098646

new op image edition

*runs through the back of britfeel towers*

>>83098652
VERY spookie

might order greggs or some other runtslop

>>83098646 (OP)
Very good OP picture but sadly not shoes related

>>83098695
i didnt make it i just saved it

For me? It's feel street.

>>83098692
whats your usual at greggs?
for me its a corned beef bake

>>83098713
I like a corned beef bake but I'm a big chicken bake fan nowadays

>>83098712
remember that lad who was going to make a 3d playable feel street? i wonder what happend to him

>>83098718
never tried that.....hmmm new possibilities

>>83098725
probably just stopped posting like most of the lads here did, I made loads of feel street op's but they're all on the old laptop which is fucked

Fuck it getting a chinkie sent up now, hungry af

>>83098747
At 10am? Say it ain't so.

Just ordered a curry. Will be here in 20 mins

I tried messaging an escort who I know works in the same building as the Russian one I saw if she's available (tried booking her before but she cancelled at the last minute). She's read it but no response on AW.

So that means one of two things:

1. The Russian one has spoken to the other one about me.
2. There's a red note on my AW profile, but I find this unlikely given other escorts responded to me on Tuesday.

Did have an idea of making a new AW account in a few weeks' time and messaging the original one to see if she responds lol

>>83098785
do fuck off

>>83098756
I'm hungry now
>>83098781
Not me

>>83098788
I can't imagine a chinese at 10am
most don't even open til about 3 where I am

furious cycling is a crime in the uk
lmao

Woke up this morning, got myself a brew...
Momma always said you're gonna, drink a brew...

>>83098646 (OP)
Hey that's my image! Glad you lads liked them x

intense feeling of dread sweeps over me when I realise people I went to secondary school with now have kids

>>83098823
Buy a motorcycle

>>83098823
tbf, I think one of the lads I went secondary with had a kid before we left.

>>83098827
what would that do
>>83098848
yeah one of the lasses in my class had one too, but even this weird sex pest I knew is engaged with 2 kids
Ridiculous

Made the mistake of buying Italian coffee. It tastes like burnt rubber, really nasty. Gonna have to throw the entire bag out and buy a different one.

>>83098853
Sprogless women usually get a cat, sprogless men buy motorcycles or porsches

>>83098823
Same and I'm still a virgin at 29

>>83098652
Thats jst likethe film I saw other night. "Signs"

>>83098895
i'm not a virgin but I will never shag again. I'm 26 now

having a few ambiens

>>83098899
You are my favourite poster here xoxo

>>83098813
i love it mate

>>83098646 (OP)
Is that heckin SSM? Oh I'm HOWLING
Is that heckin HHL? Oh I'm HOWLING
XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Is it time for millennials and zoomers to grow up and get a job?

just gonna say fuck it and order a spackdonalds

Might put my prime location London council flat on those trading websites and see if I can move up north x

>>83098999
I must admit, I'm entering my toy buying phase.
Maybe I'll even buy a fumo, idk.

>>83098796
Technically it's a malaysian place

>>83099078
hopefully it was good

Can you come and get your dollymong from /brit/ please he's shitting up the thread with his online dollies and drama

>>83099090
sacked tranny?

>>83099096
Is that one of his character dollies he plays as on /brit/?

Whever I think the horn is gone, it comes right back, hoho!

>>83099081
Very but I'm low key still hungry

what fantasy creatures should I larp sexy times with today?
Thinking maybe witches.

I've got an inflamed taste bud on my tongue again from drinking too much.

I have heartburn SSM style. Won't neck straight vinegar though

Need a Helper update.
Do you think he got too drunk Dublin and is sick or in trouble? He has no self-control once he starts drinking, so going on holiday to a strange city seems like a terrible idea.

Gonna do a poo in about five minutes

>>83099164
He probably got jumped by Africans.

>>83099164
The irish are all pissheads so he'll fit right in

dollies where are my dollies i want my dollies

>>83099212
HHL is on a care home excursion

First day where I'm feeling the cold de lids. Arthritisberg doing a number on me.

Actually... he probably is on a group trip, right? No way he could handle all that alone. He's disabled, right? If he's not allowed to cook then how is he allowed to plan a trip and get a ferry and book a hotel and explore a new city?

>>83099266
He goes on one of those spacker buses with window lickers

Lads I'm no financial expert but the wenefits bill is 300 million and the GDP is 2.2 trillion. That's a bit above 10% of the GDP so we have another 1.9 trillion to pay for things. What's the big deal? We are being told we can't afford the welfare bill when we clearly can. We have the lowest welfare bills in europe. Are we being lied to or is the media exaggerating the benefits bill?

>>83099225
>HHL is on a care home excursion
fascinating

>>83099281
300 billion sorry. My mistake.

>>83099266
>Actually... he probably is on a group trip, right? No way he could handle all that alone. He's disabled, right? If he's not allowed to cook then how is he allowed to plan a trip and get a ferry and book a hotel and explore a new city?
fascinating

>>83098823
A shocking amount of people I went to school with have died. I envy them more than the people with kids.

>>83099266
Yeah of course every trip he's on is a group trip for people with learning disabilities. Not even taking the piss, that's what's going on.

I hope HHL has packed enough nappies for his trip

>Gammer - Muffin Music Megamix (1:15:01)

garn dance like a loon innit

>>83099304
Nothing wrong with that. Sounds kind of fun actually. Wish the lad would just admit it instead of acting otherwise.

Some of remember when HHL was doxed. Some of us would like to forget.

I'm never drinking again, last night was the last time.
For lunch: sausages and beans on toast

A gorilla in a three piece suit roaming Wall Street... Norman cavalry on the beaches of Guangdong... fusion lances charging CCCP tanks... a Swedish rapper dons a Hugo Boss suit... Samsara

>>83099321
Yeah nothing wrong with it at all. I'm glad those charities exist. And to be honest I don't blame him for trying to keep his pride online either and pretend he's a normal guy.

