>>81557685
Could you imagine living with jack black acting like an ass 24/7, I would literally eat a bullet.

I'm basically a normie, have a social circle and have a routine plan daily but something feels empty still every positive interaction with people is at arms length with them nothing too intimate. Sure working out makes me feel good but I want security and to be grounded. Not live up to the expectations of other people want me to be. This realization is starting to fuck with my schedules, started calling in sick to work more frequently I'm afraid to lose my only financial security. Constant feelings of impending doom looming over me than I never felt before like a black void gnawing at my core. The games i play become distractions from that empty feeling and from my thoughts. Starting to lose my mind, I don't like this feeling. People around me notice I'm changing for the worse either distance themselves from me or becoming condescending. I'm only 19 already my life is starting to fall apart.

>>81477463
you must be young, so I'll give you a bit of a heads up. This won't last forever but the lingering self hatred will. Part of it is porn addiction, submissive dependent personality, and a genuine appreciation of the physical mobility being feminine would give you. But if it isn't porn, the idea of being feminine for someone will throw you off. Watching something closely resembling your ideal self will make you so utterly disgusted to the point you question your antics. That's where I discovered I genuinely wanted the beauty of being feminine, the lively youthfulness that brought in people through charm, looks, and wit. And overall freedom. I didn't want to be the bimbo femboy types either. Similar to a napoleon strategist or unhinged type. You will eventually get over yourself, still would feel bitter looking in the mirror. But as long as you aren't overly ogreish ugly with heavy masculine facial expression in your eyes you should do a bit better than how I handled it.