Why does it seem like this animal in particular is so subject to rediculous ways if dying?

>be me
>come home drunk at
>don't remember the last three hours
>parakeet won't shut the fuck up
>throw cage on the ground
>parakeet flips out
>kick cage and it opens
>parakeet flies into the ceiling fan and gets slammed into the wall
>squawking even louder
>pick up parakeet to put it away
>bites me
>punch parakeet
>pass out from drunken rage
>wake up and find the bird ripped out most of its own feathers
>still won't STFU
>drive parakeet a few towns away and leave it in the woods
>hangover goes away
Peace