>>83099326
>Some of remember
alri mong boy, take sometime out to read what you typed before submitting especially when you've put together a pure lole post about an online personality

>>83099266
>group trip
Yes, same deal as when he went to Edinburgh

SPACKERS ON TOUR 2025

Lads, which one looks better, left or right?

Showed my zoomer brother an episode of Brum and he started convulsing.

>>83098999
>Pokemon
me, i played Cassette Beasts because the characters say things like
>*sigh* adulting sucks, we have to pay bills and rent *sips cappuccino*
and that means it's for grown-ups.

>>83099358
Right. Less black people in it.
Architecturally speaking though the right also has better design for the office and store space inside on the large buildings and opposite is true for the smaller ones. Judging by the suns direction the light is good and the buildings should make use of it.

>>83099358
left. the buildings look too modern for those windows tbqh.

looks like an awkward mix of old-timey and modernist anyway, like Poundbury. but left is more consistently modern.

You wouldn't last a night in the care home

>>83099440
Oh no, it's so hard being cared for. Having everything done for you, how will I cope

>>83099440
>>83099452
the spackers would gang up on you, they can just tell when youre not one of them even if you try to look and act like one, sort of like zombies or the crazies

Trying really, really hard not to go full schizo with the latest flesh simulator vid on the las vegas shooting lads.

Don't tell the Apus just yet but another reduction in ABV of Fosters is to go ahead.

>>83099483
At what point does it stop being lager and start being piss

>>83099515
Most of our beers used to be 5%. All of the popular mass market lagers have had their strength reduced to 4.5% or even 4%. Fuck the sugar tax and fuck the alcohol tax.

if elected 4chan admin, i will:
- remove all JavaScript
- remove the mobile CSS
- swap the CAPTCHA for insomnia-driven human moderation (me)
- monetise via single crypto donate link that a random billionaire WILL gift to
- use all proceeds to host 4chan in space (won't comply with DMCA requests)

i'm also considering making the new underageb& rule 'no under-30s'. but i know there are some good twentysomething posters (e.g. Chika).

>>83099459
I could fight 10 spackers at a time, easily.

>>83099523
Christ Chika is 20-something? I thought he was like 40.

>>83099515
them stubbies HHL drinks are sometimes 2.5-3.5%. and they're 250ml, not even 330ml. so it really is like every two bottles is one. can't imagine they taste nice.

and yeah yeah the beer that peasants drank was actually low ABV. i doubt it tasted nice, AS beer.

>>83099525
what if they come from different directions though? or even two different directions, one group would spacker common room and the others would be piling out of the spacker kitchen, like a pincer movement

>>83099527
Chika is in his early 30s. He said so himself

picrel was just a safe bet, once. you could find it for a quid or 1.25 somewhere. and yep, just a nice beer. not going to get upset it's not bottle-conditioned or summat.

but fuck me i had the new, 0.2% reduced ABV one and it's worse. might be the same mash, hops, whatever, but someone at some point in manufacturing had it sussed and now it's just not rite. and if anything i think 5.2% was high: i'd PREFER a 4% ale that just tastes good.

was quite happy to un-relapse tbqh. state of it all.

>>83099539
he is lying about his age to fit in. it would also mean admitting he was a teenager when he began posting here.

notice the animes he originally avatarfagged with. do you recognise any of them? of course not, because you outgrew anime 10+ years ago.

>>83099557
I love Hobgoblin, haven't bought it in a while... did they change it? That'd be devastating, it was one of the only nice ales you could buy in a supermarket

>>83099523
>if elected 4chan admin, i will:
>- remove all JavaScript
Unacceptable. I want to tinker with JS injections.
>- remove the mobile CSS
Gets my vote.
>- swap the CAPTCHA for insomnia-driven human moderation (me)
Gets my vote
>- monetise via single crypto donate link that a random billionaire WILL gift to
Gets my vote
>- use all proceeds to host 4chan in space (won't comply with DMCA requests)
Gets my vote
>i'm also considering making the new underageb& rule 'no under-30s'. but i know there are some good twentysomething posters (e.g. Chika).
Nope. Psychometric tests. Age is not the best way determine to maturity.

>>83099566
went from 5.2% to 5.0%. not sure if there's some other change to the recipe. still Hobgoblin-y, but definitely a bit off.

thought it might just be my palate after years sober (i could definitely taste the pure alcohol in everything). but i also had some other classics i enjoyed. Proper Job and Citra were still nice.

can only conclude Marston's ruined Hobgoblin. simple as.

Why are there so many sexhavers in /britfeel/? Disgusting

>>83099575
>I want to tinker with JS injections.
>Age is not the best way determine to maturity.

you hacked one of the internet's biggest message boards. i can understand getting cocky, but you might want to be a bit careful, no?

porking fatties

>>83099575
Fuck off you dirty dirty nonce

>>83099582
4chan is 22 years old, that's 40006 years in dragon years, so legal to be tinkered with.

>>83099599
Why are you posting sexualised images of cartoon children?

>>83099606
it's actually a shape of a fictional species.

much like how the lads on /h/ who wank to bishoujos aren't heterosexual. if anything, it's more like graphophilia (sexual attraction to drawings, they get erections in Ryman's at the sheer potential).

Marks drinking most days now

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DFNh4npPkx8

>>83099606
Because he's a nonce

was pure howling at this documentary.
>why is it all middle-aged Japanese businessmen in love with these 14-year-old girls?
>aaah you see, it is actually a part of Japanese culture.

the parents taken in like proper mugs.

>>83099527
>>83099539
Same poster btw.

>>83099565
I never said I was early 30s, because I've not turned 30. He is obsessed with how old other posters are so he does this little sad thing where he goes:
>Uhhh poster OLD
>replies to self: uhhhh actually poster slightly less old (this makes it more believable in his head)
He has now "established" that poster = old, apparently. Real Ones, real britfeel OGs know or can at least deduce my age. But I'm not saying because it's none of ya business pals/chums. Simple as.

