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7/24/2025, 4:57:37 AM
>come into this thread looking for answers (i too want to shrink my penis and prevent erections
>literally all 80 replies are off topic
this is why this site is dying.
>literally all 80 replies are off topic
this is why this site is dying.
7/11/2025, 4:33:38 AM
i met him here when i was 21, suicidal, friendless, and failing university. i was pretty but that was basically all i had. he was 30, employed, married.
he made me cut for him, but i liked cutting for him. he made me cry, but afterwards i asked him to make me cry more. he was so nice to me every time i hurt myself for him. he was also my closest thing to a father. he listened to my day when noone else would. he talked me through my projects and helped me turn my semester around. he listened to me talk about trauma. he called me stupid and pathetic every day, just casually in a conversation. he would explain to me exactly why i'm stupid and pathetic, he would list reasons and bring up things i told him until i cried. he would tell me how pretty and smart i was, i just didn't know how to use my smarts. he would threaten to leave me if i didn't do what he said. he told me how much he loved my scars and my bruises, how sexy my weakness was. he encouraged me to see men irl who would hurt me, i had so many bruises at one point i had to cover the ones on my face with makeup so people wouldn't think i was abused. he made me cut degrading things in visible places, and cut them again when they healed. he said he was going to make me hang myself with a noose at the end of spring. he made me buy the noose.
when i post pictures of our conversations here trannies always feel jealous. i used to feel jealous of other trannies being abused. but i wasn't really abused, was i? because i wanted it, because we never met, because it was never a real relationship because he was married. i knew he was going to hurt me from the beginning, but i still let myself become attached to him. i'm not a victim, i don't belong in victim support groups, but then what am i? surely something happened to me, right, it wasn't just nothing? what word even applies here? i don't know anymore. the worst part is knowing that really, truly, unavoidably, it was my fault.
he made me cut for him, but i liked cutting for him. he made me cry, but afterwards i asked him to make me cry more. he was so nice to me every time i hurt myself for him. he was also my closest thing to a father. he listened to my day when noone else would. he talked me through my projects and helped me turn my semester around. he listened to me talk about trauma. he called me stupid and pathetic every day, just casually in a conversation. he would explain to me exactly why i'm stupid and pathetic, he would list reasons and bring up things i told him until i cried. he would tell me how pretty and smart i was, i just didn't know how to use my smarts. he would threaten to leave me if i didn't do what he said. he told me how much he loved my scars and my bruises, how sexy my weakness was. he encouraged me to see men irl who would hurt me, i had so many bruises at one point i had to cover the ones on my face with makeup so people wouldn't think i was abused. he made me cut degrading things in visible places, and cut them again when they healed. he said he was going to make me hang myself with a noose at the end of spring. he made me buy the noose.
when i post pictures of our conversations here trannies always feel jealous. i used to feel jealous of other trannies being abused. but i wasn't really abused, was i? because i wanted it, because we never met, because it was never a real relationship because he was married. i knew he was going to hurt me from the beginning, but i still let myself become attached to him. i'm not a victim, i don't belong in victim support groups, but then what am i? surely something happened to me, right, it wasn't just nothing? what word even applies here? i don't know anymore. the worst part is knowing that really, truly, unavoidably, it was my fault.
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