I’m in conflict with my identity. There are charactaristics that seem to be unalterable, and I fear not much can be done to change them. Intelligence, mental disorders, personality, perspective, social skills, all are for the most part defined by genetics and early childhood environment. Every time I find an issue I wish to fix, I discover it to be apart of these categories. The biggest problem I’m encountering is that these traits fluctuate. At times I can be so dysfunctional, mentally foggy, disorganized, unable to speak coherently, and process information well. Most of the time I just feel inadequate in these qualities. Then, there are rare moments that it’s as if my ‘iq’ magically goes up by two standard deviation. The difference is uncanny, and every trait I’ve listed above is shown to me in the capacity which I long for. How can I go from such a neurodegenerative like condition to an exceptionally functional person. I don’t abuse substances, I eat clean, exercise daily. Could this be caused by dpdr? Is this just a symptom of adhd/aspergers?

>>24490996
Yeh the judaizers will hate the renaissance.

Why do my cognitive abilities fluctuate throughout the day? Most of the time I feel like shit, it’s as if I got smashed in the head with a brick. Then there’s about 30 minutes randomly in the day that I’m highly functional, thoughts and intuitions come to me effortlessly. I have no health problems, eat decent, exercise and sleep well. My two ideas are autism/adhd or dpdr dissocation. Having access to this state 24/7 would make my life extraordinarily easier. Am I just fucked?