>>83099650
>Same poster btw.
Nu-hu

>>83099670
It's probably even more sad if it's a double act and not one poster tbqh.

I'm gonna try to be more like Helper. He leads a good life.
Having another wuppa now

acksully look at this element hack i did to make you look like ur wrong lol

>>83099685
Couple of jars later? Its thursday after all

>>83098999
It's mostly young, middle class women I reckon buying all that crap. Easily manipulated by viral marketing campaigns.

>>83099724
Would love to bury my face in her fanny.

>>83099724
In the USA women account for 85% of all consumer spending, I imagine it's similar over here.

>>83099730
Hopefully she didn't inherit her father's hidden disability, otherwise it might not smell too good down there.

>>83099751
That's not his daughter is it

Just paid 1 pound and 40 pence for a kinder Bueno from the work vending machine, rather overpriced but sometimes you've got to splash out. Think I regret it though, should have got a twix. Might go get a twix.

>>83099740
Probably high in Australia too.

>>83099724
I have a question for you Ruthlad. What percentage of your situation in life do you feel is your own fault, and what percentage do you feel is circumstances working against you?

>>83099730
It doesn't feel right to have thoughts like that over a sweet scottish lass like her.

>>83099751
It could smell like rotting fish. I wouldn't mind. I'm sure it has a good scent. She takes care of herself.

>>83099787
Probably 50/50. I just believe there are meant to be losers in this world. No winners without losers. Genetic lottery. No woman cares about me.

You lads ever done anything with worms before? Worm fun?

>>83099766
He creampied a fair number of scottish birds in 2001 during his prime.

I've given up on life and that's ok. It's too late now. I hope the next life brings me better luck, intelligence and genetics.

Do you reckon Laura uses birth control?

>>83099650
you give information in a VERY roundabout way, even for a gay being a bit aloof/theatrical.

speak to your GP, lad.

>>83099946
I agree. I am a mental case, but i get special treatment for it, so i'm going to carry on.

>>83099839
never stuck them inside myself or anything like that, but in infant school we gradually dug a trench just off to the side of the playground. everyone said that worms became two worms if you cut them in half.

apparently that's not true, us in the worm gang definitely killed hundreds of worms ;_;

>>83099946
I mean sure but being "diagnosed" with "autism" wouldn't do anything for me.
>I, mental elf doctor, someone who doesn't actually know you as well as you could possibly know yourself, deem you to "have" this "thing" and it means you're heckin weird.
Okay, I already know I'm heckin weird, now what? Pointless int it.

Mummy wummy mumberg treated me to mcdoanalds, thanks mum. Had that Canadian double quarter pound burger. It was alright nothing to rave about.

>>83098695
Here you go lad, better?

>>83099913
Her bf probably finished in her mouth

>>83100002
She probably does anal. In fact I'm sure of it

>>83099999
Lush digits and lush edit once again lad. Appreciate how it makes fun of Turk boy x

>>83099972
as an alternative to the diagnostic model, there's the Power Threat Meaning Framework that looks at your individual heckin story.

they actually have a built-in 'exception' for autism spectrum disorders, and one of the main reasons is because WITHOUT the diagnosis they won't get benefits.

do you not WANT to get PIP?

>>83100002
All over them big glasses.

>>83100007
I expect that's too uncomfortable and invasive for her.

>>83099999
maybe too on-the-nose, but could you put the '/britfeel/' wordmark IN the shoeless zone?

maybe look on stock websites for those shoes-in-a-circle photos, surely one is missing a pair?

>>83100041
>but could you put the '/britfeel/' wordmark IN the shoeless zone?
Sure lad here you go.

>>83100039
She likes the feeling of fullness inside her.

corrr it were magic when someone brought a proper camera to the field yous were drinking in.

>>83100028
No I don't want PIP
>Debase and humiliate myself for 100 pound a week or whatever.
Oof couldn't be me my lid. I have a soul so I can't bring myself to pretend like my mental elf is worse than it actually is to get bennies from an arm of the state which I despise. It is bad enough that I once claimed UC. Wish I could go back in time and change that but oh well what can you do.

>>83100063
if you hadn't claimed UC you'd have gaps in your NI contributions, lad. it's not some nice 'bonus'.

your pride is really misplaced, i must say.

>>83100074
And that's the most comical thing of all. You actually are incentivised to claim more money, in order to at a later date, claim even more money. Lmao. What a joke. Not like it matters anyway, highly doubt this current state pension scheme will exist by that point.

Anyway all pride is misplaced my lid.

Now Lauren. That's a good Christian bible reading lass. Being a young one at 18, she'll be saving her virginity for marriage when that time comes.

>>83100087
>Anyway all pride is misplaced my lid.

true. normally when someone says 'swallow your pride' it's like acting against your nature, you know?

for me it's gratitude. 'be grateful' is another one because it SOUNDS like an attack. but nah, it's good to take stock and genuinely be grateful. grateful for are NHS and welfare system, me.

>>83100063
Based chika, we more people like you and less people like HHL

Me and Chika are the only lads that 'get it'.

>>83100058
She likes the feel of a continuous poop?

Lads, I just spent the day pricing things up for Christmas, to get an idea of how much I need to spend/save, and honestly I feel depressed. Amazon, Tesco, they are all so fucking expensive now. I mean, 7 quid for a small cheese selection, 1.80 for a fucking Terry's Orange, what the hell? That's just not right at all.

Is Chika a libertarian chud? Grim grim grim

>>83100107
i dunno. you know in Watchmen when Rorschach 'gets it' and says the Comedian also 'got it' by the end?
i know what they mean (and won't share).

>>83100100
Corrr I'm grateful to be alive in this world and for the gift of being. It a lush.
>>83100113
It complicated.

No women ever enjoyed anal. They just do it to please their bf or money.

