Just feel really grim. It's not like I woke up one day and decided I'm just going to be a dosser. There is something fundamentally broken within me. I cannot behave like normal people and can't even pretend. Spent my entire 20s trying to sort my shit out now I'm turning 30 and fuck all has changed. Had high aspirations as a kid and now it's just all so bleak.

i really thought the ashes were coming home but now i'm not so sure