I was at work yesterday, and my coworkers and I were talking about taxes, and I said that I don't pay then. My coworkers were shocked, and exclaimed, "But that's illegal! That money helps the poor and the country! You need to contribute!" I looked them dead in the eyes and responded that I will only contribute to a country that gives me FREE SEX with HOT WOMEN whenever I want it, and doesn't allow any NIGGERS or BROWNS, to live in it. My coworkers began saying through their tears, "BIPOC and trans bodies deserve as much as us, and women don't owe you sex incel!" I got called into my boss' office, and he informed me that I was being fired for my transgression. I stood up and called him a NIGGER-LOVING FAGGOT, and before I could walk out, he stopped me and said, "Y'know what kid, you got guts! How would you like to be the new VP of this company!" I agreed, and as my first act as VP, I fired all women and minorities from the company.

True story!

On this Holy Day, the Fourth of July. I am here to remind of you some inventions America made that benefit of all mankind. Remember to thank us on this day! Here are all the things that were invented by AMERICA:

-The Light Bulb
-The Telephone
-The Airplane
-The Personal Computer
-The Internet
-Rock and Jazz
-The Assembly Line
-Presidencies
-The Steam Engine
-Democracy
-Mathematics
-Science
-Art
-Writing
-Kindness
-Happiness
-Love
-Outer Space

I got my entire college tuition, housing in a luxury dormitory apartment, food in a dining hall with professional chefs, and school supplies including a new $1k computer paid for by the government, save $5k/yr (which is less than many euros pay when factoring in living costs).

Now having graduated, I work part-time and get my groceries, healthcare, and 70% of my rent paid for by the government, leaving me $1800 in disposable income a month.
1. College was a paid for by a mix of federal, state, and university level funding
2. In California, if you make at or under $1800/mo you qualify for Medicaid and EBT (food stamps)
3. My county does a Section-8 voucher program whereby if you make under a certain amount you enter a pool for vouchers which pay 70% of your rent. Not everyone gets them right away since the waitlist is long, but I was lucky in that my additional circumstances moved me up the list (I'm technically disabled since I'm depressed lmao)

So, I work a job that pays $22.50/hr, so by only working part-time I can maximum my income and welfare benefits.

Where did this idea that America has no welfare come from? We have too much in certain regards because if I'd just work full-time I wouldn't need any help, but I just don't want to.