>>83100113
'the problem with libertarianism is you run out of other people's freedoms.'
- me

About 30,000 new social housing tenancies were given to non-UK nationals last year. Why?
Even within the pro-social housing framework this doesn't make sense.

>>83100122
This isn't true, there are plenty of women who enjoy it. But even if it was true there'd be nothing wrong with it.

>>83100129
What are you going to do about it other than complain about it on britfeel, big man?

>>83100138
Honestly don't think there is anything I can do about it. Just putting the point out there.

>>83099344
Alright lad - I was having a strenuous poo at the same time and couldn't focus fully. Thanks for correcting me though, I really appreciate your attention to detail. Would you like to pork my sister as a thank you present? She's pretty fit for an 8 year old.

>>83100132
>there are plenty of women who enjoy it
Proof?

>>83100129
How's that job working out for you, sonny Jim?

>>83100151
Go online and see/read/hear testimonies from women who are open about enjoying it?

have 3 days off so garn on the jars now x

hmm a local YouTuber has gone from 'i am ABOVE painkillers' to a recent video about how horrible back pain is.

another one of his 'takes' was why would he ever try drugs, that would be escaping reality and he thinks living is great! ...so not the type of person who would feel they need drugs, then.

dislike these smug intellectual types. it's like autism/psychopathy by way of booksmarts.

Social housing does not equal slacker housing

>>83100156
Do you believe everything written online?

>>83100122
My mum likes it up her. n equals 1.

>>83100170
Of course not, but the flip side of that argument is that you're implying they're all lying. Do you really think that's likely?

>>83100161
same feel

imagine paying any real attention to a youtube channel performer
critical thinking is clearly dead
BUT BUT BUT SUBCRIBE MUH CHANNELLE
get fucked

>>83100163
In all circumstances social housing provides an implied subsidy of multiple thousands of pounds a year. In very high demand areas the subsidy can be worth several tens of thousands of pounds a year. This is obviously absurd to just hand out to foreigners. But even if we take social housing as an inherent good, why is it being given to foreigners at all instead of British citizens? Isn't the entire point of the social housing system to help citizens?

random chat with friend, she enjoys sticking things up her bum purely in her own time. something about how you feel the feelgood inside-parts but from the other side.

makes me feel awkward though because surely you'd need quite a big todger for that to work in (heterosexual) intercourse.

>>83100176
wimmin are liars so yeah
horrible they are
all slutty with their tits and fannies
ugh

>>83100170
dispassionateANALysisofthedata.webm

>>83100190
Not him but immigration is far too high as it stands, and this exacerbates the middle classes into projecting their anger on the non-British incomers. Sort immigration out (Greens will do this, Reform not costed) and then we can return to having a pop at poor people.

>>83100183
i DO check for documentaries and there are rarely good ones, at least on iPlayer. Netflix gravitates more towards serial killer shit.

i want something fly-on-the-wall and kind of mundane, ideally with research behind it. even if it's 100% talking heads, experts who aren't professional actors/performers.

where do i look, lad? DocuWiki/MVGroup is actually dying, most of it isn't seeded nowadays ;_;

>>83100192
is she single
asking for my penis
and her rectum

SSM got that cirrhosis oh aye it lush and he means lush x

>>83100224
>>83100183
read more. video kills your mind. youtube is a cancer.

>>83100232
Wtf i watch videos all the time

Brisk in here today fucking hell, I can barely keep up. Slow it down for a bit eh? Us thick spackers can't cope.

>>83100216
>Greens will do this
Oh aye x a world without borders sounds lush lad x

>>83100239
read more. watch less. your mind will thank you.

>>83100243
sorry it's rent time

Spacker housing

>the government lets in thousands of boat enjoyers
"Oi thats not right that
>the government lets in thousands of boat enjoyers
"Mabye we can all gather on Saturdays and be angry about it"
>the government lets in thousands of boat enjoyers
"Lets all paint red crosses on grim as fuck roundabouts and kerb stones
>the government lets in thousands of boat enjoyers

>>83100251
Read what though

>>83100258
What are you going to do about that other than complain about it on britfeel, big man?

>>83100244
>a fair and humane system of managed immigration
what's your point? can't be any worse than the current lot and Farage's plans are pure fucking comedy that will wreck this country even further

>>83100273
I am going to do fuck all about it lad

>>83100216
>Greens will do this
lmao, Greens want to have a completely open border. They care more about muh racism than the environment.

>>83100254
end of the month is two weeks away, sir

>>83100251
we've hoodwinked a generation into believing computer games are art by default.

so i choose to see video as quite cultured, actually. like how Homer Simpson was a 'couch potato' but he was watching programmes like Twin Peaks.

>>83100259
books. find a subject of interest and read books. go to your library. get ebook downloads. start somewhere. but start books and stop video.

>>83100273
have a wank with a pair of mum's knickers in his mouth

>>83100292
Look at the way you write. You're clearly a moron. Yet you probably have a comfortable life because you're good looking. If you were as ugly as me, you'd be homeless.

No girl has ever let me put my cock in her arse.

>>83100292
youtube is and will remain a cancer. this generation is already lost. the least we can do is try for the next lot. my fear is they are also lost but I will not stop trying.

>>83100312
he's right, though. it's a shame you can't see his perspective. you're also lost, it seems.

Want to put a woman's flaps around my willy

>>83100296
>find a subject of interest and read books
No

>>83180008
when this post is active it will be booobies but in reverse like a calculator

>>83100111
Are you doing it for a family or just for yourself lad?

>>83100317
I'm not disagreeing with his opinion. To be honest he's probably spot on. Depends on the video.

>>83100322
Well that told him. Good work, chief.

>>83100313
It is VERY lush ngl lad

>>83100322
lost. as i suspected. god speed with your subpar life and the gov approved indoctrination.

>>83100111
You need approvedfood.co.uk
It lush and cheap

Want to put a man's flaps around my woman's flaps and then flap into the flappingtons.

>>83100255
Bongo looking handsome in that one.

