Been suffering alot due to my chronic depression, can't even get out of my room. Stopped talking with my closed ones, even people I love with. Ghosted every friend I had cause I don't have the energy to continue a conversation.
Thought it was better to push all relations away as I was planning to end it soon(even attempted but no one knows).
Now whenever I face them, no one even dares to look me in the eye, I have become invisible. Ik it's all my fault but what now? If only the attempt had been successful...

>going through a lot since the past 6 months
>highly depressed at 17
>know that it's time to face the real world, start earning and want to provide for my family so my father can retire
>but can't even get self out of the bed
>start cutting myself and punching the walls till my knuckles swelling
>push away all my friends because ik they cannot do anything for my help
>talk to therapist but unable to talk anything real with them
>multiple suicide attempts but failed each time and no one even knows

NO ONE TO TALK TO, NO ONE WHO MIGHT CARE, CANT EVEN DIE, THIS IS THE MOST HELPLESS I COULD GET, HOW DO I LIVE ANYMORE(OR DIE)