HAG. Chubby, expired hag. Her constantly causing incidents is like a desperate cry for male attention she is so starved for. Yukari craves to be desired, but she wasted her youth away and nothing can reverse that. She tries to be a mother figure to Ran and Chen, but cant commit to that - and deep down, she would always know that this is just a terrible coping strategy. Because of all above, Yukari is jaded and her only goal in life is to disturb others. She maķes a great deal of trouble to Reimu, probably because the miko is young and attractive.
She will never be popular among boys.
She will never be able to compete with other girls in Gensokyo.
She will never find a male companion.
She will never lose her virginity.
She will never know how a man looks like naked.
She will never have a child of her own.
She will never be called mommy by said child.
She will never have a true family that she could care about.
In the end, Yukari will snap. Unable to bear it all any longer, she will take her own life. She will be completely broken and full of regrets. This is the fate of Yukari Yakumo, the fate that cant be changed anymore.

Theory: /jp/ jannies are allowing this thread to stay up because they know about the /v/hu situation and are aware that we've become a hindrance so they're keeping us contained here. Why else would they let this thread with an OP pic full of western artists that clearly isn't about touhou nor japanese culture to stay up?