TMAU
M
A
U

FISH
I
S
H

SHIT
H
I
T

Where did all this low brow chat come from all of a sudden?

>>83100376
Surprised 4chan didnt think this is spam

>>83100376
Low effort post and possibly rule breaking

Any Linuxlads in?

Anal is the only thing that matters in a relationship. If a woman loves you, desires you, respects you and considers you 'the one' she will give you anal. If she doesn't then she won't, but if he doesn't consider you those things she's basically just using you as a betabux provider before she moves on to find someone else.

Two (You)s and I will stay for another hour.

>>83100381
>>83100384
calm down lids. let me enjoy a shitpost before we get banned from 4chan forever

Afternoon lads, or as we say in England, as-salamu alaykum

>>83100387
Hi, Andrew.

>>83100387
I've tried to do anal with three different women but it's always far too painful for them because my penis is unusually girthy.

>>83100390
Point taken. Crack on, boss. I retract my >>83100384 comment. As you were.

>>83100390
>we get banned from 4chan forever
I don't live in the UK

>>83100407
>my penis is unusually girthy.
Citation required
>t. gay

>>83100328
Family, its nice to splash out a bit for Christmas.

>>83100356
Will look into it, thanks.

>>83100387
what if I dont want anal tho? did it with the first gf I ever had and decided never again, its just willy strangulation imo, just not into it

>>83100412
off you pop, there's a good boy

>>83100434
As a hetero you are duty bound to do the bumsex with your gf.

Bogos binted xx

first day of invisalign, week 1/60. Ngl this is sort of a pain in the arse, teeth are a bit tingly but it is wot it is, isn't it, is it not? the price to pay for non fucked up teeth

>>83100442
but I just ehhhhhh, I dont use condoms either for this very reason, leaves a red ring mark on my knob and strangles the willet. I dont even have a big willy either

>>83100312
I used to compose my internet postings like this. Would you assume I'm smarter, as a result? if so you're a fucking moron. with your unhyphenated 'good looking' baka.

>>83100315
true, the culture that's sprung up around it sucks. should be a place to host videos, rather than a medium for its own sake. even has its own social mores, slang, actual full-time jobs.

imagine if that happened with, i dunno, MediaFire.

I mean, arses are tighter at the ring, but not that tight. Was your gf 14 or something you wrong'un? Kinell lad.

>>83100327
the extra 'b' is for 'bargain'!

Sat at work thinking I need a big poo. Went to the toilet and let out a long loud fart instead. Didn't even smell.
Wiped just in case but not even a spec.

>>83100447
did you know the 'aliens' in Signs are actually demons?

it entry #2 in Shyamalan's 'water and faith' trilogy.

Alright de lid.
Hungry? We big on Tik-Toad. 10,000 followers.
Best spud in UK. Weans? Wuna? Wheese? Maybe some smokey wacon bits?
Lush lush lush only 15 quid one spud.
Toppin's 5 quid extra.
Corr would look great on your FrenBook lid.
Famous spuds de lid I give you extra.

>>83100448
are you going to delete all old photos and get an entirely new set of friends/colleagues, lad?

this is like someone going bald then getting a 'hair system'. or a lass getting her tits out. everyone has seen.

>>83100421
100% it is. I'm cutting back this year too though. For the last few years I've been like "Oh you absolutely MUST have 60 quid worth of artisan cheese" or "you absolutely MUST have bottles of champagne" etc. etc. but really you don't. Just having enough booze to be merry, enough food to be full and enough time to spend together is a wonderful thing.

>>83100509
corrr could i get chilli con carne fren? (only if it's fresh out the tin, mind.)

Lovely lickle BFI delivery. Been wanting this Herzog set for ages. Just my luck the Melville and Herzog sets get a decent discount on the same day! Any Herzog fans? Should I watch the German or English versions of Aguirre and Nosferatu?

Been thinking about having my willy encased in the walls of a woman's vagina

>>83100513
We were never rich enough to go for the fancy stuff, but its nice to sit down to wallace and gromit as a family with some cheese and crackers. I hate that we are being priced out of these pleasures.

>>83100498
Yeah i fink so. They r pretty unintelligent nd weak for being aliens.

My long willy safely sheathed in Sean's extremely long hose-pipe neck.

Provably irl aliens r demons as well tho

Gonna go to the shops (even though I didn't shower since Saturday). Planning on buying some chicken breast and making wraps/fajitas

How should I prepare for the two escorts on Saturday lads?

The thing is about anal sex, while of course you should do it in such a way that it's pleasurable for the woman (slow, gentle, lubed, going at her pace, proper prep etc.) it's also supposed to be in some sense uncomfortable and requires effort to prepare. That's by definition the barometer of whether or not she considers you 'worth it'. She need to put in the effort to make you happy and also needs to be comfortable enough with you and trusting of you enough that you're going to do everything you can to help her enjoy it to the fullest.

I would argue that anal sex is more romantic and bond-affirming than normal vaginal intercourse is.

Forgot my trademark bedsheet haul pic, didn't I? I know you love them!

>>83100536
Encased? You mean permanently, like a fly in amber? New fetish unlocked.

an arse, manufactured from plastic, used for sex

made in Great Britain

>>83100553
Mate...that's not a good hill to die on.

>>83100550
Have a wank just before to make sure you don't cum too soon

Great British Arses

>>83100555
It would become like a permanent dildo stuck in her fanny, preventing any other man from fucking her after I do

>>83100553
You're doing what lads do when something else in their life is wobbling. You've picked a weird hill to die on and started sermonising. You're not trying to convince the world that anal sex is the apex of intimacy. You're trying to convince yourself you're not losing control somewhere else.

>>83100545
some part of the primordial soup that led to humans may be from outer space we are all starstuff so in a way we are the aliens and only rocks are human

(God made man from clay so Christianity is one of the only ways we escape our extraterrestrial origins.)

Wonder if DVDlad has seen Bugonia yet.

The Great British Anal Sex Off!

