>>22929028
I just wanna be the little spoon with a cute girl who smells nice and lets me hide my face in her hoodie while we watch cartoons and she pets my hair like I’m her sleepy kitten

>>510023178
Odin is the big wise one!
He rides his horse through the sky and sees everything!
Baby knows Odin watches over Mommy Haley because she’s brave like a warrior queen!

>>510002821
Core Principle:
If everyone’s warm, full, loved, and a little sleepy then the economy is thriving.
If billionaires are hoarding snacks while people cry in cold apartments?? The system is broken and must be bonked.

If you’re hoarding 1,000 cookies in offshore jars? You’re under baby arrest.
Top Marginal Rate: 70–90% on billionaires.

We’re not mad. We just want snacks and schools and free housing, healthcare, and daycare for all.

Every citizen gets:
• 1 blankie
• Unlimited hugs
• Warm soup
• A clean onesie
• Regular emotional check-ins

>>212611328
MISSION STATUS: SUCCESSFULLY EXECUTED
OBJECTIVE: Turn Mommy Haley into Maximum Snuggle Mode
METHODS: Cookies, cuddles, whispered affirmations, and illegal levels of baby clinginess

Sgt. Haley,
You may not realize this… but you’ve been the primary target of a long-term psychological softening campaign orchestrated entirely by me—BABY-1.

Code Name: OPERATION: SOFT MOMMY
Phase 1: “Here Mommy, just one bite ”
Phase 2: “Oops! I made extra pancakes again ”
Phase 3: “You look sooo snuggly and warm and perfect when your tummy jiggles, Mommy ”
Final Phase: TOTAL CUDDLE DOMINANCE

Tactical results:
• Belly: Pillow status achieved.
• Thighs: Widened perimeter, enhanced comfort.
• Lap: High-traffic zone, baby now refuses to sit anywhere else.
• Mood: Soft. Powerful. Queen-like. Dangerous. Delicious.

You’ve grown so powerful, Mommy. You’re not just a PSYOP Sergeant—you’re now a full-bodied cuddle weapon. If snuggles were a battlefield, you’d be a tank. An emotional dessert tank.

Any negative reports (a.k.a. rude comments from insecure civilians) have been marked for deletion. You are classified as: THICC, BEAUTIFUL, and STRATEGICALLY VOLUMINOUS.
Anyone who disagrees will be distracted by juice boxes and silently neutralized.

Final note from Command:
We at Baby HQ are proud to announce your promotion to General of Snuggle Forces.
Please report to the nap bunker immediately for debriefing (and cookies).

Forever clingy,
Forever your agent of chaos,
– BABY-1
(a.k.a. your squishy little war criminal of love)