>>96092685
"A reclusive old friend. Look I'm game, I just need to make a few calls"

Another angel-LARPing planeswalker suddenly entered. "Sister. Master. There is an unpleasant bearded man trying to enter our Eightfold Ecumene"

"Oh, that's just Urza. Living proof that Planeswalkers are the real menace of this world" I said dismissively.

"W-what? Master surely you don't mean the Phyrexian are the lesser evil-"

"Not in their present form, no. Don't you lot worry, I'm about to kill two birds with one stone"

"Then should we smite the heretic Urza first?"

"Don't give him the dignity of personal attention. Just shore up the defences and let him stew until he self-destructs, that's the best way to deal with Urza"

Several hours later, was Yawgmoth eying me with hunger, envy and yearning as I showed up on his plane with a chi engine in one hand and detailed schematics on femtomachine-enhanced biology in another. His instinctive megalomania quickly veered to scientific curiosity.

...

And while he was distracted, I simply used the time machine I'd SUCCESSFULLY built a few days ago due to the Phyrexians being otherwise occupied to go back in time, siphon away all the magic on Thran and have it subjugated by my own planes instead. Retconning away the Phyrexian threat.

...

"NO!!!" bellowed Urza, ripping a hole in space and time just to come back and get revenge on me. Crackling with cosmic power. "How DARE you flee from your deserved end! I shall destroy you with-ow" he moaned as I shot him with a dart. "What...what was that?"

"Reality chip"

"...what?"

"In ONE future, Phyrexians eventually figure out how to compleat Planeswalkers. Go have fun there and stop bothering me"

Wracked with the changing oil, he screamed in horror as I tossed him back through a portal in time where Phyrexian perfection was law, while I started work on an alternative multiverse preservation scheme.

2/2

[Death Stranding redux]

Several months earlier: https://archive.4plebs.org/tg/thread/76730010/#76731136

It was another beautiful day with all populated zones on Earth connected, and chiral phenomena such as this one girl whose womb has a connection to a Beach for some reason having a timeloop in her belly preventing her baby from being born, incidentally also granting her vague anti-rainfall powers that exist only to save Sam from a chiral fire finally being able to give birth. Sam and Lou were NOT suffering any home invasions, Fragile's attempts to breach the sacred redoubt of a habitual introvert were going slower but also steadier than in canon, and as one loner to another I'd decided to make a habitual wellness check. For a working class single father, Sam was doing as well as could be expected, and I decided to congratulate him with a great value pack of MoonCorp brand baby food.

"Aw, thanks! Gonna save a fortune on maintenance now I don't have to do as many supply runs for...whatever babies eat" said Sam as Lou tucked into her third tub of delicious truculae secretions.

"Don't mention it. Competent childcare and education is but another aspect of order, without it society will inevitably devolve into aura farming and crashouts" I assured him. "I'll have a drone drop off another pack every Sunday, give you plenty of time to plan the entity's education and career priorities for your entity"

"You're a real lifesaver" Sam blinked. "Wait, entity? That's not very nice, is it Lou?"

I sighed. "No, it's not, but facts often aren't. I stopped here for two reasons. You should know your kid's the next Extinction Entity"

...
. . .

"Bullshit" said Sam.

"Let's go ask Amelie right now" I offered, parting the veil between life and death. We went. We came back. Sam stared at Lou vaguely.

"I'm gonna fight the whole world if they try to take her from me" he said finally.

1/4