>if god exists he will have to beg for my forgiveness

abrahamics worship the demiurge

I've been delving deep in the rabbit hole of Gnosticism and the prison planet hypothesis. To make it short, it gave me a major existential crisis, and I can't cope with any faith. Because yeah, WHY would you trust the light? In the abyss, the fish who go towards the light get eaten by monster fish. How does one cope with all this?

The simplest answer is correct

The benevolent jewgod is a fraud and a lie

They actually worship a corrupt demiurge. This reality is intentionally shit and promotes suffering because his Archons feed off the loosh energy.

He and his archons are enjoying the loosh they get from this inherently suffering generating reality