I was randomly assaulted as a teenager and beat up, just because some assholes wanted to impress their girlfriends. Complete strangers from another school. Now 10 years later I sometimes flinch when passing by people because I think they're going to hit me. I hate people.

My life is just one long hostage situation. I want to kill myself but I can't hurt my family who have done so much for me like that. I am an alien, I'm not human. I'm different. Aren't we all? You and I aren't even the same species, because I'm so different. This is a kind of hell. I'm being punished for something. I keep telling myself that I want to go home when I'm in extreme stress, but I don't even know where home is. I obviously don't belong here. Release me release me release me

Day 1 of emulating Rei as a "literally me" persona was an absolute disaster. How am I supposed to stay stoic and emotionless when I'm surrounded by stupid, annoying people who piss me off? People suck.