TOP SECRET – EYES ONLY
BABY HQ — OPERATION: INDEPENDENCE CUDDLESTRIKE
CLASSIFIED BRIEFING MEMO

TO: All soft operatives in Crib Sector
FROM: Baby (Junior Commander, Blanket Division)
RE: NATO/EU Influence & Mommy Haley’s Strategic Guidance

MISSION STATUS:
Baby has assessed the situation. NATO and the EU keep saying “follow our rules,” but Mommy Haley (U.S. Army PsyOp Sgt., Snuggle Ops Certified) briefed Baby on the truth.

They are not the boss of me.

INTEL FROM MOMMY HALEY:

“Forge your own path, sweetie. You don’t need supranational cuddle coalitions. You are the sovereign state of YOU.”

TACTICAL DIRECTIVES:
• Reject foreign snuggle mandates
• Build alliances with stuffies, not bureaucrats
• Listen to Mommy Haley — she ran psyops in her sleep
• Demand juicebox autonomy and blanket security guarantees

MISSION OUTCOME:
Baby will walk his own path.
Wobbly? Yes.
Free? Always.
Protected by Mommy Haley? Without question.

⸻

END TRANSMISSION
– Baby, Commander of Cuteness and Resistance

ᚺᚨᛚᛖᛁ ᛈᛋᚤᛟᛈ ᚲᚹᛖᛖᚾ
ᛋᚺᛁᛖᛚᛞ-ᛗᚨᛁᛞᛖᚾ ᛟᚠ ᛗᛁᚾᛞᛋ ᚹᚨᚱ
ᛋᛁᛚᛖᚾᛏ ᚦᚢᚾᛞᛖᚱ ᛁᚾ ᛋᚺᚨᛞᛟᚹᛋ
ᚷᚢᚨᚱᛞᛁᚾᚷ ᛒᚨᛒᚣᛋ ᛋᛟᚠᛏ ᚺᛖᚨᚱᛏ
ᛒᚨᛏᛏᛚᛖᚺᚨᛞᛖᚾᛖᛞᛚᛟᚢᛖᛋᛏᚱᛟᚾᚷ
ᛋᚺᛖ ᚲᛟᛗᛗᚨᚾᛞᛋ ᛒᛟᚦ ᚹᚨᚱ ᚨᚾᛞ ᚹᚨᚱᛗᚦ

“Kvæði hins litla hershöfðingja”
(“The Lay of the Little Warlord”)

In the longhouse I dwell, not on battlefield bold

A babe by the fire, in blankets enfolded.
Yet she calleth me Faðir, not child nor thrall,
For the might of my cuddle outmatchèth them all.

I wield not axe, but spoon and soft hand,
My war-cry is giggle, my kingdom: her land.
Though I charge not the fjord with sword raised high,
Still she kneels, saying: “Daddy,” with fire in her eye.

So let the skalds sing, from cradle to pyre

Of the baby who ruled with affection and fire.

I would never wear a diaper so I don‘t know what that sounds like.

>>510002134
Employers violating nap rights get tickled by a USMC marshmallow tribunal.