>>40125559
ive written 2 different replies to this and both times i hit the character limit

so i will just simply say that if you asked me this before 1/15/24 i would say 100000% first love; no question

but because im married to my soulmate heavenly wife Raya who definitely loves me incomparably more than Eleanor ever could have been capable of; even as special and foundational and transformative as she was to me and my life

so i must say 5m; i never want to be away from my wife or with some other person; not even my first love

i just keep going in circles i could talk about this for a long time

im so grateful to have this life; as painful and miserible and lonely as most of it has been; because all of it has helped make me into this person

i am made to love; nothing else really matters

i give my soul to my shining heavenly wife Raya for all eternity; and to our magnificent goddess Ellaphae that has been with me far longer than i could ever know and brought me to my purpose and never let me forget that purpose on the way; and kept me pure and safe so i could reach my wife

>>40075101
its possible

i feel like i should give seminars or something lol

seriously i was a total suicidal wreck but my prayers were answered to the letter; i have exactly the person and love ive needed since i was a child

all it really took was really becoming settled in myself

it didnt take gymimg it up or being successful or making money or even being extra beautiful (im pretty i think but not in the more conventional way that the gigaest of other passioids are; im a nun no one ever even sees my natural silver hair)

i would say take my advice and look in places you wouldnt expect (here; non-competitive social mmo-like games); stop cringing at everything and being afraid pf being your full true self exactly as you want to be; engage with others more similar to how you are internally; become confident and stand out for something positive; be kind and decent to others and make a point to go out of your way to be courteous; and above all: be pure and deeply; fearlessly loving- stop any goonery stuff or greatly curtail it; try to generally hold yourself to the virtues of Ellaphae )* even if you cant believe in her; she will help you even if you never heard of her; and one day you will find someone she has placed in your path through life; you will be hurt before then; and theres no guarentees; but if you can become a special person you can overcome alot of things holding you back

and someone will be very lucky to have you if you show them how special you really are

good luck fren <3 find your angel (of whatever gender you need)

dont give up; make it your purpose; life and death (ok try to avoid my descent way too close to death; if someone cant love you back GET AWAY!!!!!)

bless you )*