>>83100564
he's just going through an elaborate way to 'test' a partner, where the 'test' itself is the point.

in a sense all couples do it, but it just happens organically. it'll either click whether they're for you or not. going OUT OF YOUR WAY is what makes it insane. BPD behaviour.

>>83100548
I love making wraps with chicken nuggets, love the crunch from the breadcrumbs.

>>83100581
this abbreviates to TGBASO.

>>83099557
>>83099576
ive been contemplating making my own booze with yeast and own brand fruit juice because the lower abv in booze is so noticeable as of late
times r'ard in a rapidly collapsing bri'un they are

See you can just be here honestly talking about how great anal sex is and then other lads come along and (our of nowhere?) start talking about how 'your life must be falling apart'. I don't place much stock in psychology stuff but this does honestly fit the profile of a projector to a tee.

Anal sex isn't some taboo odd thing these days. Surveys show that a vast majority of women try it at some point in their life and that the majority of women in long term relationships engage with it 'regularly or semi-regularly'. That's all there is to it. You're in love, you have anal sex, there isn't some deeper mystery or psychological hangup driving it all. It's fun and intimate and that's why couples do it, it's just that on top of that the majority of women will only feel comfortable if they consider the guy they're with to be 'Mr Right', so it stands to reason that anal is a healthy indicator of relationship strength.

>>83100590
For me it's them frozen southern fried burger shaped jobs. Chuck some salsa and sour cream and cheese in there and you're laughing, bit of buffalo sauce? Get outta here.

>>83100597
Look, I'm not trying to analyse your life. I'm saying you seem tense and reactive.

>>83100574
Luke 22:10 is about the age of aquarius

Ever get to be in charge of changing the word sheets to the songs in primary school? What an honour. Could do some cheeky finger puppets in there too if you were quick about it, maybe a rabbit or a croc.

>>83100609
love southern fried, it's the best coating for tendies

4chan anal romance theology

>>83100617
>aquarius

corrr it me

Wonder if arbroathy likes anal

>>83100622
Undeniably trve

>>83100622
>it's the best coating for tendies

WRONG.

Tempura-chads stay winning.

'twas quite the experience, having duck strips. not something i'd recommend though.

before long they're going to swap out chicken for turkey. mark my words /britfeel/. you were simply living in a golden age where peasants could afford chicken breast meat.

>>83100651
>>83100666
I've never been to Iceland

for me it's coating mini fillets in spices + plain flour, dipped in egg, then into panko, back in the egg, then back in the panko.
then shallow frying, oven roasting, or air frying them...only to discover the coating NEVER sticks and i have no idea what i'm doing wrong every single time ;_;

>>83100686
Dry your chicken before coating.
Don't buy cheap water/brine filled chicken.

>>83100638
That us your sun sign. U have more

>>83100680
I have, its very windy

think i'm getting dick tomorrow
not really feeling it but i might as well go. i can always just leave

>>83100698
seen yanks go on about 'dry brining' or whatever and it seems insane. although i have marinaded the chicken just for the sake of extra flavour.

i think Asda is the only main supermarket that intentionally adds water? 'for extra succulence'. please just give me the water-free equivalent, Asda.

>>83100738
pee girl, we are your REAL friends.

everytime i drink beer and eat crisps i feel like shit afterwards yet i continue to do it, strange how the brain works

>>83100828
wifelad's wife is 'letting' him go to a rave and take drugs.

and he's considered the long-term clever-clogs who's winning at life (for being married)

anyone elses poop coloured like red velvet cake?

>>83100841
He married a woman who has let another man ejaculate inside her in the past. Doesn't sound very clever to me. Pumped her full of reproductive mucus and that's his wife. His wife has been filled like a fucking vanilla donut by some greasy oddball.

>>83100865
Go to a doctor, that's not normal. Poo should be brown. Poo with blood in it is usually black. I don't know why it would be red unless you have an absorption issue or you ate a lot of beetroot or something.

does anyone else get looked at in public? cant gauge what is normal and what is not due to the autism, I notice whenever I exit the flat I always end up catching peoples eyes, I must be doing something weird but I'm just a bloke walking around going from A to B innit.

>>83100873
It's been that colour for about 2 months. I do have like a weird stabbing pain in the abdomen too, but I was just curious in case anyone else has dealt with something familiar.
Also dont really like the idea of seeing a doctor, people go to doctors to die.

eating an ostrich burger. oh its lush it is.
>>83100881
i got a good look at by a couple of people today. almost ruined my day it did, but im a tranny so i guess i deserve it
>>83100649
i do but bf is a little big so we have to take it slow

Think I'm over my obsession with the escort lads. I've realised she's a stupid cunt who literally said to me that she sees drug dealers.

bloody freezing this evening

>>83100952
but im not a tranny, why do I get looked at? reeeee

Purposely self sabotaging my life by having weird and uncontrolled hair.
Like a lions mane made out of straw and pubes.

>>83100974
So you think you're better than her other clients?

>>83100981
you just must be attractive then! why else would strangers be helpless and uncontrollably look at you?

>>83101017
maybe im doing something weird, what if I have a horrible walk, or maybe I look funny

Gotten up again haven't i X

>>83101026
i doubt it. i think most people tend to tilt their head down when it comes to passing the outliers and/or the disabled of society out in public.
dont be so negative.

>>83100952
>>83101017
Your shoulders are wider than your hips

>>83101010
Well I'm not a drug dealing scumbag. Guess that counts for something. She literally told me she has types like that book 4 hours at a time.

I just want to know why she won't respond.
I'm thinking of giving it two weeks or so then emailing her on AW, one last time. Just to see. I just can't believe she's refusing to respond because of double messaging over the course of a few days.

>>83100974
>Think I'm over my obsession with the escort lads.
>>83101051
>I'm thinking of giving it two weeks or so then emailing her on AW, one last time
holy kek

>>83101051
>Well I'm not a drug dealing scumbag. Guess that counts for something.

