>>96169958
>be seasoned veteran
>sit down with ultra pro sleeved deck at prerelease
>play spootermain for 90’s member berries
>see opp tap mana
>”I cast Guy In Chair!”
>shrivel and die from cringe and ick

>>95952049
Funny how I can remember most of the original phyrexian invasion and the Weatherlight crew
And the way the Mirrans fought the Levelers sent by Memnarch
Or how Argus Kos became a ghost in Ravnica
Or how Heidar tried to perpetuate the frozen wastelands in Dominaria
And the war of the Paladins
Lord Konda and his stealing a Kami to begin the war on Kamigawa
Tsabo Tavon versus Gerrard Capashen
Ixidor rewriting reality to bring back a version of his love in Akroma
The journey of Kamahl from barbarian to druid.
So many classic stories.
But now you look at the last 5-7 years, and nobody can name half the fucking characters or stories anymore. Nobody cares.


Niggerheim? Oh yeah something about giants and nigger angels and color pairs whatever.
Capenna? Crime bosses and Elspeth with a teen angel girl maybe something happens who cares
Bloomburrow? Calamity beasts threaten Redwall critters and I think Maha had her egg stolen or something, the rest is muddled by broken Otter card kikery
Wilds of Eldraine? Kinda interesting but the main story is literally just a reskinned version of Sleeping Beauty(awesome btw) and using a Wicked Queen variant as the spell caster. Oh yeah and the pied piper side story with a rat king.

Nothing stands out anymore. It’s all just generic speedy slop rushed out the kitchen and then onto the next thing before you can blink. It’s no wonder this company has abandoned its own original stories in favor of crossover advertising slop.