For anyone that sees this. I made a post basically stating that I tried to use a woman to help suppress these feelings I have for transitioning by losing my virginity to her and hoping this was the answer to remove these thoughts and feelings for good. I was contemplating detransitioning 6-7 months prior to meeting her and so when we started talking.. I decided to take that leap and stop hormones and everything for good. 2 months in the relationship, I start getting these strong feelings from before I started HRT and it just disabled me and put me into autopilot. I’ve been on E for 3.6 years but I stopped for the 2-3 months we’ve been together and I decided to end once i started feeling this way again.

I’m now trying to understand if transitioning would make sense or if it would be smarter to try and find a different avenue in repressing these thoughts :/

I tried working out for a little bit, but it hurt me more to think about what I was losing so I had to stop that. I now just not on hormones and I just feel defeated and lost

Tried to see if meeting a girl and detransitioning to completely repress my feelings would go away, but it ended up just causing my GD feelings to come back after being off the hormones a month or two into the relationship. I felt it was right to end it and basically start at square one again.

I just am truly lost now because I genuinely thought that finding a girlfriend would make these problems go away :/ -