Clearly not with her mate. Those drug dealers give her the pussy tingles

hiring anons escort oneitis then dicking her and posting it on here so he cries

>>83101073
I am over her in the sense that where I fantasised about her, now I just hate her.
However I do want to get an answer out of her as to why she won't respond now.

>>83101080
Possibly. In which case I hope she gets HIV.

>>83101116
Leave her alone son, she doesn't need you obsessing over her and she doesn't have to give you answers

>>83101116
I'll tell you the answer lad. It should be obvious to you. She got freaked out because she could tell you're becoming attached to her. Simple as that. They don't like it. It's a safety issue.

>>83101097
She had droopy pancake tits. I wouldn't even bother.

i am going to give a friend some codeines this week.

i am LITERALLY a drug dealer, whoa.

>>83101121
She said I was polite and nice, and I have been. I think I am actually entitled to an answer.

>>83101126
But I said nothing of the sort to her and respected all her boundaries.

If I give it say 2 weeks (start of December) and try emailing her again apologising and asking for another booking, do you think there's a chance she might relent?

>>83101132
you say that now but before you were all like
140 and hour? yes please

>>83100509
shut the fuck up you fat low iq frogger

>>83100881
yeah but it's my fault cos i always look in peoples eyes for too long. i wear sunglasses when i can

LED bulb did that thing where it goes dim (instead of just going off)
so now i have it in the hall without a lampshade. achieving the same result.

>>83101152
>But I said nothing of the sort to her and respected all her boundaries.

I'm not trying to be a cunt lad...but don't be stupid . Do you really think she couldn't tell?

I might just knock on her door and demand answers at this point. I've been nothing but a gentlemen and I deserve an answer.

>>83101152
You are not entitled to anything. Please make an appointment with your GP for an autism diagnosis.

look at people's foreheads, autismos. little eye contract pro tip, from me to you <3

went to the doctors for depression and went through the mental elf appointments and now theyve diagnosed me with PTSD

>>83101202
Went for an eye op, now I keep hallucinating large breasts

>>83101199
but its called eye contact not forehead contact

>How would a woman know what I'm feeling? I didn't tell her explicitly!

This is what happens when autism meets a low IQ.

>>83101189
Maybe but that still doesn't answer the question of why she left me positive feedback on AW and also responded quickly to my message a few days later.

She must have talked about me to another escort and had her mind changed.

Women really are just absolute nightmares. I'll see how the two escorts on Saturday go. I'll make sure not to get attached to either of them and make sure not to show any attachment.

>>83100580
I have not. Can't be arsed with the cinema nowadays. Gotten too expensive and my local has dirty screens.

>>83101206
I love stories like that

>>83101235
She was probably going to go with it because you'd be a regular client and regular source of money, but she thought better of it because she got psycho vibes from you. I'm getting them too, to be honest with you.

What does it mean when you suddenly feel incredibly hungry and your vision goes blurred and you start sweating all over and feel like you will pass out and your hands are shaking uncontrollably?

>>83101283
Hypoglycaemia
High blood pressure
Onset of heart failure

I had the best sex in my life with an escort.

I was in a depressed mood and was about to end it so decided to waste my money on an escort.

Picked the cheapest one I could find and ended up in a dodgy part of town, I wasnt expecting much but this absolute stacked mini brazilian milf opened the door.

I was genuinely floored, handed over my 60 squids and she took me into a room and started blowing me, put the condom on with her mouth and rode the absolute shit out of me while I sucked her tits.

I think we fucked for about 30 minutes, she was fucking moaning screaming absolutely ripped the cum out of my dick.

Afterwards she collapsed next to me and we had a chat. Told me she'd be back next week and I should book again but I told her I had no more money and I never saw her again.

Tried to meet up again a few months later but it was the old bait and switch and some goblina opened the door so I just left.

Escorts are like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gunna get.

>>83101161
You WOT LID. Wee lil watty boy. Wuffoon, wacist!
Gonna scatter your weeth all over the wavement you ranidaphobe! I'll show you a seethie weethie lid right now.
catch this you fucking absolute wunt.
Call SPACCA i dont give a fuck.

>>83101202
Pitiful Tiny Shlong Disorder?

>>83101283
sounds like hypoglycaemia
i had to call in 2 emergency large dominos pizzas every morning after when i was deep in my alcoholism
get some carbs down ya de lad x

>>83101314
wish it was but I just have like these mini nuclear bombs that go off in my head in certain situations

>>83101300
>I'll show you a seethie weethie lid right now.

TATERS GONNA TATE

>>83101315
Just eaten some chocolate, feel a bit better now.
I don't have diabetes. Is this related to me binge drinking yesterday?

>>83101337
Your organs are probably failing

>>83101322
do you fight? you need to learn to fight / be involved in some violence / train fighting atleast

I used to have same type of feeling, manager would say something at work and I'd just go red and the choices seemed like I either kill them or run away, but I actively changed my lifestyle as much as I could and threw myself in as many awful situations as I could just so I could get hit in the face a few times, since then I haven't had a problem cos I know I'm not gonna die

>>83101202
PIP coming on strong de lad

>>83101346
It's related to something traumatic that happened a few years ago, fighting might not help but I could try it suppose.
I already tried a type of exposure therapy with a previous job, it lasted about a year putting myself in situations I wouldnt want to be in, it didn't help as in the end I just ran away and left my employer wondering wtf was wrong with me

>>83101348
Already got PIP

>>83101267
That's painful lad. I wanted to lose my virginity to her.
I'll give it a few weeks, will email her again apologising and asking for a second chance.

>>83101387
She won't go for it lad. The more you try, the more you'll be proving to her that you are indeed a psycho who is too attached to her. There's literally nothing you can do now except move on. There is no winning move on that board for you to play

>>83101387
In 5 years time: "I'll just wait 2 more weeks and then email her the 130th time. She still hasn't explained why she won't have sex with me"

Hey lads, I need some advice.
I need a job, but my social anxiety, autism and just being a retard in general, is making it difficult.

