learning to read too soon, read a book my older brother got when i was 4, and that book was about the intelligence of animals. That book said that one of the biggest differences between humans and animals is, that humans know that they will die one day, even if they are completely healthy in the moment. That smacked me in the face so hard and i became completely dissociated and since then im stuck in a perpetual existential crisis. Ofcourse that made me weird and very removed from my peers, because i didnt see a sense in anything and i just couldnt get that fact out of my head even from that young age. Now i have copes and can live with it, but my formative years were completely fucked and im not well adjusted. Beside that i would have had good conditions for growing up well adjusted, nice parents, peaceful neighbourhood, stuff like that. But that fucking book ruined it all. Looking back everything stems from that book

yesterday i drank too much too, on night out with the lads i just drink 2-3 beers thats it, so i havent been properly drunk for atleast 1 year, but yesterday i overdid it big time and im very tired from my bluecollar work on top of that, now i remember why i dont drink so much. Should have just smoked a joint and gone to bed at 10pm fuck. my whole free day is down the gutter