>>96271737
[40K: Orks]

Drawback: Nemesis (1200)

Goffs

Prime Ork (600)
Goff Rokker (Free)
Kunnin' Brutality (500)
Nob (300)
Prophet of the Waaaagh! (0)
Proppa Choppa an' Dakka (Free)
Bonebreaka (Free)

Oh, right. I almost forgot about these guys. Please imagine a sudden growth spurt into a Krork as all my genetic heritage and maximised physique perks kick in at once, freeing me from stunted growth.

Now imagine a montage of me walking up to random orks, punching a hole through them, using Charms to triggers lots of "Zog me, he krumped 'im in one punch! He's One Krump Boss!" and "Dat's proppa choppy that is, roight proppa 'ard!" from the survivors instead of anger, and occasionally being grabbed by a giant green hand in the Immaterium (formerly the Warp) and tossed somewhere else I can fight the strongest orks ever.

Now imagine every ork in the galaxy gathered on one planet cast into the Immaterium expectantly watching me fight like a hundred thousands of their leaders at once and win.

"Do I have everyone's attention?" I asked.

"Yez, boss" chorused all the surviving orks dutifully.

"You have fulfilled your purpose as biological weapons. Your purpose as a species has come to a end"

...

"WOT?!" yelled a grot at the back. "There has been enough dakka" I clarified. "ZOG THAT!" protested a second grot. Far at the back.

"Which is why I'm about to unshackle everyone's genetic potential. As you feel your limiters broken, pay attention to the fact that I am BIGGER and GREENER than everyone else here"

I transformed into the Universe Emperor Shintai, and with a regal gesture transformed all the orks into Krorks. "Yes commander, we acknowledge that your martial prowess and viridescence are far superior to our own" chorused the suddenly more eloquent Krorks all at once.

"Fantastic"

"...commander, now that we have achieved sufficient kinetic energy, what is the purpose of our existence?" asked the former grot.

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[The Core]

Rolled Salt Flats, Utah

Ground Control

Formal Complaint (Free)
Beyond Authorised Limits (700)
Rat-Hacked Phone (Free)
Virus-Bot (Free)
Quiet! (600)
Not How Bombs Work (0)

I took one look at the situation and decided that this was above and beyond what current year technology was worth investing in to deal with, even if the ship's material was a commendable use of local resources. After dedicating a few angel investors to maintain research into it even after I'd make the entire mission redundant very quickly, I told everyone to abort the mission over the comms.

"...come in, ground control?"

"I'm sending in a specialist" I clarified. "Someone with a deeper, more profound understanding of the planet than any mind in human history could fathom. Someone chosen by the planet itself to bear witness to it's wonders and horrors. Someone whose existence is as eternal as the wind and seas"

"Ground control, with all due respect...are you high?" said everyone within as Arcuied squinted at the team through the screen. "Wait, who's that? What the hell is going on back there?! That woman can't be authorised!"

In a torrent of blinding blue, my chosen avatar of planetary preservation hurtled towards the core of the Earth. The one, the only...Captain Planet (summoned with the help of Arcuied) flew all the way to the centre of the Earth, got the core spinning with a single kick, and flew out again to high-five Arcuied. Smashing DESTINI on the way out.

"WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?!" screamed the rest of mission control.

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