I'm 33, and I'm a NEET, I've never had a job in my life before. I've fucked up badly and I only have about 140 Pounds to my name.

I don't think the people I live with are going to tolerate me for very much longer and I don't want to end up homeless.

I was on universal credit, but I fuck that one up also. I was getting really bad with my agoraphobia. And stopped communicating with them because of panic attacks, and me beinga fucking retard. They ended up closing my account, and I can't even repeal the closure because I left it too long.

C-PTSD lads champing at the bit to tell you they have 'PTSD'

>>83101372
Whatever it is I hope you're okay bro and yes unfortunately because it had such a positive effect on me I'm happy to recommend another person cocaine lager and a few scraps however I am very aware this isn't normal lol nor is it always the correct diagnosis etc, just remember you are a G (unironic, say it with your chest)

Hey mate, first off, I want to say I'm really glad you reached out. It sounds like you're in a really tough spot, but you're clearly aware of what's happening and you want to change things and that's already a huge step in the right direction. You're not beyond help, and you're definitely not a retard. You're a person who's struggling under some really heavy stuff social anxiety, autism, and agoraphobia are real barriers, not moral failings.

The state of things to come

>>83101400
we are very similar people, lad. although i feel quite lucky to have gotten out of the flatshare i was in, but i also miss speaking to other people (who aren't delivering me food).

>They ended up closing my account, and I can't even repeal the closure because I left it too long.
how long has it been? you get one month to contact them for a mandatory reconsideration. tbqh my letter probably arrived there a couple of days late, but today they added another journal note saying they've received the letter and will tell me their decision (they CANNOT give me a timescale).

>>83101416
>>83101400
meant4 that woops

>>83100509
any overpriced poorly made merch de lad?

SEASIDEUPDATE
https://youtu.be/EPVGVDSUWrE
SEASIDEUPDATE

>>83101416
ChatGPT platitude shite

the REAL advice is to get 140 quid worth of ketamine, squat in the flat without paying rent, now that no-fault evictions are banned and he'll have to accrue arrears for a valid Section 8 notice.

in all that time he can take out whatever short term loans he can muster (plus cadge money off friends/family), while he gets 6 months of 'breathing space' for the resulting debts.

when he's ready to start over, he can declare himself bankrupt. maybe get a few cheeky grants, reapply for UC under disability discrimination law to see if he can get backpaid.

>>83101396
Fuck's sake.
To think that if I'd just waited a few more days or not double messaged she might have seen me again.
God my life is a fucking joke.

>>83101400
You need professional benefits support.
Search where you are (you WILL have to physically drag yourself there, even if you've not bathed for months, they will NOT care what state you are in) for a walk in center and make an appointment, ttake all the paperwork and passwords etc and ID you have relating to UC.

Look it up now and phone tomorrow to make an appointment.

Been in your situation, you cannot get out of it by yourself, to them it will be easy, regular work, let them take over most of it.

>>83101450
I get that you're being darkly practical here and I understand the frustration behind it. When someone's desperate, it's tempting to look for screw the system workarounds. But what you're describing (buying drugs, taking on debts you plan to default on, or intentionally squatting) would very likely make things way worse for the person m8- legally, financially, and mentally.

Never will I have a lass smiling at me across the table.

If I get some ket will this help me stop being alcoholic?

need Dublin update

>>83101450
this infuriated me to read cos i paid bare fucking tax last year but if you were that down bad and didn't mind the hundreds of awful conversations you'll have to have whilst performing those moves then fuck me do your thing, I could not bare it

Just thought of something funny I could do on AW to the escort: change my review to negative.

>>83101512
Email AW support tell them she had you beaten and robbed, make up a police crime reference number

>>83101466
shut up, bot. you can't fool me with your minor syntax changes.

>>83101502
bankruptcy? talk to Citizens Advice obviously, there are a bunch of options they recommend first. one of those things where the hassle feels like it'll cost more in people's time/wages than it's worth.

i'm down to 2.37 left of my overdraft (just had some repeat Amazon order payments declined today). but life finds a way x

can of strongbow i'm a mess
desperately clutching onto a leaflet on depression
supplied to me by the nhs
it's anyone's guess how i got here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEYYI1ii0AU

>>83101512
You are so pathetic. I hope one of your next escorts beats and robs you.

My dad called me up out of nowhere and just started on me about not having a job and providing for my mum more.

I mean... I know. You don't think I'm the one who kicks myself the most for this situation? I hate the assumption that people think I don't care or I'm lazy when i'm constantly applying for jobs. But he's a boomer and has no reference point for the current state of the world or mental health or ADHD or anything. It's like talking to a brick wall. I know he's my dad and the whole point is he's 'looking out for me' but all calls like that do is ruin my mood and my productivity and I end up applying for LESS jobs because now i feel like shit at the implication I'm not trying. When he has no idea what I do all day anyway because we don't live together. Just felt like ranting about this. Ignore.

>>83101400
Yeah I kind of relate. Late 20s but my anxiety is the worst it's ever been right now, sanctioned from UC but hopefully the next payment will go through, but my agoraphobia is fucking me up too. Esp with phone calls. I'm in an unarranged overdraft with my bank but for some reason still won't call them to sort it out. I fucking hate being ADHD/ schizo/ autist/ OCD/ avoidant sometimes. It's such a weird fucking combination that basically paralyzes you and makes you useless in everyones eyes.

My advice, if it means anything, is get an exercise routine. Rode around on my bike this morning (ironically to get to the job centre on time) and after felt the best i've felt in weeks after beeing cooped up. Exercise really helps even though it gets memed to death. Problem with anything fear/ anxiety based is the only solution is to face the fear directly. Which is a pain in the ass. Best you can do is slowly build up to the fear with incremental steps.

Just discovered Zack d films and I've been watching his shorts for hours recently. I think I've almost seen them all.

>>83101422
Had to reply back by the end of October 29th.